


Immune to the Light

by blueenvelopes935



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Cutting, Duel in the woods ends differently, F/M, Familiar faces but different story, Force Healing, Force baby--you knew that was coming right?, I heart the Finalizer, Knocked up by a Sith without a proper hand slash tsk tsk, Kylo in love, Luke Skywalker - Freeform, Maybe a bit twisted but not Fulcrum twisted, My stories are not for everyone, No quarter, Obsessed Kylo, Profanity, Reylo - Freeform, Sex on a star destroyer, Skywalker family values, Snoke has plans for Rey, Space Politics, Stolen kisses under Snoke's nose, The sixth wife?, Very AU, Wise old Leia Organa might just be the best Leia Organa, no safe spaces here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-08-31 03:26:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 106,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8561797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueenvelopes935/pseuds/blueenvelopes935
Summary: “If what you say about this girl is true, bring her to me.” The duel in the Starkiller woods ends differently in this Dark AU, and Kylo Ren takes Rey to Snoke.  To the victor go the spoils.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Immune to the Light](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13735638) by [Tersie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tersie/pseuds/Tersie)



> Inspiration belongs to Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve for La Belle et la Bête and most especially to Richard Wagner for Tristan and Isolde

Anyone can deal with victory. Only the mighty can bear defeat.  The statement is pithy, but true.  Kylo Ren glances around the shuttle full of stunned faces speaking in hushed voices.  No, he thinks, there are not any mighty among the First Order today. 

 

Not now that the Starkiller is no more. 

 

Normally, most men give Kylo Ren a wide berth even if they pretend not to keep their distance.  Such are his rank and reputation.  But this shuttle is overloaded and Kylo doesn’t get his normal privacy.   Making matters worse, Hux is seated at his side.  The young general keeps wringing his hands and pulling at his collar.  He shoots Kylo another disgusted look and mutters, “I still can’t believe it.  The oscillator had our highest level of shielding.  X-wing ordinance can’t penetrate that.  How did this happen?”

 

Han Solo, Kylo thinks to himself.  Han Solo is how this happened.  The man helped take out two Death Stars and now the Starkiller.  Blowing shit up turned out to be his father’s best talent.

 

Beside him, the nervous Hux shakes his head and mutters again as he makes a fist, “How did this happen?”

 

Kylo ignores him.   There will be plenty of opportunities for post mortem discussions about the Starkiller.  He’s not in the mood for one now. 

 

The First Knight of the First Order sits stripped bare to the waist.  The remains of three first aid kits lay strewn at his feet atop his discarded mask, surcoat and shirt.  He has several saber burns, most notably to his face and shoulder.  But it’s the wookiee’s crossbow blaster shot that is his real injury.  Kylo knows that he has lost quite a bit of blood and he will surely have a date with a bacta tank in the near future.  But the patchwork of bacta patches he now wears seems to have stopped the bleeding.  Too bad they don’t help with the pain. 

 

The pain is as much mental as it is physical.  For it is humbling to have been bloodied and beaten.  And by an untrained young girl, no less. 

 

But Hux doesn’t know that.  Hux only knows that he had located Kylo Ren as instructed by the Leader.  The general had found him struggling to his feet nearby the unconscious Resistance scavenger girl Kylo had knocked out with the Force.  If Hux had arrived a minute earlier, he would have seen the girl looming over Kylo’s fallen form brandishing her sword for the kill.  But at the last second with his last bit of concentration, Kylo had grabbed victory from the jaws of defeat.

 

Hux had protested that there wasn’t time to get the girl onboard the shuttle and why bother to save the enemy anyway.  But Kylo had held firm.  The Supreme Leader had ordered Kylo to bring him the girl, and bring him the girl he would.  Plus, the girl has seen the map to Skywalker.  If nothing else, Kylo will preserve this link to discovering his uncle’s hiding spot.  And perhaps when his Master sees the prize his Apprentice has brought him, he will be more merciful about this defeat.  For the capture of the girl is the one bright spot in this otherwise very grim day. 

 

Kylo looks around again.  He is the only injured man onboard.  Most of the other occupants are Hux’s senior officers who, like the general, have never seen real combat.  They are Academy-type textbook soldiers.  The children of the Imperial Exiles who a generation ago had coalesced in the Unknown Regions and the Outer Rim to form the First Order.  These men grew up on stories of the glory days of Darth Vader’s Imperial Navy and the order and pomp of Palpatine’s Empire. 

 

Not so with him.  Kylo had grown up with stories of commando raids and Death Star trench runs.  He’s not surprised that the Resistance had tried to scuttle the Starkiller, nor is he surprised that they succeeded.  He’s Han Solo’s son and he knows that shielding is only a mild deterrent to fanatics with bombs.  Really, Hux ought to know that too.  Didn’t the nerdy general ever study the Battle of Endor? 

 

Hux is muttering again.  Kylo just turns away. 

 

Kylo has long thought these sorts of super weapons to be a waste of resources and therefore too concentrated a risk.  For no matter how expert your engineering, there is always some version of a small thermal exhaust port right below the main port that is a weak spot.   History has proved this twice already.  But the First Order in its arrogance and insistence on recreating the past, had doggedly built its own version.  And cynically, Kylo had wondered whether his Master had to have his own bigger, better Death Star since Darth Sidious had owned two before him.  The Sith are competitive like that.

 

Kylo glances over at Hux.  His would-be rival is probably a goner.  The Starkiller was his command, after all.  One thing is for certain, Kylo isn’t going to die over this.  The Leader wouldn’t have bothered to order Hux to retrieve him if he had wanted his Apprentice dead.  But Kylo knows from long experience that just because he’s going to live does not mean that the next few days will be fun.  For Leader Snoke is an expert at inflicting non-lethal pain. 

 

And so Kylo is hoping that the discovery of this untrained, newly awakened girl will blunt some of his Master’s fury.  That and the news of the death of Han Solo.  After all, the Apprentice has done what was asked of him:  he has killed his father and brought the girl to his Master.  So perhaps between killing Hux and killing this girl, Snoke’s bloodlust over the loss of the Starkiller will be mostly satisfied. 

 

Where is the girl?  Kylo looks around.  He has no idea where she is.  But she’s here onboard.  He can sense her presence in the Force.  For it’s hard to miss all that blinding Light shining out at his mind.  It’s like squinting into the sun on a bright summer’s day.   Dazzling him. 

 

For a moment, Kylo closes his eyes and opens his mind and wallows in the Light.  Giving in to the temptation here where it is safe to do so.   Soon enough they will be at his Master’s hidden stronghold and Kylo will have to resolutely reject the call to the Light.  And since his Master knows of Kylo’s weakness, he will probably make Kylo kill the girl himself.  To teach his Apprentice to overcome temptation and to reaffirm his commitment to the Dark.  Kylo will, of course, comply.  He always complies.  And it’s no big deal.  Killing has become second nature to him after years of practice.  For he is immune to the Light.

 

He shakes his head now as if to clear it.  To thrust away the girl’s creeping Force imprint.  He is immune to the Light, he reminds himself.  He is a Sith Apprentice and he is immune to the Light.

 

Four hours later, the shuttle is landing and Kylo Ren is back in his blood encrusted, tattered uniform.  He has left off the mask, for Kylo will face this meeting head on and look the Leader in the eye.  Standing ready to disembark, he projects a calm he does not feel.   For through the viewport, he sees his Master waiting on the landing platform.  That is not typical.  And it's not an encouraging sign. 

 

Kylo is not the only one who recognizes the old Muun Sith waiting below.  A murmur ripples through the crowd of men and with it a strong jolt of fear.  Most of the officers onboard have never been in the Leader’s presence.  But to a man, they have heard the stories.

 

Kylo exchanges a look with Hux.   It is a rare moment of solidarity between them.  For neither man relishes having to report to the Supreme Leader today.  Normally, the aggressive Hux would be elbowing Kylo out of the way to take the lead.  But not today.  The general hangs back so Kylo Ren is the first man off the shuttle.  The Apprentice knows better than to appear reluctant to accept a just punishment for failure.   He stalks forward purposefully, ignoring the searing pain in his side that seems to reverberate up his back with each footfall.  Then he takes a knee in the traditional obeisance that is his Sith Master's due.

 

Hux appears at his side to stand at rigid military attention. It's probably not possible, but the general looks even paler than usual.  Behind them Kylo hears the clattering of feet as the remaining officers, troopers and crew assemble in their wake. 

 

In all, they are not quite thirty men.  And they represent the bulk of the survivors of the Starkiller.  For today has been a defeat of enormous proportions, costly in terms of men, supplies and ships.  The loss of the _Finalizer_ would have been less of a setback than the implosion of Starkiller Base, he thinks.

 

Snoke steps up to Kylo first. He regards his Apprentice steadily.  Then abruptly he reaches to tear the bacta bandage from Kylo’s face. The slashing saber burn is revealed. 

 

"She landed a blow," his Master observes flatly for all to hear. "Good.  Now you look like a man."

 

Kylo reaches into his surcoat and produces the girl's stolen saber.  Silently he offers it.  His Master accepts the sword, turning it over in his spindly Muun hands.  How covetous he appears as he strokes the hilt.  "This is a Jedi's sword," he concludes softly. 

 

"It is Anakin Skywalker's Jedi sword, my Master."

 

The Muun raises an eyebrow.   The expression makes his ruined gargoyle face even more bizarre. "What an extraordinary coincidence," he says dryly.   And Kylo Ren knows full well that his Master does not believe in coincidences.  He believes in the Force.  Leader Snoke looks up now to scan the crowd behind them.  "You have brought her to me.  Where is she?"  

 

Of course, his Master would sense the girl in the Force.  The girl with all that bewitching Light.  It is like a siren’s call to a Sith.  The Resistance girl is just begging to be corrupted by Darkness.  Or maybe to corrupt the Darkness.  Kylo’s not sure.  The Light can be dangerous like that.  It is not to be underestimated.  That’s why it’s best to be immune. 

 

Kylo throws a head over his shoulder and orders, "Bring the prisoner."  The ragtag assembly looks around.  Where is the prisoner?  Evidently she has been forgotten and left onboard. 

 

Snoke is in no mood to be kept waiting.  He lunges forward a few paces as two troopers scurry up the ramp.   A few moments later they reappear, each holding one of the girl's arms as they drag her forward.  They drop her unconscious form in a heap at the top of the ramp.  Then one trooper gives her a savage kick that tumbles her over and over.  She rolls to land face down at the Supreme Leader's feet. 

 

All thirty pairs of eyes watch as the tall Muun lumbers down beside the girl.  Then reaches to turn her over gently.  The old Sith looks for a long moment down at her face.  Asleep in the Force and now bloodied from a split lip, the girl is less appealing than ever, Kylo thinks as he looks on.  She’s still dressed in smelly rags and sporting filthy scraped back hair that’s probably crawling with lice.  After having carried the girl to his shuttle on Takodana, Kylo had known to keep his distance in the interrogation room.  He had come as close as possible to touching her without actually doing so.  For even with his gloves on, he didn’t want to risk it again. 

 

But apparently the Muun has no qualms about touching her.  For he busies himself untying the girl's hair from its trio of knots.  Taking his time as he unwinds it and spreads it about her shoulders.  It's an odd gesture, and Kylo does not know what to make of it.  But surely it has meaning.  Everything his Master does has meaning. 

 

The decrepit Muun struggles stiffly to his feet now.  Then he beckons to the troopers still standing at the top of the ramp.  He must want them to carry the prisoner inside.  But no, the Supreme Leader has other plans.  As the two men snap to attention before him awaiting orders, the Muun ignites the Skywalker sword.  With one lightning fast spinning swing, his Master fells both men.  Cleaving their bodies neatly.  Then the Supreme Leader turns his attention back to the confused assembly. 

 

"No one harms her," the Sith decrees as he scans the crowd.

 

The Muun returns to Kylo now and begins issuing more instructions.  "Have her carried inside.  Clean her up and see to her injuries.  Have her monitored but do not treat her like a prisoner.  Then get yourself in a bacta tank.  It is time to complete your training.” 

 

His Master now glances over at the rigid Hux for the first time.  Eyeing him with cold disdain.  “Today the general here has lost the battle.  Lost it badly.  But you, my Apprentice, may have won the war.”  The Leader stares long and hard at the redheaded general, as if deciding.  Then he orders, “General Hux, you will await me in my audience chamber."

 

Kylo knows that tone.  It does not bode well for Hux.


	2. Chapter 2

Kylo Ren has a habit of stomping around with fast quick strides that prompt others to yield for him to pass.  Except, that is, when the First Knight accompanies his Master.  For now as the two Sith walk the halls of the Leader’s command center, Kylo adjusts his gait to the plodding, labored pace of his injured Master.  The Supreme Leader would definitely benefit from using a cane, Kylo thinks.  But he knows that his Master hates to show weakness.  And Kylo suspects that the wily Sith hides far greater injuries beneath his flowing robes than anyone suspects.  For if the rest of the Muun matches his face, then it’s a wonder he’s still alive.  

 

“Master, why are you doing this?” Kylo asks, keeping his tone as respectful as possible.  He’s not complaining—one does not complain to the Supreme Leader--but Kylo wants an explanation.  After all, this Resistance girl had tried to kill him and nearly succeeded.  She deserves to die.  “Why not kill her like we will Skywalker?”  Kylo is hoping he gets points for simply suggesting this.  For showing how immune he has become to the Light.

 

“Skywalker is a threat.  This girl is not.  So we shall be lenient.  Every now and then, a leader should be magnanimous.  It enhances your stature.”  His Master gives Kylo a meaningful look as he imparts his centuries of wisdom.  Old Snoke loves to teach.  “But be mindful only to show mercy where it is to your advantage, Apprentice.”

 

Yes, he knows this.  For a Sith, every decision is to be weighed in the context of strategy and power.  And that is why Kylo is still stumped as to what his Master is up to.  “So how is letting this girl live to our benefit?” Kylo wants to know. 

 

“The Force defaults to balance.  Never forget that, Apprentice, for it is the key to understanding the galaxy.  Do not make the mistake of trying to eradicate the Light. It cannot be done. Your grandfather and Sidious tried in vain and they only provoked the Force to strike back at them in the end.  It is best to seek to control the Light and to use it, where you can.”  The Muun shoots a meaningful glance over at his Apprentice now.  “This is why you must be strong enough in the Dark Side to resist the lure of the Light.  Because in order to use the Light, you must first master your temptation to join it.”

 

“Yes, Master.”  Kylo is repentant.  He knows that his call to the Light is shameful.  He has struggled with it for years, but still it persists.  

 

They enter into the infirmary now, passing an occupied bacta tank.  Kylo does a double take.  Is that Hux?  There is a reddish cast to the man's hair.  If that is Hux, then his Master had not been forgiving for the Starkiller.   But the general lives, and that is in itself a victory.  

 

“If all we do is keep her from Skywalker, then we have won,” Snoke continues explaining.  “But the scavenger girl could be so much more for us.  Her power could be very useful to me.”

 

Kylo still doesn’t fully understand.  How is this untrained Force sensitive girl any different than the padawans he killed at Skywalker’s Jedi Academy years ago?  “How will you avoid creating a new enemy?” he wants to know.  Kylo vividly recalls the girl swinging for him with cool determination.  Training this girl, even a little, could be a reckless move.  For she has already proven herself to be a quick study.

 

“You said it yourself, Apprentice.  She needs a teacher.”  Kylo scowls now at having his words thrown back in his face.  But his Master just smirks.  “Oh, I will not train her properly.  That would create a threat.  Instead, I will create an ally.  She will be a helpmate for the Sith.  Her power and her knowledge will be limited to those areas that benefit us.” 

 

Kylo is skeptical, but he says nothing.  Still without his mask on, his face must show it.  For his Master reveals, “I have done this before, Apprentice.  My last wife was a Jedi seer.  She would have been a very useful ally had she kept her Force.  But in the end, she was a delightful companion nonetheless.  I kept her, despite her lapses.”

 

Kylo frowns.  This is a story he has not heard before.  Who knew old Snoke had a Jedi wife.   His Master’s past is an ever-unfolding mystery.  “What happened to her Force?” he asks.  He’s curious.

 

“Master Yoda stripped her of her Force.  The Jedi High Council did not take kindly to her marrying a Sith lord.  My Shan made poor choices and, in the end, it was regrettable.  But we will not face any such hurdles with the scavenger.  She has no preconceived notions of the Force and she will not need to unlearn the Jedi dogma.  In many ways, she is the perfect candidate for this.”

 

At his side, the old Muun chuckles smugly.  “This will be easy.  As she slept, I wandered the girl’s mind.  She is so lonely, habitually mistreated and deprived.  A little kindness, a bit of luxury and some attention can go a long way with a woman, Apprentice.  You shall see.   In time, she will be a delight.  And a beauty,” Snoke adds.

 

A beauty?  Kylo thinks not.  He recalls the filthy girl dressed in grimy rags who bared her teeth at him like an animal.  Her body so lean that her frame was more like a man's than a woman's.  Her face freckled from years of sunburn and her hair scraped back in ugly utilitarian buns.  Yes, her Light is bewitching. He’s been trying to ignore her lovely Force imprint all morning. And her power is undeniably impressive.  Alluring even.  But her person is most definitely not.   From her ragged looks to her nonexistent hygiene, the girl is very unappealing.  

 

The Leader must be in his thoughts because he cautions Kylo, “Learn to recognize potential.   Few people or ideas will present themselves to you in fully developed, polished form.  A Sith must have the vision to see beyond the present and into the possibilities.  For future potential is the very essence of every plot and intrigue.” 

 

Kylo dutifully nods, but for the life of him he fails to see any beauty in the Resistance girl.  Plus, something about her reminds Kylo of his mother.  And that's definitely not appealing. 

 

The Muun smiles now with anticipation.  Kylo hasn’t seen his Master this excited in a long time.  And that is very telling given that it has been only a day since the demise of the Starkiller.  “It has been many, many years since I plotted to possess the Light.  Since your grandfather and I tried to rescue your misguided uncle.”  The Muun glances over at Kylo now with fatherly approval.  “You required no such persuasion.  You are a Skywalker through and through, created by Darkness and born to be Sith.” 

 

“She is a Resistance fighter,” Kylo reminds him.  “They are terrorist fanatics.  She cannot be trusted.”

 

“You mistake the goal, Apprentice,” his Master corrects him.  “We do not need to trust her.  We need her to trust us.  And she did not seek out the Resistance.  She encountered the droid by accident. That was the Force intervening to bring her to our attention. Calling her to her destiny.  That was fate at work.  For there are no coincidences that bring together the Dark and the Light.  Always, there is a reason.” 

 

“She was with Han Solo,” Kylo reminds him.

 

“Yes, she suspects some of your heritage.  We will use that to our advantage. Transparency will help earn her trust.  Ah, here we are.”  

 

The old Sith’s ubiquitous manservant Milo is already here, waiting for Snoke.  As is Chief Healer Smath who had overseen Kylo’s own bacta treatment yesterday.  The two men stand by the entrance to a small treatment room where inside the girl lays asleep on a table. 

 

“Wait outside,” the Muun instructs the men.  Then he pauses on the threshold to face Kylo.  His Master speaks deliberately.  “Apprentice, she is mine.  Never forget that.”

 

“Yes, Master.”

 

They enter, and Kylo watches as his Master moves alongside the table to contemplate the sleeping girl.  She’s cleaner now, Kylo will grant him that.  She certainly smells better.   But beautiful?  Certainly, not. 

 

Why are they even wasting time today with this girl?    The First Order is in turmoil after the Starkiller debacle.  There are any number of tasks for them to be doing right now.  Plus, his mother is all over the holonet making speeches claiming righteous victory and condemning the destruction of Hosnia.   Privately, Kylo thinks destroying the Hosnian system was a poor strategic choice. Well, building the Starkiller in the first place was a poor strategic choice.  But once it was built, it would have to be used.  In order for weapons like that to have real deterrent value, their power must first be demonstrated.  And Hosnia was as good a system as any. 

 

Snoke is still staring down at the girl and it’s making Kylo antsy.  “Should I wake her up?” he asks, wondering what the delay is for.

 

“Oh, no, Apprentice.  That is my privilege.”  

 

Kylo watches in surprise as the old Muun Sith bends over the girl.  And kisses her awake. 

 

* * *

 

 

Rey blinks up at the figure bending over her, the form still a dark silhouette as her eyes adjust to the bright fluorescent light.  She blinks again rapidly.  Then her eyes come into focus and her mind too.  Some monstrous thing with piercing dark eyes looms over her.  "Oh!" Rey whimpers out the smallest cry of alarm.  Cringing back from the ruined face that is vaguely humanoid but definitely not human.

 

The monster grunts at her reaction.  Neither pleased nor displeased.  And then, he seems to smile as he pulls back. 

 

"Where am I?" Rey asks as she struggles to sit up on her elbows.  She's laying on a table of some kind but she's not strapped down, so this isn't another torture chair.  The last thing Rey remembers is being in the woods in the snow with another monster.  Only that monster had been much younger and much better looking. 

 

This monster is hideous to look at.  He has a barely closed hole in what remains of his left jaw. Paper thin grey skin covers the remainder of his sunken cheek. He has a mighty scar running down his forehead as if his skull were once cleaved in two.  And he is missing half of his left ear.  Altogether, he resembles something out of a nightmare.

 

But strangely enough, he is not threatening. 

 

"Welcome.  You are my guest,” the stranger says pleasantly.  As if they are friends somehow.

 

And oh, Gods!  Rey's eyes widen because she has heard that line before.   Now she is especially wary.  "Who are you?" Rey demands as she twists to look up at him.  He is very tall.  Almost Chewbacca tall.    

 

"I have been called many things over many years,” the man says in a slow, pleasant tone.  “But I am known to Force users like yourself as Darth Plagueis the Wise, Dark Lord of the Sith."

 

Darth.  Darth like Darth Vader?  Rey swallows hard.  And now she is becoming more aware of her surroundings.  She's lying on a table in a brightly lit, antiseptic looking medical room.  And she's wearing a loose white hospital gown. Rey reaches up, feeling the freshly washed wet hair that spills over her shoulders.  She is confused.  Has someone given her a bath?

 

"Where am I?" Rey demands again.  She wants a real answer this time.

 

"My dear, you are home."

 

Home?  Rey bolts upright at this announcement, thoroughly confused.  Home is a lonely abandoned AT-AT on a graveyard world.  Not wherever this is with this ugly Darth person.  Her head swivels and that's when she sees him standing behind her.  The other monster.   The one who had gotten in her head and killed Finn and Han Solo.  He's not wearing the mask and his face bears the slashing burn mark she had given him.  And he’s looking at her with undisguised hostility. 

 

"You!"  she gasps. Instantly, Rey is off the table and across the small room.  Putting as much distance as possible between them.  Adrenaline kicks in and Rey is ready to fight.  

 

The left side??  Yes, it was on the left where Chewie had shot him.  And that's the first place Rey is going to kick. And, oh no, there are two of them this time.  And they are both so much bigger than she is.  And she has no weapon.  But maybe she can try that thing with the Force again.  Like before when she concentrated and everything magically got easier. 

 

The first monster--the ugly tall grey one--is amused by her reaction.  "Oh, he will not harm you.  No one will harm you, my dear."  

 

Rey looks from one man to the other, trying to assess the threat. They are standing side by side looking at her.   Both so tall and garbed in black.  Neither holds a weapon.  But still, Rey does not feel safe.   The last time she had seen the young one, he had tossed her into a tree, killed Finn and then tried to kill her.

 

"There is no need to be afraid," the ugly one assures her.   But she’s not convinced because Rey has a bad feeling about this and long ago this Jakku girl had learned to listen to her gut.

 

"This is the First Order?" she asks.  Her voice comes out small and shaky so she swallows and repeats herself with deliberate confidence.  "You are with the First Order?"

 

The ugly one keeps doing all the talking.  "I am the First Order.”  He smiles congenially at her again and his tone is benign.  “I am known to the galaxy as Supreme Leader Snoke."

 

"Oh."  Rey doesn't know what to make of this answer.  Snoke?  The dreaded Snoke?  This mangled man is the Supreme Leader Snoke?

 

He looks pleased to have awed her.   "I believe you have met my Apprentice Kylo Ren."  He gestures to the younger, shorter human at his side. 

 

Rey's eyes dart over to the man Han Solo had called Ben.   The imposing man with great hair and intense eyes.  He’s glowering at her now, with arms crossed over his chest and feet set wide apart.  Looking very much in command.  Rey can’t help it, she looks down in reflexive fear and suddenly discovers that she is barefoot.  And now Rey gathers the billowy medical gown around her, self-conscious at being so undressed before her enemies.  Ever since she found that droid in the desert, her life has spiraled out of control.  And somehow it has all led to this.  To her standing barefoot with dripping wet hair.  Cold and naked under a hospital gown.  Once more a prisoner of the First Order.  Captured again by the scary man in black with the red sword who she had seen first in a vision. 

 

The tall grey one who calls himself the Supreme Leader walks forward.  And Rey steps back.  She keeps stepping back until she hits the wall behind her.  The man raises a large skeletal hand and instantly Rey is reminded of Kylo Ren raising his hand before he ripped into her mind.  But this man does not hurt her.  He reaches to cup her cheek, tipping her head back as she opens her eyes to stare up at him. 

 

“My Apprentice tells me that you have lived a wretched, miserable life of suffering.  That ends now.  I am very pleased that Kylo Ren has rescued you.”

 

Rey just blinks up at him.  Hearing his words but not really comprehending them.

 

“Milo,” the Supreme Leader calls and a dignified old man who must have been waiting just outside the open door steps in.  He has a slight build and he is neatly dressed in a sharp black uniform without insignia or rank. 

 

“Yes, my lord.”  The newcomer bows to the Leader.

 

“Milo, make her look like a lady.  And act like one.”

 

“Yes, Master.”

 

“I don't understand,” Rey whispers her thoughts aloud.  

 

The Supreme Leader turns back to Rey.  “My Apprentice is correct that you need a teacher.  For a great many things.”  Then he adds words that sound like a warning. “I have high hopes for you, my dear.  Do not disappoint me.” 

 

And as the Leader considers her further, he frowns.  Then he reaches a long grey finger to pull at the wide neckline of the hospital gown.  His finger finds a scar just above her collarbone and traces the raised and faded pink line that winds over her shoulder.  It’s an injury nearly a decade old that had been stitched together manually.   Rey cringes from the Leader’s touch but he ignores it.   His curiosity is stoked, and now he lifts the shoulder of her gown slightly to reveal her back.  Rey grabs at the material, feeling exposed.   He takes the hint and steps back.

 

“These are not new injuries,” he observes and then again he looks over to the open door.  “Smath,” he calls and a grizzled looking, heavyset medic steps in promptly.  “Fix this,” the Supreme Leader instructs, pointing to her collarbone.  “Fix all of it.  Make her as beautiful to my eyes as she is to my mind.  The Light should be beautiful.” 

 

And once more Rey feels the scrutiny of the tall monstrous man’s gaze.   She knows she is being judged and found wanting.  She shifts her weight uncomfortably.  “And feed her, Smath,” the Leader adds an afterthought.  “My dear, you are far too slim for good health and beauty.  Never shall you be hungry again.”

 

“I don’t understand,” Rey whispers a second time.  None of this makes sense to her.  She’s a Resistance fighter who broke out of prison, helped to blow up the Starkiller oscillator, and tried to kill Kylo Ren.  Why are these men trying to teach her and feed her and make her pretty?  “Why are you doing this?”

 

The Supreme Leader favors her with an indulgent smile.  “Because you are mine now, Rey of the Desert.  And I always take care of what is mine.” 


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, the nondescript old man called Milo presents himself to escort Rey out of the infirmary.He doesn’t restrain her and there are no troopers with him.But she thinks perhaps the guards are waiting outside.For Rey is quite certain that she is headed to another prison cell.She remembers well what it means to be a guest of the First Order. 

As they walk through the infirmary, Rey keeps glancing over at a man laying off to the side surrounded by medical equipment.The Chief Healer and several assistants stand at the man’s bedside looking displeased.And all around her, Rey feels a strange sensation of nagging discomfort.Like something is wrong and it hurts.But the feeling doesn’t seem to relate to herself, for she is just fine.Oddly enough, it seems to be coming from this injured man.

Rey stops and the Chief Healer looks over to catch her eye.“Is he dying?” she asks softly, wondering if that’s perhaps what she is sensing.Instantly, she regrets speaking her words, for no doubt the patient can hear her.

Chief Healer Smath walks over to her side as he answers plainly.“No, he will live.But he is in great pain.The Leader has forbidden us to give him anything for the pain.” 

Rey squints her disapproval at this cruelty.Yes, it must be this man’s agony she senses screaming out to her somehow.Is this the Force?It is so . . . unsettling.She can’t block it out of her mind."Why?" 

The old healer’s words are matter of fact but his tone conveys his own distaste for the situation."The general is being punished."

“Punished.”Rey echoes his word and again makes a face. The First Order is as brutal to its own leaders as it is to its enemy's, she sees."Why?"

"General Hux commanded the Starkiller."

“Oh.”So this injured man is a war criminal, she realizes.She vaguely recognizes the name Hux.Rey is not much for politics and she has never spent much time following the holonet war news.There was no point, for it had all seemed such a long way from Jakku.Until it wasn’t.And then she was being shot at by First Order TIE fighters and running for her life with Finn.

Curious now, Rey steps forward to the man’s bedside."But he is so young."Too young to be wielding the fate of entire systems in his hands.This general looks barely older than Kylo Ren, and he too is young to be the zealot mass murderer he is.

"Yes.He is young.Hux had a brilliant career."The healer frowns in frustration."I cannot give him drugs.But there are no other prohibitions on his treatment," he says, glancing over at Rey suggestively.

Rey isn't following.She looks at him blankly. 

So he prompts her again."The Leader says you have the Force.That you will learn to heal with it."

"The Force?"Rey frowns and her eyes narrow.The Force is a scary, mysterious thing to her.Mostly, she has seen Kylo Ren use it to hurt her.She didn’t know that it could heal.

The old medic looks hopeful."Back in the Old Republic days, some Jedi used to heal with the Force."And now his appeal is a not so subtle hint.

"Smath--" The servant Milo's tone is a warning. He too steps closer and looks ready to intervene.

"The Force can heal?"Rey wonders at this. 

"Can you take his pain away?” Smath urges her.“If only for a few minutes, lady.He is exhausted from the pain."

"Smath," Milo gives the healer a stern look."Do not ask her to do this.If he has forbidden this of you, it is forbidden of her too."

"Why not?Give poor Hux a break.Five minutes of pain relief won't matter.He has suffered plenty and no doubt he will suffer more."

"Hosnia suffered too," Rey says quietly and both men turn to look sharply at her now.Clearly, she has spoken out of turn. The First Order does not appear to tolerate dissenting views, even on genocide. 

"Help him," the healer urges quietly as Milo frowns.“Show him mercy.” 

So Rey gingerly steps forward.She reaches for the young general's hand as she reaches out to the Force as best she can.And at the man’s touch, the pain and suffering she had felt dull the air around her now radiates straight to her."Oh!" Rey gasps. She staggers and breaks the physical connection. But then takes a deep breath, concentrates and again takes up the man's hand. 

Rey knows nothing of medicine and nothing of the Force.So she focuses on reaching out with her mind, letting her consciousness blur into the universe as she did once before on the Starkiller's snowy ridge.And there it is--the Force.It's a rush of peaceful calm that quiets her mind and allows everything else to recede.In the distant background, she is aware of Milo and Smath exchanging heated words but all Rey knows is the pulsing, vibrant swell of the Light.It soothes the mind, placates the soul and renews the body.

The general's eyes pop open.He's wearing a respirator, so he cannot speak.But his eyes speak his mute gratitude.Yes, this is working.

It takes a few moments, but Rey relaxes into his pain, letting it syphon off her and dissipate harmlessly into the Force.Already, this is getting easier.Rey closes her eyes to focus her concentration."Where is he hurt?" she asks. 

Smath answers, "He has electrical burns.The burned skin is fixable but the real damage is to his internal organs."

"Rey, you should not be doing this."It's Milo's voice at her side.But she ignores him.Just a few moments more.Rey can tell that she is helping.And while this is hard, something about it feels good.Satisfying. 

Rey is panting now with exertion.This level of concentration requires ultimate focus.How long has this been going on?Rey doesn't know, for her sense of time and place are lost.She knows can't hold it much longer.No, just a little bit longer.And now Rey has the sensation of drowning.She has dived headlong into the Light and surrendered to its power and now she cannot draw herself out.And as Rey continues to heal, she yields some of herself.And the life force of Rey ebbs little by little as the life force of her patient renews. 

"Stop her!" a low voice hisses. "She will kill herself!"

And now someone is grabbing at her, wrenching the general's hand from her grip."Stop it, girl!"Rey flails.She's half grabbing on for dear life and half resisting.Completely confused.Rey opens her eyes first to see the tall grey Muun bent over to peer closely at her.And she pushes him away, her palm connecting squarely with his forehead as he crowds her space.“Control!She must learn control!”Then Rey opens her eyes again to see the younger man from the woods.The one called Kylo Ren."Stop it, girl!Come back!"It's his voice commanding her.He intercepts one of her hands and clasps it tightly and it grounds her and her mind suddenly retreats from the Force.And as more physical sensation comes flooding back, Rey collapses from her efforts, her body depleted from the connection with the burned man.

The last thing Rey sees is Kylo Ren staring wondrously down at her.His dark eyes wide and intense like she remembers from the Starkiller woods.You need a teacher, he had told her back then.I can teach you the ways of the Force, he had offered.And all the while he had stared at her like a man who had glimpsed something forbidden that he hadn’t been meant to see.

This time, Rey doesn't know what prompts his same expression.For she does not see the grey man whose forehead she has touched.Before a mighty scar had marred his skull, the legacy of a long ago head splitting blow.But now where her palm had touched there is smooth grey skin.The bulk of the scar still remains, but it is partly erased now.By Rey and her healing Light.

"Master!" the Apprentice gasps out in disbelief as he reflexively catches Rey's swooning form.

Vaguely, she hears the Muun's very pleased response."Apprentice, you did not tell me that she is a prodigy."

* * *

 

Awareness floods Rey’s mind and with a jolt she is awake. She rolls over to discover that she is lying in a bed. A huge bed, wide and long and hung with sumptuous dark curtains as if fit for an ancient king.Rey lays there a moment, perversely thinking that this is the softest place she has ever slept in her life.Then she sits up near the edge of the bed and peers into the dim gloom.

Yet again, Rey has no idea where she is. What is it about the First Order that she keeps waking up in strange places?

There is a lamp on a large table off to one side of the room.A large figure sits with his back turned to Rey hunched over the table.He rises now and turns to face her.It is the Supreme Leader.

He moves slowly as he makes his way over to the bed.Gone is his heavy formal black robe with cowl and hood that had reminded Rey of the old pictures of Emperor Palpatine. This time she has discovered the Leader in private and at ease.The  grey-skinned Muun with the deformed face wears a robe trimmed with embroidery of strange red lettering. The robe hangs open and beneath it he is bare to the waist.And barefoot.

And now Rey realizes that his attire can mean only one thing.She’s in his bedroom.Laying on his bed.

Hastily, Rey reaches to tuck her legs under her. She covers them with the hospital gown she still wears.It helps a little to give her modesty, but Rey is still naked in a flimsy oversized nightgown.She is embarrassed.Rey feels a hot flush flood her cheeks.

The Leader stands over her, his shadowy features looking concerned.“Welcome back.How do you feel?”

Dazed, Rey thinks, like she has had a hard fall from a wreck on Jakku and she’s just now recovering from having the wind knocked out of her.But Rey is not going to admit that.Not to this man who makes her feel so vulnerable."I'm fine,” she tells him.Then adds a testy “thank you” as an afterthought.

The Leader raises one eyebrow, but does not dispute her claim."Force healing is very draining to the healer,” he tells her quietly.“You depleted yourself dangerously, my dear."

Rey nods.Something about his low voice puts her at ease.And he doesn’t sound angry."I didn't know.I had never done that before," she admits.

He reaches to cup her chin and lifts her face."You must be more careful.I would hate to lose you."His point made, he releases her and steps back further into the dim room.

"I don't know anything about the Force," Rey confesses. Even she can hear the frustration in her tone."I don't know what I'm doing."

He nods at her words."You need a teacher.If you let me, I will teach you."Leader Snoke speaks these words slowly, like a promise.

"No."Her reply is automatic, almost reflexive.For Rey doesn't want to learn about the Force from anyone named Darth.Or from the man who greenlighted the Starkiller.

But he is not deterred."You have a gift. It should not be wasted."Again, his voice is kind and patient.

And his approach lulls Rey into revealing the truth.She looks down as she whispers her fear."I don't want to be a killer like you."

"You could never be Sith.Rey," he says her name for the first time and she looks up.He has her attention now."You are the Light Side of the Force.I do not wish to dim your Light."

She looks away, confused.For his words and demeanor do not match the ruthless actions of the First Order."Kylo Ren hunted me . . . captured me . . . fought me.I watched him kill two of my friends . . . "

The Leader nods his sympathy."My Apprentice is not a temperate man.He can be rash.But I am not Kylo Ren."And now once more, he reaches for her face, stroking her cheek.“Do not be afraid of the Force.Do not be afraid of me.I do not intend to harm you.”

And staring up at his dark unfathomable eyes in this dim light, Rey says the words that form in her mind.“What do you want from me?”

He doesn’t answer.Instead he quickly sinks onto the bed behind her.It’s a fluid, quick motion for a man so obviously mangled.As Rey half turns around, wondering what this is about, she feels his hands on her shoulders.The hospital gown she wears is tied at the neck and then several more times down the back.Rey feels him tug the string at the nape of her neck.

Rey gasps at this unexpected move and she quickly reaches back to hold the fabric together.But he stays her hands, deliberately removing them."Let me see,” he commands.“Do not be shy.”Then he gathers her long hair over one shoulder.

“Don’t—“ Rey twists as she again feels him tug at another set of the tied strings.And then a third.The fabric separates to fall off her shoulders and Rey is quickly gathering it to her chest to cover herself.Uncaring now that her back is fully exposed to her waist.

She feels his hands stroke her shoulders and senses he is inspecting the healers’ work.“Better, much better.”He is pleased then.“The marks should continue to fade with time.”And now he runs a finger all the way down her prominent bony spine and Rey shudders at the intimate sensation.“We need to feed you, my dear,” he remarks softly.“You are far too slim.”His hands move to the sides of her bare torso, no doubt feeling her prominent ribs.And the pads of his fingers creep around and forward to tuck up under her small breasts.It’s all done before she can think to stop him.

And now Rey thinks she knows exactly what this man wants from her.

Of all the things that Rey has feared from the First Order—death, torture, imprisonment—this has never been on the list.But Rey of Jakku is valiant and she rallies to object.“S-Supreme Leader—“

“Darth Plagueis,” he corrects her mildly.“In private, Rey, you must always address me as your Sith.”

He takes the hint and slowly ties back together her hospital gown.And before he arranges her hair down her back, he leans forward to place a single kiss at the nape of her neck.Then he rises to his feet and bids her goodnight.“Go to sleep, my dear.You need your rest.”

“Here?” Rey looks to him incredulous.“With you?”

“Oh, I do not sleep,” he assures her.“I have not slept in more than a century, Rey.At night, I meditate and study the Force.”He smiles down at her and his ruined gargoyle face is especially strange in the half light.“You will sleep alone, my dear.Unless, of course, you would prefer my company.Will you let me sleep with you?”He reaches down to twirl a lock of long brown hair around one finger.“May I join you?”

Did she hear correctly?Rey sucks in a quick breath and then exhales her response, “No.No, please, no.”

“Very well then.Not tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see a lot more hits on this story than i would have expected, so I suspect that there are some Reylo readers who found this fic and who are not familiar with my other stories or my writing style and themes. So let this serve as a general caveat for readers that my writing can be challenging (maybe at times frustrating or disappointing for some) to read. I do not write explicit sex or violence, but my other stories have plot twists, themes and relationships that have upset and angered people in the past. I'm not into shocking readers. That is never my goal. But things are not always happy in my Sith AU. I write the Dark Side and those relationships are not always healthy. 
> 
> Having said that, I don't anticipate that this fic will veer into the super-Dark territory of Fulcrum/ Fulcrum Part Two with its multiple betrayals, deaths and other ugly elements. I need a break from all that. And I will continue to update the story tags and to include warnings as/if appropriate
> 
> Also, please note that My Sith AU Snoke character is different than the way he is typically depicted by other authors. Whether he is the prequel era mastermind control freak semi-celebrity of Fifth Wife and Red or the reclusive, reflective and more laid back but no less ruthless version of A New Hope, Fulcrum and Fulcrum Part Two, the man is a Dark Sith.


	4. Chapter 4

Sith training is an on again, off again task for a Master and an Apprentice whose lives are perpetually at war.  For per necessity, there are frequent interruptions.

 

This is not typical of the Sith.  Darth Sidious had been trained over a ten-year period on Mygeeto before he was turned loose to scuttle the Old Republic.  Darth Maul had been trained since early childhood to be an efficient fighting machine.  But Kylo Ren is now fifteen years an Apprentice and still half-trained in the ways of the Shadow Force.  And though he is in constant contact with his Master, it has been several years since Kylo has engaged in serious training.  So now that the opportunity has arisen once again, both teacher and student dedicate themselves to the task. 

 

It has the predictable result:  pain. 

 

And this time, his Master does not force Kylo to suffer through it.  For, as it turns out, Darth Plagueis is training another student as well. 

 

Partway through their first training session one afternoon, Milo interrupts with a visitor.  It’s the scavenger girl.  And she looks like she’s wearing Milo’s clothes.

 

“Welcome.”  Snoke waves her forward into the cavernous training room and then favors her with a courtly bow.  They are deep underground his Master’s stronghold in the private level that is Darth Plagueis’ lair.   Down here are his Master’s quarters, his beloved library, his laboratory, his office and a large training room.  This is the domain of the Sith, and there are no lurkers about other than Milo and the captive Resistance girl.   First Order uniforms are seldom seen in these exclusive areas, for ingress and egress requires the highest level of permission:  access to this entire level is locked with the Force. 

 

“My Apprentice has had a mishap with a saber.”  Snoke gestures to the deep scorch mark on Kylo’s right forearm.   It’s visible because he is out of his uniform and mask.  Kylo trains in a simple black t-shirt and pants.  “Heal him.”

 

The girl looks at the mark and then at him. 

 

“No.”  She flat out refuses.   “I'm not healing that monster.”  Kylo can’t hide his shock at this reply.  The scavenger girl is actually refusing a request from Supreme Leader Snoke.  What’s more, she has the brazenness to be indignant about it.  “Why should I?”

 

His Master is in a good mood today, for he enjoys teaching.  And, really, given the Starkiller disaster, Snoke has been surprisingly even-tempered of late.  And so he is patient with this wretched Resistance girl. 

 

“Apprentice,” the Muun chuckles in that grave way of his as he raises one eyebrow.  “It seems that you have made a bad first impression.  And here I thought the Light was merciful.”

 

The girl does not take the hint.  She maintains her obstinate posture scowling up at him.   Her head cocked to the side, and her chin lifted.   Yes, this girl definitely reminds him of Leia Organa.

 

“This is not a request, my dear,” Snoke informs her mildly.  “Do it.”

 

The foolish scavenger must not realize how rare second chances are from Snoke.  She doubles down on her refusal.  “No.” 

 

His Master responds with a flourish of his graceful Muun fingers that shoots a single bolt of Force lightning off to the side.  Yes, his Master is in a very good mood today.  Normally, his demonstrations of power are not of the harmless variety.   This girl probably has no idea how much mercy she is being shown today.  “Do not force me to punish you, my dear,” Snoke drawls slowly, the menace in his words and not in his quiet tone.  “Neither of us would enjoy that.”

 

The lightning and the warning have the desired effect.  The girl musters a shaky concentration and heals the saber graze with the Force.  Snoke stands over her to watch, then inspects the results.  They are not perfect, and Kylo will still need a bacta patch to fully erase the mark, but the girl has talent.  There’s no denying it. 

 

And, oh, Kylo thinks to himself.  Her Light had felt so good.  So good.  He glances up to catch a fleeting knowing glance from the Muun.  His Master had seen how much he had enjoyed that.  It is humiliating.

 

But the Muun makes no comment.  His Master simply nods his satisfaction to the girl.  “My dear, there is only one question for which you may answer no.  And even then, my patience will have its limits.”

 

Kylo watches as Rey pales visibly.  And remembering his Master kissing this girl awake, he thinks he knows the question.  And for a moment, he feels sorry for her.

 

Snoke is a veritable professor of the Dark Side, but this time Kylo’s training sessions keep coming back to dueling techniques.  They both know it's only a matter of time before his uncle is flushed out of hiding.  And thanks to his Master poking around in Rey's memories while she lay asleep and unaware, they have the map to the Last Jedi's place of exile on Ahch-To.  But even though Kylo had been ready to set out to face his uncle, Snoke had sternly forbade it. 

 

As usual, Darth Plagueis had been brutally honest.  "I won't send you there to be slaughtered.  I have invested too much time in you for such a foolhardy risk.  If the untrained scavenger girl can best you in a duel, then you are no match for the Jedi. Your skills are lacking, Apprentice."

 

And Kylo has to admit to this truth.  All Sith are a product of their times, Snoke has taught him.  And so the Sith of the Late Republic and the Empire had perfected the art of dueling in regular combat against the Jedi.  His grandfather had dueled Tyranus in the Clone Wars on multiple occasions, as had Kenobi met Maul.  And Vader had spent years hunting down Jedi after the Purge.  But Kylo?  He uses his saber mostly in combat raids against blaster fire.  And save his uncle, there are no saber wielding enemies for Kylo to polish his skills on.  He had never actually crossed swords with a true enemy until Rey.  And then he had been soundly defeated. 

 

And though Kylo likes to think that he will meet his uncle on his own terms at a time and place of his own choosing, he knows that is unlikely to be the case.  Especially in the aftermath of the death of Han Solo.  His father had been his uncle's closest friend for decades until that night the teenaged Ben Solo had slaughtered his classmates at the Jedi Academy.  And while seeking revenge is not the Jedi way, Kylo has no illusions that between killing his father and destroying the Hosnia System, Luke Skywalker is anything but very, very angry. 

 

And, well, there is a fine line between justice and vengeance. 

 

So, yes, saber skills are the focus of his training.  And Snoke is a very good teacher.  For while Kylo has rarely seen his decrepit Master wield a sword, Plagueis has extensive knowledge of even obscure lightsaber combat forms.  And sabers too.  The Muun likes the archaic crossguard Sith saber Kylo favors, but he also knows the modern single blade and the double bladed saberstaff too.  His Master has a large cache of weapons amassed over the years and so Kylo simply chooses a similar replacement for the saber Rey had destroyed. 

 

Bits and pieces of his mentor's past dribble out during his instruction.  Recollections of prior duels, assessments of past opponents, tips on how to get out of a tight spot, and strategies for when to use Force tricks in a duel.  It's an ever-shifting murky mosaic of information from which there can be only one conclusion:  through the years, Darth Plagueis the Wise has crossed swords with more than a few opponents.  Including, Kylo increasingly suspects, Luke Skywalker. 

 

No matter how powerful you become in the Force, saber skills matter, Snoke schools Kylo. Even Yoda was known to duel with the Sith.  His Master cautions that there is no such thing as a Sith who can't swing a sword.  Because those Sith are dead Sith.

 

All this saber work has the predictable result:  more injuries.  And that means more Rey. 

 

When Kylo next sees her, she’s a completely different person.  The haphazard ponytail and Milo’s old clothes are gone.  The young woman who heals the blistering saber graze on his right shoulder wears a long-sleeved pale blue dress.  Her hair is expertly arranged in shiny waves that tumble over her shoulders.  She’s wearing makeup and her fingernails are painted pale pink.  All in all, this Rey is the furthest thing from the grimy desert rat he had captured on Takodana. 

 

As she leans over him to inspect his shoulder, he breathes in her faint perfume.  She smells like flowers and vanilla.  Like beauty mixed with warm comforting things.  And then she concentrates and her healing Light Side power washes over his mind.  The sight of her, the smell of her and the feel of her power are just perfect.  And for those brief few seconds of interaction, all is right in the universe as far as Kylo Ren is concerned.  Because Rey and her Light are here to make it all better.  Her Light balances his Darkness and there is harmony.

 

Day after day, he sees her.  Slowly, she begins to thaw a bit towards him.  Even greeting him with a ghost of a smile sometimes.   But the progression is halting.  Two steps forward, one step back.  It helps that Snoke no longer stands over her watching.  And more and more, the pattern becomes for Rey to heal him at the end of his daily training session.  Sometimes, there are multiple wounds and she spends twenty or thirty minutes alone in his company.  At first, their interaction is politely distant.  Businesslike and formal.  But it too begins to thaw slowly and Rey lets down her guard. 

 

She probably still hates him, he knows.  But now she also feels the tiniest bit sorry for him.

 

“Why do you do this?” she asks one day as she leans over him sitting on the ground.  “Why do you want to train to be a Sith?”  The question catches him off-guard, for he had been admiring her profile at the time.

 

He thinks a moment.  “I have a long answer to that question, Rey.  But the short answer is power.  My family is born to rule the galaxy.  It is my duty and my birthright.”

 

“Who is your family?” she asks, clearly curious.

 

“I am a Skywalker,” he tells her proudly.  And it’s a secret few are privy to.  Why he is moved to tell this Resistance girl the truth is anyone’s guess.  But he’s glad he tells her.  She’s a Force-user, he’s a Force-user.  It seems right to have this out in the open.   Plus, his Master had said transparency would help to earn her trust.

 

“You’re a Skywalker?” Rey breathes out the famous name in near awe.  “Skywalker as in Luke Skywalker?”  Her eyes are shining up at him and her face is soft and luminous.  Childlike in her obvious hero worship of his uncle. 

 

“Yes, Rey.”  He says her name aloud for the first time and it feels good on his lips.  He’s begun to think of her as Rey now and not just ‘the girl’ or ‘the scavenger.’   “I am a Skywalker.  Like my mother, my grandfather and my great-grandmother before me.”

 

Her eyes narrow.  She looks dubious.  “But isn’t Luke Skywalker the Jedi who brought down the Empire?  Who killed the Emperor and Darth Vader?”

 

“Yes,” Kylo confirms since that is close enough to the truth.  And then he tells her solemnly, “The Force is strong in my family.  We Skywalkers have been both Jedi and Sith.  But no matter which side we choose, we matter.”

 

“Oh,” Rey says in a small voice.  “I never had a family.  And I have never mattered.”  She looks sheepish now and her next words are barely a whisper as she shrugs.  “I’m no one.”

 

It’s the first time he has ever seen this fierce girl uncertain of herself.  And it prompts him to rally her.  “Rey,” he catches her eye to give her a level look.  “You can heal with the Force.  If for that reason alone, you are not no one.”  His words provoke the first genuine smile he’s seen from her.  And it occurs to him that her smile might just be as dazzling as her Light.

 

It quickly becomes Rey’s habit to greet him with a question when she comes to heal him.   And these are not the commonplace inquiries of inane small talk.  Rey is direct.  These are premeditated, probing asks.  At first, her questions annoy him.  Kylo is not used to be on the receiving end of an interrogation unless it's from his Master.  But he comes to look forward to what Rey will surprise him with each time they meet.

 

He clearly intrigues her.  And that in turn intrigues him.  Kylo is used to people being frightened of him.  Not being interested in him.   And so, to honor her bravery, he keeps telling her the truth.  Even a few truths that would make Hux gape in disbelief.

 

_Is your name really Ben?_

_Yes._

 

_Then why are you called Kylo Ren?_

_It is tradition for a Sith to take on a new name when he is initiated into Darkness._

_Why aren't you Darth Ren?  Like Darth Vader?_

_Darth is the formal title of a Sith Lord.  You have to earn it.  When I finally complete my training, I will receive my title._

_Is that when you stop being an Apprentice?_

_No, I will always be the Apprentice.  Darth Plagueis will always be my Master._

_Oh._

 

There are no non-material conversations with Rey, he learns.  And perhaps that's a legacy of this abandoned girl's upbringing, he thinks.  For he remembers how solitary her life has been up until she found the droid.  She's probably never spoken at length to anyone.  Kylo is not much of a talker himself, so he understands.  He might be an emotional Sith, but he does not vent his emotions with words.  Usually, he does it with violence.

 

Her matter of fact demeanor is not eager to please, and Kylo likes that too.  Hux might surround himself with suck ups that fawn over his words, but Kylo needs no such ego stroking. He's a Sith so he can face the truth in all things, including himself.  And having people dislike you comes with the territory.  He doesn’t take rejection personally.  Other people’s fear is a testament to his power. 

 

Plus, this girl has quiet confidence.  That too appeals.  His terrorist-turned-politician-turned-general mother has a confrontational streak that is tiresome.  And so argumentative women have long been a turn-off for Kylo Ren as a result.  But that doesn’t mean he likes his girls meek.

 

_You knew Han Solo before you killed him, didn't you?   You talked about him on the Starkiller.   He wasn't just an ordinary Resistance fighter._

_Yes._

_How did you know him?_

_He was my father._

 

_Your father??  You killed your own father?  Why?_

_He deserved it._

_I liked Han Solo.   You were lucky enough to have him as a father and you killed him?  You really are a monster._

_You don't know my family.   Killing each other is what we do._

 

Every time he sees her now, Rey is dressed like a cross between a holonet actress ingénue and a princess.  She's a lovely mix of fresh and pretty meets poised and regal.  It is so jarring to see the warrior girl who had marked his face and bared her teeth at him looking so feminine.  But he has to admit that her newfound beauty and her Light have become the bright spot in his day.

 

Rey’s girly makeover smacks of Darth Plagueis, for Kylo knows that the wily Sith likes nothing more than to transform and to mold a person.  So the gangly runaway Jedi padawan becomes the galaxy's masked and feared warrior.  And the ragamuffin desert throwaway becomes a beguiling princess of the Light.  There is always much more than meets the eye where Snoke is concerned.  His Master delights in these sorts of secret ironies. 

 

  _Are you the young boy who destroyed it all?  Han Solo said that Luke Skywalker was training a new generation of Jedi and one boy turned against him and destroyed it all.  Was that you?_

_Yes._

_Why?_

_I was a terrible Jedi._

_Obviously._

 

Two can play at this game, and so Kylo begins to ask his own questions.  He might have briefly seen into this girl's mind, but he doesn't really know her.  And if she is going to pry out his secrets, he will return the favor in kind.  He’s a bit curious now and she doesn’t seem to mind.

 

_What do you do all day?_

 

_Mostly, I read the First Order propaganda and the history books Milo gives me.  I, uh, don’t have a lot of formal education._

_What else?_

_I eat lunch with Milo.  I have terrible table manners apparently.  Milo tells me I can't eat dinner with the Supreme Leader until they improve._

_Which is why they remain hopelessly terrible, right?_

 

_How did you guess?_

_Milo is sharp.  He's not fooled._

_Yes, I know._

 

As the Apprentice, Kylo interacts with his Master in a way few others do.  And now Rey has entered into that select group.  Rey’s training seems to be one part finishing school and remedial education with Milo, and one part Force training with Snoke.  But still, she is the closest thing to an equal that Kylo has encountered in many long years. 

 

Maybe he should be jealous of Rey, but he doesn’t mind having her around.  For living in close quarters, he cannot help but notice her Light shining out at his mind's eye even when she’s not healing.  This woman’s Force imprint is enormous, he thinks.  And when he sees her in person, it’s like a halo around an angel.  Winking at him with a quiet come hither lure.  While of course he resists, it's comforting just to know it is there.   

 

_Are you going to try to escape?_

_I already have._

_Did he catch you?_

_Milo did. He caught me trying to hotwire a door._

 

_They are all locked with the Force. You can't bypass that mechanically._

_Yes, I know that now._

_What did Snoke do?_

_He said that if I could break the Force lock, I was free to go._

_You'll never do it.  They are locked with a Dark Side spell.  A Jedi can’t break that._

_I'm still trying._

_Where would you go if you escaped?_

_I don’t know._

_You wouldn’t go running back to the Resistance?_

_I don’t know.  Maybe._

Sith training is a grueling ordeal, designed to wear you down.  And so injuries tend to increase over time.  A body pushed beyond its limits does not bounce back to full strength, and neither does a mind overtaxed with concentration.  And with extreme fatigue, both Kylo’s reflexes and his accuracy dim.

 

“You are sloppy tonight,” Snoke observes with distaste.  “You can do better.”

 

Kylo looks over the pile of twenty training droids that he has run through in the past hour.  It would be an impressive tally for all but the stickler Darth Plagueis.  Kylo has a nasty blaster graze across his midsection to show for all this carnage.  He hadn’t been able to freeze the blaster shot in time so he had turned to the side to take a glancing hit rather than absorb the full energy of the shot.

 

“Go,” his irritated Master waves him away dismissively.  “Go and find the girl.  Get her to heal you.”  And then his Master heads off for his office, probably to start the day.  They have trained overnight this time and it is almost morning.  But night and day have very little meaning to his Master since he does not sleep.

 

Where is Rey?  After wandering around practically every room, Kylo finally follows her Force imprint to find her.  She’s asleep on his Master's colossal bed.  The sight arrests him, for Rey is beautiful lying there in quiet slumber.  She is the Flaming June curled up and lost in dreams, her pink negligee flowing and enticingly sheer.  All her dusky tresses spread about her head and spilling off the pillow.  She looks so young, he sees, and so innocent.  Relaxed in sleep with her lips slightly parted.  Waiting here for the Master of Evil, for the most powerful Sith ever to live, to return to the bed he doesn’t sleep in and no doubt claim her for his own. 

 

Until now, Kylo hadn't given any thought to where Rey sleeps.  But now he knows unequivocally that Rey sleeps with the Devil, that she is the Light seduced by Darkness, a modern day Persephone trapped in the Underworld lair of Darth Plagueis the Wise. 

 

It is a time-honored tradition that to the victor go the spoils of war.  But standing here, confronted with the truth of the situation, is uncomfortable.  For something about the way this girl has been treated makes Kylo feel ashamed. 

 

For Kylo had been the one to insist that Hux put her onboard the Starkiller shuttle to be delivered into the greedy hands of the Quasimodo Sith.  He had assumed that his Master would simply kill her. And, really, she would have died on the Starkiller anyway.  But he had never expected this.  In fifteen years, he has never known his Master to keep a woman. 

 

Is hers a fate worse than death?  Surely not. The girl is fed and clothed and treated better than any First Order prisoner has been.  But still . . . this bothers him.  

 

Maybe it shouldn't.  He's a Sith Apprentice and he has no illusions about the lengths his Master will go to for the cause of ruling the galaxy.  For power is everything to a Sith.  But this untrained girl doesn’t stand in the way of their ambitions.  Yes, he understands that his Master keeps her alive to develop and use her healing powers.   It makes sense to keep her in a prison cell.  But this . . . this doesn’t make sense to him.  And it seems uncharacteristically gratuitous for old Darth Plagueis.   But, apparently, there is special satisfaction in debauching the Light.

 

Whatever else this orphan scavenger girl is, she is innocent.  She took pity on a lost droid and tried to return it to its owner.  And in the process, she ended up at the center of a galactic civil war. It's a story not unlike his uncle's tale from decades past.  Only the Last Jedi hidden on Tatooine had been a Skywalker waiting to be called to his destiny.  But Rey?  She is just a girl.  A hard scrabble survivor.   She had said it herself--she is no one.

 

A no one with the Force who can heal with a touch.

 

A no one his Master coveted enough to meet her shuttle on the landing platform.

 

A no one his Master has laid claim to in no uncertain terms. 

 

Yes, she's a potential enemy Skywalker might train.  And yes, she had taken up arms against him but only after he had hunted her and later killed her friends.  Kylo been the aggressor all along.  His Master had determined that Rey was not a threat, so he let her live.  And this, then, must be part of why she lives.  So she can warm the bed of Supreme Leader Snoke. 

 

Kylo wrinkles his face in distaste.  He can’t shake the feeling that there’s something here he doesn’t understand.

 

He stares at her minutes longer.  Unwilling to disturb her.  Then he turns and walks out.  He'll find a bacta patch tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last chapter for a few days since it's Thanksgiving next week in the USA and we are traveling.


	5. Chapter 5

Rey’s table manners must now pass muster with Milo, because she is dining tonight with the Supreme Leader.  Milo had been casual about it, but all the lead up to this event tells her it is important.  Well, that and Milo encouraging her to go back to the grooming droid for a touch up before dinner.  Look your best, the old servant had told her with his grandfatherly smile.  And now, Rey is really nervous. 

 

She is being exceptionally well treated for a prisoner.  But Rey is deeply suspicious about why she is being dressed up like a doll in expensive flowy dresses.  She doesn’t want to be some new plaything for the Leader.  She already knows that she is his latest project. 

 

On Jakku, Rey had never placed much emphasis on appearance.  She had been too concerned with daily survival.  But now, looking pretty has become of paramount importance.  And it’s what Rey does all day.  She looks pretty while she learns the Force, she looks pretty while she eats lunch with Milo, she looks pretty while she heals Kylo Ren’s latest training injury, and she looks pretty while she reads First Order propaganda.   Truly, her life here is lightyears away from her existence on Jakku. 

 

At first it was fun to sit for an hour with the grooming droid as it arranged her hair and painted her face.  Afterwards, Rey would stare at herself in the mirror, mentally comparing herself to the heroines she used to watch on the holonet shows.  But the novelty of playing dress up in colorful gowns and taking daily showers has worn off now.  And Rey gets impatient with getting her fingernails painted and her hair curled.  Beauty, she realizes, is a chore. 

 

She stands awkwardly now before the Supreme Leader for inspection.  Dressed in a deep green long dress with a very wide scoop neck.  Her hair is pulled back from her face, but it lays about her shoulders in a riotous tumble of curls.  She probably has too much lip gloss on and perhaps too much perfume.  But she knows that she looks good.

 

It’s unsettling, actually.  For the beautiful girl who stares back at her from the mirror may look like Rey, but she is not Rey.  Rey of Jakku is a scavenger who worries over hydration tablets.  She’s a mechanic who has grease and sand under her fingernails.  She’s a woman who endures and survives on her own terms.  Rey of Jakku is independent per necessity, for she is mostly alone. 

 

So who is this cossetted looking, eager to please woman staring back at her in the mirror?   She’s an imposter in a costume from her fairy godmother Milo.  And one day, at the stroke of midnight this will all disappear.  Best case, she’ll be back home in her AT-AT and worst case she’ll be dead.  So Rey is not about to get used to this sort of life.  She won’t be lulled into letting her guard down.

 

And, truthfully, she doesn’t think she will ever get used to the creepy Muun with the half-rotted face. 

 

“Welcome, my dear.”  The Supreme Leader favors her with a courtly bow.  Darth Plagueis is unfailingly formal, and he treats Rey like she’s fragile.  Like she needs to be looked after for her own protection.  It is a far cry from the way men have treated her in the past.   Maybe she ought to like all this attention, but she doesn’t.  “How pleased I am to see you looking so well.” He’s positively leering at her, but Rey doesn’t react. 

 

Dinner is a stilted affair, as Rey worries over which fork to use and the voice of Milo in her head reminds Rey to sit up straight and keep her elbows off the table.  She picks at her food.  Elaborate, rich food overwhelms her taste palate dulled from so many years of rations.  Rations are eaten for sustenance, and not for pleasure.  Although, Rey muses to herself, she could really go for a blue protein muffin and some water right now.  For anything plain and familiar from back home.   

 

The dinner conversation is even more difficult to manage than the food.  For what exactly do you say to the Supreme Leader of the First Order?  _Did you kill anyone today?  How’s that new Starkiller coming?   So . . . did you find the Resistance base yet?_ Rey is not bold enough to ask the sorts of questions to the Leader that she asks of Kylo Ren.  Maybe it’s because Rey once bested Kylo Ren in interrogation and then again in the Starkiller woods, but something about the younger Sith emboldens her.  They have a weird sort of comfort level with one another.  So Rey can ask him anything.   Not so with the Supreme Leader.  There is plenty she would like to ask him.  But Rey doesn’t dare. _How did you get all those scars on your face?  When can I go home?_   _What’s so great about the Dark Side anyway?_  

 

Plus, Rey is solitary from long habit.  She lacks simpering feminine charm because she is direct in all things.  And she lacks wit because there was never anything to joke about on Jakku.   Generally, she speaks when she has something to say or something to ask.  So the only common ground she has to discuss with the Supreme Leader is the Force.  And, luckily, it is his favorite topic.  Rey learns to ask a few questions and that will get him going and she can sit back and listen to him ramble on. 

 

“You have a powerful connection to the Force,” he tells her.  “Powerful like a Skywalker.”  Rey is surprised to see that he considers this to be high praise indeed.  She had thought that the First Order wanted to kill Luke Skywalker.   But whatever.  Soon, the Leader is back to lecturing her.  “You must learn control.   Without control, you will lose yourself in the Force and you risk harming yourself when you heal.”

 

“Like with General Hux?”

 

“Yes.”

 

He gestures to his forehead, to the mighty interrupted scar from his long-ago split skull.  “Look upon this.  See what you can do.  When you were completely immersed in the Force, drowning in it, you could heal a wound a century old with just a glancing touch.  This is the power that one day you will command at will, Rey.  But it is dangerous to tap into that power until you can control it.” 

 

He continues on this theme.  “Long ago, the Jedi taught that the Dark Side of the Force would consume you if you let it.  That the Shadow Side is self-destructive because connecting with the Force through emotion is a form of narcissism.   The self feeds off the self for power and ultimately depletes the self.  That’s an overly simplistic summary, but there is some truth to it.  Darkness is dangerous.  It will take and take and take until there is no more to be had.”

 

Rey has no idea if Snoke is telling her the truth.  But he seems sincere and he loves to teach.  So she listens closely. 

 

“The Light too has its risks.  If you blur the boundaries of your mind to connect to the universal Force, you risk losing your distinct person in the process.   When you let go of your conscious self and let the Force flow through you, you risk being swept away in the tide that follows.  It is a particular risk with healers and seers.    For there is something so giving and selfless in those talents, that they can overwhelm you.  Even the Light can give too much, Rey.  If you are not careful, you could give it all.” 

 

“So the Light and Dark are different?”  Maybe this is a stupid question, but Rey knows so little of the mysterious Force. 

 

"The Force is the Force.  The Light and the Dark are convenient constructs to shorthand our differences.  You and I connect to the Force in different ways and for different uses, but it's still the same Force."

 

Rey nods as she struggles to understand what all this Light versus Dark means if the Force is all the same.  Aren’t the Sith supposed to be the enemies of the Jedi?

 

Snoke must guess what she’s thinking because he continues, "I had a Jedi wife years ago, so I understand the Light.  It has its rightful place in the universe. I will not seek to dim your Light.  I value it.  For without the Light, there can be no balance in the Force."  He smiles approvingly at her.  “You, my dear, will one day be my balance.”

 

Rey is confused.  "But I thought the First Order hated the Jedi.  Don't you want to kill Luke Skywalker?"

 

At the mention of the Last Jedi’s name, Darth Plagueis’ face hardens.  And so too his tone.  "The Jedi are relentless.  They are obsessed with dogma and limitations.  Skywalker is a terrorist zealot who insists on forcing his views on the whole galaxy.  He brought down the Empire and we have suffered through thirty years of unending war as a result.” 

 

Rey is taken aback by his sudden vehemence.  It’s as if his cordial mask has slipped and Rey can see the mastermind of the First Order beneath.  She blinks and the smooth Muun shifts back to mansplaining the Force to her.  “My enemy is the Jedi, not the Light.  One can wield the Light and not be a Jedi.”  He leans forward in his chair now and he has her full attention.  “Rey, look at me.  I will never limit how you use the Force.  There are no rules for people like us.  No rules,” he repeats.

 

Can you really use the Force and not be Jedi or Sith?  Maybe.  Rey thinks of old Maz Kanata who had not been a Jedi but who had claimed to know the Force.  Rey wonders where Maz had learned her knowledge.  And Rey wonders what it means to learn the Light from a Dark Sith.    This Force stuff is all so vague and new.  Rey feels very much out of her depth. 

 

The Muun sees her hesitation and doubt.  And he is patient with it. “You do not yet realize your importance.  In time, you will learn to embrace your power and take your rightful place at my side.”

 

“What happened to your Jedi wife?”  Rey blurts out.  “Did you kill her?”  Those words come out of Rey’s mouth before she can stop them and she colors with embarrassment at the gaffe.

 

Luckily, Darth Plagueis doesn’t seem to take offense.  “No, I did not kill Shan.  My Apprentice murdered her in her sleep, along with our adolescent son.”

 

“Oh.”  Rey's eyes widen.  Kylo Ren did that?   How horrible.

 

"It was my prior Apprentice, not Kylo Ren.  Darth Sidious was his name.  He was better known to the galaxy as Emperor Palpatine." 

 

“Oh.”  This cagey Muun is full of secrets and surprises, Rey realizes.  And how old is this guy?

 

He twirls his wine glass now as he considers Rey.  "You remind me of Shan when I first met her.  Before I saw my Jedi wife, I felt her Light in the Force.  And then I saw her beauty and I knew her charm and I was drawn to her.  Like the moth to the flame.  Dark and Light coexist, Rey.  And sometimes they attract as strongly as other times when they repel.  That how it was with my Shan.”  He looks away in an unguarded moment and Rey catches a fleeting plaintive cast to his features.  It washes over him and is gone in an instant.    

 

He is back to teaching now.  “You master control of the Force by using it.  So from now on, Rey, you will accomplish even menial tasks with the Force.   Start now,” he commands.  “Pour me a glass of wine.  With the Force.”

 

She complies.  But it’s trickier than it looks and takes her a good two minutes from start to finish. 

 

“Good.  Good,” he purrs out his approval.  “Now pass the glass to me.”

 

This task is far easier.  When he accepts the glass, Snoke tips it in her direction in a small salute and then drinks his fill.   

 

“Now pour yourself glass,” he instructs.   And it’s not any easier this time around. Just as the wine begins to pour, the glass topples and breaks.  The bottle falls to the table and Rey jumps up to right it.  But a small amount has spilled and she busies herself blotting it up with a napkin.  Oh dear, she thinks, Milo would not approve.  And as she gathers the broken glass into a small pile, Rey makes a face.  “I have never tasted wine before,” she grumbles.  “I was looking forward to tasting it.” 

 

“Then come,” he gestures her over to him and he offers her his own glass.  “Take a drink.”

 

She does.  Wine tastes sweet and sour and musty and sharp all at once.  Rey has never tasted anything like it.  It’s so complex and multi-layered.   Like a puzzle of flavors.

 

“Go on,” he urges her.  And she needs no hesitation.  Rey keeps drinking.  She’s not quite gulping it down, but the glass disappears quickly. 

 

And now Darth Plagueis is sporting a grin. He leans towards her and accepts the empty glass.  “I am glad that you enjoy it.  Wine is one of the great pleasures of life, Rey.”  He reaches up to twine a finger through one of her trailing curls.  He likes her hair down, she’s noticed.  And that’s very different from what she’s used to and so impractical.  Just like all the fancy dresses Milo brings her to wear. “Your prior life was very bleak,” he tells her.  “I will remedy that, my dear.  Come.  Try again.  Every glass you pour with the Force, I will let you drink.”

 

Now that is a challenge Rey cannot turn down.  The next time she again succeeds.  But after downing her second glass, the concentration needed to pour a third is beyond Rey.  But she’s trying gamely as she stands by Snoke’s chair.  And then she sways.  Thanks to her meager dinner, the two quick glasses of wine have gone right to Rey’s head.  She’s tipsy.  She sways again and Snoke reaches his hands about her waist and pulls her down.  Suddenly she’s in his lap.  And instantly, she is alarmed at this intimacy.  But the surprised Rey is wary to resist the monster’s touch. 

 

“Rey, you are awakened to the Force.” He whispers his words into her ear as he looks down on her.  And being this close to him only makes his grotesque face even more off-putting.   The left side in particular is hard to look at.  “When you have healed me, I will awaken you to the ultimate pleasure,” he promises.   Rey frowns and tries to pull away to stand, but she is locked in long, surprisingly strong arms.  “Never shy from me, for my intentions are honorable.  I will take you to my temple and we will slash hands in the moonlight and pledge forever.  Then I will make you a woman on the ritual table like I did my Shan long ago.  I will let you feel my power and you will give me your Light and we will have balance.  Your Light and my Darkness.”

 

“N-No—“ she cringes away from the lips that nuzzle at her neck now, dropping small kisses along her jawline.

 

But still he persists.  “One day, you will make me whole again.”  He’s got a hand on the back of her neck now, entwined in her hair and holding Rey firmly in place.  But still, she squirms.  “But for now, I can please you in other ways.”  His large hand splays about her chest now.  Massaging her small breasts through her dress.  Rey closes her eyes as if to block out his unwanted touch.  “Let me sleep with you, Rey.  Let me see your Light.” 

 

“No.  No, please, no.” Rey isn’t exactly sure what he is telling her, but she is sure that she doesn’t want it.  She hates when this ugly old Muun paws at her. 

 

“Very well then.”  He loosens his grip and instantly Rey leaps up and back.  He’s not offended by this reaction, she sees.  More like amused.  Like he’s toying with her.  “Not tonight.  But soon.”

 

It’s a scene they replay over and over.  _May I sleep with you?_   Rey has a date with the devil in his mancave most every night and it ends when the Supreme Leader asks her some version of this question.  Every night she declines.  It’s a bit like a game, she thinks.  He can’t possibly be expecting her to say yes.  But he gracefully accepts her rejection each time.  Because in this game, the ultimate outcome is certain.  So old Darth Plagueis is enjoying the lead up.  Prolonging the fun.  Then he leaves her alone to sleep in his giant, empty bed while he disappears to his library or his laboratory to study the Force.

 

It’s all very perplexing.  If he notices how tense and nervous she is, Snoke does not comment upon it.  But perhaps he thinks this reaction his due.  Still, their repeated interactions don’t seem to make things any easier with the Muun the way they have with Kylo Ren.   Rey doesn’t think she will ever get used to the creepy Muun.  Most of the time, he is off doing whatever the Supreme Leader does.  Probably killing people, she thinks.  So their interaction is limited to these quiet intimate dinners. She keeps him talking of the Force and he has her levitating bread rolls until he makes a pass at her.  Rey endures a few kisses and gropes before she turns him down.  And they do it all again the next night. 

 

She does not want to anger Snoke.  Not after she has seen the Starkiller general punished and in agony in the infirmary.  And not after she has seen the Leader shoot blue lightning from his fingertips.  So if Rey has to tolerate his leers and his wandering hands, she will.  But she draws the line there.  Rey is not about to go to bed with this repulsive evil Muun.   At least, not willingly.

 

She takes comfort in the knowledge that he wants her to heal him, for at least that gives her some leverage.  He’s not going to kill her, at least not yet.  He needs her help.  

 

Routines form quickly, even here in Darth Plagueis’ lair.  So it's a day like any other day when yet again Rey has been summoned to heal another of the Apprentice's injuries.  This one is on his chest and so his shirt is off.  Kylo Ren has a warrior’s body chiseled to lean, sinewy perfection.  But Rey is determined not to admire it.  So she starts talking, as is their habit.  Rey has another question for him, but this one has some lead up.

 

  _I saw you in a vision before I met you in the woods._

_What did you see?_

_You killing people.  With your knights._

_Anything else?_

_You killed someone who looked like they were going to kill me._

_So I saved you?_

_I'm not sure.  It was confusing._

_When did you have this vision?_

_When I first touched that lightsaber.  Only the first time.  What does that mean?_

_I don’t know.  Force visions are notoriously misleading and confusing._

_Oh._

 

Since he doesn’t have the answers she is seeking, Rey gets down to the work of healing.  She frowns now at the remnants of another blaster burn she has spotted across his midsection.  She didn't heal this.  And it looks fairly fresh.  Maybe a week old?  Looking closer as she resolutely ignores his impressive abs, Rey sees the telltale traces of pink bacta plasma.  She wonders why he hadn’t asked her to heal this.  Well, whatever.  She will heal it up today.  

 

With all the Force she uses for everyday tasks, her healing is getting easier now.  More effective and quicker.  The Supreme Leader had been correct that the Force is like a muscle.  The more you use it, the stronger you get. 

 

"Rey." She looks up in surprise as the Apprentice says her name.  He has an odd tone to his voice.  Sort of tentative.  "Rey, does he hurt you?  Does he force you?"

 

The 'he' needs no explanation.  She looks down, her face flaming.  Rey does not want to talk about this.  Least of all with this man.  "I don't know what you mean." 

 

"I think you do," he counters. 

 

Rey scowls. "What's it to you, Kylo Ren?" she mutters.  "You probably hurt people all the time too.”

 

“Rey—“

 

“And you don't need me.  There's an infirmary here. I'll bet the First Order will give you all the bacta patches you want."

 

She's not meeting his eyes.  And now it's his turn to frown.   "Does he force you?  Rey, I want to know."

 

She glares at him.  She's confused and a bit indignant.  This is the monster who killed Han and Finn, she reminds herself.  "Why do you care, Sith?"

 

"Because I feel responsible," he admits softly.

 

"You are responsible," Rey hisses at him.  She has lost her concentration now.  She's uncomfortable so she's got her arms wrapped around her.  To give herself the hug she never gets from another.   And to her horror, she starts to cry.  Traitorous tears leak out her tightly squeezed eyes and now she's gulping back sobs.  It's humiliating to show weakness to this man.  She hasn't cried before the creepy Supreme Leader so why is she crying before his Apprentice?  Rey learned long ago to stoically withstand what life sends her way.

 

"Rey--"

 

Her words spill out.  "I want to go home . . . I want to get away from the First Order . . . I want to get away from him."  She looks away for a moment as she struggles to maintain her shaky composure.  "I want to escape him, but I know I never will.  I am trapped . . . "

 

"Rey--" 

 

And now she fully concedes to tears.  All the lovely makeup the grooming droid spent half an hour on this morning is running down her face.  This is the crying jag breakdown Rey has been holding in ever since she had woken up strapped to a torture chair on the Starkiller.  And now, months later it all bubbles up and can no longer be contained.  These are tears for Han Solo, for Finn, for the belonging she thought she had finally found with the Resistance.  But most of all, these are tears for herself.

 

Because she can't catch a break.  She is the most unlucky girl ever.  Abandoned as a child and kept alive by sheer determination.  Then caught up in a war she didn't much care about but meeting people she did. And now those brief friends are dead and she's a prisoner who is dressed up and pawed at by a monstrous Muun who wants to rule the galaxy.  And the deadly, confusing Kylo Ren has become strangely friendly and is now bizarrely sympathetic. 

 

She feels him reach for her, tugging her towards him.  Encircling her in tired, strong arms. And for a moment, she acquiesces. Because even a hug from this man is a hug. 

 

She's being manipulated, she fears. Just like with the Muun.  She had thought Kylo Ren to be the greater monster of the two--he's certainly the more violent--but now she's not so sure. This man is confounding and there are moments when she wonders whether he too is a sort of prisoner to the Muun. 

 

"Tell me," he whispers.  "Does he hurt you?"  His voice in her ear is strangely intimate and that sets off alarm bells in her head.  She leaps back and thrusts him away from her.

 

"No." She spits out her words in bitter resignation. "Not yet.  But he will."  Rey’s face has an ugly, determined look.  “He will have to.  Because I won’t be willing.”

 

"Rey--"

 

She cuts him off.  "I am a survivor.  I will survive." 

 

“Rey—“

 

“Get yourself a bacta patch!” she snarls at him.  Rey half expects him to freeze her with the Force as she stomps out in tears.  But he lets her go.


	6. Chapter 6

His Master shuffles from the training room looking pleased.  And in his wake, Kylo staggers to his feet.  Today’s training session has been spent on Force tricks, rather than on saber training.  And while that gives his aching muscles a rest, it is no less punishing on his body.  Kylo has lost count of the number of times he has been thrown into the wall today after failing to repel his Master’s Force pushes in time.  He’s pretty certain that at least a couple of his ribs are cracked.  And he suspects that beneath his shirt, his torso is black and blue already.

 

But Rey is coming to make it all better.  Yes, this is the best part of his day.

 

He hears her voice in the hallway through the open door.  _Thank you, Supreme Leader._ Old Snoke has complimented her appearance and she respectfully replies.  They are a stilted pair together, Kylo has observed.  There is no warmth between the Muun and his captive Resistance girl.  As standoffish as Rey is with Kylo, the scavenger girl is downright chilly to his Master.

 

But dutifully, she is here to help him.  Looking lovely as always of late.  Watching Rey now, Kylo can’t believe that he ever thought this woman to be anything less than beautiful.  He wonders what question she will have for him today.   He hopes she has a question for him.

 

“When did you know that you had the Force?” Rey asks as she approaches. 

 

Her directness makes him smile.  “I have always known.  I did not have an Awakening like you.”  Kylo winces as he struggles to pull his shirt up and over his head.  She blushes a little.  He’s noticed that Rey always blushes when he is bare chested for her healing.  Which is often.  “Awakenings are rare, Rey.  My uncle--,” Kylo stops himself before he says more. 

 

But Rey is looking at him expectantly.  “Yes?”

 

He considers and then continues.  “My uncle had an Awakening.  He was about your age when he began to train in the Force.”

 

She nods at this.  “Is your uncle a Sith too?”

 

“No.  He’s a Jedi.”

 

“Oh.”  And a moment later, understanding dawns.  “Ooooh.  He’s that Jedi.”

 

“He’s the only Jedi,” Kylo smirks.  “And the last.”

 

Rey’s eyes narrow.  She looks troubled.  “So you are going to kill your uncle like you killed your father?” 

 

Kylo answers honestly.  “Yes.”

 

Her brow furrows and her tone drips with judgement.  “You kill a lot of people, don’t you?”

 

“Yes,” he admits.  “We’re at war, Rey.  People die.”  And that’s true.  It isn’t personal.  Well, in his uncle’s case, it will be personal.  But generally, it’s not. 

 

“Don’t you ever feel bad about killing people?”  She’s looking at him now like this answer is very important to her. 

 

So Kylo stops and thinks a moment.  “On occasion.”  And this too is true.  He has regretted his violence from time to time.  “But conventional morality does not apply to the Sith.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because we revere power above all else.”  The ends will always justify the means for a Sith.  And, the end is almost always power.  For the lust for power is the essence of what it means to be Sith.  And ruling the galaxy is the ultimate Dark Side achievement.  So questions of right and wrong are superfluous. 

 

He can see that Rey is struggling to understand this.  “Power is above everything?  Above everyone?”

 

“Yes.”

 

She looks away a moment, still seeming confused.  Or maybe disappointed.  He isn’t sure.  “Alright, let’s get this over with,” she decides.

 

And now Rey summons her power and she lays her hands lightly on his bare chest and this is bliss.  Pure bliss.  Does this scavenger girl suspect that she renews his soul as much as she renews his body when she does this?  Does she know how much this means to him?  How it’s worth all the punishment just to feel this warm rush of calm Light Side forgiveness?

 

Kylo Ren has spent weeks now punishing his body and draining his mind from the knife edge focus that Sith training requires.  Always under the suffocating, hypercritical eye of his Master.  He is wearier today than ever, so after the pretty girl with the Force imprint that fills the room bathes him in her healing power, Kylo gives in to the temptation. 

 

He reaches for the Light.

 

His hands are on her cheeks, lifting her face up as he bends down.  His lips find hers.  It's a single kiss, brief and chaste.   More like a social greeting fashionable people give their friends than a true romantic kiss.

 

But still, she gasps.  After a moment of stunned confusion, Rey leaps back and glares at him.  "You're just like him, aren't you?” she accuses bitterly.  “Like the Leader."

 

Somehow her words wound, and Kylo reflexively denies them.  "No, no I'm not."  Yes, he wants to emulate his Master in most things, but not in the way he is treating this girl.  Kylo feels badly about the way Snoke is treating Rey.  Maybe it’s all the healing comfort she brings him, but Kylo is becoming oddly protective of Rey.

 

But is he like the Leader?  Suddenly, Kylo’s not so sure.  His Master lusts after this girl, but is it for herself or for her Light?  Or both?  For years, his Master has derided Kylo for his call to the Light.  And now, the Apprentice is wondering whether his Master feels that same draw.  Whether the Darkest Sith ever known hides the secret that he too yearns for the comfort that only the Light can bring. 

 

But shouldn’t old Darth Plagueis be immune to the Light?

 

And as Kylo stares down at her, wondering about his Master, he begins to wonder about Rey too.  Does she ever feel drawn to Darkness?  The old Jedi Order used to teach that the Dark Side was additive.  That once you start down the Dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.  One taste was all it took for the weak to be corrupted.  And that’s how it had been with the young Ben Solo.  Once Kylo had felt that first rush of easy power fueled by emotion he was hooked.  There had been no going back.

 

But what about Rey?  Does she respond to his Darkness the way he responds to her Light?  He simply needs to know.  So Kylo ignores her huff.  “What do I look like in the Force?” he demands.  “Close your eyes and tell me.”

 

She shrugs and doesn’t even bother to concentrate.  Clearly, she’s annoyed with him.  “You are nothing in the Force.  A blank really.  Snoke is the same way.  He tells me it’s because the Sith hide in the Force.”

 

Kylo inwardly curses himself for his idiocy.  Of course, he knows this.  Hiding in the Force is the first lesson of being a Sith.  And it’s been second nature to Kylo for years now as a means to hide from his uncle.  He must be slipping because he’s so tired.  So worn down.  Now Kylo uncloaks his power and lets his Darkness blaze.  And beckon.  “Look again.  What do you see?”

 

Rey just purses her lips and gives him a look.

 

“Please?” he asks. 

His unexpected word has the desired effect.  This time Rey closes her eyes to concentrate and then she gasps aloud.  Yes, it’s an ego rush to see how his power impresses this girl.  Ordinary women might not appreciate his Darkness, but Force-sensitive Rey can.  He sees her stagger back two paces to the wall behind her.  Her eyes are still closed and now her head is thrown back and her lips part slightly.  Her hands come up.  Is it to ward him off or to surrender?  Kylo can’t tell.

 

“Tell me what you feel,” he commands. 

 

“I . . . I . . . “ Rey stammers out nothing.  And he grins to see the effect he has on her.  Clearly, she is awed.

 

“Tell me,” he urges, stepping closer.  Wanting her to put words to his Dark majesty. 

 

“I . . . I . . .”  Rey is up against the wall and panting and it’s quite possibly the most erotic thing he has ever seen.  She’s not hot for him, she’s hot for his power and that’s something a Sith can appreciate.  For Kylo has been coveting Rey’s power since she first healed him weeks ago.   He’s a Dark Sith who craves the feel of her Light.  And now he sees that this lady of the Light might in her own way equally enjoy his Darkness. 

 

“Tell me,” he growls at her.  Wanting to hear Rey talk dirty to him about the Force.    “Tell me what you feel.”

 

Damn, this girl is so hot right now.  Tired as he is, Kylo is getting turned on just watching this. 

 

“I . . . I . . .”    She is still dazzled, he sees.  And he steps closer still, raising a hand to cup her cheek.  To ground her and focus her like once before when she had been drowning in the Light healing General Hux.  But at Kylo’s touch, Rey moans and her eyes pop open.  And, then, unmistakably:  “Yes!”

 

That’s all the encouragement Kylo needs.  He plunders her mouth with a passion that surprises himself.  And she doesn’t resist.  Rey yields to his lips, to his tongue, to his hands that clasp her to him, and to his body that pins her fast against the wall.  The girl who shoots him more dirty looks than smiles is now putty in his hands, surrendering herself to the onslaught of his power.  And that knowledge is intoxicating.  Because Kylo knows he could have her.  Right here, right now, on the floor of the training room in his Master’s lair, he could bed this Light Side healer priestess who has become his secret obsession.  And, bewitched as she is, Rey would love it.  

 

Kylo grinds into her now.  He’s drunk on his own power, invincible and supreme.  Absolutely, ruthlessly, irredeemably Sith.  And that makes him feel dominant and competitive too.  For can she feel how hard he is for her?  Does she know that everything his power can do to her mind, his dick can do to her body?   That he can satisfy her the way his decrepit old Master cannot?  Rey doesn’t need a broken down, centuries old Muun.  She needs a young, virile human Sith like himself.  Kylo can top whatever lecherous old Darth Plagueis plans to do to her.  And he won’t hurt this girl, he will please her.  It’s Kylo’s name she should be gasping out, not old Snoke’s.  This girl and her Light should belong to him.

 

And that very thought stops him even though she would not.  For this is his Master’s woman.  Claimed by Darth Plagueis to his Apprentice in no uncertain terms.   Rey is not his and she can never be his.  This knowledge is like a splash cold water over him. 

 

Reason returns fast and Kylo pushes back from her as instantly he dampens his power.  Rey is left staring at him, wide eyed and open mouthed.  Looking confused at first and then horrified.  Then finally, terrified.  Rey doesn’t say a word, she just flies the room.

 

An hour, one long cold shower and several bacta patches later, Kylo is full of self-recriminations.  That kiss had been a mistake.  A big mistake.   That girl is trouble and he needs to keep his distance. 

 

He is a Sith and he should be immune to the Light.

 

But he has been weak for Rey’s Light since the Starkiller. Lately, he’s even been looking forward to an injury just to be near to her.  To have another excuse to feel her healing.   Kylo gets a little every few days and it only makes him want more.  How his grandfather would be ashamed of him for coveting this Light Side temptress.

 

Worse still, if he keeps this up, Snoke is going to suspect.  Kylo is doing his best to hide his attraction but the Muun is very perceptive and he has long known of his Apprentice’s weakness for the Light.  Plus, Darth Plagueis is no fool.  For all he knows, the Muun is enjoying throwing he and Rey together just to watch Kylo squirm against her unconscious lure.  Maybe this too is part of his training.

 

There’s only one solution to this dilemma.  He needs to get back to his command, Kylo decides.  For getting back to war will take him away from Rey.  And away from the unrelenting grind of Sith training that has weakened his defenses and lowered his inhibitions.  His mind will once again be able to focus on what really matters.   And there will be no more random daydreams about her hair brushing against his bare chest and her soft yielding lips beneath his.  No more impetuous hugs when she unexpectedly dissolves into tears.  And no more dangerous stolen kisses up against the wall of the training room.

 

It’s none of his business what Snoke has planned for this girl.  He doesn’t care, Kylo reminds himself, and he shouldn’t care.  She’s Resistance, after all.  Rey is lucky to be alive. 

 

Yes, he needs to return to his command ASAP.  And it’s a rationally defensible request.  For with Hux still recovering, all the general's direct reports are running the First Order and they are a predictable, reactionary bunch.   These are men who implement strategy, rather than determine it.  If they have one defining characteristic, it is their lack of vision.  They should not be entrusted with power for very long.   Kylo knows that he is the only leader in the Order who understands the commando raid mentality of the Resistance.  And he’s the only one who knows how to use the hit and run tactics of asymmetrical warfare against the Resistance. 

 

So when a new intelligence report comes in a few days later, an opportunity arises.  Kylo presents himself to his Master. 

 

"Master, now that the Resistance base location has been compromised, they are evacuating in anticipation that we will soon strike. We need to be tracing their retreat. We need to know where they are headed.  We cannot allow them to disperse and regroup as usual."

 

The old Muun nods his acceptance of this advice.  No doubt, he has read the same intelligence report.

 

"You wish to return to the _Finalizer_ then?"  His Master has drawn the obvious conclusion.

 

“Yes.”

 

Snoke raises an eyebrow.  "You have not completed your training," his Master reminds him.

 

Kylo is normally the one begging for more of his Master's time. And so today's request is atypical.  At this rate, he will never get his Darth title.  But he has to get away from that girl.  Rey and her Light are entirely too enticing.  So standing before his Master, Kylo blanks his mind of all but thoughts of revenge on the Resistance for the Starkiller.  He learned long ago to project only the most unimpeachable of motivations when making a request.  Because as a general rule, you do not make requests of Leader Snoke, he makes requests of you. 

 

“Their victory over the Starkiller has emboldened them,” Kylo argues.  “Newcomers will flock to their cause in the wake of Hosnia.  While the New Republic is gone, we run the risk that the Resistance will fill the vacuum it created.  And grow.”

 

“And your training?”

 

“Will continue as you see fit, my Master.  I do your bidding.  I am yours to command.”

 

Snoke considers for a moment and then agrees.  “Very well, find the Resistance base.  In due time, I shall make a full Sith of you.  Only then will you be prepared to confront the Last Jedi.”  He fixes Kylo with a hard look.  “Not before, Apprentice.  Only a fully trained Sith will defeat Skywalker.”

 

“Yes, Master.”

 

“Your grandfather Lord Vader was never properly trained a Sith.  That was a mistake that came back to haunt both he and Sidious.  I will not make the same mistake with you, my boy.  I value you too much.”

 

“Yes, Master.”

 

And now Darth Plagueis adds one unexpected and unwelcome condition to his instructions.  "Take Rey with you.  Smath can put her to work healing battlefield injuries.  She needs to be challenged in order to develop her abilities.  I am impatient for her progress."

 

Take her with him??  No, this is not working out as Kylo had hoped.  But dutifully, he responds, “Yes, Master.”

 

And it gets worse.  “I am entrusting the girl to you, Apprentice.  Watch over her.  She will try to escape.  Guard her well.”

 

“Yes, Master.”

 

“Do not harm the girl.  And remember,” the Muun pauses for full effect, “she is mine.”

 

“Yes, Master.”


	7. Chapter 7

Rey is hopeful today in a way she has not been for many long weeks.  This morning, the Leader had informed her that she will be sent to the battlefront to heal.  He wants to her to begin attempting more complex injuries.  To challenge herself and to increase her abilities.  The scary looking Muun had made her run through the concentration exercises he has taught her one last time.  He ordered her to continue to use the Force for all menial tasks.  Then he kissed her chastely on the lips, told her that now and forever she belongs to the Sith, and she was dismissed. 

 

Now Rey stands atop a First Order shuttle ramp next to a very impatient Kylo Ren.  He is ignoring her and she is trying to forget what happened between them in the training room three days ago.   Days later, Rey is still confused and embarrassed and it’s awkward.  Really awkward. 

 

Truthfully, Rey isn’t entirely sure what happened.  One moment she was healing him and then he had kissed her like the Leader does.  And then they were talking about the Force and he had kissed her again.  And that kiss had been nothing like how the Leader kisses her.   Rey doesn’t know what came over her, but it was scary and unsettling.  What is it with these Sith men wanting to kiss and touch her so much?   For all his creepy promises, the Leader mostly treats her like a doll.  But Kylo Ren?  Well, that kiss had been something completely different.  Rey remembers it being one step removed from the steamy soft porn that plays on the holonet late at night. 

 

She sighs.  Her first ever real kiss.  And it was from a Sith.

 

She’s glad that Kylo Ren has his helmet on today and she doesn’t have to look him in the eye.  Together they wait in tense silence for some tardy senior officer to board.  And here he comes.  It’s General Hux. 

 

"Ren."

 

“Hux.”  Kylo Ren nods back at the tall, whippet thin officer who strides onboard the shuttle like he owns it.  Rey recognizes him as the injured general from the infirmary.  The commander of the Starkiller who the Leader had punished so severely.

 

But the general does not seem to recognize her.  He looks Rey over with undisguised interest, taking in her fancy dark pink dress with matching hooded travel cape.   His gaze seems to linger on her long, curled hair that is anything but orderly and neat.  Then he turns to Kylo Ren and begins talking about Rey like she isn't present.  It's rude.

 

"Who is this?"  Hux jabs his thumb in her direction.

 

"This is Rey.  She is being sent to the _Finalizer_ to work for Smath."

 

Hux raises an eyebrow at this. "Why is she out of uniform?  And what is she doing on a command shuttle?  This isn't a transport for noncommissioned personnel," he complains.  “Put the nurse on a regular transport.”

 

Kylo Ren takes off his helmet and now the two men are eye to eye.  From their body language, it’s clear that they are not friends.  "She is a civilian,” Kylo informs Hux.  “And she’s not a nurse."

 

"Then she definitely doesn't belong here.  Is she some sort of contractor?  Who supervises her?"

 

"I do."

 

And now Hux’s tone is increasingly nasty.  "What is this, Ren?  Does Leader Snoke know you're bringing your girlfriend or whatever she is onboard our fleet?"

 

Kylo Ren just turns away and begins studying his datapad. 

 

Hux scowls at this reaction. Then he turns to the stormtrooper poised to close the shuttle ramp.  "Get her out of here," the general orders before he stalks further back into the ship. 

 

As soon as he leaves, the stormtrooper looks to Ren.

 

"Sir?" he asks respectfully. 

 

"Lady Rey stays.  Tell the pilot to take off."

 

And that’s how Rey escapes the Supreme Leader.  Already her mind is working for how she can escape Kylo Ren next.  For if she can escape the Starkiller cell, she can escape a cell on a star destroyer.   Because if there’s anything Rey knows, it’s star destroyers.  Well, at least the Imperial variety she explored back on Jakku.  So Rey resolves to keep her eyes and her ears open and to appear as demure as possible while she bides her time.  She will lull them with her compliance and catch Kylo Ren unaware.   And then, at long last she will be free again. 

 

Two hours later the shuttle docks in the hangar bay of the massive First Order flagship, the _Finalizer_.  From the first moment of their arrival, it’s clear that this is a very different place from the Leader’s small and private command center.   It is a warship housing thousands of troops and bustling with activity according to a clear and relentlessly observed chain of command.  And sitting atop that command and control structure is one man:  the First Knight of the First Order, the Leader’s right hand man, Kylo Ren.  Now, even the disgraced General Hux must report to the Sith Apprentice.

 

Rey doesn't fully understand what it means to be Kylo Ren until the shuttle ramp lowers.  Assembled in the cavernous hangar bay are at least one hundred troopers and so many officers that Rey begins to wonder who is left manning the bridge.  To a man, they all look terrified as they wait at rigid military attention.  All in all, it's a lot of pomp and circumstance. 

 

Standing at the forefront of the assembly are six helmeted men dressed in matching black surcoats.  Rey recognizes them from the First Order propaganda she has read.  These are the Knights of Ren, Kylo's extra-military elite fighting force.  Accountable only to the man himself.  These are not regular troops who stand at attention.  They are menacing warriors who stand with feet spread and arms crossed.  Seeing them, Rey remembers Kylo himself in that stance.  It projects power.

 

As Rey takes it all in, General Hux brushes past her with a brutal glare.  Then he strides first down the ramp into the hangar bay. 

 

“Ignore him,” Kylo tells her in a low voice.  It’s the first words he’s said to her since that regrettable kiss.  “I’m in charge here, not Hux.  Stay close and be quiet."  Then Kylo pulls on his helmet.  Rey will soon learn that, unlike at Snoke's stronghold, Kylo wears his helmet at all times in public on the _Finalizer_.  It’s the first of many things that will be different about Kylo Ren here amid his fighting men.

 

So dutifully she follows the First Knight down the ramp.  He is received by one of the Knights of Ren and by a middle-aged admiral who looks especially dour.  Hux looks on glowering at having to yield the spotlight to Kylo Ren. 

 

Rey can't help but notice all the curious glances sent her way.  Standing in her long dark pink dress and matching cloak, Rey looks decidedly out of place amid all the uniformed black and white of the First Order.   She’s dressed for an elegant daytime party, not for war.   And while there are probably many women in the First Order, there don’t seem to be any among these ranks.  Rey forces herself not to squirm under the frankly appraising looks of so many men.   She’s glad that she pulled her hood up.  It at least partially obscures her face.  But still she is self-conscious about being on display.  Her cheeks are hot and she lowers her eyes.  All the better to appear demure, she tells herself.

 

"Well, hello, what have we here?" The ranking Knight of Ren steps apart from Kylo to inspect Rey.  And smoothly he reaches for her hand.  "I am Nestor Ren.  I am the Second Knight.  And who might you be?"

 

"I am Rey," she says stiffly.

 

"Welcome, Rey."  She blinks as the beefy blonde Knight with a buzzcut raises her hand to his lips.  It's a courtly gesture from a bygone era and it’s completely at odds with their military setting and audience of curious onlookers.  Rey probably ought to smile coyly and reclaim her hand with the breezy sophistication of a socialite used to this sort of fawning attention.  But, instead, the scavenger girl freezes.   Uncertain what to do.

 

Kylo looks over from where he is speaking with the dour admiral.   "Alright, alright, Nestor.  Back off."  He's wearing his mask but Rey can hear the smile behind Kylo’s words.  These men must be friends.

 

Nestor Ren is only mildly deterred.  And he's still holding her hand. "Is she with you?  Kylo, you lucky dog."

 

"Back off, Nestor."  Now Kylo's voice holds a note of warning.  "She's not with me, she belongs to the Leader."

 

Nestor Ren instantly drops her hand and steps back to execute a small formal bow that even Milo would approve of. "My lady, my apologies."  Rey just nods.  She has taken no offense.   And the fearsome looking Nestor Ren is sort of endearing now as he colors and stammers out his words.  As she looks around, she catches the eye of General Hux standing nearby and the general too reacts with wariness.  She sees him visibly swallow and knows that he also must regret his earlier words.  And while Rey might inwardly bristle at being described as belonging to anyone, if the aegis of the Supreme Leader keeps these men at bay, then she’s fine with that.

 

It turns out that these men’s reaction is typical of how Rey is treated on the _Finalizer_.  Everyone from the stormtroopers up to the admiral are distantly polite and on their best behavior at all times.  They all seem terrified of her.  But maybe it’s that they are terrified of Kylo Ren and his reclusive Supreme Leader. 

 

Before he abruptly disappears, the First Knight of the First Order installs her in General Hux's former quarters across from his own.  The general has lost both his command and his quarters in the wake of the Starkiller.  Rey lives in a very private, very secure portion of the ship and it is the only place where she is not surrounded by stormtroopers.  For she is escorted between her quarters and the medibay by a full squad of troopers.  Between the security detail and her brightly colored elegant civilian dresses, Rey is very conspicuous.  She can't help but feel self-conscious as every eye and quite a few heads turn to gape at her in the hallway.   This onetime Resistance girl feels an interloper amidst the rigid military discipline and uniformed sameness of the First Order. 

 

Once again, lonely Rey of Jakku doesn’t belong.

 

She discovers that Chief Healer Smath runs the medibay _Finalizer_.  In fact, the grizzled old veteran of the Empire runs the entire First Order medical corps.  But I thought you worked at the Leader's stronghold, Rey comments.  I have worked for the Leader for many years, Smath tells Rey.  So when I heard about the Starkiller, I knew I would be needed.  He gives her a level look and naively Rey doesn't follow his meaning.  For the survivors?  No, Smath tells her, for the punishment. 

 

Smath sets her to work on trauma injuries exclusively.  These are mostly battlefield blaster wounds and the horrific aftermath from explosions.  Don’t waste your time on illnesses or burns, Smath tells her.  The Leader needs a specific set of skills.  When Ren next cuts someone with his saber, we’ll be sure to get you to work on that patient.  Saber wounds would be ideal training, Smath comments. 

 

Because Force healing is so draining, Rey divides her work into two daily sessions. In between, she returns to her quarters to nap because she literally cannot stay awake after so much healing.  The concentration it requires leaves her utterly depleted.  She has learned her lesson from the near disastrous attempt at healing General Hux.  Rey safeguards her stamina now and she becomes more and more judicious about how and when she uses her power.

 

Should she bawk at healing First Order personnel?  Maybe Rey ought to be losing sleep over this assignment, but she isn't.  If she can heal General Hux and Kylo Ren, then shouldn't the mostly stormtrooper patients she sees get help too?  Aren't they conscripts anyway?  They didn't choose this life and this war, even if they may support it now. And, really, shouldn't all sick and hurt people get medical care, regardless of ideology?  It's the humane, merciful thing to do.   So First Order or Resistance, it’s all the same to Rey. 

 

It is a mark of distinction to be asked to serve under the Chief Healer on the First Order’s flagship.  Medicine is a highly technical field and the _Finalizer_ medibay crew is a close knit, very skilled group who function as a team.  Rey is dropped into their midst as an outsider with no conventional medical training.  She barely understands any of their jargon and looks at them blankly if they ask her questions.  Very quickly, the crew decides to ignore the civilian in the fancy dress who is completely unqualified to be in their medibay.   And so by the end of her first two weeks, Rey has given up making friendly overtures.  She is polite and keeps mostly to herself. 

 

And once again, lonely Rey of Jakku doesn’t belong.

 

* * *

 

All his life Kylo has been prone to little obsessions.  He used to tell himself that these compulsions were a way the Force spoke to him, to lead him to moments of discovery and understanding.  Like when he was ten years old and he became obsessed with the Clone Wars. 

 

At first, his mother and uncle had encouraged his interest and listened more or less patiently when he would rattle off names of battles and ships.  Over time, his knowledge became more sophisticated and his younger self spent hours studying the role of the Jedi in the great galactic civil war.  And that too had been generally encouraged until young Ben Solo developed a keen interest in the exploits of the long dead Clone War hero, his grandfather the Jedi Anakin Skywalker.   Did you know that grandpa was a slave who was bought and freed as a boy by the Jedi?   Grandpa was also the youngest ever member of the Jedi High Council, Ben had told his Uncle Luke with boyish hero worship. 

 

Yes, I know, Luke Skywalker had responded in a guarded tone.  It was too bad my father died in the Jedi Purge and I never got to meet him.  Darth Vader betrayed and murdered your grandfather, Ben.  More than once his sage uncle had lied blithely to young Ben's face.  Just like he himself had once been lied to.  And then would come a long lecture about the evils of the power drunk betrayers of the Dark Side, the lying Sith. Yes, it had all been true, from a certain point of view.   

 

The Force has a great sense of irony where the Skywalker clan is concerned.  And so in a roundabout way, his boyhood obsessions—the Clone Wars and Anakin Skywalker--had led Ben Solo to Snoke.  For the third time the surly teenaged Ben stole his uncle's rusty X-wing and ran away from the Jedi Academy, he had wandered on a whim to find his grandmother's grave. Ben Solo had spent hours there in the Naboo countryside alternating between haphazard meditation and surfing the holonet for information on his long dead grandparents. Just hanging out for a stress-free day to rebel against his uncle's incessant criticism. 

 

Ben had been about to leave the Naberrie family tomb when Milo had appeared as a stranger and called him by name, telling him that someone wanted to meet him.  Ben had been suspicious.

 

_Did my mother send you?_

_No._

_My uncle?_

_No._

_Then how do you know who I am?_

_My Master recognized you in the Force._

_How?_

_Because you are a Skywalker.  My Master is a Skywalker too._

_There are no other Skywalkers.  They’re all dead except for my uncle._

_My Master is the patriarch of the Skywalkers.  Your great-grandfather._

_My grandfather was born a bastard slave.  He had no father._

_My Master is nearby at his temple.  He can explain.  He would very much like to meet you._

_What temple?_

 

That day Snoke would be the one to tell Ben Solo the truth.   No, Darth Vader was your grandfather, the reclusive Muun had said quietly.   He was the best starpilot in the galaxy and a cunning warrior.  And, he was my son created in the Force.   I regret that I did not find him before the Jedi did.  For then, he might have been Sith all along, and properly trained.  That revelation had rocked the already disgruntled world of fifteen-year-old Ben Solo.  For it turned out to be the Jedi who had lied to him, and not the Sith.  

 

_I don't believe you._

_Search your feelings boy, you know it to be true._

_That's not true. That's impossible!_

_Anything is possible in the Force._

_You lie!_

_I never lie. I don't need to.  The truth is usually far more devastating than any lie could be.  No doubt your family thought it was for the best.  They fear your power.  Your uncle especially._  

 

Then wily old Darth Plagueis had told him to go home.  No, his young self had grumbled. I don't want to go home.  I don't want to be a Jedi.  I have never wanted to be a Jedi.  And besides, I am not strong with the Force.  I'm a Skywalker and I'm the worst padawan of all.  

 

_I want to go to college and study military history._

_Do you like war, boy?_

_I like the Clone Wars._

_Why?_

_I like strategy.  It's much more interesting than Jedi training. And I'm good at it._

_Who tells you that you are not strong in the Force?_

_My uncle.  Luke fucking Skywalker._

_He's lying to you about that too._

_No, he's not.  But I don't care.  Levitating rocks is a waste of time._

_Show me how you use the Force._

_I can't use the Force--that's the point!  But it doesn't matter because I don't want to be a Jedi.  I hate my uncle anyway._

 

_You are an angry young man.  Release that anger in the Force._

_Look, whoever you are, I can't use the Force.  I am an utter failure as a Jedi.  But my family won't let me quit._

_Release your anger in the Force._

 

_I'm not supposed to do that._

_Do it._

_What the fuck was that??_

_Force lightning.  And that, my boy, is the power your uncles sees in you.  And fears._

 

You have plenty of Force, young Skywalker, the Muun had purred.  One day you will be very powerful.  Ignore your lying uncle.  He has his own agenda.  You are a Skywalker son, a descendant of Darkness created in the Force.  What you do will matter.  Force-users like us are agents of change in the universe.   We plot the course of history, we topple orthodoxy and we implode regimes.  We matter.  One day, if you are smart and diligent, you too may rule the galaxy.  Perhaps you will be the one to finish what your grandfather started.

 

And those were the first words of encouragement and confidence that Ben Solo had heard in a long, long time.

 

Yes, Kylo recalls looking back, he had been a difficult teen.  Estranged from his absent father and overbearing uncle and increasingly contemptuous of his perpetually busy mother.  Dragged to the Jedi Academy against his will.  And then back again, each time he had run away.  His family nagged that the Force was a gift, but to him it was a curse.  You have a responsibility to the galaxy and to your family, they told him incessantly.  But all he heard was that what he himself wanted didn't matter.   And then, to add to his frustration, he was a horrible student.  So why did it matter if he became a Jedi?  At this rate, he would never make it.  If you put your heart into it, you will succeed, his uncle had admonished.  But Ben knew that wasn't the case.  No one ever said it, but he knew he was a disappointment.   And so, tired of being pushed into a life he did not want and could not succeed at, young Ben Solo had rebelled.  Spectacularly. 

 

One lesson from the mysterious Muun had given him a taste of his Dark potential and teenage Kylo had been hooked. More, he wanted more. More of the easy power that felt so good. More of the secret truth of his family’s past. So Kylo himself had sought out the Muun and begged.  The old Master had turned him down flat.  But then relented to dangle hope before him.   Impress me, boy, and perhaps I shall reconsider. So Kylo had been bold and returned with the blood of twenty-five Jedi padawans on his hands and Luke Skywalker hot on his heels.   He had been rewarded that same day with the title Apprentice.

 

Welcome home, young Skywalker, Darth Plagueis had told the gangly, pimple-faced teenaged Ben who knelt before him to pledge his soul to Darkness.  This is the will of the Force.  Learn to recognize the will of the Force. 

 

So he had.  And it turns out that one strong, persistent clue to the will of the Force are the obsessions of Kylo Ren. 

 

So what lies behind his obsession with the valiant scavenger girl turned beautiful Force priestess?   Is this anything more than his forever weakness for the Light?  He can’t tell.  Maybe, Kylo muses, he is just looking for excuses for his own shortcomings. 

 

He can't sleep with Rey across the hall.  The image of her curled up in slumber on Snoke’s bed is burned into his brain.  There she lay unaware with her defenses down.  Beautiful in her wispy pink negligee that concealed even as it revealed.  Rey probably looks like that now when she sleeps.  Mere paces from his door. 

 

Kylo Ren is master of all on the _Finalizer_ , and his handprint opens all doors, even hers.  He could enter her quarters and kiss the sleeping beauty awake as his Master had done back at his stronghold.  And then Kylo would reveal his power, dazzle the poor girl into willing submission, and have his way with her.  It’s a Dark fantasy that replays over and over in his mind.  It makes him no better than that randy old Muun who wants to use her to renew his body and then take her by force to be his own.  No doubt to prove his regained potency.  Yes, Kylo thinks ruefully, he is every bit as bad as his Sith Master. 

 

The problem is that the temptation is constant.  Even now as Kylo closes his eyes hidden behind his mask, he feels her power calling to him.  Even far away standing on the _Finalizer_ bridge, he is drawn him to her Light.  It takes effort to resist.  But he does because Rey is his Master’s and Kylo Ren is no fool.

 

The underside of obsession is jealousy, and the green-eyed monster has indeed reared its ugly head.  For it galls him that Rey is healing other men now.   His cannon fodder stormtroopers get to feel her touch even if they are Force blind to her power.  They get to see her beauty and to hear her voice.  Word of mouth is huge on capital ships like this, he knows, and the rumor mill runs rampant.  Soon, any random trooper with a stubbed toe is going to present himself at the medibay just for a chance to catch a glimpse of the prettiest woman onboard.  All the while Kylo is commanding on the bridge or off on missions trying desperately to forget her. 

 

Two weeks.  It has been a little over two weeks since Kylo had kissed her.  Two weeks since he had last felt her Light.

 

This is all his own doing, he knows.  He has no one to blame but himself.  Oh, how Kylo regrets asking to return to his command.  He should have stayed to complete his training and let Hux handle the day-to-day.  And then he would have had an excuse to see Rey and to feel her Light.   But instead, he got his wish and he’s chasing down the enemy’s secret base.  Yes, it’s a different time, a different war and a different enemy, but Kylo Ren is doing what Darth Vader did for years. 

 

“Where is the Resistance?” the looming hologram of his Master asks and Kylo suspects strongly that Snoke already knows that the search has been fruitless so far.

 

“We have not located their base yet.  Our intelligence is sketchy at best.  Rumors, mostly.” 

 

Finding the new Resistance base is proving more difficult than Kylo would like.  His generals are convinced that the enemy has decamped to a new hidden location en masse.  But Kylo is not so sure. For years, the old Rebellion had survived by dividing itself into self-sufficient hubs.  When his grandfather found and destroyed one hub, the others continued the cause without being significantly weakened.  This strategy of using numerous, smaller presences across the galaxy not only decreased risk, it also increased the scope and reach of the Rebellion.  So Kylo is not convinced that they are looking for one Resistance base.  Probably more like five bases. 

 

Not everyone is persuaded.  Hux and the rest of his Academy-trained textbook soldiers all continue to think that they are still fighting the New Republic. That this war is a traditional struggle between relative equals, like the Separatists versus the Old Republic.  But Kylo Ren is Leia Organa's son and he knows how these sly terrorists think.  He also knows that the Resistance general hasn't had a new thought or considered a new strategy since the Battle of Endor long before he himself was born.  His mother will default to the tried-and-true, and that means Rebellion-era tactics.

 

“What is your plan?”   The Supreme Leader sounds almost bored. 

 

“We have a new intelligence strategy,” Kylo announces and beside him General Hux shoots him a glare.  Ignoring this, Kylo continues, “The First Order will propose a series of prisoner exchanges.  That will increase contacts between us and the Resistance and provide more opportunities to trace communications and Resistance personnel back to their core command structure.”

 

The plan was Nestor Ren’s idea, and it’s a good one.  The Order has a few high ranking New Republic Senators in custody and Kylo knows his mother--herself once a prisoner--will be tempted to liberate her old cronies.  Hell, Kylo will gladly empty the First Order jails completely if it will get him the information he needs.  Let someone else feed and clothe those traitors, he thinks.  If nothing else, it will help his bottom line.

 

“Will their general agree to this?” Snoke directs this question at Kylo.   Hux is the only one in the dark as to why Kylo Ren is the resident expert on all things Leia Organa. 

 

“Yes.”

 

But Hux disagrees.  “That woman is cautious, and there’s no love lost between her and the New Republic, no matter what she says publicly.  She might prefer for those Senators to remain captive.”

 

Kylo remains firm.  “General Organa will go for it.”

 

“How do you know?”  Hux turns to face Kylo as he issues this challenge.  His undertone of belligerence is unmistakable.

 

But Snoke intercedes to preempt the argument.  “In this matter, we will trust Kylo Ren.  Very well, we will proceed with the exchanges and see what comes of it.  General, you are dismissed.” 

 

When Hux is gone, the Supreme Leader switches gears.  “Smath tells me that Rey is settling into her work in the medibay.  He is satisfied.  Are you, Kylo Ren?”

 

Kylo blinks behind his mask, searching for the appropriate answer.  Kylo has stayed far away from Rey on the _Finalizer_.  He has no idea how she is or what she is doing.  “If Smath is satisfied, then I am too,” he decides. 

 

His Master looks almost amused at this non-answer.  “When was the last time you saw our pretty healer, Apprentice?”

 

“I have not seen Rey since the day we arrived together on the _Finalizer_ ,” Kylo answers truthfully.

 

And this too seems to amuse and please Snoke. 


	8. Chapter 8

Kylo Ren seems to have disappeared from her life and that should be a good thing.  But Rey is not so sure.  Because Kylo Ren is the only person other than Chief Healer Smath and General Hux who she knows onboard this ship of fifty thousand.  And, well, Rey doesn’t really know the Apprentice.  They’re not friends.  They are just two people thrown together who became familiar with each other.  Familiar enough to kiss once.  But apparently, that’s about it. 

 

Still, from the day Rey had that bizarre vision experience at Maz Kanata’s cantina until she set foot on the _Finalizer_ two weeks ago, not a day had gone by when she hadn’t at least seen the Apprentice from afar.  And many days she had healed him and spoken with him for half an hour or so.  Rey had gotten pretty used to him.  She wonders what Kylo Ren is up to these days now that he is not training to be even more evil.  Probably killing people, she figures.   No, she corrects herself, he’s probably ordering people to kill people.  Because here on the _Finalizer_ , Kylo Ren might as well be the Supreme Leader.  She knew that the Apprentice was important, of course, but she didn’t realize how important until she came here.   

 

Glancing over now to see General Hux wander into the medibay, presumably for some follow-up care for his Starkiller punishment, Rey really wishes Kylo Ren were around.  Because, of course, the First Knight’s frenemy is back with his microaggressions.  This guy really gets under her skin.  And, sure enough, on his way out the redheaded general makes a point of approaching Rey. 

 

Is he mad that she’s in his quarters?  He’s probably ticked that she’s living in his quarters.

 

“Visiting the sick?   How very noble of you.”  This man’s default mode seems to be sneer as far as Rey can tell.  “Is this what the Leader sent you here to do?”

 

Rey doesn't know how to answer this question.  Her Force healing is not something that is openly discussed even if many in the medibay know or suspect what she’s doing.  And Rey is very aware of the many eyes that are on her and the general just now.  General Hux is something of a celebrity in the First Order.   People actually like this guy, she now knows.  Unlike Kylo Ren who is universally despised by all but his Knights.  And Rey has learned that, before the Starkiller, General Hux had commanded this ship on equal footing with Kylo Ren.   The rivalry between the two men is the stuff of legends onboard the _Finalizer_.   Rey realizes now that she has unwittingly been put in the middle of a longstanding feud.   Her presence and status on the _Finalizer_ is just the latest of many flashpoints between these two.

 

When Rey doesn’t answer, Hux keeps asking questions.  “You look familiar to me.  I have never seen you before that shuttle ride but you look familiar. Why is that?”   He is suspicious.  And fishing.

 

“You must have seen me at Leader Snoke’s command center,” Rey replies quietly. 

 

“No.   No, I did not.  That place isn't very large.  Were you in the trooper quarters?  I would have seen you in the officers' quarters or the officers' mess.  You don’t exactly blend in.”

 

“She was there.” It’s Chief Healer Smath who has walked up to the bedside of the stormtrooper Rey is healing.  He hovers protectively over Rey now.

 

“I was downstairs.” Rey tries out honesty for her first strategy.  

 

But it only provokes more questions.  “Downstairs where?” probes Hux.

 

“In the Leader’s restricted area,” Rey says quietly.  And she frowns because she can feel herself blushing. 

 

Smath interjects himself in an attempt to smooth things over.  “General, Lady Rey is here at the Leader's behest.  We are happy to have her help.  She has special skills.” 

 

Hux ignores him.  He’s still focused on her.  “Okay, then where were you at night?”

 

"General--"  Smath’s tone is warning now.

 

“With the Leader,” Rey says in as small a voice as possible. 

 

“General—“ It’s Smath again trying to intercede.  But Hux talks over him. 

 

“So you're the Leader's woman?”  The general says this in a loud voice and Rey is humiliated.  And angry.

 

“No, I am not his woman!” Rey snaps back and jumps to her feet.  She’s tired of this interrogation.  And she’s Rey of Jakku and she belongs to no one.  Her independence is her pride and her misery mixed into one jumble of difficult feelings. 

 

Hux’s icy blue eyes narrow.  “Then who are you?  This is my ship and I want an answer.”

 

Rey stares at the surly general.  Then, with much reckless satisfaction, Rey again tells him the truth.  “I'm the scavenger who found the droid with the map to Skywalker.   I’m the girl who blew up the Starkiller oscillator and fought Kylo Ren.”

 

There is a moment of stunned silence and Chief Healer Smath a third time tries to intervene.  “General, she is here under the Leader’s protection—“

 

“You're the enemy prisoner we brought back??  You’re the dirty scavenger??”  Hux is staring at her with a scowl.  “Yes,” the general decides.  And now he is livid to see that the young woman who cost him his command and the technological terror he worked years to build still lives.  “It is you! You should be in a cell.  Or better yet, blasted out the airlock!”  Hux grabs her arm tightly.  “You’re under arrest!”

 

Instantly, it’s a tussle.  The general is tall and wiry, but Rey is strong and quick.  She doesn’t have her staff, but she has far more experience in hand to hand combat that this big-picture, textbook general.  Plus, Rey of Jakku fights dirty.  She fights to win.  Rey lunges for the hands that reach for her with teeth bared.  And when she connects, Rey bites down.  Hard.

 

“Owww!”  Hux leaps back. “You Resistance bitch!”  His expression is cold as he reaches for his sidearm. 

 

"No!"  Rey's eyes widen and instinctively her hand comes up. It's a reflexive gesture, rather than an intentional act, but somehow it lets loose an impressive Force push that flings the general across the room.   The magical Force that she has worked so hard to control is unconsciously coming to her defense.  A split second later, Hux's pistol flies into Rey's open palm just like Finn’s lightsaber once had traveled to her hand when her mind had beckoned.

 

"What the Hell are you doing here?” the fallen general demands as he struggles to his feet.

 

“She heals with the Force,” Smath answers for her.  “The Leader sent her here to practice using the Force.”

 

“More of Ren's magic?” Hux sneers.

 

“She healed you back at Snoke’s command post,” the veteran medic informs him curtly.  “Ten minutes of her help got you out of intensive care, General.  Now let’s call a truce, shall we?  The Leader has decreed that Rey not be harmed.  By you or by anyone.”  The tall, heavyset old medic knows the First Order and its Sith Leader as well or better than any in the military.  He fixes the young general with a hard look.  “She is above even your pay grade, general.”

 

Someone has called security, and now two troopers with guns drawn run at the double into the medibay.  Hux wastes no time pointing and issuing orders.  “Put her in a cell. Now!” 

 

Rey still has a pistol in her hands.  She can do this.  She did this on Takodana.  This time she remembers the safety and sets for stun before she starts shooting.  She takes down the two approaching troopers before aiming a shot squarely at Hux.  And then Rey drops the pistol.   She is out the door at a sprint heading for the hangar bay.  It's long past time for her to get out of here. 

 

Rey careens through the crowded hallways, hair flying and dress trailing.  Heedlessly pushing her way through with elbows out.  As far as Rey can tell, the basic design of the _Finalizer_ is like the old Imperial ships she explored on Jakku.  The medibay is on the same level as the hangar bay and close by.  Presumably, for quick access to medical care for evacuated wounded.  And in the hangar bay, hopefully there will be a ship she can steal. 

 

Rey risks a glance behind her.  While she’s attracting a lot of attention, she isn’t being chased.  Yet.  Well, good.  She has one chance at this escape attempt and she’s not going to lose it.  She enters the hangar bay on the far side nearest the officer shuttles.  Rey heads for the all black sleek one because it’s the closest and its ramp is down.    Plus, it looks like its engines are still on. 

 

So focused is she that Rey misses the troopers who dart out from the left and open fire.   She goes down just as she spies Kylo Ren exit the shuttle.

 

* * *

 

Returning to the _Finalizer_ means returning to Rey.  Her Force imprint washes over Kylo as his command shuttle docks at his star destroyer.  Truly, the scavenger girl has an enormous presence in the Force.  He notices it most keenly when he leaves and returns to his flagship.  It's the best part of returning home. 

 

Kylo allows his mind to bask in the glory of her power for a few moments.  Then, he pulls back.  Resolutely, he reminds himself that the Light is dangerous.  Witness what happened to his grandfather Lord Vader in the end.   A Sith who is a fool for the Light is a dead Sith, he knows.  That’s why he must remain immune to the Light.  The dangerous, cunning, beguiling Light.

 

But it is hard.  Kylo Ren hasn't used spice since he was a teenaged padawan unable to cope with his Jedi Master uncle.  And rarely does Kylo drink to excess. Usually only with the Ren when they’re on one of their Coruscant party binges every few months.  It’s the same with women.  Kylo has never been much for the Coruscant call girls or the camp follower women who seem to exist at every First Order facility.   Yes, he can resist all the usual vices that beset a fighting man.  But still, he struggles to resist the Light.  And more and more, it feels like he is struggling to resist Rey.

 

Kylo had basically deposited Rey in Hux’s quarters, turned her over to Healer Smath and disappeared.  Leaving her, a secret traitor among her enemies, on her own and cloaked in the protection of the Supreme Leader himself.   Kylo has no idea how she is fairing and whether she is happy.  But he has wondered.    Often.

 

Today, his knights are with him on the shuttle.   And as if on cue, his second in command Nestor Ren leans in to tell him conspiratorially, "I'm gonna see your girl, Kylo."  He and Nestor are longtime comrades in arms and true friends.  And in private, Nestor speaks to Kylo with a teasing familiarity that no one else dares use.  "I’m headed to the medibay for a bacta patch.  Maybe your girl Rey will be on duty."

 

"She's not my girl."  Kylo glances over to see Nestor poking at a small gash on his hand.  He snorts.  "You want a bacta patch for that?  Nestor, for a guy with a mechanical leg, you can be a fucking wuss sometimes."

 

His friend just grins.  "I don’t give a shit about the patch.  I just want to see a pretty girl in a dress.  I'm tired of women in armor and helmets.   Say, have you seen Phasma without her gear?  I finally did last week.”  He whistles low. “That woman is hot."

 

"She's also married," Kylo reminds him. "And she could kick your ass, Nestor."

 

His friend is incorrigible.  The man only thinks of two things:  sex and war.   So Nestor nods approvingly at Kylo's comment. "That's my kind of woman. Hot and capable.   Seriously, it's a damn shame Phasma’s all covered up like that.  You should order her to at least remove her helmet.  It would be good for morale."

 

Kylo grunts. "Maybe she doesn't want to be objectified by guys like you, Nestor.”

 

"When did you get so prim?”  Nestor looks him over thoughtfully.  “Kylo, we need to find you a girl.   You have a whole ship full of them here for the picking.  Tell you what—I’ll pick one out for you.  Let me handle this."

 

"No, thanks."   Kylo frowns.  Nestor might be his wingman for their incognito Coruscant club junkets, but he doesn’t need the Second Knight as his shipboard pimp.  Plus, it’s a useless task.  Because really there is only one woman onboard who could possibly be his peer, who would be deserving of a Sith's attention.  And Rey is off limits to him. 

 

All seven Knights of Ren tromp down the shuttle ramp together when a commotion nearby grabs his attention.  Kylo looks over in time to see Rey running towards them at top speed, her yellow dress and long hair flying behind her.  What the Hell?  If this is her escape plan, it’s damn lousy.  She’s ridiculously conspicuous, for one.  For another, storming his shuttle full of the Knights of Ren isn’t exactly wise.  He’s about to freeze her in the Force when a half second later, he watches as Rey falls in a hail of blaster fire.

 

“Shit, she’s dead,” Nestor breathes out the words Kylo is fearing. 

 

“Fuck!” Kylo swears as he rushes to her slumped form.  Those had better be stun bolts.  If not, she's dead and so are all those stormtroopers.   Kylo had been very clear with his orders:  he did not want the Leader’s prize damaged.  So if she is, there will be Hell to pay.

 

Kylo rolls Rey's unconscious form over.  "Stunned?" he demands of the trooper squad leader who walks up and snaps to attention.

 

"Yes, Sir.  Per your orders, Sir.  We saw her come in and opened fire, as instructed."

 

“Good work,” Kylo issues rare praise.  Then he frowns and hoists Rey up and over his right shoulder.  “Let’s get you that bacta patch,” he calls over his shoulder to Nestor. 

 

The troopers must have alerted ahead because Smath is waiting for him at the medibay entrance as he strides up fast with Rey limp and unresponsive.  Nestor is on right on his heels. 

 

"Shot or stunned?"  The old medic asks anxiously as he circles behind Kylo to look at Rey's unseeing pupils.

 

"Stunned.  But multiple times."

 

Smath makes a face.  Even stun bolts can be lethal in multiple doses.  Cardiac arrest is not uncommon. "How many?"

 

"Four or six.  Something like that."

 

Smath raises an eyebrow and directs him to an empty gurney.  Kylo lays Rey down gently and Smath calls over a nurse and they get to work.

 

"What happened to him?"  It's Nestor Ren talking.  Kylo follows his gaze to find General Hux unconscious on the floor across the room with a medic bending over him. 

 

Smath provides the answer. "Rey shot him.  Stunned him."

 

"The girl shot him?" Nestor asks incredulously.  "With what?"

 

Smath answers in perfect deadpan. "With his own sidearm."   He shoots Kylo a covert grin that tells him Hux deserved it.  Big time. The old medic is a straight shooter, Kylo knows from experience.

 

Nestor nods approvingly.  He's impressed. "Who knew she was so fierce?" 

 

"I did," Kylo admits.   "Don't let the pretty face fool you.  This girl is as tough as they come."    He walks over to stand at Smath's shoulder now, looking down at the unresponsive Rey.   She doesn’t look tough right now.  She looks fragile and small and vulnerable in her pastel dress. 

 

"She'll be alright,” the old healer decides after a moment.   “But boy is she going to feel it when she wakes up.  That was enough to stun a bantha, Ren.  It is a lot for a woman her size."

 

Kylo nods and at least outwardly he is unsympathetic.  "Then maybe she will learn her lesson.  How did this happen?  What made her dash into the hangar bay?"

 

The Imperial veteran sighs then glances over at the still sleeping redheaded general.   "Hux recognized her as the prisoner from the retreat.  They had words.  He tried to arrest her and she shot him and two troopers.”  It’s the to-the-point summary of a man long used to working the trauma ward in battlezones.  And while Smath doesn’t give details, his tone conveys his opinion of the blame.   Then he gives Kylo a curious look.  “Did Rey really blow up the Starkiller?"

 

"She took down the Starkiller?"  Now Nestor Ren is truly impressed. 

 

"Not singlehandedly," Kylo gripes, remembering for a brief moment the man he had once called father who had helped. 

 

"So Rey is a Resistance fighter?" Smath's face is pure consternation.  "Why didn't anyone tell me that?  The Leader told me she was his special guest back when she turned up in rags at his command center."

 

Kylo gives a non-answer.  "She’s not formally part of the Resistance.  But she was detained on the Starkiller."  

 

“Detained?  So she was a prisoner?”  Nestor Ren frowns. "Isn't she still a prisoner then?"

 

"Not really," Kylo decides.  "Not in the normal way.  You heard Smath—she’s Snoke’s special guest.”  He can tell that both men are unsatisfied with this answer, but there isn’t really an easy category to explain what Rey is.  And really, this girl is in a class by herself as far as Kylo is concerned.  He looks to the healer now.  “Is it safe to move her?"

 

"Yes," Smath advises.   “And it would be best to do so before the general over there wakes up.”

 

“Yeah,” Nestor grins over at Kylo.  “Hux is gonna be pissed.”  And Nestor Ren is clearly enjoying that fact.  Like the rest of the Ren, Nestor has an testy relationship with the elite of the regular military. 

 

"Good."  Kylo reaches down to hoist Rey over his shoulder again.  He'll take her back to his quarters so he can berate her in private.  Plus, he knows Rey will heal herself when she wakes.  And Kylo fully intends to be there to watch.

 

But first, he saunters over to look down at the still stunned Hux.   Gods, how he hates this redheaded fucker.  Still holding Rey, Kylo hauls back one boot to give the unconscious general a savage kick.  Yeah, he's kicking a man while he's down but he's a Sith and he's like that.  And Hux deserves it.  For whatever happened here today with Rey and for so much more.


	9. Chapter 9

Where is she? What happened? Rey sits up, wincing. Then she falls back, gasping with her eyes closed from the aching soreness that seems to permeate her body. She lays there another moment, gathering her wits, before opening her eyes at the sound of footsteps. Familiar fast, stomping footsteps. 

There’s only one person she knows who walks like that.

Sure enough, Kylo Ren is looming over her. His mask is off and his gloves and surcoat too. He’s wearing a black tunic, pants and boots. Something tells Rey this means that they are in private. Her eyes scan the room that looks very much like her own and Rey realizes that she’s lying on a couch in Kylo Ren’s personal quarters.

“You were stunned with a blaster,” he informs her without sympathy. “Five times. The troopers in the hangar bay have standing orders to shoot you on sight unless you are accompanied. I didn't think you needed to know that but it turns out you did.” He scowls at her. “I am promoting the men who intercepted you. Now all the others in the hangar bay have an incentive to stop you next time. If you are foolish enough to risk a next time.”

“Oh,” is all Rey says to this speech. 

He continues. “Hux is alive, in case you were wondering.” 

Not really. She is sorry/not sorry about Hux. And she's worried about bigger things now. "The Leader will be angry with me," Rey whispers her fear aloud. Will she be punished?

"Angry about Hux?” Kylo shrugs. “Truthfully, he'll probably laugh. The general isn't exactly in high favor currently."

That’s a relief. A big relief. Ignoring the discomfort, Rey hauls herself up to a sitting position. And now she ventures to ask, “Are you angry?” 

This time, the First Knight smirks. “Not about Hux. I've been wanting to shoot that bastard for years. If anything, I'm jealous.” Kylo half grins down at her. But his humor immediately fades and he crosses his arms over his chest and looks down that long nose of his at her. “I am angry that you tried to escape. Rey, you are forcing me to put you in a cell. Or to send you back to the Leader.”

And that’s the ultimate threat. Rey leaps to her feet and she’s standing close, her face and her hands up as she beseeches him. “No, please! Don't send me back to him! I promise I won't attempt an escape again. Really, I won’t. Just don't send me back. Please don’t!”

He raises an eyebrow provokingly. “Why not?” 

“He . . . He . . . “ Rey babbles as she can’t find the words to give voice to her fear. The fear that one day the Supreme Leader will grow tired of asking and so it will be the last time. May I sleep with you? And then it won’t matter what her answer is, for the outcome will be the same. Rey will end up raped and married to that monstrous Muun and then she might as well be dead. 

“He what, Rey?” Kylo goads her. And his dark eyes are boring into hers and she can’t think straight. This man is so intense. So magnetic. And standing so close. 

She blinks to break the moment and then sidesteps the question. “Just let me stay. Please! I promise I won't attempt to escape again. I was wrong! Just please don't send me back.” 

“I am not in the habit of granting second chances,” Kylo drawls. And now Rey realizes that she has revealed her fear and now he has all the leverage. Well, really, he's always had all the leverage. It’s like back on Jakku with Unkar Plutt. Rey learned this lesson long ago, and she’s not too proud to humble herself. Because when you are desperate and have no other options, you might as well beg.

Her hands come up to grip his arms. Maybe that’s overly familiar and disrespectful of the captain of this ship, but Rey has been putting her hands on Kylo Ren to heal for months now. In some ways, it feels natural. “Please,” she whispers. “Please don’t send me back to him.”

They stand like that for what feels like an eternity. Her face upturned to his and her hands begging for his mercy. They are inches apart and she can feel his breath on her cheek. And for a moment, a very long moment, she could swear that Kylo Ren was about to kiss her. 

But he doesn’t. He steps back and waves her onto his couch.

“Sit down. You are hurt. Heal yourself.”

Dutifully, she sits. Then glances over in surprise as he sinks down next to her. Close to her. Almost touching her.

Now again, his dark eyes are boring into hers and Rey is thoroughly distracted from the task at hand. So he prompts her once more. “Heal yourself. Now.” 

Rey just nods. What else can she do. She reaches out her mind now, letting her consciousness blur into the Force as she does so often these days. Feeling the rush of peaceful calm that quiets her mind and allows everything else to recede. Here there is no pain, no angst, no worry, no hurt. Just vibrant, pulsating life, restorative healing and unconditional acceptance. All is calm. All is right. It is in these fleeting moments that the humble scavenger Rey of Jakku is the Light of the world and whoever she touches will not walk in Darkness but will have the Light of life. 

Rey lingers in the netherworld of the Force, feeling it wash over her. For months she has given this power to others and only now does Rey realize how much she needs this for herself. Not just for the damage of the blaster stun shots, but for the fear and doubt in her soul from the ever-present threat of the Sith. 

Then she opens her eyes to see Kylo Ren staring at her. His eyes glitter at her and Rey recognizes the frightening look of barely restrained, near animal lust that she has seen in old Darth Plagueis. And like Snoke, Kylo wears the expression of a man who knows exactly what he wants and that he intends to get it. Behold, the ruthless Sith revealed. Then she blinks, he blinks and perhaps she imagined it all. The moment is gone. 

“That was beautiful,” Kylo tells her with hushed sincerity. “You are beautiful, Rey.” Then he smiles a little as he admits, “I have missed you. No one has asked me about the Force once these past two weeks.”

She nods and swallows hard. Wondering what is coming next. 

“I will let you stay onboard on two conditions. First, you will never again attempt to escape. And second, you will heal me whenever I ask. Are we agreed?”

That’s all he wants? Rey nods her immediate capitulation. After all, she had pretty much assumed these conditions existed anyhow. 

“Good.” He exhales and now so does she. “Now, let's order dinner. Are you hungry?” Kylo raises his hand and a datapad laying on a nearby table flies into his grip. He pokes at it and hands it to Rey. It’s open to the commissary app. The app is familiar to Rey by now, so she scrolls down until she finds what she wants. Then she hands it back.

Kylo raises an eyebrow. “Short rations? Is this a Jakku thing?” When she glares at him, he just chuckles. “Suit yourself.” 

“I like rations,” Rey feels compelled to explain. Suddenly, she’s defensive about Jakku and her no-frills tastes. Why do these Sith guys care what she eats anyway? “Snoke won't let me eat rations,” she grumbles. “He keeps trying to fatten me up.” 

Kylo nods his understanding. “He is controlling like that,” he tells Rey, his prisoner, without a trace of irony.

Not ten minutes later, two service droids appear to set the small table for two for dinner. Clearly, being the big boss on this ship earns you excellent and timely service, Rey thinks. Kylo has a real dinner. But even her humble ration muffin is artfully displayed on a china plate complete with a sprig of parsley. Kylo glances over at this, shakes his head and grins. She ignores him.

And as they begin to eat, Kylo reverts back to the discussion they had been having before dinner arrived. Ask me a question, he had baited her. Go on, ask me. So she had cheekily asked if he had killed anyone today. Not today, Kylo assured her. But there’s always tomorrow. So many Resistance fighters, he had leered wickedly, so little time.

Kylo now looks thoughtfully over at her from across the table. His flippant tone is gone. “The Resistance kills too. We lost 25,000 men on the Starkiller. Some of the officers had families stationed there with them. Mostly wives and children.” 

Rey had not known this. She frowns and looks down at her food. She says nothing.

So Kylo presses forward. “The blood of those innocents in on your hands, is it not?”

“I didn’t know they were there. And I didn’t mean to kill them,” she sputters out her objection. Rey had only wanted to help stop the First Order from continuing its reign of terror. There hadn’t been time to do a fact-finding mission and debate the merits. And even if she is a bit culpable, Rey rejects the comparison. “The First Order meant to kill everyone on Hosnia,” she points out. “You intended to kill innocents. So don’t pretend that we are the same.”

Kylo Ren sits back and nurses his wine glass. He gives her a measuring look now. “Do you think it would have made any difference to the Resistance if they had known that noncombatants were on the Starkiller?”

Rey thinks a moment. “No, no it would not. After what happened with the New Republic, they would have felt justified. Because they wanted to save other systems from the fate of Hosnia.”

“So the greater good would justify the collateral damage?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t think that the Resistance should have tried to persuade the First Order? That maybe we should have held talks and given peace a chance?” 

He’s mocking her, she sees. And it’s annoying. “Of course, not!” Rey scoffs. “You can’t reason with people who won’t listen to you.”

He leans forward, clearly enjoying wherever this discussion is heading. “Next are you going to tell me that this war represents a failure to listen?”

“What?” Huh?

He laughs at her puzzled reaction. “Rey, you lived on the Rim. You know what it's like. You know why the First Order exists. If the Old Republic or the New Republic had spent any effort to improve the lives of the average person in the galaxy, our cause would not exist. The people are angry, Rey. There were plenty out there who cheered the Starkiller. Because they knew you couldn't drain the swamp of the New Republic. You had to destroy it and start again. For the greater good, people had to die.” He glances over at her slyly. “It’s the same cost benefit analysis the Resistance would have done with the Starkiller. Because this is war and people die. Morality doesn’t enter into it.”

“That’s not true!” Is it? 

“It’s only genocide if you lose, Rey. One man's freedom fighter is another man's terrorist.” Kylo settles back in his chair and starts talking galactic politics. “The New Republic worried over trivial esoteric things and pushed the social boundaries of more traditional cultures. And all the while, they ignored the real underlying issues. That people need jobs. That they want a trade policy that doesn't exploit the Rim's resources and push down wages to make slave labor the benchmark for competition. That they want lower taxes and more to show for the taxes they do pay. That they want their kids to get an education and have opportunity.” 

“Fine, but the First Order is not the solution. You preach hate and violence.” Rey knows—she has seen the holovids and been forced to read the propaganda for hours by Snoke. 

The Sith is nonplussed by her righteousness. “That's just Hux. The man loves a microphone. But the people love him. He gives voice to their concerns. He gives a face to their anger. You should see how many hits Hux gets on the holonet.” Kylo shrugs and it’s clear that his respect for the redheaded general is begrudging. “There's always an angry loudmouth in politics. You shouldn’t take Hux literally, but you should take him seriously. Because a lot of people in the galaxy take him seriously.”

“But his message is so bitter,” Rey frowns. “So angry.”

Kylo nods at this assessment. “That's the mood of the galaxy right now.” Again, he looks at Rey thoughtfully for a moment before continuing. “Do you know what Mon Mothma and Leia Organa told the defeated Empire after the Battle of Jakku? That wars have consequences. Then they reformed the Senate and crammed down an election in which all members of the Imperial military were forbidden to vote or run for office. So, of course, the Rebels won everything. Do you know what they said then? That elections have consequences. Now that they had won a war and won a rigged election, they sent the Imperial elites into exile in the Rim flyover systems. There was never any attempt at reconciliation with the losers, never even lip service paid to being inclusive of dissent. Then the New Republic fools set out to destroy the galaxy with good intentions for the next thirty years.”

Kylo Ren’s voice is soft now, like he is confiding secrets. His approach is the polar opposite of General Hux’s holonet rants. It’s much more persuasive, Rey thinks. Not that she is persuaded.

“The New Republic made the same mistake that the Old Republic had. They denigrated the outlying systems that the galactic economy depended on. Dismissed their peoples as uneducated and uncultured. Condescended to them and marginalized their political defenders as throwback neo-Separatists.” 

And even uneducated and heretofore apolitical Rey knows that this is true. She’s a Rim girl and she knows that her area of the galaxy is full of exploited worlds with exploited people. 

Kylo must sense that he is making headway. He pours on the hard sell pitch as he stares her down. “Rey, the Rim worlds have been force fed the social dogma and political enlightenment of the Core for generations and they still don't like it. And they are tired of hearing it. Tired of being taken for granted. The First Order is their backlash. We are an alliance between the downtrodden of the Rim who have never had it good and the Imperial Exiles raised on stories of the Empire when it was good.” He smiles encouragingly at her now, his zeal shining out from his dark eyes. If anything, his voice is even more hushed as he resolves, “Our time has come. We're taking back the galaxy one system at a time. We will make the galaxy great again.” 

He believes what he says, Rey realizes. Believes it completely. He’s a Sith and he loves power. But Kylo Ren is no mercenary. No, his First Order path to power is a cause close to his heart and that makes this man especially dangerous, Rey thinks. Because this war is personal.

And in due time, she will come to understand just how personal.

But for now, she just considers his speech. Yes, she knows firsthand the squalor of the Rim. And the crime, deprivation and lack of opportunity that persists throughout its wide flung worlds of Have Nots. And while Rey has never been a particular loyalist to the New Republic, she didn’t want it destroyed either. To be honest, she never even considered the merits of the New Republic. Because Rey of Jakku is a pragmatic realist. And in the Rim, that makes you a skeptic cynic. Rey has no faith that politics can change life for the better for her or for anyone else on Jakku. And why waste your time hoping for a better future when you should be focused on survival for today. Ideals are a luxury, she knows. 

Kylo is looking at her like he expects her to say something. And Rey doesn’t know what to say. So she cracks a half-smile and attempts to tease him. To lighten the mood. “I never pegged you for a revolutionary.”

“I'm not,” he concedes, taking her words literally. “My family is, but I'm not. I'm a Sith. I want a safe and secure society with law and order. It will be best for everyone.” 

Yes, and it will all be gained through the threat of things like the Starkiller, Rey adds to herself. Rey is deeply dubious of Kylo Ren’s high-minded talk. The grand promises of the First Order all seem to have a dark undercurrent of violence. It’s only populism if there is popular support for these measures, right? And not popular support compelled by threat of force. 

“The Leader doesn't exactly strike me as a man of the people,” Rey observes pointedly.

“Oh, he's not,” Kylo assures her with a wide grin. It’s disconcerting how quickly this man switches between fervent idealist and sly sarcasm. “That Muun is an aristocrat through and through.” 

“And you're not a man of the people either, are you?” she challenges.

Kylo Ren seems to find this observation even more amusing. He leans forward in her chair to reveal, “I was born a prince of the blood, Rey.” 

“A Sith prince?” Really? Rey is skeptical of this too. “But I thought you said that Han Solo was your father. Han Solo was a smuggler.”

“My grandfather was a Sith. My father was a criminal. But my mother is a princess.” 

“Princess?” Rey echoes in surprise. And she mentally notes the use of present tense. His mother is alive, it seems. 

“Yes. My mother has made a lot of bad choices in life. Han Solo was one of many.” 

And now the puzzle that is Kylo Ren just got rearranged a bit more. “So your uncle is Luke Skywalker and your mother is a princess? And their father was a Sith?” 

“Yes.” He does not elaborate. Clearly, he’s enjoying disclosing bits and pieces of his mystery. “My family is complicated.”

Yes, clearly, she thinks. Rey is intrigued more than ever by Kylo Ren tonight. He’s the zealot Sith prince who’s standing between her and Snoke. But also between her and freedom. He’s a man disguised who takes off his mask for her and few others. But while he tells her select truths, still he keeps his secrets. He is a leader with a lofty vision of progress and reform, but he delivers mostly violence. And he seems to find no conflict between his agenda and his methods. He’s a man she watched kill his own father, but he speaks almost wistfully about his mother. Such a strange, compelling enigma is Kylo Ren. “Who are you?” Rey wonders aloud. 

The Sith’s dark eyes glitter at her. “One day, if you trust me and if I trust you, I will tell you the truth. All of it.” He says this like a promise, and it has a certain lure. Because now part of Rey wants to trust Kylo Ren. And wants him to trust her. It’s a dangerous thought about a dangerous man. Suddenly, Rey knows that she should leave. Right now. Because she has a bad feeling about this. Because somehow, some way, Rey knows that spending more time with Kylo Ren is a risky idea. 

“I’m finished,” she whispers, dropping her half-eaten protein muffin onto her plate as she stands so abruptly that she drops her napkin. She’s crossing in front of the sofa and heading to the door when he catches her arm.

“Sit down.” His words are a command. She looks over at him questioningly. "We're not done yet," he informs her. “Sit down.”

Instinctively, Rey complies. For when Kylo Ren gets this tone, she is reminded strongly of his Master Snoke.

She watches as Kylo returns to the table. He picks up his knife from dinner and meticulously cleans it off with his napkin. Then he approaches her, pulling up his left sleeve. Slowly, deliberately he drags the knife edge down the exposed underside of his left forearm. Blood rushes up as the blade slips down. It’s a bright red seam on his otherwise pale, pale skin. Rey looks on in morbid fascination at the self-inflicted wound. Doesn't that hurt? It must hurt. But he's a Sith, so Rey knows that he is long accustomed to pain. 

He comes to stand above her, holding out his wounded arm. It doesn’t look to be a deep cut, but it bleeds. Seeping in rivulets down his arm to dot the floor. 

"Heal me. I want you to heal me."

Rey has been healing compound fractured bones and cavernous flesh wounds since she arrived on the Finalizer. This is little more than a scratch, so it is simple to erase completely. Brief concentration is all that it requires and even then Rey doesn’t need to close her eyes. But she drags it out just to watch the Sith’s reaction. The sharp intake of breath, the eyes half closed, the involuntary shudder at her touch. This is pleasure, she realizes with a rush of insight. Intense, throbbing pleasure from healing his pain. 

“Yes,” he rasps. “Heal me . . . heal me . . .”

And when she is done he waits there a moment. Then again, he slashes at his arm. This time he is not controlled. The wound is violent. Deeper and longer. He flinches at the pain and the knife drops from his right hand to clatter to the floor. “More,” the Sith croaks out, his eyes riveted to her own. “Give me more.” 

She nods and then stares at the bloody wound. Maybe, Rey thinks, she has some leverage after all.


	10. Chapter 10

Shooting General Hux makes Rey an outcast in the medibay.  Hux is a hero to many in the First Order and popular sentiment onboard has him portrayed as a unfair scapegoat for the loss of the Starkiller.   Plus, Rey having been carried through the ship by the First Knight himself is apparently understood as a declaration of allegiance.  All of Smath's personnel now seem to assume that Rey is on Team Kylo.  And, as between Kylo and General Hux, that's probably true.  But it makes for a tense work environment. 

 

It doesn’t help matters that everyone onboard the _Finalizer_ now seems to know that Rey has the Force.   She gets wary looks from passersby in the hallways and her coworkers seem especially nervous to speak with her.  And maybe that’s understandable.  All that the First Order rank and file know of the Force are Kylo's Dark Side tantrums and that Luke Skywalker murdered the old Emperor and Darth Vader after the two men had offered to pardon the Jedi and let him rule the Empire with them. 

 

Yes, if Rey didn't belong before, she certainly doesn’t now.

 

Chief Healer Smath says nothing about the whole matter.  But still, Rey feels compelled to broach the subject privately in his office.  I am sorry about what happened, Rey tells him contritely.  I’m not a violent person.  Really.  Smath raises an eyebrow at this claim and Rey colors to the roots of her hair as she realizes that he had probably treated Kylo Ren after their Starkiller duel.  It would be wise to avoid bragging about destroying the Starkiller around here, Smath admonishes gravely.  There are many onboard who lost friends and family that day.  Rey just nods as she blinks back tears.  For she had lost friends that day too.

 

As the chastised Rey turns to leave, the Chief Healer stops her.  Are you coming with us tomorrow?   Coming where, she asks.  On the relief mission.  The old veteran leans back in his chair and crosses his arms while he looks up at Rey.  Yes . . . you should come with us.  It will show you another side to the First Order, Lady Rey.  I’ll message Ren about it.

 

Then Rey gets to work healing an unlucky stormtrooper who was in an accident in the hangar bay.  Rey is deep in concentration when there is a hush and an instant chill in the normally bustling medibay.  Vaguely, Rey is aware of people around her straightening to stand.  It catches her attention and she sees many eyes looking at her. 

 

No, not at her.  Behind her. 

 

The First Knight stands sentinel at her shoulder looming over Rey.   In a surprise move, Kylo Ren himself has come down from the bridge to discuss Smath’s proposal.  Slowly, Rey retreats from the Force so as not to jar her unconscious and sedated patient.  Then she silently stands to follow Kylo to Smath's office, trying to ignore the many eyes that trace their retreat.  

 

"Where is this mercy mission?" Kylo demands.

 

The Chief Healer names some world that Rey has never heard of.

 

"Where is that?" Rey wants to know.

 

Kylo’s ugly black and silver mask turns to her. "The Eastern Reaches of the Outer Rim.  It makes Jakku look like Coruscant."

 

"It’s the usual humanitarian stuff.  We're vaccinating children and doing a triage health clinic," Smath explains.  "We do this all the time and we've got it down to a science.  It's four hours maximum on site.  The rest is travel time."

 

"Why do you need her to vaccinate kids?"  Kylo isn't going for it.

 

"She won't be.  Rey will be in the clinic with me. It's usually broken bones, childhood illnesses, sick babies.  Non-emergency cases like that.  There’s a lot of need for routine medical care on worlds like this that have no basic services."

 

"What's the travel time?"

 

"Four or five hours.  We leave at 0500 tomorrow."

 

"Permission granted," Kylo decides in a surprise move.  "But I'm coming with you, Smath.  And Rey travels solo with me."

 

The next morning, Kylo Ren spends pretty much the entire flight on one com call after another.  Rey listens to his side of the conversations as she surfs the holonet.  It’s a never-ending monologue in which the First Knight issues orders, chews out officers, and argues strategy.  Only once, in a brief five-minute break between coms, does Kylo attempt to engage Rey in conversation.   It’s politics again.

 

“Who did you vote for in the election last year?”

 

“I didn't vote.”

 

“Why not?” he presses.

 

Rey shifts in her seat a bit.  “I'm not very political . . . ” she begins.

 

“And?”

 

“And my vote wouldn't have made a difference anyway.”  It’s the truth, too.  Why bother standing in line in the hot sun?

 

Kylo nods at her words.  “Rey, you're not the only citizen who has dropped out of the process in disgust. The First Order gives a voice to people like you.”

 

Now Kylo sounds like the holonet propaganda films, she thinks.  But Rey knows that the message of the First Order doesn’t match its reality.  And she calls Kylo on it. 

 

“No, the First Order doesn’t speak for me.  The First Order I know only brings violence and death.  Your Leader loves war.”

 

Kylo is unexpectedly patient with her bitterness.  “Actually, Snoke loves credits almost as much as power.  He's a businessman at heart.  I’m the one who likes war.  I am a warrior Sith like my grandfather.  My Master is more of an executive Sith.”

 

Darth Plagueis is a businessman?  An executive?  Rey isn’t buying it.  “Snoke is far scarier than that,” she observes.

 

And this comment makes Kylo laugh out loud.  “Never underestimate an insider businessman who rides a movement of outsider rage to power.  Rey, my Master has broken the galaxy in two once before with the Separatist movement.  This time it's the First Order.  Snoke knows what he’s doing.”

 

Kylo sits back now and warms to his theme of the disenfranchised.  “Rey, did you know that most of the galaxy's population lives outside the Rim?  If the New Republic had apportioned its Senators fairly, the Rim would have had a majority.  But that would have empowered the Imperial Exiles.  So the New Republic created the electoral college to stop them.  It ensures that the Core wins every one of their so-called democratic elections.”  Kylo looks away as he complains, “All who gain power are afraid to lose it.  Not just the Sith.”

 

Rey is lost in this reasoning.  “I thought that the electoral college protected the minority.”

 

“Perhaps, but it suppresses the popular will. Isn't the essence of democracy supposed to be majority rule?”

 

Rey frowns at this, uncertain how to respond.   She knows she’s out of her depth when it comes to debating political strategy with this Sith.  Politics has never interested Rey much. 

 

Kylo must sense her confusion because he cajoles, “Rey, you must unlearn what you think you know.   The First Order is not all bad and neither is the Resistance all good.  Keep an open mind, that's all I ask.”

 

Rey is about to respond when Kylo is interrupted by another com.  Some officer somewhere needs his permission to execute a prisoner.  Permission granted.  And that sort of chills prisoner Rey’s desire to debate the democratic process further with the Apprentice.  Disturbed, she just turns away.  

 

Their destination turns out to be a humid, temperate and green world that strongly reminds Rey of Takodana. She is glued to the window of Kylo's empty command shuttle as they land.  The sight of so much green fills her with happiness.  Just seeing it has made Rey's day. 

 

When they land, there is already a crowd assembled.  Mostly human women and children, Rey sees. In no time, a series of tents are erected and a makeshift field hospital emerges.  Smath was right, the efficient First Order has these tasks down, she thinks.

 

Rey is wearing medical scrubs for the first time. Ren's orders, Smath had told her when he handed them to her.  In the scrubs, Rey blends in and, at least to the casual observer, Rey is one of the team.  And that is a surprisingly good feeling, even if it's the First Order Medical Corps. 

 

Walking past scared children crying as they progress through the assembly line that will give them six standard vaccinations each, Rey can’t help but wonder about their lives.  Some of the children look very, very slim.  With dark circles and dull, sunken eyes that speak of malnutrition.  It's unnervingly familiar.  And while it would be uncomfortable for anyone to ponder, it is especially upsetting for Rey of Jakku.

 

She takes one last long look.  Then she swallows hard and gets down to work.  She's happy to be here today off the _Finalizer_ on an unexpected junket.  To breathe air that is not refreshed and recycled, and to feel natural gravity.  Plus, Rey is going to help people in need.   Leader Snoke had called the Force a gift, and more and more Rey has come to see his perspective.   It is a gift to be able to heal people.  And today, Rey gets to share that gift with average, ordinary people.   There is no moral complexity here to contend with, for these are not First Order soldiers fighting a war.  These are private citizens trying to live out their lives and care for their families.  There is nothing to potentially feel conflicted about in today’s work.  For even though Rey wears the uniform of the First Order, this is apolitical. 

 

Well, sort of. 

 

Kylo Ren is off to the side surrounded by several officers, a herd of local officials and, of all things, a camera crew.  The First Order loves feel good PR, Kylo had told her on the shuttle ride.  He never goes on one of these humanitarian relief missions without a camera crew in tow.  On occasion, I do more than make war, Kylo had assured her.  But what’s the point in all these good works if no one gets to see them?

 

"This isn't your thing, is it?" Rey had teased him without thinking.  And then she had blanched and cringed, suddenly remembering that she probably ought to be sucking up to Kylo Ren today so he will keep her away from Snoke.

 

But Kylo had just laughed off her implicit criticism, telling her that "War is far more exciting."

 

Three hours later, Rey feels like she has made a difference.  She looks around at the group of newly vaccinated children playing just beyond the First Order’s temporary tent city and over at an old grandmother waiting patiently in her hoverchair to see a medic.  Yes, Rey thinks, today the First Order has atoned a little for its brutality.  Today it has helped people.  And today makes her wonder if some of the propaganda Snoke has made her read might actually be true. 

 

Rey is spent now on Force healing.  She has learned to safeguard her stamina and to conserve her strength.  So when she is done, she is done.  Rey catches Smath's eye and he nods his understanding.  The Chief Healer is the only one on the medical staff who understands her job enough to know that it has real limits.   Healing with the Force might be magical, but it is also hard work. 

 

Rey wanders out to watch the playing children. Again, she notices how thin some of them are.  A few are even barefoot. Rey knows nothing about this world other than its name and its First Order allegiance, but she recognizes poverty when she sees it. 

 

She hears footsteps crunching in the gravel behind her and glances back to find Kylo Ren.   He's alone, and that's unusual today.  He steps up to her shoulder and stops. 

 

"Are you done?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Good.  Let's go."

 

Rey nods. But she lingers a moment more watching the children and so does he.  Quietly, Rey asks him, "How many of these kids are going to end up as stormtroopers?"

 

"We have more enlisted troopers than conscripts, Rey."

 

"How many?" 

 

"Only the lucky ones." His cynicism is biting.  She looks to Kylo sharply and he explains in a softer tone. "Say what you will about the Order, Rey, but our stormtroopers don't starve." 

 

That comment cuts very close to home.  Rey looks away.   Which, of course, means that she looks back at the children.  They range from skinny to gaunt.  One and all, they are undersized, underfed and probably undereducated too.  They will grow up to have very few options in life, Rey knows from personal experience.  Not unless the First Order wins the war and actually makes good on its promises.  Because truly, the First Order is the best hope anyone on this backwater planet has for a prosperous future. 

 

“Let’s go,” Kylo prompts softly.

 

Yes, it’s time to go.  And so unsettled is she, that Rey takes off at a run to his waiting command shuttle.  It’s like she’s back on Takodana confused and reeling after touching that lightsaber the first time.  All Rey can think is that she has to get away.  Kylo’s black shuttle is prepped and idling, ready for takeoff at a moment's notice with two troopers flanking the ramp.  They don't stop her as she flies onboard. 

 

Yes, she needs to get away from this place.  Away from the suffering that reminds Rey of her former self.  She can't look at those malnourished kids without remembering what it felt like to go to sleep hungry night after night. She can't look at all the telltale signs of poverty without remembering her own hardship.  Rey of Jakku knows desperation.  Knows despair. She knows what it is to be these people the First Order helps today.

 

And she also knows that had the First Order ever come to Jakku, she would gladly have accepted their help.   And then she might have been cheering the Starkiller instead of blowing it up.

 

Rey furtively wipes away tears as she hears heavy footsteps up the ramp.  It must be Kylo. No one stomps around quite like Kylo.  Rey whirls to see him enter the shuttle, peeling off his mask as he goes.  He doesn't pause, he keeps marching forward until he takes her in his arms. And now Rey is full-on crying now.  Ugly crying in the arms of Kylo Ren.  

 

This isn’t the first time this has happened, but somehow it's less humiliating this time around. 

 

"I wish the Order had come to Jakku," he speaks low into her ear. "I wish we could have helped you."

 

"I would have ended up a stormtrooper," she complains between hiccupping sobs as she pulls back from him.

 

And this makes Kylo smile slightly.  He brushes back a lock of hair that has fallen from her ponytail. "You're too good a shot to be a stormtrooper," he assures her. "We would have made you a gunner.  I remember how well you can shoot."  Then Kylo grins wickedly.  “Hux probably does too.”

 

Rey frowns and sniffs.  "You were hunting me then," she accuses.

 

"I was hunting the droid," he counters. "You were in the way.”  And now his voice drops its teasing note. He’s earnest now.   “You and I are accidental enemies, Rey.  In a different set of circumstances, we would be allies.  Maybe even friends."

 

Allies.  Friends.  Together in the First Order.  He’s compelling when he speaks this fervently, Rey thinks.  When he believes what he’s saying so much that it makes you want to believe it too.  This is Kylo Ren, a man who is as feared and hated within the First Order as he is amid the galaxy at large.  But when the private man behind the mask gets like this one-on-one, he is so disarming.  Oddly charismatic. 

 

Kylo lifts her chin now with his gloved hand.  More tears leak out.   Gently, he wipes them away.

 

"Let go of your hate, Rey.  I'm not asking you to join the First Order. I just want you to understand it. There are two sides to every conflict.  And this conflict is more complex than most.”  Kylo looks her squarely in the eye now.  “We are not the bad guys.  I know because I have been on both sides of this war.”

 

Rey blinks at him, shocked at this revelation.  “Who are you?” she whispers.

 

“I’m a Skywalker,” he tells her proudly.  “And I will bring peace, freedom, justice and security to a new Empire.  Things will be better once we win the war.  You’ll see.”

 

His confident words give her pause.  Not for the galaxy, but for herself.  Kylo Ren looks forward to his glorious future he has planned.   But where will it leave her?  Best case, living with creepy old Darth Plagueis until he tires of her.  And worse case, dead.  Or maybe Rey has those two options reversed.  She isn’t sure. 

 

Looking up at Kylo now, his dark hair all askew with one long lock fallen in front of his eyes, Rey can’t help but think that if she has to be a captive lover to a Sith, she wishes it were to Kylo Ren.  The young, quirkily handsome Apprentice who had kissed her breathless in the training room and then pretended it had never happened.   The man who cuts himself so that he can feel her healing Light.   The prince who killed his father and murdered her friends.

 

Rey looks away.  She’s doing it again—thinking of the future.  With an expertise born of long practice, she pushes those thoughts away and buries them deep.  Tomorrow has never been promised to her.  So Rey of Jakku will live life as she always has.  Surviving one day at a time.   


	11. Chapter 11

The Resistance base has been found.  Well, one of them.  All of the intelligence and scouting reports suggest that this Resistance location is the size of a minor outpost rather than a full-scale base of operations.  But this discovery is at least something to show for weeks of work.  And, it has the added benefit of proving Kylo’s initial hunch correct.  The Resistance has indeed split up its forces to diversify its reach and its risk.  This made it especially gratifying for Kylo to assign to the doubting General Hux the command for the attack. 

 

The primary goal for today is to dislodge the Resistance and to disperse them, hopefully to the other hidden Resistance locations.  Kylo has made this point very clear:  do not destroy them all.  He wants plenty of Resistance ships to escape so that they can be followed.

 

The secondary goal is to capture Resistance officers.  Kylo wants command level prisoners to interrogate.  And that's the stated excuse for him and his Knights to join the regular military boots on the ground.   It has been too long since he has been in combat, and Kylo is anxious to try out his new skills from Snoke's training.  Today he will get his chance.

 

If all goes as planned, this battle will be little more than a skirmish and it won't even overtly look like a victory.  But it is the first time that the First Order and the Resistance have directly engaged since the Starkiller.  Passions are running high among his men.  Everyone onboard the _Finalizer_ knew at least one martyr on the Starkiller.  So for many he commands, today is mostly about revenge.  Kylo is a Sith, so he understands.  Once enough Resistance ships escape and their officers are captured, Kylo Ren will let the rank and file of the First Order vent their rage on the remaining Resistance fighters.

 

The First Knight now strides with arms stiff and fists clenched into the organized chaos that is the _Finalizer_ hangar bay preparing for combat operations.  He stands there a moment observing.  The excitement and unabashed bloodlust in the air fuels his focus.  Kylo lets the feeling wash over him, bathing him in Darkness.   Then he marches into his command shuttle and off to war. 

 

* * *

 

"Coming through."  A medtech jostles Rey as she scoots by carrying a large box of bacta patches.  Rey steps back for the woman to pass.  Rey stands idle but all around her there is activity as the _Finalizer_ medibay mobilizes for battle casualties.  There are medical capsules and gurneys stationed with runners in the hangar bay, ready to ferry the wounded arriving on transports.  Nearby there are carts laden with blood plasma transfusions and pain relief injections at the ready.  All the large bacta tanks are empty and prepped for immediate use. 

 

"Make way."  Here come two more medtechs heading out to the hangar bay triage unit.  One is pushing a cart of oxygen tanks.  The other carries equipment Rey vaguely recognizes as a tourniquet. 

 

Standing at Rey's side, overseeing these preparations, is the Chief Healer's assistant.  The assistant is a no-nonsense, efficient woman who is the calm in the eye of this storm.  Rey silently watches as the assistant checks off a list on her datapad as more supplies pass by.  No one is going to die today because we're not ready, the assistant tells Rey with pride.  We may not fight, but we do our part. 

 

Up saunters one of the senior surgeons now.    Male or female, the surgeons in the medibay are all obnoxious in Rey's experience.  This woman is no exception.  She glances dismissively towards Rey before addressing Smath's assistant.  "What's the magic girl doing here?"

 

"Rey gets any lightsaber wounds that come in today."

 

"What--is Luke Skywalker himself down there?"

 

"Who knows?  But Ren is and you know he always cuts someone up."

 

The surgeon looks curiously at the assistant. "Didn't you hear?   Ren ordered no quarter.   We're not going to get wounded prisoners today."

 

"No quarter?" Rey echoes.  Perhaps she shouldn't be shocked at this brutality from Kylo Ren, but she is.  Then again, this is the man who told her that there is no morality in war.

 

"Yeah, no quarter," says the surgeon woman with an ugly, tight smile. "It's payback for the Starkiller.   I predict that today will turn out to be a light day, ladies.  We’re all going to be bored."

 

The combat operations last eight hours from start to finish, during which time all medibay personnel are on duty.   But the surgeon is correct and the influx of First Order casualties is light.   It’s six hours in now and Rey hasn’t seen one Resistance casualty come through.  Rey is standing around idle and bored, and she’s not the only one. 

 

Then a patient comes in on the double.  It must be a critical case because a medic is riding the gurney, straddling the patient and doing manual chest compressions until he can be hooked up to artificial life support.  The two medtechs pushing the gurney are spouting off jargon that Rey can't hear and wouldn't understand as they hand over the case.   Rey wouldn't be interested except that closely following the gurney are Nestor Ren and two troopers with guns drawn. 

 

Clearly, the patient is the enemy. And whoever this is, they are being shown quarter after all.

 

Rey hears her name as she is called over to assist. The patient is an old man with flowing white hair who wears a Resistance uniform with the name Ematt on his chest plate.  He has a hole in his left shoulder above his heart.  The wound is nearly cauterized, the telltale sign of the super-heated plasma blade of a lightsaber.  It’s a wound that could only have come from one man.

 

"Keep him alive, Lady Rey," Nestor Ren tells her as each trooper grabs one of the patient’s hands and handcuffs it to the gurney railing. "Kylo is going to have a long chat with this one." 

 

Once the old man’s cardiac arrest brought on by shock is stabilized, someone administers a stim shot and a pain killer.  Another person straps an oxygen mask over the man's head.  Then they all step back for Rey to work. 

 

The stim shot kicks in seconds later and the man bolts upright, his eyes popping open and his bound hands yanking at his handcuffs.  Rey smiles reassuringly down at the injured man.  “Lay back, please.  Try to relax.  You have been wounded.  My name is Rey and I’m going to help you.  This won't hurt.”

 

The man’s eyes are wide as they dart around the room, taking in the troopers and lingering on Nestor Ren standing at her shoulder.  And then finally settling on Rey.   The man is in pain, she knows through the Force.  And he is confused.

 

His confusion is understandable.  Rey knows that she looks incongruous in the medibay.  Fully made up with her hair piled high and a beige dress on, she doesn’t remotely resemble a competent First Order medic.  But it is what it is.  Fancy dresses are all Rey owns. 

 

“Would you give us some space?” Rey quietly asks of Nestor Ren.  He nods and waves back the troopers too.  Then Rey pulls the privacy curtain around her and the patient to block out all distractions.  This will will not be easy, she knows.  But with a deep breath, Rey summons the Force and gets to work.

 

Her fears turn out to be well founded, for healing this wound is difficult.  Especially when the patient keeps talking to her and diverting her concentration.

 

“Let me die . . . please.”  The old man begs, his voice muffled slightly by the oxygen mask and slurred no doubt from the pain.  Rey’s heart goes out to him.  His timeworn face looks so frightened but also resigned.  He’s as old as Smath, she thinks, maybe even older.  Rey wonders if this man was a Rebellion veteran before he joined the Resistance. 

 

“You will not die from this,” Rey tells him softly.  “The wound is not mortal, but it is serious due to its placement near the heart.  You were in shock when you came in.  But you are out of danger now.”

 

Again, he beseeches her.  “Then kill me.  Please.  I’d rather die than be interrogated.” 

 

He doesn’t want to reveal the Resistance secrets he knows, Rey realizes.  And having been through interrogation with Kylo Ren herself, Rey completely understands this man’s fear.  “It will hurt,” she tells him.  He might as well be prepared.  “But it will be over quickly.” 

 

“What will?”

 

“When Kylo Ren gets in your mind.  I know.  He's done it to me.” 

 

“To you?” the man asks in confusion.  “Aren’t you in the First Order?”

 

Rey sidesteps the question.  She’s really struggling with her focus now.  But at least the wound is closing faster than she expected.  Already the injured man looks so much better now than he had just a few minutes ago, Rey observes.  “Kylo Ren can take what he wants,” Rey says simply.  And that’s the truth when it comes to interrogating a non-Force user.  “It’s all sort of a blur afterwards.  You’ll have a bad headache for a few hours.”

 

The Resistance officer nods at her.   “Will he take off the mask?  I want to see what that kid looks like now.”

 

Huh?  This comment succeeds in jolting Rey completely out of her concentration.  “You knew him?” she whispers.  Suddenly, Rey is intrigued. 

 

The enemy officer looks Rey in the eye.  “I knew the boy he used to be.  Before he called himself Kylo Ren.”

 

“Ben,” she whispers.  “Ben Solo.”

 

“Yes.”  And now it’s the patient’s turn to be intrigued.  “Did you know him too?  You look too young for that.”

 

“No,” Rey shakes her head.  “No, I never knew Ben Solo.  I only know Kylo Ren.”

 

“But you know who he is.  Who he really is.  Not many people do.”

 

Does she know who Kylo Ren truly is?  Not really.  But Rey nods anyway and plays along.

 

“She still loves him.  Can you believe that?  After all that that kid has done, she still loves him.”

 

“Who loves him?”  Rey isn’t following.

 

“His mother.” 

 

“The princess?” Rey guesses. 

 

“Yes.  But she won’t let you call her that now.”  Thanks to the Force, the patient’s shoulder wound is closed and his pain is greatly lessened.  He has color back in his cheeks and his deep set, intelligent eyes are now sharp and focused.  “Who are you?” he demands of Rey.  “How do you know all this?”

 

Rey says nothing.

 

“You don't even look like a medic.  What exactly did you do to me?” 

 

“I'm not a medic.”  Rey will freely admit this.  “I healed you with the Force.”

 

“With the Force?” he echoes in disbelief.  “Are you some sort of Jedi?”

 

“Are we almost done here, Lady Rey?”  Nestor Ren’s voice interrupts them from behind the curtain.  He’s impatient.    “Kylo is anxious to get in this guy's head.”

 

Rey finishes inspecting her handiwork.  It’s isn’t particularly pretty, but it is serviceable.  She slaps a bacta patch on the man’s chest and surreptitiously slips him another pain shot.  If nothing else, it will dull the pain of Kylo Ren rifling through his head.

 

“Yes. I'm done,” Rey calls out to Nestor Ren.  And before she stands to push back the curtain, Rey leans over her patient to whisper, “I’m not a Jedi.  I am a prisoner here, just like you.”   

 

The man looks at her thoughtfully.  She can tell he doesn’t believe her.

 

An hour later, Rey's shift is not yet through when her escort of stormtroopers arrives early to walk her back to her quarters.  We're here early by Ren's orders, the squad leader informs her.  So Rey dutifully follows.  They deposit her back at her quarters, the door closes and locks, and Rey is alone.

 

She's surrounded by fifty thousand other people on this star destroyer, but still she is alone.  Yes, whether she is on desolate Jakku or amid the bustling technical splendor of the First Order, Rey is alone.  Maybe that's her lot in life, she thinks.  But her current alternative is to live as the Supreme Leader’s pet.  So, all in all, she’ll take alone. 

 

Rey reaches up to start pulling pins from her hair.  Now that she's no longer at the Leader's command post, she forgoes the elaborate waves and curls that seemed to please the old Munn.  Rey who works in the _Finalizer_ medibay needs a more practical hairstyle.  It's a far cry from her old trio of knots, but the grooming droid Milo sent with her now mostly arranges Rey’s hair in variations of a chignon.  Rey unwinds today's coiffure and rakes her hands through her hair, enjoying the sense of release that comes with letting her hair down. Her dress is stained today, as so often happens from her Force healing.  So, she slips it off to be laundered and grabs her sheer pink robe to wrap around her.  

 

For the umpteenth time, Rey wishes that Smath would let her wear scrubs on a regular basis like the rest of the medibay crew.  But that request has been politely declined.  You are not crew, you are the Supreme Leader's special guest, Smath had told her.  The Leader prefers you to look like his guest when you are onboard.  Which Rey took to mean that the controlling Sith just wants her to continue to be his dress up doll.  And that makes Rey feel quite the rebel now as she stands barefoot with her hair streaming in a fancy peignoir robe over her bra and panties.  No doubt Milo and the creepy Muun would not approve of her relaxed and mismatched dishabille.  But whatever.  She’s in her quarters alone and they are lightyears away.   

 

Time for some holonet surfing and maybe some binge-watching, she thinks.  So Rey wanders back into the main room to retrieve her charging datapad just as the door sounds with a soft whoosh.  The unexpected noise startles her and she whirls to see that she has an unannounced visitor. 

 

It's Kylo Ren.  And he’s holding a knife.

 

* * *

 

"Oh!" Rey says softly as she turns around in surprise.  It's an involuntary, small little word.  But it arrests him.   She arrests him.

 

Kylo has barged in without invitation, so Rey’s surprise is to be expected.  But her appearance is not.  Kylo has spent the last ten minutes since her trooper escort had departed attempting to talk himself out of doing this.  And in those ten minutes, clearly Rey has made herself comfortable.  The regal, controlled looking hair bun that reminds him of his mother has been taken down.  The long sleeved, demure dress is off.  Rey stands before him with her long hair streaming wearing a sheer pink robe through which he has a barely obstructed view of her black lace panties and bra.

 

Kylo stares.  Rey looks like a woman who is waiting for her lover.  Not a medic who just got off duty.  Damn, Kylo is glad that he didn't talk himself out of this.  Because this view alone is worth his humiliation.

 

"Can I help you?" Rey asks stiffly, clutching the robe closed at the neck in a useless gesture to preserve her modesty.  The robe is so sheer that he can see everything.  Kylo stares silently a minute longer and she prompts him again. "Do you need something?"

 

Yes, he needs something.  He needs her.  Desperately.  And that's why he is here now.   He wishes he knew how to explain this, how to put his shame into words she would understand.  Confessing weakness is hard for any man.  But especially for Kylo Ren.

 

He is supposed to be immune to the Light.

 

Struggling for how to begin, Kylo gives Rey the succinct report he might give his Master.  “The day is a success.  The Resistance base is routed.  The escaping ships are being tracked.  Their captured officers are all interrogated and terminated.  The rest are dead.” 

 

She’s frowning at him now.  Looking concerned.  And that touches him because no one is ever concerned about him.  Maybe that’s part of the problem.   "Are you hurt?" she asks, ignoring his grim summary.

 

Yes, he is hurt.   Hurt in deeply private and lingering ways that he cannot ever seem to get past.  He has tried to fix it through power and through blood. Through achievements and headlines. Through communing with artifacts and killing his father.  Nothing seems to work.  Darkness doesn’t make the problem better, it only makes it worse.  The only answer seems to be the Light, for more than ever Kylo Ren craves it so.

 

“Rey,” he looks her in the eye as he confesses the disgraceful truth, “I am called to the Light.  And the darker my deeds, the stronger the call.  And today was . . . was . . . ”  His voice trails off. 

 

There is a long moment of silence.

 

Finally, Rey whispers, “No quarter.” 

 

“No quarter,” he confirms. 

 

He is a Sith, and he does what needs to be done.  He does not hesitate.  He shows no mercy.  And today he had permitted the entire First Order invasion force to act as Sith.  The result had been a gratuitous bloodbath at the Resistance base.  A veritable orgy of destruction and death.  And he had supervised it all.

 

His surcoat is off and his cowl too.  So Kylo reaches up to unfasten his undertunic at the neck.  His eyes never leave hers as he continues to unbutton it down his side.  Slowly it comes apart to hang open to the waist, baring his chest.   

 

He sees her eyes stare a moment and then look away.  Looking anywhere but at his hard muscles with a smattering of dark chest hair.  Then her eyes find his left hand and the small stiletto vibroblade he is nervously twirling.  She looks at it steadily and Kylo knows that she understands.  She meets his eyes and softly tells him, “Yes, I will heal you.”

 

Those are the most welcome words he’s heard all day.  More welcome than the triumphant news of his victory, than the juicy secrets that fell from the enemy officers’ lips, than the ‘you were right, Ren’ that Hux had muttered on his way out.  Rey will heal him of his sins.  She and her Light will make it all better. 

 

Kylo activates the small vibroblade with the Force.  Then he walks towards Rey, dragging the knife edge down the center of his chest as he goes.  It’s a long, shallow cut.  She’s watching him bleed, but he’s watching her.  Seeing her alarm, her concern and, yes, her involuntary fascination.  If the cut stings, he doesn’t notice because his attention is fully on her.  On this beautiful healing priestess of the Light he had found wearing rags in the woods one afternoon.  Does she know that what's being healed here is not this superficial bloody scratch, but an invisible long festering wound? 

 

“Kylo,” she breathes out his name more than says it.  Then her hands are on his bare chest, bloodied from his wound, and her Light engulfs him.  It shimmers in his mind’s eye, like sunlight dancing on water. 

 

And, oh, how he needs this today as counterpoint to his Darkness.  For the Light does not overwhelm you with its awesome power, it leads by example and waits patiently for you to follow.  It does not dominate and demand capitulation, instead it beckons you over with a smile.  It does not divide, it unites.  It does not condemn, it forgives. It will not harm, it heals.  It is beautiful.  Merciful.   Sincere. 

 

Panting, Kylo throws his head back and surrenders to her power.  “Yes,” he rasps. “Heal me . . . heal me . . .” All he needs is to find in her Light a temporary balance to his Darkness.  That’s all this is—just a little hit of the forbidden Light.  And then Kylo Ren will dive headlong once more unto the breach of Darkness to make war again.   Peace is a lie, after all.

 

This Sith has known for years that he is not immune to the Light.  No, shameful as it is, Kylo Ren is weak for the Light.  It is the comfort he will always need, for the Dark Side takes its toll.  Maybe, he has theorized, he needs to manage his weakness instead of fighting it.  And that had been his justification for entering Rey’s quarters tonight.  He will take a little Light every now and then when he needs it.  Just a little, and that’s all. 

 

Then suddenly, all that beautiful Light is gone far too soon.   Rey is finished and he is healed without any mark to evidence tonight’s self-indulgence.

 

Her hands are still on him, and she’s standing close.  “Is it enough?” she asks.  Maybe it’s because Rey remembers him cutting himself twice last time.  Or maybe it’s because Rey knows that he is Sith, and Sith always want more.  But Gods bless this woman because again she asks, “Do you need more?” 

 

“Yes,” he groans.  Or maybe it’s a growl.  But it’s an animal need that he cannot restrain.  For once one taboo has been broken tonight, this Sith is ready to break another.  Because to Hell with it all, he’s Kylo Ren, Sith Apprentice and Commander of the First Order, and he can take whatever he wants.  So Kylo drops the blade he clutches to the floor.  Then his arms come up to clasp Rey even as his lips come down to claim her.   The woman might be his Master’s, but tonight Kylo Ren does not care. 

 

He’s kissing her breathless, burying his hands in her hair as he thrusts his tongue in her mouth.  Rey is caught off guard.  But seconds later, he has worn down her initial stiffness and she is reaching her hands up around his neck.  “Thank you,” he whispers between kisses.  “Thank you for your Light.”  His hands are up under her loose robe now and his thumbs are up under her bra.  This woman is practically naked already, but that’s not enough for Kylo.  A minute later, her robe is off and the bra is on the floor.  Rey is moaning softly as she arches against him.  She ought to be stopping him, but she’s not.  Gods, he thinks, this is like one of those wild fever dreams he’s had of her.  Tonight Rey is like a fantasy come true.

 

So Kylo keeps going.  He breaks their kiss to reach down and sweep her legs out from under her.  He’s got her held fast in his arms as he strides from the room.  Then his tunic is off and they’re on Hux’s bed together.  His skin is on her skin.  Her body writhes under his.  And now Kylo Ren wants more.  He wants her.  He wants her Light.  He wants it all. 

 

“You are so beautiful, Rey.  You and your Light are so, so beautiful.”  He means these words as sincerely as any he has ever spoken.  “Don’t make me be alone tonight,” he tells the girl who knows loneliness keenly.

 

“Kylo, I—I—“  He can hear the hesitation in her voice.  And as he strokes down her hip and thigh, he senses her panic a little.

 

“Give yourself to me.”  This comes out more like a command than a request.   But truthfully, Kylo isn’t taking no for an answer anyway.

 

“I—I—“ she stammers.  And now strongly he senses fear in her.

 

So he tries to reassure.  Trailing kisses down her neck and slowing down.  “I won’t hurt you.  You will like this, Rey.  I promise.”

 

“I don’t—“  she stammers again.  And then just comes out with it.  “I don’t know what to do.”

 

And those halting, anxious words pull him back from his fever pitch of passion.  Is Rey saying what he thinks she’s saying?

 

Sensing his pause, Rey nods.  “I’ve never done this before,” she confesses.  And the poor girl looks like she’s about to cry. 

 

Kylo sits up and looks away, processing it all.  She’s a virgin.  Well, of course, she’s a virgin.  This is lonely, young Rey from Jakku who has never done anything besides starve and scavenge.  But that knowledge changes everything.  Because now tonight means something—or at least, it should mean something.  And that thought brings all the other rational thoughts back crashing in.  Like the thoughts about how this is his Master’s woman.  No, his Master’s virgin.  And Snoke is going to kill him if he knows he even touched Rey, let alone deflowered her while in his care on the _Finalizer_.  What the fuck is he doing??  This is madness.  This is suicide.  This is foolish.

 

But, fuck.  This is so Sith.  It’s a time-honored tradition for the Apprentice to betray the Master, after all.

 

He looks down at Rey and sees that she looks so uncertain.  So confused.  So unlike herself.  This isn’t the ballsy girl who resisted his Starkiller interrogation so hard she got inside his own head.  This isn’t the petulant student of the Force who initially balked at healing him.  And it certainly isn’t the valiant girl who put a stun bolt in Hux and then made a run for it. 

 

No, Kylo decides, this is not how this should be.  So he sits back, she sits up, and the mood is broken. 

 

“You’re angry,” she accuses, her face crumpling up.  He watches as she pulls her long hair forward to cover herself.  It’s a self-conscious gesture that mirrors all the insecurity and rejection she is projecting to him through the Force.   In this instant, Rey looks very, very young.  Far too young to be in bed with him.  What is she?  Nineteen?  Twenty?  Too young for him at almost thirty-one.  Ten years might not be a huge age difference later in life, but it is now.  The gap in his life experiences and hers is enormous, and not just because of their ages.  Damn, he thinks, he's one step removed from being a child molester. 

 

Looking at Rey now, he's very glad that he never revealed his power to her tonight.   He hadn't wanted to unfairly enchant her into bed.  Not that any of this had been planned.  But if he had revealed his Darkness, he'd be thrusting hard into Rey by now and then it would have been too late to turn back. 

 

He swallows hard.  Because that's how close they had come to disaster.

 

“No, Rey, I’m not angry,” he tells her.  And then comes a moment of true candor.  “The problem is that I’m not worthy.  And that you are his.  Snoke will kill me if I take you to bed.  He might kill you too.” 

 

Kylo sighs and looks away a moment.  If anything, he’s angry with himself.  This isn't like him.  He's an emotional Sith but rarely is he rash.  He's the Apprentice to Darth Plagueis the Wise, so he is a calculated, thinking man's warrior.   Hot-tempered like his mother, yes.  But rarely impulsive.  Never reckless. 

 

Except for the Light, it seems.  Except for Rey.

 

“This was a mistake.  No, this was my mistake.  Rey, I’m sorry.  I should never have kissed you.  Not back in the training room.  And not here tonight.” 

 

“I don’t understand,” she whispers.  She looks so confused.  “You don’t want me?”  She says these words like a little lost girl.  And now she’s tucking her knees up to her chin and she looks like a little lost girl.  Then, it gets worse when she adds, “No one has ever wanted me.  Not even my own family.”

 

“Oh, Rey,” Kylo stares over at her dejected face, wishing he could change things for her, for them.  But he can’t.  “I wish you were mine.  I found you, but you are his.  It is his right as my Master.  But I wish you were mine.”

 

“I don't belong to any man.”  Her reflexive bravado brings a small smile to his lips.  That’s more like the Rey he knows.

 

“It's not like that,” Kylo explains. “If you were mine, you would belong to me and I would belong to you.  I would take care of you. That is the way of the Sith.  When a Sith takes a lady, it is a forever commitment.  There is no divorce.” 

 

“I don't want to marry Leader Snoke!” 

 

Her vehemence does not bode well, Kylo thinks.  She needs to know that.  “Rey, if that's what Snoke wants, you're going to have to do it.”

 

She eyes him hopefully before suggesting, “Not if you let me escape first.”   

 

And that plants an idea that will later bloom to fruition.  But for tonight, Kylo just rises and hauls his tunic from the floor on his way out.  “Goodnight Rey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is long, but I didn't want to split it. 
> 
> Littlest Blue woke up screaming at 3:45am this morning, which turned out to be a lucky thing because I remembered to get online to get my Rogue One tickets! If you live in a big US city and you see some six foot blonde standing in line near you Thursday, Dec 15, that might just be me. Much more excited about this flick than about Force Awakens. Angry Darth Vader, the Death Star and stormtroopers. Bring. It. On. And love that Jyn wears a headscarf. So subtly subversive. Oh, the anticipation.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are worried about triggers, please see the note below at the end of the chapter before reading.

Rey has been summoned by the Supreme Leader.  Milo's message had worded it in the form of a polite invitation, but her acceptance was unmistakably compulsory.  And so here she stands, garbed for an audience with Darth Plagueis.  Her hair is loose and as it's as glossy as her lacquered lips.   She wears the dark pink dress and matching cape that she wore to arrive on the _Finalizer_.  Rey looks fragile, soft and girlish, as is his preference.   

 

It's very not Rey of Jakku.  But whatever.  Today, she aims to please. 

 

She is accompanied by a squad of stormtroopers for this trip to the hangar bay, so this time no one is shooting at her.  Up ahead, Milo awaits.  The Supreme Leader's personal representative bows to greet her.  He has the same old school formal manners as his Sith Master.  Then Milo waves her onboard the waiting shuttle.  Rey takes a deep breath and marches up the ramp.   Hoping for the best. 

 

She doesn't see the Apprentice who looks on with much trepidation from afar across the hangar bay.  Doesn't know that there are only two all black Upsilon class command shuttles in the First Order fleet and they belong to the Sith.  So even without seeing Old Milo, Kylo Ren knows exactly who has fetched Rey and where she is going.  If anything, he is more nervous than she. 

 

This time the _Finalizer_ ’s position happens to be quite close to the Leader’s hidden command center.  The shuttle ride is barely an hour.  And then Rey is following Milo into the secret bunker of the Sith, then down deep underground to his private lair to be presented to the galaxy’s sly Iago himself, the manipulative mastermind of the Clone Wars, the unaccredited architect of the Empire, and the Supreme Leader of the First Order, Darth Plagueis the Wise.

 

Always the gentleman, the cloaked and cowled Sith Master rises to his feet as Rey appears on the threshold of his beloved library.  She has found Snoke at his studies.  The table before him is strewn with ancient looking paperbound books.  Each lovingly preserved in a protective cover.  Mixed among them are modern datapads.  It’s an incongruous sight.

 

His eyes sweep over Rey and then linger.  "Welcome home, my dear," Snoke intones softly after looking his fill.

 

Rey bows her head respectfully.  "Supreme Leader."

 

"I am your Sith," he reproves her gently.

 

"Darth Plagueis."  Rey hastens to respond to his prompt, coloring slightly at this lapse.  Rey had given herself a pep talk during the shuttle ride to be on her best behavior.   She will give Snoke no cause to find fault with her today.  And, hopefully, she will be allowed to return to the _Finalizer_.  To the relative safety of the medibay and Kylo Ren.  Far, far away from this Muun.

 

"That's better.”  Snoke beckons her forward into the room.  He’s his usual mix of grave congeniality.  “Our Chief Healer tells me that you are very diligent with your work.  That you work every day, twice a day." 

 

This is true.  Rey doesn't take a day off.  She spends enough time alone staring at the holonet in her quarters as it is.  But she isn't one to complain.   And compared to Jakku, the First Order flagship is paradise.

 

"Yes, I enjoy my work.  I enjoy helping people," Rey says truthfully.     And trying hard to please, she adds, "I am grateful for the opportunity to learn.  And I do not wish to disappoint you."

 

He nods approvingly at this earnestness.  "Come, sit.” He motions her into the empty chair beside his.  And this puts Rey slightly more at ease.  It makes the conversation seem more like a chat and less like a formal interview.  Her interaction with the Muun is always stilted and distant.  It’s hard not to be afraid of this man and what he plans for her.  They have absolutely no rapport. 

 

“Tell me about your progress," he invites.

 

Wary Rey wants to be careful here.  If she wants to remain on the _Finalizer_ , Rey needs to show progress.  But not too much progress or he will recall her to him.  So Rey equivocates. 

 

"The Force comes faster now.  Easier.  And I can heal more complex injuries.   But I still have little stamina.  I cannot yet work a full shift.  Healing is very tiring for me."

 

"Go on."

 

"The Chief Healer would like me to focus on trauma wounds.  Punctures and saber wounds," she explains.  "But there has not been much opportunity."

 

"Yes,” he observes, “We have not engaged the enemy much of late.   That will change."   He looks to her now, imparting his wisdom with quiet pride.  Rey is reminded once again how much this Muun loves to teach.  "These things take time.  The Force cannot be rushed.  You grow into great power slowly.  Often, in fits and starts.  Rarely in a linear progression.  Mastering the Force is a lifetime's achievement, not a matter of months."

 

She nods at this encouragement.  It truly is heartening.  For most days in the medibay, Rey feels like she is fumbling around, making it up as she goes along.  Kylo Ren was right—she does need a teacher.

 

Then Snoke shifts gears and they are no longer talking of the Force.  "Tell me, my dear, do you enjoy life on a warship?"

 

Rey thinks a moment how to respond.  The truth is that the _Finalizer_ medibay is a lonely place where people talk behind her back and give her unfriendly looks.  Rey doesn't fit in.  Because of who she is, how she looks, and what she does.   Because she has a security escort to and from her quarters, because she shot two troopers and General Hux, and because she has the Force like the universally despised Kylo Ren.

 

Rey isn’t ready to join the First Order, but part of her wants very strongly to belong as part of the medibay team.  Whatever this Sith has planned for the future, the workaday stormtroopers and pilots she treats are not angry fascists.  They seem like ordinary people who are fighting for something they believe in.  And the medtechs, nurses and physicians who work for Chief Healer Smath all seem motivated to help people.  In fact, most every regular person Rey has encountered onboard the _Finalizer_ has been nice.  Well, maybe they are not nice to her, but they are nice to each other.  And quite a few of them seem to believe strongly in the moral high ground of the First Order. 

 

At first, that had been perplexing and confusing to Rey until she worked that humanitarian relief mission and saw that the First Order does indeed do some good.  It had taught her that there are people who see only the good of the First Order and overlook the bad.  Just like Rey had seen only the evil of the First Order and been ignorant of the good.    Your perspective depends on your experiences, she had concluded upon further reflection.   And maybe that’s the lesson to take away from it all:  that the truth of the matter depends greatly on your point of view. 

 

The disfigured Muun is looking at Rey curiously now.  Waiting for her response.  So she answers truthfully, if not directly.

 

"I used to explore wrecks of old Imperial star destroyers on Jakku.  I never thought that I would ever get to see a real one in person."   Not that she has seen much of the _Finalizer_ other than the hangar bay, her quarters and the medibay.   Rey would dearly love to explore the First Order's flagship.  To explore the lower decks and the engine rooms, to peek into the bridge and the meeting rooms, to walk the length and breadth of the giant hangar bay.  But that doesn't seem to be an option. 

 

When Snoke remains silent, Rey continues babbling her non-answer.  "They are such majestic capital ships.   A marvel of engineering.  Self-contained cities, really."  And that's part of why the _Finalizer_ feels especially lonely to Rey.  It's one thing to be lonely because you’re in an isolated desert and there is no one around.  It's another thing to be lonely because you’re surrounded by people and no one wants to be around you.  At least on Jakku, she had never felt rejected.

 

Darth Plagueis is not fooled by her obfuscation.  He raises one eyebrow now and it makes his grotesque face even more bizarre. "If you are unhappy there, you may always return home to me.   You need only ask."  

 

Home.  He calls this her home.  This is not her home.  But Rey says nothing.  She just nods.

 

“Force-users like ourselves tend to be solitary creatures.  Lesser beings cannot understand our abilities or share the burdens that come with our power.  Do not seek to find empathy among lay people.  Always, they will fear and mistrust you.  That is natural and prudent of them.  But it creates barriers.” 

 

Snoke is looking at Rey now like he is looking through her.  Looking into her.  Like he sees all her loneliness and the insecurities it promotes.  “Do not seek to be one of them, for you cannot.  You are so much more.   In time, you will see.  The belonging you seek is ahead of you.  And it is here.”

 

His low, gravelly voice softens now as he confides, “I know what it means to be alone.  Through the years, I have struggled with it myself.  There was a time when the Sith lived freely in the open, but everywhere in disguise.  I was not always the recluse you see before you.  For many years, I was a very public figure.  And usually, I had a wife waiting for me at home.  My last wife was taken from me decades ago now.   This is the longest I have lived without a companion.”   

 

Snoke was a public figure?  Rey looks at him, wondering for a long moment what his face looked like without the injuries.  Wondering who this man once was and how he ever ended up with a Jedi wife.   Wondering too how he became the mangled half-dead monster who lumbers through these dim halls. 

 

Again, Snoke repeats his offer:  “My dear, if you are unhappy, if you are lonely, you may always come home to me.  We can find other ways to build your skills.” 

 

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” she dutifully responds.

 

“Yes, my Sith,” he corrects her with a crooked smile.  The old Muun rarely smiles and when he does the left side of his face is so sunken that it barely moves with his expression.   But oddly enough, his half-smile has the same effect as if he were handsome and unharmed.  This Sith was once a charismatic man, Rey thinks.   And the vestiges of it still remain.

 

Studying his face, Rey blurts out, “How were you injured?” She has long wondered this.  And wondered too about the hidden injuries beneath his robes that make the Sith Master plod along slowly. 

 

“My family and I were attacked by my Apprentice Darth Sidious.  Sidious knew he could not kill me, so he killed those closest to me.  He beheaded my oldest boy in his sleep and then he hacked my wife to death.”

 

Rey makes a face of revulsion at this sad tale.  “Why?”

 

Snoke looks away and she can tell by his hard expression that her questions have brought up ugly memories.  Instantly, Rey regrets asking.  But when Snoke responds, his voice is as slow and measured as usual.  But tinged with derision.

 

“Lord Sidious had many grievances.  There is always conflict between a Master and an Apprentice.  And it is the nature of the Apprentice to attempt to supplant the Master.  For over a thousand years, that was the way of the Sith.  It is a tradition best left to history, but Sidious wished to perpetuate the Rule of Two.  He was a politician who loved the limelight.  He lacked the fortitude to thrive among a team of rivals.   His ego could not tolerate it.”

 

“Are there more Sith than you and Kylo Ren?”

 

“Not currently.  There might have been, but my grandson has denied me three times now.  He forsakes his family.   Prefers to hide and to brood.” 

 

Grandson?  Rey blinks at this revelation.  There’s a story there.

 

“In due time there will be more Sith.   There always are.  Darkness is rising and we will once again reign supreme.   There are cycles to the Force, like there are cycles to life.  I have lived several lifetimes and witnessed the circle complete itself once already.  And so it will again.”  

 

Fascinated, Rey asks, “How old are you?”

 

“Four hundred and twenty-nine.”

 

Wow.  Rey’s mouth hangs open.  “How?”

 

Her awed reaction seems to please him.  There is pride in his voice as he explains, “I am an immortal Sith Master with the power of a god.  I can create life, I can sustain life and I can resurrect life once lost.” 

 

Immortal?  Did he say immortal? “How?” she asks again, still not understanding.

 

And the answer is, of course, the Force.  Because all things are possible in the Force, as Darth Plagueis has taught her. 

 

Again, his voice holds a note of pride for his accomplishments.  “The Dark Side is a pathway to many abilities that some consider to be unnatural.” 

 

“So, you cannot die?”

 

“No.  But I can be hurt.  My wounds cannot be healed through conventional means without extensive cybernetics.  And I have no wish to be Darth Vader.  Or Grievous.  I refuse to be more machine than man.”  Snoke looks at her now with undisguised satisfaction.  “Long have I waited for one such as you, Rey.  Now, show me your skills.  Let me feel your power.”  He gestures to his mangled gargoyle face.  “Impress me.”

 

Rey nods and stands close before him, reaching to cradle his head in her hands.  Her eyes close in concentration as she reaches for the Force.   She can do this, she tells herself.  She has to do this.  For if she cannot show progress, there is no reason for her to continue her work under Smath.  The Force rushes up fast to answer her call.  Her hands are pulsing now with the restorative magic of the Light.

 

He shudders at her touch, and it reminds her of Kylo Ren.  “Yessssss.  Heal me.” 

 

She feels his hands about her waist now, tugging her closer. She's leaning into Snoke now.  Her body relaxing along with her mind.   He is so tall that even though the Muun is seated, she barely tops him.

 

“Deeper . . . go deeper into the Force.”  His voice is an excited rasp now.  So unlike his usual slow cadence.  “Surrender to it!  Submit and its power is yours to command.”

 

Rey obliges.  Then she sways and feels herself stumble. As her mind dissolves further into the Force, Rey’s sense of her physical self retreats.  Vaguely, she feels him pull her closer and lift her slightly.  Now she's on her knees straddling his lap, still holding his face in her hands.  Their foreheads are touching.  Rey is focusing on the mighty scar that splits his forehead where long ago someone had split his skull. 

 

“Good . . . good.  Let go of your conscious self,” he croons to her.  “Drift in the Force.  Be its tool, a conduit of life.” 

 

Part of Rey is panicking now.  She’s close to complete loss of control and that is frightening.  Because then she will start downing in the Force like she had once before with Hux.   This is where Rey has the most potent power.  Where she had tapped into the primal lifeforce that had erased part of Snoke’s mighty scar with a glancing, unintended touch.  This is blazing, vibrant Light.  It hums in her ears and vibrates through her body.  Rushing over her, through her, and threatening to sweep her away with it.

 

“H-help!” she gasps aloud.  The Light is blinding her mind’s eye.   Dazzling and confusing her.  She is dizzy.   Unsteady.

 

“Yesssss.   Feel your power.   You are so ssstrong . . .”

 

“H-H-help!” Rey stutters out, frightened now by how otherworldly and amorphous she feels.   Like there is no her, there is just the universe.

 

“More.”  Is he begging or was that a command?  Rey isn’t sure.  “Give me more.  Show me your Light.”

 

Rey feels his spindly fingered hands on her thighs.  Yes, she needs that.  She needs to feel anchored to herself physically in some way.  “H-hold me!” she pleas.  “Don’t let me go!”  She’s so close to being swept away now. 

 

And then, oh Gods!  What is he doing???  The Muun has his hands on her thighs but they are up under her skirt.  And then up under her panties.  And, oh Gods what the Hell is he doing?  If Rey had any sense of control, she would jump off his lap and run for the door.  But she doesn’t.   She’s drunk on the Force and high on the Light and an utterly passive conduit of power right now.  From the Force to her, and from her to him.  Because you control the Force only up to a point.  And then it controls you.  The Force is tricky like that.  It will control your actions even if it obeys your commands. 

 

“Stay in the Force,” she hears Snoke’s voice purr.  “Stay in the Light.”

 

“Stop!  Please . . . “  Rey is not even certain that she says these words aloud.  So distracted is she by Snoke’s hands under her skirt.  Because that feels amazing but she doesn’t want it.  Stop.  Please, stop.  He’s got fingers teasing inside and fingers teasing outside.  And, stop with those fingers!  Well, stop in just a moment.  No, don’t stop.  Don’t stop.

 

“I want to feel your power.  To feel your Light. It has been ssssooo long,” he groans.

 

Rey is panting now, her chest heaving as she moans out, “Stop.  Please stop.” 

 

“So close,” he hisses.  And she is close.  Close to something she doesn’t understand.  It feels like she is dying.  Her body is tense and she can’t breathe and she is dying.  But in the best way possible.  Because whatever Snoke is doing between her thighs is absolutely the way she wants to die.

 

“Show me your Light!”  Snoke growls and it’s unmistakably a command.  And Rey has no idea what this means.  No idea what he wants her to do. 

 

And, oh Gods, she is dying now.  She is melting and exploding all at once, screaming out in the moment as she is swept into the oblivion of the Force.  Eyes squeezed shut.  Clutching tightly at his face and neck as the intensity of it all overwhelms her.  Snoke is roaring in her face something about Light and power and balance and about how once she heals him he will fuck her every day, all day.  And that can’t be right because Supreme Leader Snoke is far too dignified to say the word fuck. 

 

When Rey finally regains her wits, she is still straddling the Sith, collapsed on his chest with her head on his shoulder.  She’s alive after all.  Alive and the Muun is stroking her back like he’s petting her.  Rey makes to squirm away but he pulls her closer. “Rey, you are lovely in the Force, so beautiful in your submission.  So generous with your power.” 

 

Huh?  "W-What was that??"

 

He chuckles at this question and she pulls back to look at him.  "So young and so innocent," he observes, looking very pleased with himself.   And with her.  "So untouched.  I will enjoy introducing you to pleasure.  It has been many long years since I had a lady with the Light."   He smiles approvingly down at her. 

 

Rey looks at him blankly.  She's still coming down from the high of whatever just happened.  She feels so depleted now, so fuzzy and spent.

 

Darth Plagueis, on the other hand, seem elated and downright chatty.  "You still do not understand, do you?   But how charming.  How utterly charming.   My Shan came to me chaste as well.  She was a Jedi, and had lived a celibate life.  Unspoiled by any man until me.   A virgin bride until I claimed her for my own." 

 

Talk of virgin brides has Rey remembering her goal of getting back to the _Finalizer_.  Snoke sounds like he’s in the right mood for Rey to persuade him. 

 

“I will do better,” weary Rey promises.  “I know that can do better.  I just need more practice on battle injuries.  Please let me learn under the Chief Healer so that one day I can help you like I help others.”

 

“My dear, I can simply cut some troopers with my sword and let you heal them here.  And then you can remain with me and be my Light.”

 

Yikes!  That’s not an alternative Rey had considered.  She hastens to counter, “It’s not the same.  I want to learn about conventional medicine too.  To better understand about healing generally.  Let me do this for you.  Please, my Sith.” 

 

Her wheedling words do not convince him, but her results do.  For once Darth Plagueis looks in the mirror to find that the scar on his forehead is practically gone, he agrees.  Her work on the _Finalizer_ is helping, and he will permit it to continue.   Then Snoke hands her a glowing blue and gold cube he calls a holochron and tells Rey to concentrate and it will open.  Inside is knowledge of the Force.  It is precious, he warns.  Do not lose it.  Then he kisses her on the forehead and deposits her back on his shuttle and she is away.

 

Away to process in private all that has occurred.  Rey is not ignorant of what goes on between a man and a woman.  Well, not in theory at least.  And she’s had her share of passionate dreams.  She knows why she is sticky and damp underneath her dress.  And while the experience was not exactly unpleasant, it was unwelcome.  And scary.  She had been lost in the Force, unable to resist, and the creepy Muun had taken advantage of the situation.   She hadn’t understood what was happening and she had been unprepared for the intensity of it all.  And befuddled by his reaction.  In the aftermath, Rey feels like she has been groped by a dirty old man.  Like she has been used.   Abused.  But really, what should she have expected from that creepy, leering old Muun who is obsessed with the Force.  For even this had been about the Force for him apparently. 

 

Monster that he is, Kylo Ren would never have done that to her.  Rey feels certain.

 

At least she is away from Snoke, she consoles herself as she wipes at her eyes.  Away to the relative and temporary safety of being a captive aboard the First Order flagship.  Yes, it’s not a good situation.  But just survive one day at a time, she reminds herself.  It’s a lesson from Jakku but it applies now more than ever.  For though her problems are no longer food and water, they are no less deadly.  For, truly, there are few things more deadly than Darth Plagueis the Wise.

 

All too soon, tired and sullen Rey is back on the _Finalizer_.  Pulling close her hood and staring at her feet, Rey trudges down the shuttle ramp alone clutching the little cube Snoke had given her.  Lost in her thoughts, she looks up and nearly jumps in surprise.  Kylo Ren and General Hux are waiting for her near the bottom of the shuttle ramp.  And behind them are hundreds of First Order troops and officers.  All standing at attention in neat uniformed rows. 

 

For her.

 

“What is this?” she demands.  She’s more irritated by this ceremonial show of force than impressed.  All she wants to do is get to her quarters and take a long, hot shower.   To wash the day and that Muun’s hands off her body.

 

Kylo answers gruffly.  “Our Supreme Leader has decreed that you be received as befitting your status.”

 

Her status?   Rey looks at him blankly.  “What status?”

 

“Your status as the Supreme Leader's special guest,” Hux drawls.  And he says the words ‘special guest’ as if they were a euphemism for whore.  Rey blushes to the roots of her hair.   Because, well, that comment is not far off the mark today.

 

Kylo seems annoyed by Hux’s attitude because he gibes, “The general here even took off his sidearm for the occasion.  Getting shot in the medibay is his only combat experience and he wants to keep it that way.”

 

“Ren—“  Hux starts to issue some reply, but Rey just sweeps past both men.  She’s not in the mood for their incessant bickering.  Or for more of this showy First Order display. 

 

As Rey strides through the corridor created by the assembled troops, it feels more like she is walking a gauntlet of jailers than being honored by these men.  At the back of this ridiculous assembly awaits a squad of troopers.  Here are her real jailers waiting to escort her to her quarters.  Whatever.  Frazzled Rey just keeps walking.  She is impatient to be in her quarters.  The trooper squad leader snakes out an arm to slow her, but Rey has the quicker reflexes.  She throws up an arm and instinctively throws the man ten feet with the Force.   Another trooper lunges for her and Rey throws him too.

 

“Don’t touch me!” Rey screams at the top of her lungs. “No one touches me!”  Then she whirls and stalks off to her quarters. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if you have read any of my other Sith AU stories, you know that the Sith are not always big on consent where ladies with the Light are concerned.  Even impotent old Muuns. And you also know that all that lovely Light Side power is unconsciously revealed when a lady with the Force loses herself to pleasure. It's why every Dark Sith needs a Jedi wife, as Snoke decides in Fulcrum Part Two. Sith love sex (and violence, and power, and war etc.)   Be warned!  This story--like everything I write--is not for everyone. 


	13. Chapter 13

Kylo bursts into Rey’s quarters and finds a trail of clothes.  He steps on one of her slippers before he sees it because he is too busy looking at the cast-off cape and the crumpled pink dress on the floor.  A few feet away is a black bra that looks familiar from the other night. A pair of pink panties looks like she stepped out of them by the bathroom door.

 

Rey is in the shower.  Kylo hears the water running and sees the steam.  He knows that he should leave.  But he stands there several meters back from the open bathroom door, staring back at his own reflection in the mirror.  Why is he even here, he asks himself.  And it’s a stupid question because he knows why.

 

He has spent all day pacing the bridge wondering what was happening with Rey and his Master.  Fearing that at any minute he would receive the summons to account for his transgressions because Snoke had gotten wind of his obsession with this girl.  Kylo had played all the likely scenarios over in his head.  Some had ended with Rey dead.  But all had ended with him dead.  He's the Apprentice, so of course he covets his Master’s power and learning.  That is to be expected.  But he's not supposed to covet his Master's woman.   Rey isn't fair game, even for a Sith.

 

And then old Milo had relayed the surprise order to receive Lady Rey with full military honors upon her return.  Military honors for a civilian who had fought against the First Order and helped to deliver its most crushing defeat?   Hux had been outwardly contemptuous of the situation, bitterly complaining.  But Kylo had been suspicious.  His Master is a formal man who would not have ordered this pomp and circumstance lightly.  Just what had Rey done to merit this acclaim?   And what message about Rey is Snoke trying to send to his crew?  Kylo wasn't certain he wanted to know. 

 

_Have you seen her?  No, what’s so special about her?_ Standing there bored and waiting with everyone else in the hangar bay, Kylo had amused himself surfing through his officers’ minds to eavesdrop on their conversations.  Predictably, they were mostly about Rey _.   She's Resistance.  Nah, she'd be dead if she were Resistance.  I hear she's a hostage.  Some princess sent here for safekeeping while the Leader brokers a deal for her homeworld._ None of their speculation had even approached the truth, and some of the more outlandish rumors had made Kylo smile behind his mask.  _I hear she’s got the Force.  I'll lay odds she's Luke Skywalker's daughter or something like that.  Yeah?  Is she hot?  Only if you like ‘em prissy and skinny._ All the remarks were spoken in the way that men talk amongst themselves about women when they know they will not be overheard.  And some of it was crude enough to piss Kylo off.  Because men at this level of rank are supposed to be officers and gentlemen of the First Order.   His flagship isn’t a locker room or a frat house.  So, to keep from killing someone, Kylo had switched gears to amuse himself by needling Hux. 

 

Finally, the shuttle ramp had lowered and Rey had almost wandered down.  Looking dazed and clearly hiding beneath her hooded cloak.  As if it were even possible to hide while wearing pink on the _Finalizer_. 

 

This wasn't the confident Rey who strides through his star destroyer with her head held high surrounded by troopers.  Kylo strongly suspects that Rey knows that she is as watched by the crew as he is.  He had been hoping to see that proud, resilient girl sweep down the shuttle ramp.  But instead, down came a diminished looking Rey.  She hadn't even looked up to see the grand assembly prepared for her.   And then that asshole Hux couldn't resist his snarky innuendo and Rey had looked horrified and basically ran from the room.  But not before she had Force-pushed two troopers and screamed like she was on the verge of hysteria. 

 

_Don't touch me!  No one touches me!_

 

Fuck, he thinks he knows exactly what happened with old Darth Plagueis.

 

Fuck, he hopes he is wrong about what happened with old Darth Plagueis.

 

As soon as he could do so without looking obvious, Kylo had stalked off after Rey. Leaving Hux in midsentence of some petty insult.  And now, here he stands unannounced and uninvited in her quarters.

 

He should go.  There's nothing he can do here and he doesn't really need to know what went on with Snoke.  Maybe he doesn’t want to know.  Obviously, his Master is still in the dark or else Kylo would know it by now.  His Master is always swift with his punishments. 

 

Kylo hears the water shut off.  Any second now, Rey is going to walk out and she's not expecting to find him standing here.  Kylo knows that he will not be a pleasant surprise. 

 

Rey is wrapping a towel around herself as she comes into view, giving him a fleeting, tantalizing glimpse of her nakedness in the mirror. Eyes half closed and looking down, oblivious Rey busies herself unwinding the top knot of curls on her head.  They spill down in a dramatic tumble.  Then she looks up and catches sight of him in the mirror.

 

Rey lets out a small shriek as she practically jumps out of her skin. Then she whirls, her face a mask of outrage.  "Don't you ever knock??  Get out!"  She's tucking the towel tighter around herself.  “I had more privacy in the freaking desert than I do here.  Get out!”

 

“Rey—“

 

“Get out!   What is it with you Sith?  Don’t you understand boundaries??  Now, get out!”

 

Belatedly, Kylo remembers he has his helmet on.  Dragging it off, he asks, "Are you okay?" She certainly didn't seem okay in the hangar bay.  Looking at her on the verge of tears now, Rey doesn't look much improved.  Yeah, he should leave. Crying and hysterical women are not his thing.  But he's here, so he asks again, "Are you okay?"

 

“What's it to you?” Rey snarls at him.  “Now, get out!  I just want to be alone!” 

 

He nods but doesn’t move.  “You're alone a lot,” he observes.

 

“I like being alone,” she informs him.  And he wants to cringe at how automatically defensive it sounds.  It’s so clearly a lie Rey tells to make herself feel better.  And that sort of self-deception is familiar territory for Kylo.

 

“No.  No, you don’t.” 

 

“Yes, I do!” Rey snaps back.  “And how would you know, anyway?” she accuses.

 

Kylo looks her in the eye.  “Because I'm alone a lot too.”    That confession takes some of the heat out of Rey and she doesn’t respond.  She just stands there dripping in a towel, shifting her weight.  “Get dressed and come over,” Kylo decides on an impromptu invitation.  “I'll order dinner.” 

 

Rey looks away.  “No, thanks.”

 

“I'll get blue muffins,” he cajoles.  Hell, he will even eat a blue muffin if it will make her happy.  Because Rey looks so unhappy right now. 

 

But she’s back to being defensive.  “Don't make fun of me.”

 

“I'm not.”

 

“I said I want to be alone.”

 

“Rey, I won’t ask you about today.”

 

Her eyes dart to him, then quickly look away.  Her brow is furrowed and her cheeks are hot.  He knows to change the topic fast.

 

“And I won't talk about the First Order.  Or the Resistance.  Or the war.  I promise.”

 

“No politics either.  I don’t like politics.”  Rey is adding her own ground rules and now this is a negotiation.  That is progress in itself.

 

“No politics,” he agrees.  “Now, do we have a deal?  Will you come?” 

 

Rey peers at him warily.  “Are you mad that I threw those troopers?”

 

“I wouldn't care if you killed those troopers, Rey.”  And this is true, he wouldn't. He’s Kylo Ren, and he’s not in a position to judge anyone on random violence.  And they are stormtroopers anyway.  So, whatever.  “Do we have a deal?” he presses again.

 

“Okay,” she concedes.  “It’s a deal.” 

 

Ten minutes later, Rey is in his quarters wearing another pastel dress but no shoes.  She smells like soap and not like the elegant perfume he remembers.  Her face is devoid of all makeup.  And even if her eyes are puffy and red, she looks pretty.  Young and fresh and unadorned.  The outward trappings of Lady Rey are gone and she just looks like herself. 

 

The service droid has already left and dinner is served.   He sees her eye his plate as he peels off his gloves.   

 

“You must like meat,” she comments.

 

Kylo flashes a sheepish grin.  “Steak is my ration kit.  Think of a ribeye as my blue muffin.”  She blinks at this.  “It’s a guy thing,” he assures her.

 

“Alright,” she nods her understanding.  “I get it.”

 

“Ask me a question, Rey.”  He has missed her questions.  No one asks him questions other than Snoke.  Here on the _Finalizer_ everyone waits for him to give orders. 

 

She thinks for a moment.  And then comes out with one of her direct, to the point, very material questions.  It’s very Rey.  “Why are you loyal to Snoke?”

 

Why indeed?  Kylo has spent much of today contemplating the many ways his Master might kill him.  “Snoke is my Master.  A teacher, a mentor, a father in many ways.”  More father than Han Solo had ever been, Kylo gripes inwardly.  “Snoke was the first person in my life to tell me the truth of my family.  And he rescued me from my uncle.”

 

“Luke Skywalker.” She breathes out the Jedi’s name with such reverence that it annoys him.  Rey knows the legend, but Kylo Ren had known the man.  The lying, manipulative man with the fanatical zeal to rebuild a past he had never actually known.   At least Darth Plagueis, controlling as he is, has never lied to him.  The Sith are nothing if not straightforward with each other.  Not with others, of course.  But they are blunt as Hell to their peers.

 

“Yes,” Kylo confirms.  And he can’t keep the years old bitterness from his tone.  “I didn't want to live out someone else's dreams.  And I was tired of my uncle’s lies. It turns out that everyone lied to me.  But my uncle especially.”

 

“So this was your dream?” she wants to know.   “To rule the galaxy and lead the First Order?”

 

“Not initially,” he admits. 

 

Ruling the galaxy hadn’t been on his radar screen at age fifteen.  In fact, he had mostly been running headlong away from the responsibilities his family had kept thrusting upon him.  But Snoke had changed all that.  Had challenged him to take up the cause of leadership from a different perspective.   When Luke Skywalker had nagged him that the Force was a gift that should not be squandered, young Ben Solo had just tuned him out.  But somehow when Darth Plagueis had said those very same words, they meant something different.  Maybe because they had so much lethal gravitas behind them.  And maybe because of the romantic notion that now and forever the Sith shall rule the galaxy. 

 

In some ways, the First Order had been the ultimate rebellion for a runaway, petulant malcontent who grew up on anti-Empire Rebellion lore.  But somewhere along the way, that boy had become a man and had become a Sith.  And now running off to join the First Order and rule the galaxy isn’t a teen prank, it’s real.   Yes, when it comes to life goals, the Skywalker clan doesn’t start small.   And the erstwhile Ben Skywalker Solo, aka Kylo Ren, is a Skywalker through and through.

 

“So what did you want to do?”  Rey breaks his brooding reverie with another question. 

 

Kylo smiles faintly at this.  It takes him back many years, to an unhappy boy he barely remembers and he was glad to leave behind.  “I wanted to study the Clone Wars,” he tells Rey.  “To learn military history and tactics.  Maybe teach at an Academy.  Something like that.”

 

“And your family wouldn’t let you do that?”

 

“With my family history, no one wanted to encourage me to study war.  And I was born to be a Jedi, according to everyone but me.”

 

Rey grins at him and it’s the first smile he’s seen from her today.  “Now people are going to study your war. You know that, right?”

 

Kylo nods with a smug smirk.  Yeah, he knows that.  Because damn right the galaxy will study him. Like as a boy he used to study his grandfather. “What was your dream, Rey?”

 

“To find my family.  I really believed that they would come back for me.” She looks down and away now and stops tearing at her muffin.  “I guess I had to believe it,” she whispers. 

 

And this, he sees, is another of the lies that Rey had told herself.  “My family let me down too,” he confides.  He holds her gaze in a moment of silent solidarity.

 

“At least you had a family,” she remarks bitterly.  And he knows that she is thinking of Han Solo. 

 

But Kylo doesn’t want to talk about his father.  He wants to talk about Rey. “What happened?   Do you know how you ended up alone?”

 

Rey exhales and her shoulders slump with the effort.  She looks away again as she tells her past.  “Supposedly, my mother was a spice addict. She tried to sell me to slavers but they didn't want me.  So she sold me to the boss of the local outpost.  Unkar Plutt needed a small kid to crawl into cramped space on wrecks and ships.” She shrugs with a nonchalance that Kylo knows Rey does not feel.  “That's all I know.”

 

“Where did you get the accent?”  He’s been curious about this.

 

“Accent?”

 

“You have a Coruscant accent.”

 

“Do I?  I think I sound like most everyone else.” 

 

“You sound like the officers.  And they are mostly from the families of the Imperial elites who went into exile thirty years ago.   Those families were all mainly from Coruscant.  Or had spent time on Coruscant.  I figured you were from Coruscant originally.”

 

“Maybe.  I don't know.  I'll never know,” she admits.  Then adds, “After all this time, I don't think I want to know.”   Again, Rey gets that distant, bleak look.  “It wouldn’t change anything now anyway.”

 

“I wish the First Order had gone to the Western Reaches back then,” Kylo tells her.   It comes out almost like an apology, for he means these words so sincerely.   “I wish we had gone to Jakku, Rey.  We would have helped you.  Things might have been different.”

 

She just nods. 

 

The conversation has gotten heavy and they are veering close to the topics he promised not to discuss.  So, he changes the subject.  Kylo is determined to keep tonight light.  “Hux is complaining.  He wants his quarters back.”

 

“Whatever.”  Rey shrugs.  “I don’t care where I sleep.  Hux can have them.”

 

“No, he can't,” Kylo grins.  He’s been enjoying how dissed the redheaded general is over his demotion.  And, really, Hux is lucky to be alive.  And lucky to be still ranked as general.  Snoke is not always so forgiving.  “I like you much better as a neighbor than Hux.” 

 

“Did you barge in on him too?” She’s teasing him.  He thinks. 

 

“Gods, no,” Kylo is horrified at this suggestion.  “Rey, Hux is a player.  He always had a girl in there with him.”  Sure, he hates Hux.  But it's guy code.  You don't interrupt a man when he's in bed with a girl.

 

Rey gets the wrong idea.  “Those poor girls,” she says sympathetically.  And Kylo knows that she comparing herself to Hux’s girls for whatever happened with Snoke today.

 

“It's not like that,” Kylo explains.  “Hux never had to drag them up here. He practically has waiting list, Rey. Women are crazy for that guy.”

 

“Really?”  Rey looks completely surprised and that is so gratifying for Kylo.  But then she hedges.  “Well, yeah, I guess I can see that.”

 

“You can??”  He frowns.  Rey ought to have better judgement.  Yeah, she doesn’t have much experience with guys.  But still--does Rey think Hux is hot?   It had never occurred to Kylo that Rey might think Hux is hot.   Instantly, he is jealous.

 

“He's pretty popular with the women in the medibay,” Rey muses.   “They all think Hux is handsome.” 

 

They.  Not we.  Kylo feels better now.  “I guess it's the power they see in him.  The power and the status.”

 

Rey wrinkles her nose in disdain.  “You sound like a Sith.”

 

He grins.  “I am a Sith.”  Looking across at her now, Kylo thinks Rey might be the only woman in the galaxy who doesn’t care about power and status.  For certain, she’s the only woman in the galaxy wouldn't want to be married to the super rich, ridiculously powerful old Snoke.   Well, Kylo thinks, maybe the only woman other than his mother. 

 

“So are you a player too?” Rey asks him bluntly.   “Is that what the other night was?”

 

“No.  No, I'm not a player.”

 

She raises an eyebrow at his denial.  “Kylo Ren, the First Knight of the First Order, doesn’t have his own waiting list?  Why not?  You've got the power and the status.  Shouldn't you have a different girl in here every night?”  She’s teasing him again.   He thinks.

 

So he fires back.  “I have you tonight, don't I?  I'm the envy of all the single guys onboard tonight.”  Then he shrugs. “Everyone is afraid of me.”  With good reason, he knows.

 

Rey nods and they are back to being serious again.  “They're afraid of me too.”  She's right.  And Force-pushing two stormtroopers in the hangar bay today didn't help matters. 

 

He looks her in the eye and coats his words with the heavy suggestion of the Force.  Because this time he wants her to believe him.  “Rey, I'm not a player.” 

 

“Yeah,” she tells him.  “I didn’t think so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are going to get sporadic. It's a busy time with a lot of evening events for me to attend as Mrs. Blue. I kinda don't belong in my world in some ways, and all this holiday stuff stokes my social insecurities. I waste a lot of mental energy trying too hard on hostess gifts and cocktail dresses. Sigh. That leaves less time for my surreptitious writing.


	14. Chapter 14

When General Hux marches into the medibay, Rey is instantly on alert.  Instinctively summoning the Force for a fight or flight moment with her redheaded nemesis.  This time, the general is taking no chances.  He has reinforcements in the form of two troopers and another officer with him.   The small parade of uniforms comes to a halt before her and Hux gestures dismissively in her direction.

 

“Here she is.  Keep the troopers with you and watch what you tell her.  She is not to be trusted.”

 

Then the general stalks away, leaving Rey with the troopers and the lone officer.  The officer is a nondescript looking fellow with a calm, patient expression that is the complete opposite of the high maintenance general who just left.  “I am the Chief Engineer of the _Finalizer_ ,” the man introduces himself with a weak, perfunctory smile.  Rey sees that her reputation has preceded her.  “The Leader has ordered that you be offered a tour of the ship.  What would you like to see first?”

 

Rey's eyes light up. “Can I see the Engine Room?” 

 

“Not the bridge?” The engineer is surprised.

 

“Oh, the Engine Room, please!”  Rey is gleeful at this unexpected opportunity.   

 

An hour later, Rey's enthusiasm and clear knowledge of the inner workings of the ship have thawed the Chief Engineer’s initial coolness.   It is not often that this man finds anyone who values what he does--most take it for granted that everything onboard will function perfectly at all times--so he warms to the appreciative audience he has in Rey.   Here is a woman who understands the quirks of technology and recognizes good engineering design on a hyperdrive.  By the time they are through in the Engine Room, Rey is chatting with the Chief Engineer and the rest of the staff like casual friends.   That mutual comfort level must be what moves him to ask Rey how she knows so much about mechanics. 

 

“Oh, I have always liked figuring things out,” she reveals.  “I like technology.” 

 

Her tour guide thinks this to be an inadequate response.  “Lady, most kids might dismantle a droid if they are curious.  You sound like you could take apart the _Finalizer_.” 

 

Rey laughs at this.  “I have taken apart portions of a star destroyer,” she reveals.  “I used to live on Jakku.”

 

He raises on eyebrow.  “Jakku as in the Battle of Jakku?”

 

“Yes.  There were lots of old wrecks around, even a star destroyer.”

 

The Chief Engineer looks at her thoughtfully.  “I believe it was the _Inflictor_ that crashed on Jakku.”  And now for the first time, her guide speaks of something other than the ship’s engineering.  “Are you from an Exile family?” he asks.  “My father was in the Imperial Navy.   He was on the _Executor_.”   

 

Rey sidesteps the question about her past.  That’s a minefield of potential issues she doesn’t want to open.  “The _Executor_.  I like that name.  It sounds so formidable.”  Rey smiles back at the Chief Engineer as she inquires, “What class ship was the _Executor_?”

 

He looks surprised that Rey doesn't already know.  “It was Lord Vader's super star destroyer.  The pride of the fleet.  All hands lost at the Battle of Endor.” 

 

He looks away and Rey mumbles an inadequate and awkward, “I’m sorry.”

 

The Chief Engineer just nods and changes the subject.  “I'll come by tomorrow.  I have some weaponry you might like to see.  Ever seen a ventral cannon up close?”

 

“Oh, I'd like that,” Rey beams.

 

And thus begins a new routine.   Every day, Rey explores the _Finalizer_ for an hour with the Chief Engineer.   Sometimes he brings along a specialist to explain what they see.  And not all of what they see is technical in nature.  For Rey visits the stormtrooper barracks, the blaster range, the commissary, and even the swimming pool.  Life on a star destroyer is not just war.  There is recreation and fun for the crew too. 

 

About a week later, Rey is being shown the officers’ meeting rooms where the First Order plots its war when she and the Chief Engineer happen upon Kylo Ren.  He's surrounded by officers as he exits a strategy session.  It's the first time Rey has seen Kylo since their impromptu dinner after she had returned from Snoke.

 

“What is this?” the First Knight demands.

 

Beside her, the Chief Engineer snaps to rigid attention.  He nervously spits out his response.  “These are the Leader's orders per General Hux, Sir.  I am to show Lady Rey the ship." 

 

“Hux ordered this?”  Kylo is surprised.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Hux is not in charge of Lady Rey,” Kylo announces coldly.  Like she is some sort of turf battle in the making.  One more thing for Kylo Ren and General Hux to compete over.

 

Then the Sith turns to her. "Did you shoot him again?"  At Rey’s side, the Chief Engineer snorts and then hastily turns his laughter into an unconvincing cough.  But to a man, the officers behind Kylo frown.  They must be Hux loyalists, Rey thinks.

 

“Well?”

 

Rey glares at Kylo.  "No."

 

"Too bad."   He turns back to the engineer. "Keep her accompanied.  I don't want her to sabotage the hyperdrive.  She could do it, you know."  Kylo sounds vaguely proud when he says this.  But maybe it's just the distortion of his mask, Rey thinks. 

 

The Sith turns to leave when Rey stops him.  "Kylo."   Every head whips around at her use of his first name.  He is Ren or Sir to most everyone onboard.   But not to her.  Rey doesn't know it, but she has just revealed herself to be one of the First Knight's few intimates. 

 

The black and silver mask turns to her expectantly.

 

"I need help with the holochron he gave me," Rey confesses.   Between them, the 'he' needs no explanation.  "I can't open it. He wants me to open it and I can't.  Will you show me how?"

 

"It's a Jedi holochron."

 

It is?   "Does that matter?" she asks. 

 

"Yes."

 

"Oh."

 

"Bring it by tonight,” Kylo tells her.  “I'll talk you through it."

 

A few hours later, Rey and the holochron are sitting across from Kylo at dinner in his quarters.  He’s got his steak, she’s got her muffin.  They have done this ritual a few times by now, so it feels surprisingly comfortable and easy.  And sure enough, as usual Kylo prompts Rey to ask him a question. 

 

She thinks a moment.  There is one thing she has been wondering about Kylo Ren.  Well, to be honest, there are many things Rey has been wondering about Kylo Ren.  She thinks about this man far too often.  But tonight, one question rises above all the rest.

 

"What did you do for the Light before me?"  How did he satisfy this craving, Rey wonders.

 

Kylo flushes and she recognizes shame in his expression.  

 

"You can tell me." Rey won’t judge him.  She won’t ever judge anyone for seeking the Light.

 

He nods thoughtfully at her encouragement.  And after a moment, he responds.  “Mostly I destroyed things to cope.  Violence is a good outlet for a Sith.  But from time to time, my commitment to my training would waver.  And then I would fail to accomplish missions due to my . . . “  Kylo frowns, searching for the right words.  “Due to my lack of resolve,” he finishes.

 

And Rey doesn’t catch his meaning.  “I don't understand.”

 

So Kylo tries again.  “I am Sith, Rey.  A disciple of Darkness is not supposed to crave the Light.  My Master would not care if I indulged in women or in excesses of violence.  But he condemns this weakness.  Because in the past it has prompted me to mercy at inopportune moments.  My weakness can be . . . counterproductive.”   

 

“I think I get it,” Rey tells him.  “If you can’t feel the Light, then you are tempted to be the Light.”

 

He nods yes.  “A Sith must be immune to the Light, Rey.  He shouldn’t crave it.  He shouldn’t be moved by it.  And that's why I had to kill my father.  To prove that I could go through with it.  It was a test.  There have been other tests before and I have failed them.   Because I have been weak for the call to the Light.”

 

“You killed your father to impress Snoke?”  Rey knows her voice sounds horrified.  Because she is.

 

But Kylo doesn’t seem to register her censure, for he keeps confessing, “You grow into Darkness, Rey.  A man cannot handle it all at once.  But somehow, I got stuck partway along the progression. I am Sith, but I am a weak Sith.  Weak for the Light.”   He looks away and adds quietly, “Weak for you.”

 

Insight flashes up to Rey now.  “You have been avoiding me, haven’t you?” she whispers.

 

Kylo doesn’t deny it. 

 

Rey thinks back on her visit to the Supreme Leader.  “Snoke wants the Light too,” she tells Kylo.    

 

But he disagrees.  “No.  Darth Plagueis is the most powerful Sith to ever live.  My Master knows all there is to know of the Dark Side of the Force.  He disdains the Light.  He will tolerate it, even use it for his own aims.  But that’s all.”

 

Rey isn’t so sure.  Because in hindsight Rey recalls an ecstatic and roaring Snoke at the moment her Light had blazed forth.  But she doesn’t pursue the point. 

 

“Are you done?”  Kylo glances over at what remains of her muffin.  She nods.  “Good.  Then let’s see the holochron.”

 

Rey hands it over to him.  He inspects it for a moment, turning it over in his hands with a reverence that surprises her.  “I’ve seen a few of these.  My uncle found some in Kenobi’s home on Tatooine.  But they looked a bit different than this one.  Same blue and gold, but much more ornate.  This is sleek.  It looks more Sith than Jedi.”

 

“The Sith have holochrons?”

 

“Yes.   Come,” he rises from his chair and moves to the couch, placing the holochron on the small table in front of it.  Kylo pats the sofa next to him and Rey takes the cue to sit at his side.  “You open a holochron with your mind through the Force.  Concentrate,” he instructs.

 

“On what?” Rey asks.  This is where she gets stuck.

 

“Begin by levitating the holochron and then let the Force do the rest.” 

 

Okay, Rey thinks.  Maybe this is sort of like pouring wine with the Force for Snoke.  She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and reaches for the Force.  Slowly, the little cube rises off the table, shaking a bit as it goes.  And then suddenly it splits into component parts, all hovering over the table.  Rey’s eyes snap open and she looks over to Kylo in alarm.  “Did I break it?”

 

He smothers a chuckle. “That’s what it’s supposed to do.”  Kylo smiles encouragingly.  “Now, here come its secrets.”

 

A hologram projection appears after a moment of static.  It’s a recording of some kind.  Together, Rey and Kylo watch side-by-side in rapt attention. 

 

The hologram shows an elegant, youngish looking Muun woman.  She's sitting on a couch in what looks like someone's house.  Dressed in very expensive looking clothes.  From her fashion, Rey can tell that this recording is old.  Probably late Republic judging by how ornate she looks. 

 

_"_ Are we recording?" the strange woman asks.  An off-camera droid beeps an affirmative answer.   The Muun woman smiles and looks directly at the camera to begin.  "My name is Shan Merga--"

 

"Damask," a deep male voice from off-camera corrects.  It's a familiar voice but Rey can't place it.

 

"My Jedi name was Shan Merga," the woman reminds whoever is speaking.  Then she continues. "I am Padawan Learner to Jocasta Nu. Master to no one."

 

"You can omit that part," the male voice interjects again.  "The stupid Jedi did not appreciate--"

 

“Stop!”  The woman looks annoyed by the repeated interruptions.  She turns her head to address someone to her right.  The movement reveals her lovely profile.  She has beautiful, smooth grey skin.  "This is how all Jedi holochrons begin--with a recitation of credentials.  It's tradition. And I am master to no one. That's a fact."  The Muun lady frowns at whoever she addresses. "Now, if you want me to do this, go away.  Go micromanage something else for a few minutes.  I don't know why you want me to do this," she grumbles. 

 

The off-camera man is impatient with her objections. "Because you know a great deal about the Force."

 

"I used to know about the Force," the Muun lady responds dejectedly. 

 

"You still have all the knowledge, even if you no longer have the skill.  And your knowledge should be preserved.  When the Jedi are gone, the Light will remain.  The knowledge of the Light should remain too.  Do this, my dear, for posterity.  Do it for the Force.  Do it for me."

 

"No one is ever going to look at this tape,” the woman complains.  “You will never fully dismantle the Jedi Order."  The woman's expression and tone tell Rey that this is an old argument she’s had many times previous. 

 

“No, my love.  I will avenge you.”  The man's response is full of menace.  "I look forward to killing the Jedi.  Master Yoda most especially."

 

The Muun lady makes a face.  Clearly, she's forgotten that the camera is still recording.  "I don't need anyone to die.  I'll settle for getting my Force back."

 

"I won't,” the man snaps before vowing, “Yoda will die for his crimes. As will they all.  Every last one of them."  The man's voice is hard and cold.  He is resolved and will not debate this.  Now he starts issuing instructions.  "Be sure to talk about your visions and what it means to surrender to the will of the Force.   How you get deeper into the Force and how you pull back.  You were masterful at that, my dear.  Simply masterful.  You were a joy to watch."

 

The Muun woman nods with little enthusiasm.  "Okay."  

 

There are sounds of footsteps leaving and then the woman faces the camera and somewhat grimly begins again. "I am Shan Merga Damask.  Former Jedi Knight of the Galactic Republic.  Padawan Learner to Jocasta Nu.  Master to no one.  E-Expelled from the Jedi Order . . . “  The woman falters a moment.  Then she rallies to rush out the words, “Expelled from the Jedi Order for marriage and deceit." 

 

And then the Muun woman starts talking about the Light.  About the various Jedi theories of the Force and how they each have a kernel of truth but they mostly get it wrong.  About how to practice connecting with the Force through meditation.   The long-ago woman looks less stiff and more engaged now.  She's even smiling a bit wistfully now and then when she speaks of the Force.  Her initial reluctance is gone as she warms to her topic.  Because, yes, this woman does know a lot about the Force.

 

Your focus should not be on going deeper into the Force so much as on the control of pulling back, she advises.  You almost swoon into the Force.  Going into the Force should be effortless, never labored.  It's the getting out that is the harder task.  Control is the skill to refine, she instructs, not immersion.   Control is how you build stamina.  Control will allow you to stay in the Force longer and to use the Force more potently over time.

 

The woman in the recording turns out to be a Jedi seer, not a healer. But much of what she describes resonates with Rey.  Rey might have used different words, but she recognizes the concepts this woman speaks of.  The Muun woman even has a few specific techniques that Rey thinks might be worth a try for Force healing. 

 

Towards the end of the recording a child walks in front of the camera.  Only his back shows, not his face, but he’s clearly a Muun like the woman. The boy doesn't seem to understand that he is interrupting. "Mom, where's my datapad?" he whines.  “I can’t find my datapad.”

 

"Again?” the woman asks.  “I haven't seen it.  Did you ask Milo?"

 

"He hasn't seen it either," the boy complains. "I need it for my homework."

 

“Well, when did you last see it?”

 

“I don’t know,” the boy grumbles. 

 

And that answer irritates the Jedi woman.  "Caar Damask, when will you learn to keep track of your own stuff?  You're ten now."   She looks exasperated. 

 

"Can I borrow yours?"

 

"Sure,” she concedes.  “It's in my purse.  But be sure to charge it afterwards.  Now, let me finish this recording for your father.  He’s been nagging me to do this for forever."

 

"You're recording something?"  The child turns around and faces the camera head on. He looks just like his mother.  Sweet-faced with a broad mouth.  "Oh, hey Four Dee.  I didn't see you there."   The boy turns back around to his mother.  "Is this more of Dad's Force stuff?" he gripes.  "The Force is so stupid."

 

His mother gives him a look.  "Do not let your father hear you say that."

 

"Well, it is," the boy retorts with childish resentment.  "It's all he cares about.  The Force and money."

 

"You know that's not true," the woman says softly.  "Your father loves you very much.   And so do I.  You must be patient, Caar.  There is still plenty of time for you to have an Awakening."

 

This too is apparently an old argument, for the boy explodes with a pent-up vehemence that is totally disproportionate to the tone of the conversation.  "I don't have the Force, Mom!  When are you and Dad going to admit that?  I don’t have the Force and I never will and I’m glad about that.  I’m glad!"  And then the boy stomps off camera.  “This is all your fault!” he accuses.

 

The woman sits on the couch a long moment, looking down in dismay as she bites her lip.  Then she sighs as she looks up to speak to the droid doing the recording.  "Four Dee, we'll have to do some editing before I put this in the holochron."  She flashes a little wry smile as she wipes furtively at one eye. "Posterity needs knowledge of the Force, not our family drama."  Then the recording fuzzes out into static.   

 

It’s over.

 

Rey sits back, processing it all.  "That was . . .   She was . . ."  Rey can't quite find the words to describe what she has seen.  Because she recognizes the name Shan and she has placed the male voice at the beginning now.

 

"You know who she is, right?" Kylo confirms her hunch.  “Shan Damask was the wife of Hego Damask.  Hego Damask was the Chairman of the Intergalactic Banking Clan during the latter days of the Old Republic.  And Hego Damask was the public alias of Darth Plagueis.”

 

“That was Snoke's voice on the tape, wasn't it?” Rey asks. 

 

Kylo nods.  “I knew of his former life.  And I knew he had a history professor wife.  But I didn't know until recently that she had been a Jedi.  And I never knew they had a son together.” 

 

Rey looks hard at the holochron cube that has reassembled itself.  It is resting on the table before them, its secrets safe and secure once again.  Locked by the Force inside the little blue cube.  This glimpse into the private past of the Supreme Leader is so unsettling to Rey.  Because the Force, the family, the conflict.  It’s all so . . . wrong. 

 

Sure, Rey didn't grow up with her own family.  But she has seen real families on the holonet.  Nice affluent families like the Snokes must have been.  Families where everyone smiles and says hello when someone walks in the room.   Families where in the afternoon Mom is in the kitchen finishing baking cookies.  She doesn't have to work because Dad makes good credits.  The kid comes in and kisses her hello and Mom pours him some blue milk to go with the cookies she baked and he tells her all about his day at school.  Maybe Mom gives him some good advice that helps him through some problem at school.  Then the kid says thanks and goes off to do his homework with the datapad he takes good care of.  He's responsible like that.  And after homework and a few chores, Mom lets the kid waste time with his friends.  Maybe go to Tosche Station or someplace fun like that. 

 

Later that night, Dad comes home and everyone happily has dinner together.  It's nice and normal.  Yeah, sure maybe Mom can be a bit zany when she is stressed and Dad does stupid things like forgets their anniversary.  Or maybe he gets laid off and they worry about money for an episode or two, but it all turns out alright because they are a family and they love each other.  Everyone stays together and it's happily ever after.   No matter what happens, everything always turns out okay in the end.  At least, that’s how it works on the holonet.  But those holonet families are nothing like the Snoke family, Rey sees.   

 

"They are so weird."  Rey frowns.  There is so much wrong with the Snokes.  Starting with the Sith paterfamilias vowing murder and revenge.  But one thing rushes up to the forefront of all the conflict.  "Real families don't fight over the Force." 

 

Kylo snorts.  "Mine did all the time."

 

"Your family had issues, Kylo."  You killed your father, Rey thinks.  And you're still planning to kill your uncle.  "The Force is your thing. You were Skywalkers," she rationalizes.

 

"So were the Damasks," Kylo tells her cryptically.  "And they don’t seem half as messed up as the later generations.”

 

"I feel sorry for that kid," Rey says softly.  For the unhappy Muun boy who will get beheaded in his sleep while his mother is hacked to death.  “Snoke said that the Emperor killed him.”

 

"In a lot of ways, I was that kid." Kylo’s voice is bitter.   “My family fought over everything, Rey.  The Force, politics, money, you name it.  My mother would scream, my father would leave and then she would cry.  Then my uncle would come over and start meddling.  He always made things worse."

 

“So, what did you do?” Rey asks.

 

Kylo shrugs.  “I skipped school.  Ran away.  Locked myself in my room to study the Clone Wars.  Things like that.”

 

“That doesn’t sound like you at all,” Rey frowns.  Kylo Ren isn’t a man who avoids conflict or runs from his problems.  If anything, the First Knight goes looking for trouble.  Just look at how he pokes at General Hux.

 

Kylo looks her squarely in the eye now.  “One day, I stopped running from it all and decided to confront it.  To use my emotions instead of bury them.  To take charge of my life instead of arguing against what others had planned for me.   I liberated myself from the expectations and values of others.  It was the most empowering decision of my life.  Never once have I regretted it.”

 

“What decision?”

 

“To become Sith.”

 

Rey frowns at this. “Even with all the killing?”

 

“The Sith are not butchers, Rey.  There is always a reason for our violence.  Sometimes you must use messy means in order to deliver progress.  In this war, we are architects of the future.  In the end, we will settle on peace and the Force will reset to a new balance.  You will see.”

 

“I don’t understand this balance idea.  It doesn’t look like the Snoke family had any balance.”  Rey is still stuck ruminating over the strange family dynamics she has just witnessed.  The Dark had married the Light.  The Sith had bound himself to a Jedi.  But whatever balance that was supposed to bring didn’t exactly seem to work out judging by this recording full of stale bickering.  “When Snoke speaks of his Jedi wife, it sounds like he actually might have loved her,” a confused Rey tells Kylo.  “But his wife didn't look very happy on that tape.  I don't think she liked talking about the Force either.” 

 

“That's because she didn't have the Force anymore,” Kylo reveals.  “The Jedi Council stripped her of the Force.  I guess when they expelled her.” 

 

“Can you do that?  Can you take someone's Force away?”  Rey turns wide eyes to Kylo.

 

He shrugs.  “Apparently, so.”    

 

“Well, I don't want to be her,” Rey whispers her thoughts aloud.  “I don't want to be trapped married to Snoke.”  

 

She feels Kylo reach to cover her hand with his.  “I'm sorry, Rey.  I wish I could change things for you.” 

 

She turns to him now.  “Kylo—“

 

But he stops her, squeezing her hand slightly.  “Rey, I wish I could change your past.  I wish I could change your future.  But I cannot.”

 

“You can,” Rey looks to him with hopeful eyes.  “You could let me escape,” she urges.  Rey is babbling now.  For seeing Snoke’s long dead Jedi wife has made Rey suddenly feel very desperate.   “We could make it look good.  He would never know that you helped and—“

 

“No,” Kylo stops her.  His dark, intense eyes are full of regret.  “You know I can't do that.  I must obey my Master.  And besides,” he half-smiles, “I like having you around.” 

 

That must remind him.  For abruptly, Kylo stands and walks over to the table.  He begins cleaning off his dinner knife.  They lock eyes and Rey knows what's coming next.   He helped her with her holochron cube and now it’s Rey’s turn to return the favor.

 

And now, the idea that Rey has been turning over in her mind all week comes straight out her mouth.  "Kylo, I don't have to heal you for you to feel the Light."   At least, she doesn't think so.   Not after what had happened between her and Snoke.

 

Kylo just smiles across at her.  "I like you healing me, Rey."

 

Yes, she knows.  She’s witnessed that pleasure from both Sith now.  And that’s what has given Rey this idea.  "You would like this too," Rey tells him, feeling her face blush hot and red.  Can she do this?   Is she really bold enough to do this?  To thwart Snoke like this?  

 

"What do you mean?" Kylo asks as he walks forward, already rolling up his left sleeve. 

 

Rey stands now and intercepts the knife he has poised to cut.  "No," she says softly as she drops it to the ground.  “Let’s do this differently.”  Kylo looks down at her questioningly.  But while Rey might be brave enough to do this, but she isn’t brave enough to put it into words.  So she settles for action.  "Kiss me," Rey whispers as she reaches up to pull him his face down to hers.  "Kiss me, Kylo." 

 


	15. Chapter 15

“Kiss me, Kylo,” she tells him and how can he refuse?  He has been daydreaming about kissing Rey again ever since that day she had healed him and they had ended up on her bed together.  So tonight, it’s almost involuntary as his mouth finds her lips and his hands find her body and all that pent-up desire is surging for release.   But while his body is more than willing, his mind is not.  "We can't do this,” he groans into her neck.  “You know we can't do this." 

 

And just who is he trying to convince—himself or her?  Both.  Because this is dangerous.   Very dangerous.

 

But, oh Gods! He has been too long without a woman.  His body craves this desperately.  He and his knights haven't been partying on Coruscant for months. Since long before the Starkiller.  Long before killing Han Solo. And long before this beautiful girl with her shining Light was awakened to the Force and came into his world like a lightning strike.   

 

But Rey is no hired fun for the night.  She's the girl who might have been his uncle's new padawan learner.  She's a healer priestess of the Light.  And she's his Master's pet virgin who Kylo Ren absolutely must keep his hands off.  Old Darth Plagueis will murder him for this.  For coveting the girl who belongs to him. For deflowering the maiden the Muun has been waiting to enjoy himself.  And, most of all, for giving in to the temptation of her forbidden Light. 

 

This is dangerous.  Very dangerous.

 

"Tell me to stop, Rey," he pants out between wet, open-mouthed kisses. "Tell me you want me to stop.  Make me stop."  He needs to hear it from her because he lacks the self-discipline to stop himself.  Not when he has Rey's soft lips yielding to his, her silken hair entwined in his fingers, and her body pressed against his.  Oh, damn, this is so wrong but it feels so right.

 

And Rey isn't resisting him.  She's gasping and panting and arching and moaning.  She wants him.  She wants this.  And suddenly Kylo knows that she won't stop him.  She even says it now. "You, Kylo.  I want it to be you first."  

 

"Rey--"

 

Something about his tone must reveal his hesitancy.  For she pulls back to look him in the eye and explain.  "It's only a matter of time before I have to go back to him.   And then once I heal him . . .  Oh, Kylo, I won't be able to resist him."

 

"Rey--"  The thought is so unsettling.  His Rey in bed against her will with his Master.  Her slender form to be abused and used by the Muun.  He can't bear to think of his Rey being treated like that.  She’s already suffered far more than any person should.  And he remembers now the look on Rey’s face when she had returned to the _Finalizer_ and he knows that her fears are well founded.  This isn’t a girl who complains or cries wolf.

 

She’s gripping his arms now, staring up at him, her eyes searching his for understanding.  Pleading with him.  "I am a prisoner, Kylo.  If you won't let me escape, then give me this.  Let me make a choice for myself tonight. Because there will be no choices with him."

 

She’s right.  Kylo has been the Apprentice long enough to know that there are no choices but his control freak Sith Master’s choices.  Tonight is an act of defiance for Rey, he realizes.  But this is a foolhardy risk for both of them. "Rey, we can't do this.  He will find out and he will kill you.  He'll get in your head and he will know."

 

She disagrees.  "He won't kill me yet. He needs me to heal him.  He’ll keep me alive awhile longer.  But maybe then he won’t want me that way any longer," Rey reasons. 

 

So this is her ploy—to defy Snoke and hope that he won’t want her if he isn’t the first and only?  That’s a dubious strategy, Kylo thinks.  "Rey,” he warns her.  “Snoke doesn't have to kill you to hurt you.”  This Kylo knows from long experience.

 

"He's going to kill me anyway.  Once I heal him and he tires of me, he will kill me."  She’s on the verge of tears now.  “I want to do this for myself, as my choice.  With the man that I choose.  Before he forces me.  Before he kills me, Kylo.” 

 

Again, she's right.  Kylo has never known his Master to keep a woman before.  And maybe that's because Rey has already lasted longer than the others.  And she's living on borrowed time now anyway as a Resistance fighter who tried to scuttle the Starkiller.  Plus, she's a Light Side Force-user who could become an enemy.  And, oh damn, he's forgotten that she has seen the map to Skywalker. Yes, Rey is right. There's no way Snoke will turn her loose when he's through with her.  He'll have to kill her.

 

Kylo has a horrifying thought now: maybe his Master will make him be the one to kill her.

 

This girl is doomed, he realizes.  She was doomed from the moment she found the droid in the desert that led her to the First Order and to him.   What is it his Master says?  That the Light and the Dark come together for a reason.  Of course, the rational Muun would be looking for a reason. The girl is to heal old Plagueis so that the Dark Side and the First Order will win.  So that once more the Sith shall rule the galaxy.  And then Skywalker and this unlucky girl will perish as the remnants of the Light.

 

Gods, Kylo wishes he could do this for her.  Well, for him too.  But he can’t. 

 

With a deep breath, he steps back from her and she lets her arms fall.  He is resigned now. “Rey, I can’t do this.”  Because even if Snoke doesn’t kill her, his Master will most certainly kill him.  This is the sort of reckless defiance that Darth Plagueis would be contemptuous of in an Apprentice.

 

Rey’s face flames scarlet with embarrassment as she awkwardly stammers out, "I understand.”  Then a moment later she says the unthinkable.  “If you don't want me, I'll find a man who does.” And she means it too.  Kylo can sense her determination in the Force.

 

And, no, that’s all wrong and she has completely misunderstood him.  It’s not that he doesn’t want Rey.  Dammit, he’s hard and hot for this girl already.  In his dreams, he’s already had her in bed a dozen times.  But those are dreams, not reality.  And Kylo Ren, Sith Apprentice, isn’t about to throw his life away for any girl.  Not even Rey with her magical Light, elegant figure and intrinsic dignity.

 

She is already fleeing for the door.  “Where are you going?” he asks.  Because wait—they’re not done yet.  He still wants Rey to heal him.

 

Rey turns around and mortified rejection is written all over her face.  He sees her visibly swallow before she announces resolutely, “I'll get on Hux's waiting list if I have to."

 

What the fuck?  Hux??  Kylo stalks over to her now.  "The Hell you will!"

 

And that gets her hackles up.  Now Rey has her hands on her hips, looking up at him.  It’s very Leia Organa and that’s downright weird right now.  "Kylo, if you won't let me escape, and you won’t give me this, then don’t stand in my way.  I am not going virgin to Snoke.  I’m taking this from him." 

 

He sees that she is being stubborn and defiant.  Just like his mother.  "Rey, this is a death sentence--you know that, right?  Trust me, he will kill any man who touches you."

 

Rey’s face hardens.  "Then Hux it is," she decides.   She reaches to activate the door and Kylo catches her arm just as she starts to leave.  Irritated, he slaps shut the door release with one hand as he grips her tightly with the other.   He’s angry now and Kylo is not sure exactly why.  Maybe because everything about this no-win situation is frustrating. 

 

His demeanor melts her antagonism.  Now, Rey looks at him beseeching.  “Oh Kylo, please.  I would prefer that it be you.  And it won't mean anything.  It doesn't have to mean anything. I promise it won't mean anything.”   And, truly, this has to be the strangest conversation ever, he thinks.  Because isn’t the guy supposed to be the one talking the girl into bed?  “I won’t care if you won’t care.”

 

Oh, Gods, his perfect girl is reduced to begging him now.  Begging him to make love to her.  This is like some exquisite torture only a Sith could dream up.  For his Master truly will murder him if he does this. But she's pressed up against him and how can he say no to her? Just one more kiss, he thinks.  One more kiss and then he will never touch her again.  Honest.  But right now, he wants just a little bit more.  Kylo Ren is a Sith and he always wants more. 

 

But that one more kiss is his undoing.  For he loses his resolve as she reaches up to pull his face down to hers.  He's so hard and hot for her now.  "This is madness.  It will get us both killed."  But he's decided now.  Kylo Ren is a Sith and he takes what he wants. And tonight, he will take what Rey is offering.  He breaks the kiss and leads her by the hand into his bedroom. 

 

“You’re sure?” he asks.  He wants to give Rey a chance to back out.  Now, before they’ve got their clothes off and they can no longer think straight.

 

“Yes,” Rey nods.  “You’re sure?”

 

No.  No, he’s not.  But he’s doing it anyway.  “Yes.”

 

“I don’t know what to—“

 

“Don’t worry.”  He reaches to cup her cheek.  He can feel her anxiety in the Force.  She is so young.  A teenaged virgin feeling desperate and defiant enough to defy the most powerful Sith Master who has ever lived.   Kylo can’t decide if she is being stupid or brave.  “Just relax, Rey.  Try and relax.”   

 

She nods and her earnestness just kills him.  They will do this right, he decides. Because if they are going to risk death for this, he wants to make it memorable.  And, really, it should be.  Because Rey matters and Kylo has never been much for casual sex.  But he has no idea how to go about this because he's never been with a girl for her first time.  Slowly, he thinks instinctively.  They should do this slowly.  He will please Rey first before he pleases himself.  This poor abandoned girl has had so few pleasures in her life.  Tonight will be one of them, he vows.  

 

He steps behind her and moves her hair aside.  Then reaches to unzip her dress.  She’s wearing the same pale blue dress she wore when he first saw Rey cleaned up and made up back at Snoke’s stronghold.  She shivers at his touch and then he sees that Rey is trembling slightly.  His hands are on her shoulders now, pushing the dress off her frame.  It falls in a hushed whisper to the floor.  Kylo leans in to kiss the nape of her neck. 

 

“Gods, you are beautiful.  So beautiful.”  She’s wearing a white lace bra and panties.  It looks like something a bride might wear.  So dainty and delicate.  So chaste.

 

He sheds his own clothes now until he is as bare as she.  Then he steps up from behind, pulling her close as his arms encircle her.  His mouth finds her neck again as one hand goes up to her breasts and the other hands goes down to her panties.  Can she feel him?  He rubs against her.  Wanting her to feel how hard and excited he is for this.

 

“I have wanted this,” he whispers.  “I have wanted you.”

 

“You want the Light,” she chokes out. 

 

“I want it all, Rey.  You and your Light.”

 

He eases her panties down her hips.   Then he makes short work of her bra.  And now they are on his bed and he is worshiping her petite breasts.  Teasing them with his mouth while she writhes beneath him.  He trails kisses down her torso as his hands reach farther down below.  Rey has a moment of panic that ripples through the Force and he pulls back, not wanting to rush things.   He returns to her mouth, to kiss away her fears.   And with that distraction, he slips his hand back down.  Yes, she is slick and wet. Her thighs fall open, and that is the invitation he was waiting for.  This time, the trail of kisses down her torso keeps going all the way. 

 

She is suddenly shy again, reflexively pulling back from him.  Her bony thighs coming up around his ears.  “No,” he tells her as he gently presses them back down, holding her legs open to him. There is another moment of panic as his mouth begins to explore.  She is bucking beneath his firm grip.  Rey doesn’t know this, but she needs this.  She wants this.  This will make things easier.  Soon, she surrenders and now it’s his mouth and his hands together that pleasure her.  She is moaning and gasping as he teases her inside and out.  She is climbing now and oddly enough he can sense it in the Force.  Feeling her rising pleasure even as he sees her body tensing.   He renews his efforts and ups the intensity.  Then his lovely scavenger girl loses herself in the moment with a small gasping, keening cry.   

 

He doesn’t hear her so much as feel her.  And it’s a revelation like no other.

 

"Oh, Gods!  You're--   You--”  Kylo is dumbfounded by this discovery.  Taken by surprise by the wave of Light that has just crested over his mind through the Force.  Bathing him gently as it washes free the taint of Darkness for one heart stopping moment of pure joy. 

 

This, then, is balance.  This is what it means to be neither Light nor Dark.  To just be in the moment in the Force.   It is the prophesy of the Chosen One long foretold and for a brief moment, it is his to behold.  For Kylo Ren is a Skywalker, and this is his right.

 

“Oh, yes!  Yes!”  He is clutching at her face now, staring back at her in wide eyed rapture.  “Oh, I need this.  I need this so much!"

 

Can she feel this?  Does she understand?  Rey is blinking at him, then nodding slightly.  And he remembers her words from earlier.  How she didn’t have to heal him to give him her Light.  Yes, she knew.  And she had felt this too.  Gods, if he had known that this would happen, Kylo would have seduced Rey from the first night they were alone on the _Finalizer_.  Because this is epic and life-altering and more . . . he wants more. 

 

She’s ready for him.  With her legs splayed and her juices flowing.  With her pink tinged cheeks and her mouth open and panting.   He is hard as a rock for this woman.  Poised and ready.  Lusting for her body and lusting for more of her Light.  And feeling fully a man as never before because he’s about to penetrate his Master’s rebellious bride.  Yes, Kylo Ren has never felt more powerfully Sith than he does in this moment.  About to betray his Master, fuck a girl and see the forbidden Light all at once.   Yes, today this Sith Apprentice dares anything. 

 

He forces himself not to ram deep into her.  Instead to ease his way in and give her a chance to breath.  But it’s so damn hard because this girl envelopes him in her tight warmth and he’s nearly undone by it.  Biting his lip, he waits.  “Are you alright?” he rasps.  “Did I hurt you?”  Gods, he hopes he didn’t hurt her.

 

“I’m fine,” Rey pants out.  “I’m fine.”

 

That’s what he needs to hear.  Carefully, Kylo starts to move.  But his slow sliding rhythm is too much friction and he’s in danger of losing himself too soon.  Because that’s how amazing Rey feels.  And look at her with her head thrown back and her eyes closed.  She is loving this.  Can she do it again?  He knows that not all girls can do it like this.  But Rey has to do it again.  He simply must feel her do it again.  So Kylo picks up the pace and throws one of her legs over his shoulder and now he is thrusting deep and hard.  He’s going to find just the right angle to make her lose control again.  Her eyes have popped open and now she is grunting now at his efforts and yes, that’s just what she likes. 

 

“Oh!”  Rey sounds almost panicked again.  Eyes shocked wide and mouth open.

 

“Give in to it,” he urges as he renews the vigor of his efforts.  This needs to happen soon.  Because he won’t last much longer. “Let go!” 

 

Faster now.  He can see her breath catch and her neck arch and just when he can’t stand it any longer, Rey tips over into pleasure.  And there it is again—the wave of power that ripples through the Force.  Her Light radiating forth to crash over him in the moment.   His body is so ready that the feel of her power against his mind is all that it takes to trigger his own release.  Kylo is shouting now, incoherently bellowing out his ecstasy.   This woman is the ultimate experience.  Sex and the Force combined.

 

Completely sated, he crashes down over her.  Burying his face in her neck.    Inhaling the scent of her hair, her sweat and her perfume.  Breathing in Rey as he memorizes this feeling.

 

For, oh, how he needs this.  Now and forever, he will need this.  Kylo’s mind is already considering the implications of tonight’s discovery.  How there might be no limits to his Dark power if he could regularly return to Rey’s arms for communion with the Light.   How he might be the ultimate Sith by day if he could secretly worship her Light by night.  His power bolstered and renewed by hers.  Because no matter how heinous his crimes and how Dark his heart, she will wash him clean and he will have balance.

 

And oh, how glorious this is.  He doesn’t need to cut, he just needs to fuck.  The secret isn’t pain, it is pleasure. 

 

“Rey, thank you . . . thank you . . . “  He’s up on his elbows now, staring down at the beautiful girl he has defied his Master for.  Yes, she is worth it.  Absolutely worth it.

 

He had found her in the woods not long after she had seen him in a vision.  Then they had matched wits to a draw in interrogation and crossed swords in an uncomfortably even fight.  First, she had bested him.  Then, he had taken her.  All in those snowy woods against the backdrop of a rupturing world.  Three times that same day, the Force had drawn them together.  The awakened Jedi prodigy and the longtime Sith student.  Light to Dark, evenly matched, perfectly balanced.  And now, Kylo feels an utter fool for not having seen it sooner.  Rey had been meant for him.  All along, this girl should have been his. 

 

And his Master had stolen her from him.   

 

His Master with his long dead Jedi wife had known, Kylo is certain.  So when unsuspecting Kylo had shown up to deliver old Darth Plagueis an untrained Light Side girl who could heal, it was like ten childhood Christmas mornings and a birthday rolled into one.  Kylo had foolishly figured his Master would kill Rey, but that had never been the plan.  No wonder the old Muun had seemed only mildly perturbed about the loss of the Starkiller.  Far more had been gained that day than lost.

 

Kylo scowls now at the thought of Darth Plagueis the Wise.  He’s the greedy four-hundred-year-old Muun banker who quietly owns more than half of the galaxy’s wealth.  The man had spent trillions of credits on the Starkiller without blinking an eye, with only Hosnia to show for his return on investment.  He’s the eternal, immortal, most powerful Sith Master of all.  The Dark Side geek who spends hours studying Kittat and who zealously guards the secrets to reviving, prolonging and creating life.   The reclusive Svengali of the First Order, the secret mastermind of the Empire, the mentor to old Sheev Palpatine and the little known father-in-the-Force of Darth Vader.  His Master is a man whose aegis has been felt from one end of the galaxy to the other for decades now.  A man with all the power, influence, wealth and glory any Sith could ever want.  And still, it was not enough and creepy old Darth Plagueis had to have more.  He had to take Rey from him too. 

 

Kylo seethes. 

 

He is a Skywalker, and this girl—his balance--is his birthright.  Sent to him by the Force but stolen from him by the Muun.  By Darth Plagueis who had mocked him for years for his attraction to the Light.  For the pull that Kylo can never seem to fully reject.  For the weakness that it turns out both Master and Apprentice share.

 

Rey sees and mistakes Kylo’s fierce expression.  For she’s defensive and apologetic as she stutters out, “This didn't mean anything.  I promise.” 

 

“Oh, no, Rey,” Kylo leans in to kiss her tenderly.  For this girl is the most precious thing in the universe right now.  “This means everything.  You mean everything.”  Yes, Kylo thinks, Rey of Jakku is the best mistake of his life.   And reckless in the afterglow of her body and her Light, the Apprentice promises, “I will not let him have you.  You are mine Rey, all mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe another chapter later this week? Not sure. Had a respite from the festivities last night and wrote this, but going out all the other nights this week.


	16. Chapter 16

By the end of that first week, Kylo pretty much moves Rey into his quarters.  And he gets away with it because so few people onboard have access to the corridor their quarters are on.  He and Rey go from jailer-prisoner to tenuous quasi-colleagues to lovers to playing house in record time.   And while the First Knight of the First Order has taken many risks in his time, shacking up with Rey is by far the most daring, most dangerous, most foolhardy risk he has ever taken.

 

But, truthfully, most days he doesn't care.   Because these are the best days of his life.

 

In the morning, he wakes nestled next to her.   Then she's in the shower hollering out at him as he shaves and listens.  He fiddles with three datapads and guzzles black caf as she picks at breakfast.  Then he’s off to the bridge or on a mission and she’s off to the medibay.  At night, she meets him at the door to take his helmet and greets him with a kiss.  Then she peels off his surcoat and helps him yank off his boots.  Sometimes they get sidetracked with all this disrobing and end up in bed before dinner. But whether they eat first or last, he and Rey inevitably end up in bed.  Then she falls asleep in his arms. 

 

He can't get enough of Rey.  Theirs is a reckless, heady, lusty affair notwithstanding all this pseudo-newlywed conventional domesticity.  She's on top, he's on top, then he’s taking her from behind.  He's got her up against the wall, bent over a table, then sitting on a counter.  He keeps just his mask on, or maybe his gloves on, or sometimes they are in a rush and he's still got everything on.  Whatever it is, Rey is up for it. 

 

He gorges himself on Rey.  For desperately he needs the physical comfort of her body, the intimate closeness of their connection, and the long denied reconciliation with the Light.  It is the comfort he will always need, for the Dark Side takes its toll.   So returning from missions with his Knights, Kylo counts the steps from the hangar bay to his quarters.   For no matter what his misdeeds that day in the name of progress, Rey will spread her legs to invite him in.  So warm and welcoming.  So slick.  Her body envelopes him tight and, oh yes, he is home and Rey and her Light will make it all better.

 

This is not Luke Skywalker's Light Side with its many conditions and strings attached.  Rey is not the Jedi Academy with its archaic dogma and meaningless platitudes he memorized as a child but never understood.  This is something far more pure.  Distilled to its essence of mercy, forgiveness, acceptance and healing.  All freely given in absolution.  This, Kylo thinks as he basks in the afterglow, is everything he has ever needed. 

 

It's the ultimate stress relief for the busy Sith Apprentice who is planning to conquer the galaxy and growing Darker by the day.  And it's a welcome intimacy for a man who is universally feared and who separates himself from most everyone by a mask.  In private with Rey, Kylo can be his full self.  And that’s nothing new:  from the beginning, he has been honest with Rey.  Kylo keeps no secrets from her even if there are things he has yet to tell her.  Because when the time is right, he plans to tell her the truth.  All of it, in all its ugly awkwardness.  Now that they have basically signed their own death warrants, he wants the time they have together to be honest and pure.   One day this is all going to end abruptly, he knows.  So Kylo will make sure that it is real while it lasts. 

 

Tell me about Jakku, he says one night as they are naked and entangled.  Kylo wants to know her past, he says as he absently strokes her back.  And that's how they begin trading stories. 

 

Rey's best memories are of adventure and exploration amid the battle wreckage strewn over her home world. She is proud of the creative uses she had for salvaged scrap, especially of a speeder bike she built herself.  Proud too of the piloting skills she acquired on her own from reconditioned simulators.  It turns out that hers has been a lonely life of make believe accomplishments and secondhand pleasures.  From her solitary correspondence course schooling remotely over the holonet to her hours spent watching its silly family sitcoms and escapist serials, Rey has an idealized view of what real life, real relationships and real families should be like.  But she has no idea what they actually are like.  Because she's never had the opportunity.  And Kylo can't decide if he is more angry or sad about that.  All he can think is that whoever threw this girl away better be dead.  Because if Kylo Ren ever finds them, they will wish he would let them die.

 

Tell me the bad stuff too, Kylo urges, because he knows that there is plenty.  And these stories are truncated and sometimes end in silent tears.  They are tales of deprivation and isolation.  Of the many times Rey thought she was facing the end, whether it was from starvation, thirst, illness or injury. Years later Rey marvels still at the outcome.   

 

_I survived it all._   _Sometimes it wasn't clear why or how, but I did.  I guess I was lucky._

How this scavenger girl can begin to consider herself lucky is beyond Kylo’s understanding.  And besides, in his experience, there's no such thing as luck.

_That wasn’t luck, Rey.  That was the Force_.

 

_What?_

_There is precious little Light in the universe these days, Rey.  But the Light, like the Dark, is eternal.  The Light endures, and so do you._

_Why?  For what purpose?_

_For us to meet, for this to happen. For Light and Dark to join together._  

 

Whatever that means for their future and for the galaxy's future.  Kylo isn't sure.

 

He’s concerned that he will get her pregnant.  But Rey tells him not to worry.  They told her in the infirmary back at Snoke's command center that she was infertile.  It's something about too little body fat and too many years of poor nutrition that keeps her from having periods like a normal woman.   At the infirmary, they had given her a bunch of vitamin shots and told her to eat more and maybe her body would right itself.  But that was months ago.  Rey just shrugs and gives him a sad half-smile.  He knows that look.  It's her, 'that's life' look.  And yeah, he knows shit happens.  But why does it always seem to happen to this girl?  Gods, he hates fucking Jakku. 

 

Kylo too shares his past.  Of the largely absent Han Solo who reappeared a few times a year only to fight with his mother and borrow money.  My parents met in the Rebellion, he tells Rey, and they were from two different worlds.  It was a romance kindled by the constant threat of death amid a backdrop of war. When the war was over, their differences remained and things fell apart.  Is your mother still alive, she asks with obvious trepidation.  Oh, yes, he assures Rey.  Do you hate her too?   No, he decides after a long moment.  She is my mother, after all.  But I wish she were a fundamentally different person. 

 

And then he tells her all about Princess Leia Organa, not her credentials or her name, but the mother he remembers.  Straightforward and focused, always in the thick of things, arguing to the end and stubbornly optimistic in a way that made her unable to compromise.  Too busy for a family, it was not unusual for young Ben Solo to spend a week at a time in care of others while his mother traveled the galaxy.  This is good practice, she would tell him, for when you are older and will be away training to be a Jedi.  And so from a very early age, Jedi training had negative connotations for young Ben Solo. 

 

He grew up in luxury with every advantage Rey lacked, but he grew up mostly alone.  Surrounded by his mother's staff and a revolving parade of caregivers.  Yet still alone.   Later amid all the hopeful Jedi padawans who didn't understand his attitude problem, Kylo’s younger self was more alone than ever.   And always, people looked to him to fulfill their own dreams of the future.  Never once considering what he wanted.  

 

I wanted to be an individual, he still complains bitterly years later. But my mother wanted me to be an extension of her causes.  Whether it was reestablishing the Jedi Order or colonizing a New Alderaan homeworld for survivors and their descendants, she and his uncle planned for Ben Solo to do it all and be it all.  Until at fifteen, he had an epiphany and decided to destroy it all.

 

What do the fallen Prince of Alderaan and the castoff desert scavenger have in common besides the Force?  Perhaps this is it--the long repressed need for intimacy.  Stalwart loners each, together they are separate floodgates of intense emotion and extreme experiences waiting to be opened.  He is bitter and angry, determined in his own way to surpass everyone's expectations.  She is sad and resigned, not so much hopeless as accepting of all the things she cannot change.   And it is Rey's matter of fact nature that enables her to listen unflinchingly to the story of his massacre at the Jedi Academy.   This is the girl, after all, who watched him ignite a lightsaber through his father’s heart.

 

Rey doesn't condone or even accept.  But she listens without judgment or agenda, and that is more than Snoke or his family has ever done. 

 

At least you had a family, Rey laments.  And he has to concede to this stark, painful truth.  For no matter their shortcomings, no one had walked away from him on a desolate world at age four.   Whatever the circumstances of Rey's abandonment, they are lost to time.  But the pain--the very real pain--is very much in the present.  Don't ever leave me, Rey sobs in his arms.  If I can’t escape Snoke, please don't walk away from me.   And he promises he never will.   If it comes to that, he will die with her. 

 

The more he learns of Rey, the more Kylo admires her.  For her determination, her savvy and her near miraculous survival.  So he could care less about the lingering quirks from her former life.

 

When Rey orders rations again for dinner one night, she is sheepish.  "Do you mind?" she asks.

 

He shrugs. "Rey, I don't care what you eat.  I only care that you eat.  I never want you to be hungry again."

 

"Me too."  Rey grins at this and then reveals, "Milo would never let me eat rations.  Apparently Snoke had forbidden it.  He was trying to make my food tastes more sophisticated."

 

"We Sith are controlling like that."   Snoke is as overbearing as they come, Kylo knows from experience.  And his Rey had gotten the full Pygmalion treatment from the Supreme Leader.  From how she looks, to what she eats, to what she reads and what she does.

 

Rey considers this. "But you don't try to control me."

 

"I don't want to control you.  And I don't want to change you, Rey.  You are who you are.  And I like who you are."  He is sincere.  Rey is perfect as far as Kylo is concerned.   

 

So when he finds her studying vocabulary lists Milo sends her, Kylo rolls his eyes and tells her to blow it off.  It's my homework, Rey explains and then she insists that she doesn't mind. Rey has very little formal education and she is ashamed of that, Kylo knows.  She is grateful for the chance to better herself.  That's a very good attitude, he commends her.  But don't ask me to use any of those four syllable words in a sentence.  Why?  Don't you know them, she challenges playfully.  I don’t use fancy words, he assures Rey.  That's Hux's job.   He talks, I do things.

 

But for all the happiness their secret intimacy brings, there is a streak of underlying desperation.  For they both know that this relationship is finite.  They need to share all they can with one another before time runs out.  They need to savor every night together because it could be the last.  Because one day, Rey will be summoned back to Snoke.  And then, there will be Hell to pay.

 

I won’t let him have you, Kylo promises her again and again.   Even though I can't keep you, Rey, I won't let him have you either.

 

So Kylo crafts a plan for Rey’s escape.  Keep your datapad close by at all times, he tells Rey.  When you get the message from Milo, you need to act immediately.  Do not stop to contact me.   The tricky part will be getting past the troopers in the hangar bay.  Kylo has a plan for that too.  First, he explains how to freeze blaster bolts and people in the Force.   Then he demonstrates.  By the end of that week, one of the walls of his quarters is pock marked with carbon scoring from blaster shots that slipped by the beginner Rey.  But she gets better with time and practice.

 

He gives Rey the override codes that will launch any ship in the _Finalizer_ hangar bay out the airlock and past the tractor beam.  If you can, steal an officer shuttle, he advises.  There are five kept prepped and waiting at all times.  The shuttles are fully fueled and have a hyperdrive that can outrun most TIEs.    Don't waste time trading fire with any pursuing ships.   Focus on making a jump away.  It doesn’t matter where you jump, Kylo instructs her.  Just get away and ditch the ship as fast as you can. 

 

Then he gives her a handful of untraceable credit cards.  Rey gapes at the amounts on them.  I've never actually used real credits before, she says with some awe.  And it reminds him of the meager in-kind bartering existence his Rey had lived for so long.  This is a girl who is so poor that she has never even seen real money.

 

When I escape, where should I go?   Rey looks to him for advice.  Don’t go back to Jakku, he decides.  That’s the first place Snoke will look.   And don’t go to the Resistance.  Please, don’t go to the Resistance.  Go live your life far away from war and Luke Skywalker.

 

Will I ever see you again, she asks.  No, Kylo tells her with regret.  It’s for the best that way.  And Rey nods solemnly and agrees.  Then for a long moment he stares deeply into her watery eyes.  Silently cursing the complicated circumstances that one day soon will tear them apart.  For the best case scenario is that he and Rey live their lives apart. 

 

And so he is moved to urge her to start anew.  Wherever you go, whatever you do, be happy, Rey.   Find someone else and be happy.  Don't be alone any longer.  Find someone to love who will love you back.   Someone who will treat you well and take care of you.  You deserve that.  I want that for you, Rey.

 

Meticulously, they discuss the plan and practice her skills.  Preparing for the day that will eventually come.  And all the while, it’s like living life on Death Row with a last ditch pending appeal, like living with a terminal diagnosis and a wide range of outcomes, like playing Russian Roulette when you don’t know if there is a bullet in the gun.   The likely outcome is pretty grim, but there’s a remote chance things will work out.  But still, you don’t know when or how you will learn the answer.

 

So as Kylo gazes over one night at his dreaming Rey, he wonders if she is the best thing that ever happened to him or the worst.  Is she a weakness that will be his undoing or is she a strength in disguise? Is this somehow the beginning of something lasting or merely the beginning of the end?  Will they actually get away with this affair?  Will Rey escape and be free?  Will he be successful in deflecting the blame?  And when all the dust settles, will Snoke be none the wiser?

 

The Force has brought he and Rey together.  Kylo is confident of this.  But the Force is not all controlling, his Master has taught him.  Beings have free will, and that self-determination can be a trap for the unwary.  For the Force is not always with you in the path you choose and that can lead to catastrophe.  Arrogance in the face of the Force has been the undoing of many a Sith.  But Snoke has cautioned that far more Dark Siders have fallen to foolish choices than to the whims of the Force.

 

Kylo Ren knows these lessons better than most.  For Jedi or Sith, his family history is replete with foolish choices.  Plus, destiny can be a bitch if you’re a Skywalker. 

 

He kneels before his Sith Master one day, having just given an unsatisfactory report on the search for the remaining Resistance bases.  Kylo is expecting a reprimand.  But today, Snoke surprises him.  His Master would rather speak of the Force than of war. 

 

“Apprentice, have you felt the call to the Light again?” the Muun asks.

 

And Kylo knows better than to lie.  “Yes, my Master.”

 

“Do not underestimate the Light, or suffer your grandfather’s fate you will.  Apprentice, the Light is fickle and it emasculates a Sith.  You might feel temporarily empowered and restored, but in truth you are weakened by it.  Too much Light and you will begin to crave it.  May even be tempted to join it.  And all the while, it will bleed your Dark power and blur your focus.”

 

Dutifully, Kylo nods.  “Yes, my Master.”

 

“Make the Light useful for your purposes.  Control it.  Contain it.  Like I do with our fair Lady Rey.”

 

“Yes, Master.”

 

Old Snoke gives him a hard look now.  And Kylo feels his face flush with shame.  “Mind your weakness, Apprentice.”

 

“Yes, Master.”

 

Once Kylo is safely away and back on the _Finalizer_ , he lights his sword and vents his frustration on an empty TIE fighter in the hangar bay.  Hacking and slashing and chopping away at the ship as half the crew looks on.  Angry at his hypocrite ‘do as I say, not as I do’ Master.  Worried that old Snoke might be suspicious.  Terrified that this means he and Rey will part soon.  And scared—yes, truly scared—of what his future without her will be like.   

 

Kylo Ren is a powerful man, but that doesn’t mean he can do what he wants.  He has responsibilities, obligations and an overbearing boss.  And today he chafes against it all.  For the first time since he was fifteen, Kylo wishes he were a regular man.  Without his Force, without his war, without his Master.  Not a Sith.  Not a Skywalker.   Just a regular, anonymous man free to choose an ordinary, boring life.  Weak Sith that he is, today Kylo might be tempted give up the fame, give up the glory, and give up the galaxy.  All for a life with Rey. 

 

 

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

“What are you reading?”  Kylo comes up behind her chair to glance down at the datapad Rey is poking at over breakfast. 

 

Rey smiles up at Kylo.  He’s fresh from the shower, still wrapped in a towel and smelling of shampoo and aftershave.  And looking disarmingly handsome too.  “I'm reading about the lady in the holochron,” she tells him.  “Mrs. Snoke.” 

 

He squints over her shoulder at the holonet entry titles displayed on the screen.  Rey’s search has turned up a long list of newsfeed articles.  _Financier and wife missing; young son found dead_.  The list of articles are all some flavor of this lurid headline.  Kylo peers closer now.  But Rey focuses him on the cogent point--the date.  "Look here.  Snoke’s wife never had a chance to edit that holochron tape, Kylo.  She disappeared—I guess died--later that week.  It’s so . . . sad.” 

 

Kylo nods thoughtfully.  “Yeah . . . the Sith are hard on their women,” he tells her.  And then he crosses to pour himself a cup of caf from the carafe on the table.  It’s the first of four cups of caf that the First Knight will down before he heads out to the bridge.   

 

Rey looks to him and asks, “Why did he give that holochron to me?  Snoke could have just given me that lesson in the Force himself.” 

 

Kylo shrugs and picks up his own datapad.  “He always has his reasons.  Usually multiple reasons.”  

 

“Like what?”  Rey isn’t following.  She needs her devious Sith to explain.  Because her mind doesn’t automatically go to subterfuge and stealth.  Rey tends to be open and direct. 

 

“He probably thought you might like learning from a real Jedi.  And he probably wanted you to look her up and learn her story.  And to find him.   Hego and Shan Damask are all over the old holonet archives.  Snoke was something of a celebrity in those days.”

 

Yes, Rey sees that.  “He looks so different now."  Really different.  Younger, uninjured Snoke was a tall, striking man.  There are hundreds of holonet pictures of him standing with his glamorous wife at parties, testifying before the Old Republic Senate, and making speeches and appearances.   It’s hard to reconcile this public figure with the monstrous, broken old Muun who haunts his ultra-private lair in a super-secret hidden command center.  Rey makes a face.  “He was sort of handsome, I guess.  If you’re into Muuns.”

 

“That's it,” Kylo says with a smile as he goes in for a kiss on Rey’s forehead.  “Old Snoke wants to turn your head by showing you the corporate hottie he once was.  Before Darth Sidious got him with his saber.”

 

“Whatever. I'm not into Muuns.”  Especially creepy, mangled Muuns with wandering hands.  Rey smiles up at Kylo.  “He's no you, Kylo.”

 

And that prompts him to put down his caf and datapad to go in for another kiss.  This time on her lips.  “You're right.  He can't compete with my ears,” Kylo whispers.

 

Rey laughs.  “He's missing half an ear.”

 

And now, she receives yet another kiss.  This one slow and lingering.  “Like I said . . .”  

 

Kylo never gets a chance to finish that sentence.  Because Rey reaches to snatch the towel from around his waist.  Then he’s chasing her buck naked across the room for it.  And then a few minutes later, they are both panting, hot and sweaty and they each need another shower.   That’s sort of how things are behind the closed and locked door of the First Knight’s quarters on the _Finalizer_.  Average, ordinary conversations often lead to much more.

 

Rey is part confessor, part lover, part therapist for Kylo.  She lies spent upon his chest, encircled in his arms as he whispers out the secrets of a Sith who grew up abruptly one day and never looked back.    His mind, his skills and his judgement may have continued to evolve and improve since then, but his heart has remained frozen and stunted at age fifteen.   Here is the son who felt pushed aside and ignored, here is the student who was underestimated and nagged, here is the boy who never had that first crush, first date, and first base with the girl next door.  He's a man long grown now, not a lost boy.  But the vestiges of decades old rejection, resentment and frustration remain. 

 

No one has ever tried to understand Kylo Ren before, and Kylo Ren has never bothered to explain himself to anyone.  Not until Rey. 

 

It's hard to listen to some of what Kylo tells her.  In part because she suspects it is only the tip of the iceberg.  He tells her of the random tantrum violence he uses as an outlet and of the rare examples of intentional violence he regrets.  Of the Starkiller he disdained but of the notorious First Order death camps he helps to fill.  Death is a necessity of war, it isn't personal, he explains. There are winners and losers on both sides.  Then he speaks of genocide with a casual nonchalance that is chilling. 

 

But he is no unthinking butcher, Kylo contends.  There is always a reason for my violence, he promises.  I am Apprentice to Darth Plagueis the Wise, and I have to account for it all.  For my Master is nothing if not logical and disciplined. And this too, Rey believes.  She might not accept this Sith's justifications, but there is a method to his madness.  And that increases the danger of his ambitions.  For this Dark Side killer is efficient, consistent and thoughtful in his campaign to subdue the galaxy.   Rey is half-convinced now that in the end he will win.

 

He is a Sith and his only God is power.   And woe be to any man, woman or child who stands between Kylo Ren and more power.  For the ends unabashedly justify his means.   From the beginning he has told Rey this:  that power matters more than anything or anybody. 

 

He speaks of Han Solo with a contempt and anger that is still very raw.  Kylo never says that he regrets killing his father, but he does tell Rey that he had thought it would feel more satisfying.  I have wanted to kill my father since I was a child, he confesses.  And when the moment came, I almost couldn't do it.  And then I did it and nothing changed.  That is his true lament, Rey realizes.  That killing his father didn’t prove him to be immune to the Light.  And it didn't take away the pain. 

 

And that is the deepest, Darkest secret of Kylo Ren:  that he is desperate for a means to take away the pain.  The power, the fame and the fear he has amassed don't fully satisfy him.  A hidden, buried part of Kylo Ren demands more.  So now he has turned to her.  To her passive listening ear, to her willing body, and to her Light.  The Light that takes away the pain, however briefly. 

 

He is a man penitent and humbled in those fleeting moments of intimacy when her power blazes forth. You are a goddess, he bellows out one night in the moment. Physically dominant as he ploughs deep into her body to find his own release, but emotionally submissive all the same.  I need you, he gasps.  For you, for this, for everything.

 

Rey, I wish I could keep you, he tells her.  Then we would be together forever in the Force.  You and me and the galaxy, Rey.

 

And to be this wanted, this needed, this craved by the infamous First Knight of the First Order fills a need deep within Rey.  For as neglected as her life on Jakku had been physically, the lonely emotional void she has endured has been the far harder cross to bear.  She is the throwaway girl no one wanted, the isolated lowly scavenger no one cared for.  She has been mostly ignored by others for years.  And the occasional male attention she has received has been mostly ridicule and scorn.   Until now.  Now, there is a powerful prince with the magical Force who chooses her.  He risks all for her.  And in the throes of passion, he screams out into the night that she is a goddess.   She--lowly, skinny, uneducated, homely Rey of Jakku--is a goddess. 

 

For years, Rey has fantasized about her family one day appearing to reclaim her.  And as she matured into a young woman, the fantasy has sometimes become a man who would one day appear to claim her as his wife.  Together, they would create the family that Rey has always wanted and they would live happily ever after.   But this is no itinerant Jakku local whose head Rey has turned.  This is a Sith prince, a Commander of the First Order, the famed and feared Kylo Ren.  And he, a man who could have any woman, wants Rey.  And, unlike with his boss the creepy Supreme Leader, Rey wants him back.

 

And, yeah, perhaps technically Rey is Kylo's prisoner.  But this man is defying his Sith Master to be with her.  And he’s planning to help her escape.  So Rey doesn’t lose sleep over all the many complexities to their messy relationship.  Because when the credible threat of death hangs over your head, it tends to simplify your thinking down to what matters most.  And for Rey, all of their supposed differences over politics, the Force, and the war fall away.  She cares for Kylo and he cares for her, and that’s all that matters.  Rey has a connection with this man that she has never known with another.  And she values that above all else.

 

Rey’s life has been very harsh and now her future is especially uncertain.  So now more than ever, this scavenger lives one day at a time.  She knows from long experience to grab happiness when she finds it.  Because happiness doesn't last.   Perhaps this mindset makes Rey more accepting of their situation than Kylo.  For he rails against the unfairness of their fate, bemoaning again and again that they cannot be together.  Kylo Ren is a dreamer raised with a sense of entitlement to many things, including happiness.  And a man who for years has been focused on attaining his glorious future.   So, this might just be the first time in Kylo Ren’s life that he has had to take ‘no’ for an answer.  Rey, on the other hand, has been told ‘no’ her entire life.  Disappointment is nothing new for her.

 

What's going to happen after I get away?   Rey has asked this question several times and Kylo never wants to talk about.  She suspects that’s because the true answer includes Kylo assigning blame to a fall guy and killing innocents for a transgression they did not commit.  Probably followed by an uncomfortable cross examination and some blue lightning from Snoke.  Rey knows Kylo well enough now to know that if he is refusing to answer, it must be because he doesn’t want to lie to her.  Because in everything else, Kylo lays bare the truth. 

 

They are cuddled on the couch one night.  He’s drinking a beer and reading intelligence reports.  She’s propped against him perusing Milo’s latest crop of propaganda when it spurs a question.  “What is he like?” Rey asks.  “Luke Skywalker, I mean.” 

 

Above her, Kylo’s face becomes bitter and hard.  “My uncle is trapped in the past and trapped by lies. Lies about my family and lies about the Force.  He believed them so much he repeated them to me.”  Kylo scowls hard at this memory.  “The man has spent most of his life trying to recreate an idyllic past that never truly existed.  He’s a fool for a dream.”

 

“I meant as a person, not as a Jedi.”  Rey already knows what Kylo thinks of the Jedi.

 

“I’m not sure you can separate the two,” Kylo answers with a heavy sigh.  Bitter resentment overtakes him whenever he speaks of his family, Rey has noticed.  But Kylo dutifully considers a moment.  “He's actually a lot like my mother, just quieter. Same righteousness, same foolish optimism, same condescension.”  Then he grunts.  “Same stubbornness too.”

 

“So your princess mother is his sister?”  Rey is still trying to piece together the Skywalker-Solo family tree.

 

“Yes, she’s his twin.” 

 

“So how did your uncle end up a Jedi if you and your grandfather are Sith?”  This is a question Rey has been pondering for some time.  How exactly does a family end up on opposite sides of a war and opposite sides of the Force?

 

“My mother and my uncle were stolen from my grandfather as babies.”  Kylo says this casually, as if kidnapping occurs in every family.    

 

Rey sits up and turns to face him.  “Stolen?   By who?”

 

“The Jedi.  They stole my grandfather’s twin children, separated them and raised them in hiding.” 

 

“Why?”  Rey is fascinated by this bizarre tale.

 

“Supposedly, it was to protect them.  But really it was for revenge on my grandfather.  He had been raised a Jedi.  But after the Jedi tried to stage a coup to overthrow the Republic, my grandfather sided with the Sith.  He switched sides and his former friends became his enemies.”

 

“Growing up, I thought the Jedi were gone and that Luke Skywalker was a myth,” Rey confesses softly.   

 

Kylo rolls his eyes and his face is an ugly smirk.  “Oh, he's real.  And very much alive.” 

 

“So what happened to your grandmother when they stole her babies?” Rey wants to know.

 

“She died in childbirth.  We think.  It’s all a bit murky.”

 

“No one dies in childbirth anymore.”  That explanation doesn’t pass the smell test for Rey.  It sounds positively medieval. 

 

“Supposedly, she did.  But I think the Jedi killed her.  For revenge.”

 

Rey shakes her head.  She is aghast.  “That's a terrible revenge.” You’re mad at a guy so you steal his kids and murder his wife?   Who does that?  And who was this guy?  “Who was your Sith grandfather?”  Rey wants to know.   

 

Kylo gives her a long, measuring look before he drops a give-away clue.  “My grandfather hunted Jedi for the Emperor when he wasn’t commanding the Imperial Navy.  He was the Sith who destroyed the Jedi Order.” 

 

“Darth Vader??” Rey whispers in disbelief.  She blinks at Kylo.  “Darth Vader is your grandfather?” 

 

“Yes.”  Kylo grins at her reaction and she can tell that she has pleased him. 

 

“So Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father?”  Rey connects the dots to this stunning revelation and turns wide questioning eyes on Kylo.

 

He nods.

 

“Oh.”  Rey is at a loss for words.

 

“We Skywalkers have been fighting over the galaxy for a long time, Rey.   In ways and for reasons very few fully understand.   You should know that the Jedi are not all they pretend to be.  And they can be just as ruthless as the Sith.” 

 

Rey raises an eyebrow at this contention.  “So says the Sith.”  

 

“Who used to be a Jedi,” Kylo reminds her.

 

“Yes . . . just like your grandfather,” she whispers.  She is seeing a cycle at work here.  A Jedi turned Sith and then sought to bring order to the galaxy and found an Empire.  Darth Vader did it once and now Kylo Ren is doing it too.

 

“Snoke saved me from all that, Rey.  He taught me the true ways of the Force.”  Kylo is looking at her with very intense eyes now.   “Beware of Luke Skywalker, Rey.  If ever you meet him, do not trust him.  Do not let him teach you.  Run far, far away from that man.  He will only get you killed.”  Kylo’s hands are gripping her upper arms now.  “Promise me, Rey, that you will not become a pawn of the Jedi.  Whatever happens after you leave me, please don’t fall prey to my uncle.”

 

“I won’t.”  She nods at him.  Satisfied, he drops his hands.    

 

“Come,” he urges as he stands to his feet.  “I have something to show you.”  He walks her over to a door that Rey has always assumed is a closet.  It’s not.  Kylo stands there a moment and Rey realizes that this door is locked with the Force.  Once the door opens, they enter a small darkened and padded room.  In the center is a small pedestal and on it is the sunken, melted mask of Darth Vader.

 

Kylo says nothing.  He just stands there watching her. 

 

‘’Oh,” is her first reaction.  Then, “This is real.  Where did you get this?”

 

“I dug it up on Endor’s moon years ago.  My uncle built Vader’s funeral pyre there.”  Kylo is silent for a long moment as he looks over at the melted and warped iconic helmet.  “It's the only thing I have of him,” he says wistfully.    “The galaxy knew him as a mask.  But there was a man in that mask.”

 

“Just like you.”  Standing beside Kylo, Rey reaches to take his hand in hers.  For Kylo seems so very alone in this moment.  So vulnerable.  Maybe, she thinks, that’s because the person most able to understand Kylo Ren’s life choices is the grandfather he never knew.   The grandfather who his uncle killed long before Kylo was even born.

 

Rey looks at the relic of one of the galaxy’s most feared men.  “Snoke said the Emperor was a Sith.  But he didn't wear a mask.”  And in the holonet pictures of Snoke from long ago, Darth Plagueis had looked like a wealthy business mogul.  There had been no black cape, armor and mask.

 

“Few modern Sith wear masks,” Kylo explains.  “Mostly, they blended into society.  Vader only wore one because he had been burned.  My grandfather was horribly disfigured.”

 

Rey is still holding Kylo’s hand.  She looks to him now.  “Why do you wear a mask?” she asks.

 

For the first time, Kylo cracks a smile.  It releases some of the tension out of the room.  “I was fifteen when I became the Apprentice.  Would you follow a gawky teenager into battle?" 

 

Rey smiles back.  “Good point.  Plus, it is very intimidating.  I never know what you’re thinking when you have it on.”

 

Again, he smiles.  “That's the point.  It keeps people guessing.” 

 

“Why did you take it off for me?” Rey asks, remembering how Kylo had removed it at her prompting on the Starkiller.   He had surprised her.  She had expected an older, ugly man.  Not the young, earnest face that was revealed.  It’s a face she knows so well now, down to the faint remnants of the saber slash she gave him in their duel, now long healed by a stint in a bacta tank at Snoke’s stronghold. 

 

Her question stumps him.  “I don't know.  I don't often do that.”  He considers her a moment, reaching to brush back a lock of hair from her forehead.  “Maybe it was because it had been many years since I had met another person strong with the Force.  You surprised me, Rey.  Most everyone I meet is afraid of me.  And you were afraid that day.  But bold and brave too.” 

 

They are side by side now as Rey turns back now to gaze upon the mask of the revered Imperial Sith.  “Do you really think you can be as powerful as Darth Vader?” she asks.

 

Kylo answers without hesitation.  “I plan to be more powerful than Darth Vader.”

 

“That's a lot of pressure.”

 

“We Sith are competitive like that.”  Kylo remarks dryly.  Then he cocks his head.  “Did you know that Darth Vader was born a slave on the Rim world Tatooine?  It’s a desert world, like Jakku.”

 

“A slave?” Rey echoes.  No, she had not known that.  This is yet another twist on the bizarre Skywalker family tree.  A Jedi, a Sith, a princess and a smuggler.  What’s next, she thinks.  A queen?  A senator?  A Hutt? “Wow.  He was really a slave?”

 

“Yes.  Anakin Skywalker was sold to a Jedi who happened to pass through town and recognized his power in the Force.”  Kylo reaches to cup her cheek in one hand now.  “Rey, I don’t care that you’re from Jakku.  I don’t care that you’re a scavenger.   My grandfather came from the humblest of beginnings and rose to rule the galaxy.”

 

“He had the Force,” Rey whispers.

 

“So do you,” Kylo responds.  “Who you are is not where you are from.  It’s where you are going.”

 

And Rey looks down in confusion at these words.  For though they sound appealing, Rey knows that a lot of her will always be stuck in Jakku.  The part of her who eats bland food and can’t bear to leave the water faucet running because it’s wasteful.  The part of her who feels indulgent about sitting in a chair rather than sitting on the floor.    The part of her who needs more space and alone time than other people.   “I don’t think you can ever really escape the past,” she counters.

 

“I’m trying to,” he confesses.  “My grandfather tried to also.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“It’s no accident that the powerless slave boy with the Force ended up Sith.   That as an adult Darth Vader craved all the power and control that Anakin Skywalker never had as a child.”

 

That makes some sense, Rey has to concede.  “So what past are you trying to escape, Kylo?”

 

He looks her in the eye to complain, “I’m tired of Skywalkers fighting Skywalkers.  It’s torn my family apart.  It’s torn the galaxy apart.  And it’s killed billions, Rey.  I’d like my family to all be on the same side.  On the good side.  As Sith.  I’m going to have to kill my uncle to do it.  And I hope he’s the only one I have to kill.”  She sees Kylo glance back at the mask.  “I’m going to finish what my grandfather started.  I’m going to bring peace, freedom, justice and security to the galaxy.   And this will be the last generation of Skywalkers who kill each other over the lies of the Jedi.  The cycle ends with me, Rey.  I am the last Skywalker who will live torn apart like this.”  Kylo looks down now, almost sheepish at his lofty speech.  “Maybe it sounds odd to fight a war to end conflict.  But that is my goal.  And I have wanted this for a long time.”

 

Rey nods.  Then reveals her own desire.  “For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to belong to someone.  To be part of a family.  It doesn’t even have to be a real family.  It could just mean being part of a team, part of a group.  But even that never works for me.  Most people fear me in the medibay.  And a lot of people hate me for shooting Hux.”  Rey frowns.  She can’t help but feel dejected.  “I guess I’m never going to fit in.  There’s just something about me that just doesn’t belong.”

 

Kylo squeezes her hand.  “You belong to me, Rey.”  Then after a moment, he adds the sad qualifier, “For now, at least.”


	18. Chapter 18

The first time Rey notices Kylo looking at her funny, she doesn’t think anything of it.  She just smiles to reassure him.  He smiles back and the moment is gone.  It’s a fleeting thing and whatever.   Kylo has a lot on his mind lately and she knows he’s dreading her escape.  They have agreed to stop talking about it because it puts them both in a sour mood.   Neither of them wants to add to the anxiety of the inevitable. 

 

Then Rey catches Kylo giving her that strange look again later that evening. 

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“That’s not nothing.  What’s wrong, Kylo?”

 

“I just thought that I sensed something.  In the Force.  But it’s nothing.  I was wrong.”

 

“Okay.”

 

When it happens a third time, it’s the next morning and they are eating breakfast together.  

 

“Kylo, what’s going on?”

 

“I’m not sure.”  He’s hedging and of course she senses his evasion in the Force.  Instantly, it makes her nervous. 

 

“What’s the matter?” she presses. 

 

He doesn’t answer, he just summons the Force.  Rey feels the swirl of power around her as he stares hard at her—no, through her—and concentrates.

 

“Oh, no.”  And those are not the words Rey wants to hear from him.

 

She puts down her caf.  “What?  What’s going on??”   

 

“No,” he repeats, raising his eyes to hers.   The man looks horrified.   “No, no, no!”  He slams the table with his clenched fist.

 

“WHAT?”  Rey is exasperated and suddenly she has a bad feeling about this.

 

“Rey, I think you’re pregnant.”

 

She blinks at him, not quite registering his words.

 

He repeats them.  “Rey, you’re pregnant.”

 

“Pregnant?” she whispers in utter shock.  “Are you sure?  How do you know?”

 

“In the Force.  I can sense the baby in your Force imprint.”  Kylo’s face is white as he stares back at her with equal dismay.  “I thought I sensed something last night but then it was gone.  But it’s definitely here now.”

 

“I don’t sense anything!” Rey wails.  “Are you sure?”

 

Kylo nods and looks very serious.  “Concentrate, Rey.  It’s there.”

 

And she tries to focus, but she can’t.  She is far too rattled.  “Pregnant,” Rey whispers aloud, trying to wrap her mind around this unexpected, unwelcome news.  And now objections start coming out of her mouth fast.  “I don't want to be a mother.  I'm too young for this.  And you’re--  We’re—“  Her voice trails off as a sense of panic engulfs her.  Because she and Kylo aren’t an ordinary couple facing an unplanned pregnancy.   This is way more complicated than that.

 

“Rey—“

 

“I don’t want this baby!”  Rey decides then and there.  She doesn’t want this problem and since she can make it go away, she will.  “I won’t keep it!”

 

Kylo blinks at this.  And then, suddenly, he is as stressed and angry as she is.  “Rey, you have to keep this baby!  This baby is the whole point of us.  This must be why the Force brought us together.”

 

What?”  “No, it's not!”  Rey is on her feet and ready for a fight now.  “This was about you and me.  Not the Force!  And this is my body, Kylo. It's my decision.”

 

“Calm down, Rey.”  His tone is patronizing and that irritates Rey further.  “Calm down.”

 

“I will not calm down!  There is nothing here to be calm about!” she snarls.  “Oh, Gods,” Rey exclaims, holding her face in her hands.  “This is a disaster!”

 

“No, this is the Force,” Kylo says with condescending sanctimony and it pisses Rey off.

 

“This is not the Force!  This is us fucking every day, twice a day!   Oh, what have we done?”  Rey is gulping down air now as her mind starts racing.  “I'll go to the medibay and maybe they can—“

 

“NO!”  Kylo overrides her with a roar that shuts her up immediately.  “Rey, no one can know about this.  No one, do you hear me?  No one!”

 

He’s right.  What was she thinking?  No one in the First Order can know about this or it will increase the chances that Snoke will find out.  Rey nods to Kylo.  “Yeah, you’re right.  So what do we do?”  She bites her lip to keep back the flood of tears that is threatening.  Rey’s got her arms up, hugging her shoulders.

 

Kylo is at her side now, reaching for her.  Holding her close as he urges, “Keep this baby, Rey.  You have to keep this baby.  It's all that will remain of us.  Please, do this for me.”

 

And his words bring home to Rey the daunting reality of the situation.  That if all goes well, Rey will escape to be secretly pregnant with Kylo Ren’s baby and on the run from Snoke.  On her own and alone with the ultimate forever responsibility that is being a parent and raising a child.  This is not what Rey signed up for.  She had been willing to take her chances in this relationship, knowing what she was risking for herself.  But now there is a baby involved and that raises the risks and the stakes immeasurably.  If she keeps this kid, that is.  Rey mumbles out, “I don’t want to be alone raising your kid.” 

 

“You always wanted a family,” he reasons softly.  And that’s the wrong thing to say right now.

 

She pulls back from his arms.  “Yes, a family!  A mom and a dad together.  Married.   Happy.”  Like on the holonet, she thinks.  Where expectant moms have friends who throw them a baby shower and they have cute baby bumps.  And they have swollen ankles and goofy pregnancy cravings to laugh and complain about to their nervous husbands.  Not where you are hiding out from the First Order with an out-of-wedlock kid whose father is a Sith lord who wants to rule the galaxy.

 

“My mom raised me on her own.”

 

And that too is the wrong thing to say.  Because Rey knows all about how Kylo feels about his princess mother.    “Oh my gods, I can’t believe this!  And this is my fault because I told you . . .”

 

“It's both our fault,” Kylo concedes with a sigh as he runs a hand through his hair.  He sighs and his voice sounds ragged.  “This changes everything, Rey.”

 

“Yes.”  She nods unhappily.  “Yes, it does.”

 

They stand there in tense silence for a long moment together. 

 

Then, Kylo grabs her with one hand and jams his mask on with the other.  “Come,” he orders in the tone of command that he uses with his troops.  And, wait—what?  They’re not done yet.  There is so much to talk about now.  And Rey wants to cry.  She wants to curl up in bed and cry for an hour by herself. 

 

But Kylo apparently has other plans.  He is focused and on alert.  “Go get your cloak.  It will be cold near the airlock.  You need to take care of yourself now.”  Huh?  “Go!” he nearly shouts at her.  His emotions are running high too.  Rey frowns at him, but complies.  She’s wearing the dark pink dress she arrived at the _Finalizer_ wearing.  She goes to Kylo’s closet to pull out the matching cape and puts it on before they depart.

 

Kylo marches her through the ship to the hangar bay.  He wants her to see in person her escape route.  Where the shuttles are positioned, where the troopers stand, where today’s cargo is stacked that might provide cover.  Standing there side by side on the perimeter looking out at the gigantic hangar bay, Kylo tells her quietly what she has already gleaned, “This is happening tonight, Rey.  We can’t wait any longer.  It’s too risky.  You have to get out of here.  So take a good, long look.”

 

But Rey can’t focus on what they are there to see.  She is still reeling from his revelation about a pregnancy, and questioning it too.  Quietly babbling out her thoughts at his side.  “How is this possible?  Are you sure?  Because I don’t feel any different at all, Kylo.  Shouldn’t I feel different?”  She stops to take a breath.  Her heart is racing and she’s panting slightly from the adrenaline surge that has come with her sustained and rising panic.  For the more she contemplates this news, the more terrifying it becomes.  “I didn’t think this was possible.”

 

“Anything is possible in the Force,” Kylo quotes his Sith Master.  And now he too starts thinking out loud.  He’s focused on the practicalities.  “I’ll get you more credits, Rey.  I’ll find a way to set up an account for you to keep the credit cards loaded.  I will take care of the money, don’t worry.  You and the baby won’t want for anything.”

 

“I can’t believe this,” Rey whispers aloud.   And this is way too personal and intimate of a conversation to be having in public looking out at First Order troopers.  Rey is struggling to keep her composure now.  Because tonight she is leaving Kylo for a scary future she doesn’t want.  “I can’t . . .  I can’t believe this has happened.”  And I can’t believe it’s over, she thinks to herself.  As of tonight, she and Kylo are over.  Forever.

 

At her side, Kylo too is digesting the meaning of it all as their new reality sinks in. “This is the Force at work.  This is why it brought us together.  For this child, Rey.  For this destiny.  This is a new Skywalker.”  Kylo’s voice sounds very odd to her ears.  Strangely humbled and deeply concerned.  Deeply, deeply concerned.

 

Kylo waves over a squad of troopers to accompany them to make things look more normal and perforce their personal conversation stops.  She, Kylo and the troopers start walking the perimeter of the hangar bay now.  Ostensibly it’s a tour but in reality it is a pretext to give her more familiarity with where she is headed tonight.  But still, Rey struggles to focus.

 

“Is it always this busy?” Rey asks the trooper squad leader, looking for something to say to get him talking.  At her side, Kylo is pretending to be bored.

 

“No, ma’am.  Not unless we are preparing for combat operations.  We are backed up this morning.  A high security code clearance was transmitted just a few minutes ago.  Only pre-cleared ships can launch now.  Everyone else is grounded until our visitor arrives.  ETA is about fifteen minutes.  After that, things should clear out quickly.  You’d be surprised how fast we can move ships in and out of here.”

 

The trooper’s news gets Kylo’s attention.  “What code clearance?” he demands.

 

Their group rounds the corner of a large personnel transport that is loading passengers and now from their vantage point, they can see the entire hangar bay.  In its midst there is a growing jumble of officers and troopers milling about to form a ceremonial honor guard.  Seeing them, suddenly Rey is alarmed.  “Kylo,” she begins softly.

 

“What code clearance?” Kylo demands again of the trooper.

 

“The highest level, Sir.”  And then the trooper spouts out a list of numbers. 

 

Rey isn’t listening.  Her attention is elsewhere.  Because across the way, she sees a familiar tall redhead swaggering towards the group of officers and troops.  “Hux is here,” Rey says softly.  General Hux is down from the bridge to receive whoever this honored guest is and now Rey has a very bad feeling about this. 

 

“Go join the ceremony,” Kylo orders the trooper squad gruffly.  “Now!  Show respect,” he growls.  The squad of troopers trip over their feet to comply.  And now she and Kylo are alone again.

 

“What’s going on?” Rey turns to face Kylo.  “Who is arriving?”

 

“Snoke,” Kylo tells her.  And now Rey’s morning just got that much worse.

 

“Snoke,” she echoes with a hoarse whisper.  And, of course, it’s Snoke.  Because with Kylo Ren and General Hux already onboard the _Finalizer_ , there’s only one man who outranks them to merit this sort of pomp and circumstance. 

 

“Rey, this is it,” Kylo tells her in a low, intense voice that somehow conveys all of the deadly seriousness of their situation.  “You’ve got to get off the ship now.  Because if he arrives and you’re here, he will sense the baby immediately.” 

 

Rey nods.  She’s staring up at Kylo’s black and silver helmet, wishing that she could see his face instead.  Just once last time.  But this is all happening so fast.   Too fast.   And suddenly, Rey knows that there won’t be time to collect credit cards of money and say their proper lovers’ goodbyes.  This is it.  It all ends right here, right now.

 

Rey feels Kylo concentrate a long moment in the Force.  Wondering what he's doing, Rey is about to ask when Kylo grabs her upper arm roughly and with a hard jerk he propels her forward towards the large personnel transport they have just passed. 

 

"Follow my lead," he leans in closely to instruct her.  "And know that whatever happens in these next few minutes, it is killing me to do this, Rey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you knew that this would happen, right? Because sex with a Skywalker always means a Force baby eventually. As I think Fulcrum Rey says at one point (I paraphrase from memory): Never trust a Sith, never fuck a Sith, never love a Sith. And run far, far away from any man named Skywalker.
> 
> So sort of tipsy from Xmas cheer as I proofread this tonight, so sorry for the typos etc. But yeah, drunk-ish on Manhattans.


	19. Chapter 19

Kylo Ren is Han Solo's son so he's at his best when he is improvising his way out of a jam.  And this might just be the worst jam ever.  But never tell him the odds, because Kylo Ren is ready to take an incredible risk. 

 

Because right now, it’s the best chance Rey has.   And, well, him too for that matter. 

 

“We have to get you on a ship that’s already cleared to leave,” Kylo mutters as he propels Rey forward towards the nearby transport that is prepping for takeoff.  Already, its engines are warmed and idling.  He leans in.  “I’ve got an idea.  Play along.”

 

Waiting at the bottom of the transport ramp are two troopers standing guard.  Kylo reaches out with the Force and a pair of wrist binders fly from the waist of a trooper and into his outstretched hand.  In one fluid motion, Kylo intercepts both her wrists and slaps on the cuffs.  Dragging Rey forward fast, together they climb the ramp. 

 

"Sir."  An officer inside at the top snaps to attention.  His eyes rake over Rey with open curiosity.  With her pink dress, lipstick and hair piled high, Rey doesn't look like the usual prisoner.   Noting the man’s reaction, Kylo knows he’ll have to come up with an explanation for her appearance.   Plus, Rey is pretty well known on the _Finalizer_ by now.   Someone onboard is going to realize that she didn’t just come from a cellblock. 

 

"Is this the transport for the prisoner exchange with the Resistance?” Kylo barks.  If so, this ship is the latest in a series of prisoner exchanges that are an intelligence strategy in disguise.  Designed to provide a covert opportunity to trace communications and Resistance personnel back to their hidden bases.  The exchanges are carefully negotiated and choreographed missions.  And so they are high priority, high security operations.  Definitely pre-cleared for departure and heavily defended by an escort of TIEs.  Just what he needs right now. 

 

“Yes, Sir,” the lieutenant answers. 

 

And his response fills Kylo with relief.  He will use the First Order to sneak Rey off the ship.   “Where are the rest?” Kylo demands.  “Show me.”

 

The lieutenant leads him deeper into the ship.  Into a room with ten assembled Resistance prisoners under the watchful gaze of a squad of troopers.   The prisoners are a motley lot of men and women all shackled together.   Among them Kylo recognizes a pilot he once interrogated.  And now, he has another idea.

 

Kylo turns to the lieutenant and points to Rey.  "This one is a substitute for the exchange.  All the other terms stay as is.  We had to sweeten the deal with a higher value captive.  Now get this transport ready for immediate takeoff.  This deal is falling apart fast, Lieutenant.  You need to get this done before they reconsider again."

 

"Yes, sir."  The officer nods and heads for the cockpit, leaving just the troopers and the prisoners. 

 

Kylo turns to the lead trooper and points to the pilot. "Pull that one from the exchange.  He stays behind.”

 

Kylo glances over at Rey’s white poker face.  He should leave her now.  He should hand her over to the troopers and just walk away.  But he can’t.  Not just yet.  Not without saying some short goodbye. 

 

So he turns again to the lead trooper.  “I’ll be back with this one in a moment.  We need to transmit proof of life on her to seal the deal before you depart.  Be ready to leave as soon as I get back."

 

As the troopers busy themselves untethering the pilot, Kylo propels Rey deeper into the ship and around a corner.  It's not exactly private, but it's the best he can do under the circumstances.  And that’s just one more reason he needs to make this quick.  Very quick.  Time is running out.

 

Kylo yanks off his helmet.  Just one more time, he wants to look on Rey with his own eyes.  Her cuffed hands are laced in his gloved hands as he stares down into her frightened face.  “There's no time.  Listen to me.  You’re going to be exchanged as a prisoner along with the others.   I'm doing this to keep you safe.”   

 

“You’re sending me to the Resistance?”  Rey blinks at this brash development. 

 

“The Resistance is the safest place for you now.  Hide out with them as long as you can.   Tell them whatever lies they need to hear.  In time, I will come for you.   Rey, I will find you and I will take care of you.  I will figure out a solution for you and the baby but I need more time.  Be patient and wait for me there.”

 

Rey is confused.  “But I thought we agreed never to see each other again—“

 

“That was before the baby.  This baby changes everything.” 

 

From his first suspicion yesterday that Rey might be pregnant, Kylo had known this to be true.  He had lain awake last night playing through the possibilities in his mind.   There are no good options for the future, he knows.  But Kylo also knows that he’ll be damned if he will be Han Solo and just walk away voluntarily.   Children need fathers.  He himself had needed a father.  And right here, right now, Kylo makes a decision.  If he can, he will find a way to be a father to this child.  Far too many Skywalkers already have grown up without their real father.  In this, as in so many other things, Kylo Ren wants to break the cycle of conflict and pain that has plagued his family.  So he vows to Rey, “I will come for you and we will find a way to be together.  I promise.”

 

He keeps going.  The words pouring out in a rush as the clock ticks.  “If you run into General Organa or Luke Skywalker, do not trust them.   And do not lie to them.  They will sense the lie in the Force.  Rey,” he’s gripping her upper arms now.  Willing her to understand how very important this is.  “Whatever happens, do not tell my uncle or Leia Organa whose child this is.  If they know, they will take the child from you.  And they will hold you hostage as well.  They will use you and the child to get to me.”

 

“Kylo—“

 

“Do not tell anyone that you have the Force.   Do not heal anyone.  Be anonymous or our spies might find you.  And if they find you, it’s like Snoke finding you.  Keep as low a profile as possible, Rey.”

 

“But--”

 

“If you can't stay with the Resistance, then whatever you do, don't go to Jakku.  That's the first place Snoke will look.  Go to Coruscant.  Hide and I will find you in the Force there.” 

 

Rey is trembling.  Her expression looks as desperate and sad as Kylo himself feels inside.  For today is playing out like a never-ending nightmare.  Things keep getting worse.

 

“Rey, stay alive and I will find you,” he promises again.  “I will come for you.”

 

But there is clear doubt written on her face now.  From the disbelief he sees in her eyes and senses through the Force, he knows that Rey has no faith in his words.  It’s the legacy of her past pain that keeps his Rey from fully trusting him or anyone else. 

 

“No one ever comes for me . . . My family never came for me . . . You won’t either.  Why are we even pretending, Kylo?” Rey wails as tears start leaking out and keep coming.  “This will never work!  We both know that.”

 

And now for the hundredth time, Kylo Ren wishes he knew who abandoned this girl.  For if ever he wanted to kill someone, it is Rey’s treacherous family.   Kylo knows from experience that you don’t get to choose your family.   You get them and their embarrassing behavior, ignorant political views, ugly warts and all.  And in this regard, he and Rey have been more unlucky than most.  Her family left her.  He had to leave his family.  And so both he and Rey had lived emotionally alone until they found one another with the help of the Force. 

 

He squeezes her hand now to encourage her.  Because he means this, he really means this.  “Rey, I am your family now.  You, me and the baby.  Trust me.”

 

But she can’t.  He sees it in her eyes.  Too many years of disappointment have robbed Rey of the confidence to trust.   And moved by this realization and by the urgency of the moment, Kylo confesses all.  Because she needs to hear this to believe him.  “Rey, I love you.  I have never loved any woman, but I love you.   I will not let you down the way others have.”

 

“I—I—“  Rey is at a loss for words.  And he’s not really expecting her to reciprocate his feelings, because the girl who can’t fully trust will never really be able to love.  But she does care for him in her own way.  This he knows. 

 

“Oh, Kylo,” she finally manages.  “I'm so scared.”

 

Me too, Rey.  Me too, he thinks. 

 

“Rey, if there were time, I would marry you. I would slash your hand in the moonlight and make you mine forever in the Force.  And then there would be nothing Snoke or anyone else could do to separate us.”  

 

“W-What??” 

 

She’s not following because, of course, Rey doesn’t understand the marriage tradition of the Sith.  They’ve never talked about it.  But Kylo grabs her hand anyway now.  Because what the Hell.   They might never get another chance to do this.  And even if he, like his grandfather, never meets his unborn child for years to come, Kylo wants to make that baby a Skywalker in name, as well as in blood and in the Force.   And if it turns out he can’t give Rey the comfort and security he would like, then at least he can give this abandoned girl the surname she lacks.   So that the girl who has never belonged, will belong to him.  He’s a possessive Sith and he will claim this woman and her child for his own.  For forever. 

 

“Forget it.  The ritual doesn't matter, the legal stuff doesn't matter, all that matters is how we feel.  Rey, I love you.  Will you marry me?”

 

“Now?”  She’s frowning up at him, clearly shocked and confused.  And still beautiful in the moment.  Oh, so beautiful.

 

“Yes.  Here.  Now.”  He nods.  “Will you marry me?”

 

“Uh . . . “  Rey thinks for one long agonizing moment.  Then: “Yes.”  A second later, she repeats herself with more conviction, nodding “Yes.”

 

“Then that's good enough,” Kylo nods back.  “You are mine, Rey.  You are my wife and I am your Sith.  Forever.  Now quick kiss me.”

 

And that short kiss holds all of the desperation and despair of the moment.   For a few seconds, Kylo gives into it.  Then wrenches himself away.  There is no time for this.

 

His voice is a rasp of hoarse emotion now.  Her tears are threatening to provoke his.  That’s how overwhelmed and helpless he feels.  “Take care of yourself and the baby.  And no matter what happens, no matter what you hear about me from the Resistance, trust in me.  I love you and I will come for you both.”

 

And then Rey surprises him with a suggestion.  “Kylo, come with me.  Now.  Let’s run away to the Resistance together.”

 

Runaway to the Resistance?  Kylo stares at her.  For this is a solution that had never even occurred to him. 

 

And for a single, heart stopping moment, he considers it. What it would be like to walk away from the First Order and to flee from Snoke.  To throw himself on the mercy of an enemy he has deliberately slaughtered and return to a family he has torn asunder.  Kylo knows how it would go. There would be a series of ugly scenes followed by a trial and then an execution.  That's how the New Republic had righteously dealt with the most senior Imperial officers it had accused of war crimes long ago.  It would be the same with him, Kylo knows.  Rules and precedents must be observed, especially where a notorious Sith is concerned.   And most especially in a case in which the lead Resistance general has a clear conflict of interest in the outcome. 

 

Plus, Kylo Ren doesn't regret what he has done. He's no Jedi, he is Sith and he does not wish to return to the Light.  So his unrepentant posture would surely not win him any reprieve. 

 

The issue isn't that Kylo wants to abandon his principles, so much as he wants to have it all. To be Sith, to rule the galaxy, and to do it all with Snoke's intended bride as his own.  And, after this morning's revelation, to do it with a son or daughter at his side.  Kylo wants more than what Snoke will permit, he wants it all.  He's a Sith, after all.  Through and through.  And no one is in a better position to understand and forgive that than Snoke.  Not that he's going to.  But oddly enough, this time around Snoke is the less risky choice. 

 

And that's the thing.  If you are a Force-user you have to make a choice. You are Dark or Light. Pick the Jedi or join Team Sith.   Those are your options. 

 

His mother understands this.  As a child, he remembers her telling him on more than one occasion that when he meets another Force-user he should first ask what side they are on.  Because except for that weird bit with Maul 'formerly Darth' rampaging around as a lone wolf during the Empire years, there are two sides.  And only two sides. 

 

His uncle, naturally, wants to make things more complicated.  And that's why the Last Jedi is hiding out on an island in the middle of nowhere being completely superfluous.  Refusing to fight for either side and childishly frustrated that there is no middle ground.  Tough shit, Kylo thinks.  Sometimes there are two unsatisfactory options and still you have to choose.  But not the great Luke Skywalker.  His uncle had looked at his options and just walked away.  Refusing to participate except on his own terms. 

 

Your uncle has far more Dark tendencies than he cares to admit, Snoke had observed long ago to his teen Apprentice.  The Last Jedi fights against his nature and deludes himself. It is a futile move, Snoke had taught.  Be who you are, embrace yourself with all your strengths and limitations.  Any other path leads to unhappiness and unfulfillment.  You can never have a life of significance if you are not your authentic self. 

 

And looking down into Rey's tearful face, Kylo Ren knows unmistakably that his authentic self is Sith. 

 

"I can't come with you.  That won't solve anything."

 

Rey nods and doesn’t seem surprised.  Or particularly disappointed.  And that reminds him that there’s something he hasn’t yet told her.  Something she needs to know.  “Rey, the Resistance general Leia Organa . . . “  He falters.

 

“Yes?” she prompts.  She’s nervous about the time too, he knows.

 

Kylo takes a deep breath and just comes out with it.  “General Leia Organa is my mother.”

 

“Your mother??”

 

They don’t have time for this discussion.  Kylo just nods as he jams back on his helmet and jerks Rey back down the hall.  He begins stammering out an apology along the way.  “Rey, I have to make this look good in front of the other prisoners.  To make it believable.  I'm sorry.  I wish I didn't have to do this.”

 

“Your mother??”  Rey is still processing his revelation and Kylo doesn’t answer because he can’t risk being overheard.  He propels Rey around the corner and roughly thrusts her back at the group of nervous prisoners.

 

"Stupid bitch!" Kylo complains angrily as she staggers slightly.  "Stand still!"  Then with a sweeping backhand his gloved hand catches Rey clear across the jaw and down she goes.   He stands there a moment, staring down at her surprised and hurt expression as she sprawls at his feet. 

 

Damn, he wishes there was another way to do this.  Everything about this rescue attempt feels like a betrayal right now.   He’s sending Rey alone and pregnant to the mercy of his worst enemies.  And beating her up to convince the onlooking Resistance prisoners that she is indeed one of them.  Because when Rey arrives unexpected and unannounced at the prisoner exchange, people are going to start asking hard questions. 

 

Kylo turns to the nearest trooper.  "Tether her with the rest.  And tell the pilot to take off immediately.  I want Hux’s fancy Resistance whore off my ship NOW!"   Kylo motions to the trooper guarding the unlucky Resistance pilot prisoner to follow him.  Then he turns on heel and stalks down the transport ramp.  Kylo doesn't look back. 

 

He marches the pilot in shackles to the closest rack of TIEs.   At worst, this guy's a diversion.  At best, he's the perfect solution to hiding Rey forever.  With a moment of concentration in the Force, their accompanying trooper drops to his knees gasping.  Force asphyxiation was his grandfather's favorite trick and Kylo makes good use of it on this unlucky guard.  The Resistance pilot looks on in silent horror at first.  Then confusion clouds his face as the shackles binding his hands fall open to the floor with a casual flick of Kylo Ren's wrist.

 

"If you want to live, get in that TIE," Kylo orders as he gestures to the empty ship. The prisoner pilot doesn't have to be told twice.  He scrambles in.  Kylo gives him the code to get past the airlock and tells him to wait five full minutes before he launches.  The personnel transport for the prisoner exchange must get away first or you're a dead man, Kylo warns him.  Jump the gun and I'll tell the bridge to shoot you down.  Understand?   The baffled Resistance pilot nods mutely.  Why are you doing this, the pilot asks.  Not for you, Kylo snaps back.    Then he drops Rey’s telltale pink cape by the rack of TIEs and heads for the bridge.

 

Kylo moves as fast he can without breaking into an actual run.  Now that he has committed to a plan for Rey’s escape, his mind is churning.  Why is Snoke here?  This is unprecedented.  The Muun rarely leaves his command center and usually it's just to go to the Sith temple on Naboo.   Consequently, very few in the First Order have actually seen their Leader.  Snoke is not a man who marches down a shuttle ramp before troops assembled in the hangar bay.   Perhaps it’s a habit long ingrained from his years as a Sith living under the reign of the Jedi, but Darth Plagueis the Wise does not call unnecessary attention to himself.  He is cautious by nature and the Sith Master has long moved past the need to impress anyone.

 

Has his Master discovered what was going on?  Did the old Muun somehow sense the child in the Force?  Or was his Master tipped off by someone?  If Hux knew, for certain he would betray them, Kylo knows.  There are many permutations to explain what has occurred today, and no obvious answer.  So Kylo is going to play dumb for as long as he can and hope for the best.

 

Kylo enters the bridge in time to hear Hux's second in command learn the news of a runaway TIE that is currently blasting its way out of the hangar bay.   Good, Kylo thinks.  The Resistance pilot didn't jump the gun. “Destroy it!” the First Officer orders.  Kylo waits a split second until after the trigger happy gunner takes his cannon shot to countermand Hux's man.  “Disable!  Do not destroy!” the First Knight hisses.  But of course, the TIE is hit neatly.  Completely vaporized.  “I said DO NOT DESTROY!” Kylo roars.

 

As luck would have it, the personnel transport heading for the prisoner exchange jumps to lightspeed almost simultaneous with the destruction of the TIE. So Rey's fading Light in the Force winks out very close to the timing of the explosion.  Kylo couldn't have timed it better if it had been planned.  Today the Force is with him in this, at least.

 

And now, he's hoping that this setup is convincing. Because this needs to look good, very good, to fool old Darth Plagueis.   And the charade is not over yet.  For when you tell a lie this big, you have to fully commit to it.

 

Kylo orders a playback of the shot to show the TIE hit squarely in the cockpit, instantly vaporizing the ship and its occupant.  Watching the video loop once, twice and a third time, Kylo summons his rage and lights his sword.  That wasn't Rey in the TIE but it might have been.  And right now, Kylo Ren has to pretend it was. 

 

Already, the stress of the carefully crafted escape plan gone awry has Kylo's emotions running high.   Here is the strain of the loss of the love he never expected to find and the child he never planned to create.  Here is the worry that Rey won't be accepted by the Resistance or worse still will be pounced upon by his mother and his uncle.  Here is the uncomfortable knowledge that he has sent Rey away today without a credit to her name and just the clothes on her back, privy to all of his secrets but burdened by the sole responsibility for his child.   He has dreaded this parting for the entire three stolen months they had together.  And now that the day of reckoning has come, it is so much worse than he had ever imagined.  So with his soul raw, his Dark power blazes and Kylo Ren needs to kill.  Just the throbbing, sparking sound of his saber has Kylo lusting for death. 

 

And he will need to summon all his Dark power to his command.  For if his Master doesn't buy this ploy, then Kylo knows he is a dead man.  And while he might not be able to kill the immortal Sith Darth Plagueis, Kylo is not planning to go down without a fight. 

 

Kylo neatly takes off the head of the unlucky gunnery officer with one spinning swing just as a towering figure shrouded in black lumbers onto the bridge.   Kylo has long suspected that his Sith Master can move fast when he needs to and now that hunch is confirmed.   The Supreme Leader of the First Order stalks in but incredibly no one notices. The entire bridge is staring fearfully at Kylo standing over their decapitated colleague.   Only Hux's second in command is brave enough approach.  Kylo whirls on him.

 

"You fool!   Do you know who you just killed?"

 

"That was an unauthorized departure . . ." the man stutters out.  He is confused about what's going on. Someone stole a TIE--probably an escaping prisoner--and he ordered it shot down.  What's the problem?

 

"I said disable, not destroy!" Kylo hisses.  “My order was clear!”

 

And now his Master speaks and this draws everyone's curious eye.  The Supreme Leader looks every inch a Sith in this moment. Seven feet tall and garbed head to toe in flowing black.  His hood pulled low like the old Emperor, the thick fabric covering much of his ruined face and shadowing the rest.   The Muun is holding the pink cloak that is unmistakably Rey's in one hand.  He throws it to the floor in disgust.  "She is dead," his Master announces with foreboding gravitas.   

 

"All that power is wasted!" Kylo seethes dramatically for his audience.  

 

"Who is dead?"  Hux's man is still lost in this exchange.  He glances warily at the Supreme Leader who he clearly does not recognize or he would never hazard that tone of voice.   This slight plays into Kylo's hand and only serves to reinforce the impression of how clueless this man is.  Hopefully, he’s convincingly clueless enough to accidentally have killed the Leader’s special guest, Kylo thinks.  Good thing that Hux has long had a bad habit of surrounding himself with subpar cronies. 

 

"Thanks to you Lady Rey is dead," Kylo snaps at him impatiently.   "I am surrounded by incompetent fools!"  Kylo's voice is absolute scorn.   "She escaped from the hangar bay with hundreds watching while our Leader himself landed!  Find me the security cameras.  I want to know if she had help."

 

Someone is already on this task it seems, for a voice from the bridge pit calls out. "The cameras have malfunctioned, Sir."

 

"All of them?" Kylo demands incredulously, knowing full well that he had scrambled them with the Force himself before stashing Rey on the personnel transport. 

 

"So it seems, Sir."

 

"That's no coincidence," Kylo gripes. 

 

Hux's man is skeptical.  Luckily, it comes off as defensive and guilty.  "Ren, how do we know that she was even on that TIE?” the First Officer complains.  “Perhaps she is still onboard.  We should start a search."

 

"She is not onboard," Kylo informs him curtly, not bothering to explain that he knows this through the Force. "You vaporized her in violation of my direct order."  Kylo advances on the First Officer now and waves a finger under his nose.  "You will account for this.   Go.   Assemble her entire security team and every guard who was on duty in the hangar bay.  All will pay for this loss.  You have no idea what you have cost us today."

 

"The future is what he has cost us," the elder Sith intones with quiet menace as the First Officer departs.  Snoke's gnarled and spindly Muun hands are sparking with blue lightning, Kylo sees.  Clear evidence of the contained rage that his Sith Master intends to unleash.  But first, Darth Plagueis, a wonder of compartmentalization, begins with his questions for the Apprentice.  

 

"Why did she run?"

 

"I don't know, Master.  She has tried this twice before," Kylo reminds him.  "She must have mind tricked her troopers. That's how she broke out of the Starkiller."

 

"Was she unhappy?"

 

Kylo gives a non-answer.  "She keeps--kept--to herself.  We should ask Smath.  He sees her the most.   Someone get Smath up here for a report."  And then Kylo decides to cast aspersions on his nemesis while he’s at it, adding, "And someone go find Hux.  Maybe he was harassing her again.  Hux provoked her last attempt when he tried to arrest her."

 

"Apprentice, I am most displeased." 

 

Kylo nods.  He’s every inch the respectful Apprentice, dutifully outraged on his Master’s behalf.  "I will punish those responsible, my Master.   Her loss will be avenged."

 

But the old Muun wants to do this personally, it seems.  He turns to depart the bridge and beckons Kylo forward with him.  "Allow me to assist, Apprentice.   For no one harms what is mine and lives."  And together as the two Sith stalk forward to what will very soon become a mass execution, old Darth Plagueis confides in Kylo, “There has been a great disturbance in the Force.  Have you felt it?”

 


	20. Chapter 20

The prisoner exchange takes place on a neutral world in an open field.  The Resistance stands on one side and the First Order stands on the other.  Guns are trained, aimed and ready from both sides as the prisoners march across simultaneously.  Then Rey and the rest of the group are ushered onboard a ship. 

There are high fives and backslapping and enthusiastic handshakes and hugs for everyone but her.  No one knows what to make of Rey.  She was not expected.  The pilot had been expected.  And that makes the Resistance commanding officer very suspicious of the girl in the expensive pink dress who wears makeup and speaks with the crisp tones of a Coruscant aristrocrat. 

Seeing all this happiness and relief around her makes Rey feel even worse.  For there will be no happy homecoming for her.  She is a stranger to these people, even if she once was an ally.  And she might be an enemy to them now, if the truth were known. 

Honestly, Rey isn’t quite sure where she stands on this war.

Even though she has known for months now that she and Kylo would have to part, today's events have happened so fast that her head is still spinning.  First the shocking news of her pregnancy--Rey is still hoping that Kylo is wrong--then Kylo stashing her on the prisoner transport with a kiss and a hard smack across the mouth.  And so here she is, alone again.  Free maybe.  But possibly pregnant too.

Altogether, it’s overwhelming.  Rey is feeling dazed even though she knows she has to keep her wits about her.  She has to convince these people that she is one of them and should stay with their cause.  But somehow, she can’t keep back the tears that silently fall.  And that just raises the skepticism of those around her.  For a freed prisoner ought to be happy, right?  Rey watches as one by one, the Resistance commander pulls the other prisoners aside to talk to them privately.  From the glances and gestures her way, Rey knows that they are talking about her. 

Rey just turns away and turns inward, lost in her own thoughts.

Kylo Ren loves her.  She knew that of course.  Somehow she's known that for a while.  Because when someone loves you, they show it in a hundred subtle ways even if they don't say those magic three words aloud.  But Kylo had actually said them.  And he had meant them.  Their time alone together may have been only a few short months, but they were as intense and focused as the Sith himself.  The obsessive, driven, brilliant Sith Apprentice of the First Order who loves her, lowly Rey of Jakku.  He loves her, she kind-of-sort-of-maybe loves him back, and perhaps there is even a baby on the way.  This might have been the family she has always wanted.  But that is impossible, she knows. 

Will Kylo ever come back for her?   Rey is afraid to hope for that.  She’s been disappointed before.  She won’t hate him if he doesn’t return.  Rey knows how much risk she poses for him.    And neither of them had made any promises about tomorrow until they were standing in that alcove in the transport.  They had both lost their head and gotten carried away in the moment with talk of love and marriage and a baby.  Each willfully forgetting the agreement their more prudent selves had made that a clean break is for the best.

The ship she’s on lands at a Resistance base and there is a jubilant crowd assembled.  This isn't the First Order with its perfectly aligned rows of neatly dressed, proud soldiers waiting at resplendent military attention.  This is a ragtag bunch of rowdy men and women whooping it up as the captives arrive home.  Rey watches as a newly freed woman rushes up into the arms of a waiting man.  She’s laughing with joy as he swings her around and plants a big kiss on her.  One by one, the Resistance prisoners are greeted by crying and grinning friends and family.  Everywhere is relief and joy. 

And then there is Rey. Standing with smeared makeup on and her hair piled up in a complicated chignon.  Wearing her elegant dark pink day gown with matching slippers, Rey looks nothing like a Resistance prisoner.  She stands there alone scanning the crowd and wondering if maybe the wookiee Chewbacca had made it off the Starkiller, if maybe he might be here to recognize her and vouch for her.  But apparently not.  And that's probably for the best, since the wookiee would connect Rey to a past that would only raise questions and tie her directly to Kylo Ren.  It will be easier, Rey suspects, if she isn’t known for the Starkiller.  Kylo had said to be as anonymous as possible and to blend in.   So it’s probably best that no one knows she’s secretly a Resistance hero. 

After a few minutes, someone directs her to a small conference room.  They seat Rey at the end of a table filled with curious, watchful faces.  The faces start asking questions and Rey begins stretching the truth into lies.  Following Kylo’s lead, she blames General Hux.  But she has a very skeptical audience.

_What is your name?_

_I’m Rey._

_Hello, Rey.  You should know that the droid is taping this so we can fact-check what you tell us.  We take security very seriously here.  What’s your last name, Rey?_

_I don’t have one._

_Why is that?_

_Because I don’t have one._

_Where are you from?_

_Jakku on the Western Reaches._

_You don't sound like you are from the Rim.  Are you a student, Rey?_

_I am a parts scavenger and a mechanic._

_Really?  You don’t look like you work with your hands._   _We weren’t expecting you today.  Do you know why you are on this prisoner exchange?_

_I don’t know. I was put on the transport at the last minute._

_Are you part of the Resistance?_

_Not formally, but I want to join.  I’d like to stay and help you.  I hate the First Order now._

_Why were you in custody of the First Order?_

_I don’t really know.  They picked me up when they were looking for a girl with a droid.  It was something about a map._   _That’s all I know_. _I guess I was in the wrong place at the wrong time._

_Were you interrogated?_

_Yes._

_By a regular officer?_

_No, by Kylo Ren.  He gets in your head.  It really hurts._

_Do you know where you were held?_

_First, I was on Starkiller Base. Then I was on a star destroyer._

_We blew up the Starkiller.  They didn’t have time to get prisoners off.  Tell us where you were held._

_I was on Starkiller Base.  General Hux took me with him in the evacuation._

_We have reliable smuggled lists of current First Order prisoners.  There's no woman named Rey on any of those lists.  Can you explain why that is?_

_No._

_Rey, why don’t we cut to the chase and you tell us who you really are and what you were doing at the First Order._

_Maybe I wasn't on your list because I wasn't held in the detention center._

_Why not?_

_Because I lived in General Hux's private quarters._

_I see.  That’s highly irregular, Rey.  That’s not how the First Order typically treats its prisoners.  And General Hux is known to do things by the book._

_I think I . . ._

_You what, Rey?  Don’t cry.  Will someone get some tissues in here?_

_I think I might be pregnant._

_I see.  Don’t cry, Rey.  Okay, everyone, let’s take a break._

The room empties out except for two men standing guard.  Rey sits there alone in silence for what seems like forever until two women enter.  They are both human and wearing Resistance uniforms.  The middle aged dark-haired one looks to have the rank of major but the older woman’s uniform doesn’t even show a rank.  She hangs back by the doorway to watch, so she must be an assistant of some kind.  The assistant murmurs something to the two male guards about PTSD and privacy and they depart.  It’s just Rey and the two women now. 

“Hello, Rey,” the dark-haired woman approaches to hand her some long overdue and much needed tissues.  “Welcome to the Resistance.”   The newcomer smiles warmly and her voice is soothing.  Instantly, Rey feels more at ease.  “I’m Major Kalonia.  I’m a healer here.”

Rey nods between sniffs. 

The woman holds up a medical scanner like the type Rey recognizes from her time in the _Finalizer_ medibay.  “May I scan you?” Major Kalonia asks.  Rey nods yes and waits as the woman waves the wand-like device up and down repeatedly in front of Rey.  When she is finished, she looks at the read out.  Then she turns back to the assistant who stands against the far wall with her arms crossed and nods.   The assistant woman doesn’t say anything.  She just purses her lips.

_Am I pregnant?_

_Yes, Rey.  You are pregnant.  Very early on.  About five weeks.   Everything looks to be normal._

_P-Pregnant . . .  Oh, Gods . . .  That is . . .   I . . .  Oh, Gods . . ._

The Major is quiet for a moment to let the news sink in.  _How old are you, Rey?_

_I’m nineteen._

_Nineteen.  That’s very young.  It sounds like you have been through a lot.  Don’t worry, we'll get you home.  Tell us how we can get a message to your parents on Coruscant and we’ll get you home._

_I’m from Jakku.  And I can’t go home.  Not anymore._

_Rey, surely you want to go home.  Your family must miss you terribly.  What did you say your last name was again?_

_I don’t have a last name.  I don’t have a family.  And I can’t go home!_

_Why not?_

_Because the First Order will find me there.  They will come for me._

_R_ _ey, the First Order has just traded you in a prisoner exchange.  You are free of them now.  Free to go home and carry on with your life.  You are safe now from General Hux.  He can’t hurt you anymore._

_I_ _can’t go home!  I won’t go home!_

_Don’t cry, Rey.  What happened wasn't your fault.  I’m sure your family will understand about the . . . uh . . . situation.  And you will need your family's support when you make your decisions._

_Decisions?_

_About the pregnancy._

_Oh._

_I’m very sorry, Rey, if you were mistreated.  Were you mistreated?_

Rey just looks down a moment.  Thinking of Leader Snoke and his wandering hands up under her skirt while she was lost in the Force.  _Yes, I was m-mistreated._

And now the older assistant lady standing by the door frowns and speaks up.  _We know all about Hux and his women._   _We’re sorry, Rey.  No prisoner should be abused._

_May I?_ The Major steps closer and reaches up a hand to inspect Rey’s battered face.  _That’s quite a bruise you have there.  We’ll get you a bacta patch, Rey.  How did this happen?_

_When I was put on the prisoner transport._

_Y_ _es, we heard that someone hit you.  Are you hurt anywhere else?  Rey?  Did you hear me, Rey?_

_No, I’m not hurt anywhere else._

_Would you like someone to talk to about what happened with General Hux?  There are a few women here who have been through--_

_No.  Please, no._

_Alright then._

This is not going well, Rey recognizes.  She feels her chances of finding sanctuary with the Resistance slipping away by the moment.  The Resistance people might feel sorry for her but they don’t trust her.  And that’s a deal killer, Rey suspects.  She has told the truth about her background but it’s not believable anymore thanks to Snoke’s girly makeover and the posh accented Basic Rey had never realized she had.  Rey would have been more credible had she lied and told them that she was some arms merchant’s daughter who was imprisoned because a supply deal went bad.   Too bad it’s too late to change her story now. 

And she’s pregnant.  Really, truly pregnant.  Kylo had been right all along.  Rey has been mentally preparing herself for this news, but it is still a blow. For a baby raises the stakes in her already uncertain future. 

A beleaguered Rey looks up to catch the eye of the assistant lady propped up against the far wall.  For the first time, Rey pays her more attention than a cursory glance.  Because she sees empathy shining back at her from the woman’s tired eyes.

"Can you give us a moment alone?"  The assistant speaks up and suddenly it's clear that she is not the assistant at all.  This woman is the boss.

"Yes, ma'am."   The Major exits. 

Rey and the older woman now openly study one another for a long moment. The woman has her arms crossed and her chin down and somehow she looks familiar with her crown of grey streaked braids.  Maybe it's something about the way she looks down her nose at Rey from across the room.  She is very petite but she might as well be six feet tall for this woman has all the confidence in the galaxy. 

She pushes off the wall and walks close to pull out a chair and sit at the table next to Rey.  The woman looks away for a long moment and now Rey thinks that this lady with her timeworn but still pretty face is very, very familiar.  She can't quite place why.  

"Years ago, when I was about your age I was a prisoner of the Empire," the woman says softly. "I know what it's like to be interrogated. It was the Death Star, not the Starkiller, but I'm sure it was equally as unpleasant."  Her brown eyes soften as she looks to Rey.  "I am very sorry that you have had this experience.  And that you find yourself in this situation.  You're just a kid.  And a kid shouldn't have to . . .   Well, no woman should have to experience that."   The old woman sighs heavily and for a moment she looks like she has the weight of the galaxy resting upon her slight shoulders. "Probably the only good thing I can say about the Empire is that they did not take advantage of female prisoners.   That wasn't Vader's style.  And Tarkin would have considered it to be beneath him.   But the First Order has very few standards when it comes to prisoners."

Rey nods and whispers aloud what Kylo had told her matter of fact.  “There is no morality in war.”

“There is here, Rey.  There is here.”

The Resistance woman resumes talking now about her own experience.  "Darth Vader was terrifying in person.  Utterly terrifying.  The Sith are like that.  Cruel and ruthless."

Rey keeps her poker face and says nothing.  She doesn't know where this conversation is headed but she knows it's nowhere good for her.  

"I think it might actually be more scary to confront a Sith if you have the Force like we do.  Because we are more sensitive than others to their power.   And even if we are untrained, we are always a potential threat to them.  So I think they feel an extra incentive to dominate."

"The Force is a myth," Rey mutters.  She's anxious to get off this topic. But her comment does nothing to deflect this woman's focus.  Instead, she meets Rey's eyes steadily.  

"You and I both know that you don't believe that, Rey."   The woman observes this with an unexpected gravitas that eerily reminds Rey of Snoke.  And now Rey is wondering just who this woman is.

She sits back and turns to face Rey squarely now. The time for dissembling is over.  "The other prisoners said that Kylo Ren himself put you on the transport for the exchange.  They said he called you ugly names and gave you that bruise."

Rey nods. 

"Rey, your Force imprint is enormous.  Kylo Ren would sense that you have the Force.  A lot of Force. And the very last place he would send you is to us.  Where you might meet a Jedi.  Or meet me.  Why would he do that, Rey?"

"I think he was just trying to anger Hux,” Rey improvises.   “Kylo Ren hates Hux. And Hux hates him.  Those men are always bickering and undermining each other."

She's not buying it.  "You're an awful risk to take just to tick off Hux.  And judging by your face, Kylo Ren doesn’t exactly seem friendly to you.   His past practice has been to kill other Force-users.  Not let them go.  What's really going on here, Rey?"

"I don't know."

"Is it that you don't know or that you're not telling me?"  Again, this woman strongly reminds Rey of Snoke.  She’s not hostile so much as strongminded with pointed questions.   This is not a woman to cross, Rey thinks to herself. 

Finally, Rey sputters out, “I never asked for any of this.  I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and I got caught up in this war.  I never wanted to be part of this war."

“But you do now?”

 “Yes.”

The woman nods slowly.  "Rey, I understand secrets.  I have a few myself.  But I can't have your secrets endanger the Resistance.  I know that you are not one of us."

 This is Rey’s opportunity to reveal her role in the Starkiller.   But now that this woman knows that she has the Force, Rey is more concerned than ever that she keep anyone from learning more about her connection to Kylo Ren.  

 "I want to be one of you.   I want to join the Resistance.  I was never a very political person before the First Order took me.  But my eyes are open now and I want to stay and help.   Please.  I have nowhere to go.  If I go back to Jakku, the First Order will find me."

"It's a big galaxy, Rey.  You could easily disappear.   Plus, this isn't a good place for a pregnant woman.  We are a prime target in an ongoing war.  And this is no place for a child."

 "You don't understand.  He--I mean Hux-- will search for me.  The First Order has a long reach.  He will find me.  They can find anyone." 

 And this comment makes the older woman crack a smile.  Well, it's more of a smirk and it is definitely familiar.  "They can't find Luke Skywalker," she replies dryly. 

"They don’t need to as long as he stays away," Rey whispers in reply.  And this provokes an arched eyebrow from the other woman. 

 Just then there is a knock on the door to interrupt.  "General, we're about to start the strategy session."

"Thank you.  I'll be right there," the woman replies.

"You're a general?" Rey asks warily as she looks again for a rank insignia on the woman’s uniform and finds none.   

"Yes.  My name is Leia Organa," the woman responds with a wry smile.  

Rey’s eyes pop.  "You're Leia Organa?  THE Leia Organa?" 

This is Kylo's mother, Darth Vader's daughter and Luke Skywalker's sister?  The longtime heroine of the Rebellion and the matriarch of the New Republic?  The Princess of Alderaan and the wife of Han Solo?  And Rey’s maybe-kind-of-sort-of mother-in-law?  

The woman nods and regally inclines her head.  And, yes, this is definitely the princess turned statesman turned general.  She looks different dressed down in fatigues and she’s changed her hair from the pictures Rey saw on the holonet.  But it’s the same woman alright.

"Oh," Rey says softly as she feels her face flush bright red with embarrassment. "Yes, I see it now."  She sees the resemblance to Kylo Ren clearly.   It's not so much in her features as it is in her expressions and gestures.  

Leia Organa cocks her head.  "Look I so old to young eyes?"

And that’s a mannerism that strongly reminds Rey of Kylo.  Wow.  They are very, very alike in small, subtle ways.  "No, of course not," Rey is backpedaling fast. "It's just that you look different on the holonet," she explains lamely.   And that came out wrong. 

But Kylo's mother doesn't take offense.  She chuckles a little. "I wear a lot more makeup when I'm on the holonet.  And dresses.  Always dresses.  Old habits die hard, I suppose."

"Because you're a princess," Rey breathes out softly.  "A real princess."

The general gives a little shrug.  "No one calls me that anymore.  That title no longer has any meaning for me." 

And then Rey remembers the old Resistance officer she had treated in the medibay who had talked about this woman still loving her estranged, murderous son.  So Rey takes a chance and starts talking more about Kylo.  Perhaps it’s a risky move, but it’s the best angle Rey has to salvage this situation.  She tries to make it sound offhand.  “Kylo Ren is better--well--nicer than Hux."

"That's the first time I have ever heard him called nice," Leia Organa says dryly.  And Rey flushes at having sounded silly.  No one describes a Sith as nice.  Plus, it's a horrible comment to make to a woman whose husband Kylo had killed.  But still, Rey persists.  She has to turn this conversation around somehow.  She needs to give this woman a reason to like her and to let her stay with the Resistance. 

"Kylo Ren made Hux take me with him from the Starkiller.  Hux wanted to leave me behind to die.  And today Kylo Ren put me on the prisoner exchange to let me escape the _Finalizer_.   It got me away from Hux.   Look, I'm sure he had his own motives.  But he ended up helping me all the same."   Rey looks Leia Organa in the eye.  "He may be a Sith but he's not all bad. There's still good in him.  I know it.  I've seen it."  

The older woman just shakes her head with regret.  “He is twisted and evil.”  And pregnant Rey looking on at this mother’s sadness is suddenly very, very afraid for the baby she herself carries.  One day, will she be Leia Organa speaking with a heavy heart about her own child?  It’s a chilling thought.  Everything Kylo has said about his mother now floods Rey’s mind.  But foremost among it all is the warning not to trust her. 

The general speaks and breaks Rey’s fretful reverie.  "Are you really a mechanic, Rey?"

"Yes.  And I'm a good one."

"We could always use more of those," Leia Organa observes.  "Our equipment is pretty old.”  She considers a long moment before continuing.  “Rey, you have been through a lot of trauma.   I realize that you need time before you are ready to go home.  So I will let you stay with us for a month or two.  But then you need to move on with your life.  You don’t belong here." 

Relief floods Rey.  One or two months is something, at least. “Oh, thank you—“

“Rey,” the general interrupts her and her eyes narrow.  “I will be watching you.  Others will be watching you too.” 


	21. Chapter 21

_“Yeah . . . I'll never forget the look on your mother's face.  It was the last thing I saw before the carbon freeze.  You don't ever want to see that look on a woman's face, kid.  It means things are really fucked . . . er . . . bad.”_

_His sullen fourteen-year-old self says nothing.  He hates hearing old war stories from his parents’ past._

_“The look on her face when she called me today looked a lot like that, kid.  It reminded me of back then.  You really scared her, Ben.”_

_More silence._

_“Don't pull this stunt again, understand?  You got a problem, you go talk to your Uncle Luke.  He’s a Jedi and he can help.  Running away doesn't solve anything.”_

_“Yeah?  Then why do you do it?”_

_“I'm not running away.”_

_“Yes, you are!”_

_“Your mother and I are different.  We're adults and this is how things are best between us.   You'll understand when you get older.”_

_“I'm not going back.”_

_“Yes, you are.  You're going to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like your grandfather and your uncle.  Trust me, you'll thank us for this when you're older.”_

_“Fuck you!”_

_“Watch your mouth kid or you're going to find yourself floating home!”_

Kylo breaks out of his reverie when the _Finalizer_ shudders and jolts slightly as it exits hyperspace.  He’s back in the present now.   Standing on the bridge staring into deep space.  Kylo likes to meditate here at the helm of his mighty star destroyer.  Like his grandfather was wont to do in years past.  But he can’t concentrate on the Dark Force because odd memories from his past keep rushing up at him.  It must be Rey’s pregnancy.  It’s got him thinking about what it means to be a father when his only example is the loser Han Solo.

 

But he gets it now.  Kylo had seen that face Han Solo had described long ago on Rey in the prison transport.  Cuffed and sprawled on the floor, staring up at him with a mix of surprise and hurt.  And fear.  Terrible, awful fear for herself, for the baby and for him.  Reflected in her face was the stomach-churning uncertainty about their long-term future combined with the awful certainty about their immediate future.   Because things were about to irreparably change.  To what end?  No one knows.

Kylo had managed to make sure that the returning prison transport with the exchanged First Order captives and crew who had seen Rey was vaporized.  A Resistance convoy happened to ‘discover’ the ship with information Kylo had leaked through backchannels of intelligence.  It was a tricky thing and the body count to cover his tracks was high, but in the end Rey was safely away to the Resistance and there were no witnesses left alive to tell the tale. 

 

The escape from the _Finalizer_ , the exploding TIE, and Rey’s faked death.  All in all, it was quite a success for a plan made up on the fly.  After all, it’s not an easy thing to put one over on Darth Plagueis the Wise.   And Snoke had bought it . . . maybe.  Long ago, his wily Master had taught Kylo two maxims of strategy.  When you sense a trap, spring the trap.  But when you sense a dupe, play along. Catch your foe unwary and lulled into comfort.   And so, Kylo is in the dark about where things stand with his Master.  Has he been discovered?  Is he suspected?  Has he succeeded?  Kylo doesn’t know.  But he is now doggedly committed to the lie that Rey is dead.  And he will maintain it just like the First Order maintains its lies about Luke Skywalker.  Because if you make the lie big, make it simple, and keep saying it, then eventually everyone will believe it.  Hopefully, even the Supreme Leader himself.

 

And this whole turn of events makes Kylo his grandfather all over again.  His beloved lost to him and his child too.  Rey is somewhere out there in the inky void of space that Kylo ostensibly contemplates.   Best case, she's living among his worst enemies who will only seek to use her.  Worst case, she’s on her own, pregnant, broke and vulnerable.  Rey is a survivor, he reminds himself again and again.  She's no helpless little thing.  She is strong and savvy and she's made it this far on her own so she will make it farther still.  Because the Force is strong with his Rey and she's carrying the Skywalker heir.  Destiny will take care of the baby.  Because the Skywalkers will go on.  Long live the Skywalkers. 

 

Even so, he cannot escape the knowledge that his family history is fraught with peril, especially for its women.  The Skywalker women all end badly.  From their patriarch’s wife hacked to death by her husband’s apprentice, to his great-grandmother’s violent end in her grieving son’s arms.  And then his grandmother’s murky demise that has never been satisfactorily explained.  He doesn’t want Rey to share their fate.  She deserves better.  They all had deserved better.   But life is a high stakes game when you are angling to rule the galaxy and control the Force.  There are casualties along the way and they have always included those beloved by the Chosen Ones.  For such is the bitter fate of the Skywalkers.  One and all, they are destined to lead.  But from Plagueis, to Vader, to Skywalker, to his mother, to himself, they are destined to be alone.   Disappointment and heartbreak seems as much his birthright as all the glory.

As the days slip into weeks and there is no progress locating the Resistance bases, Kylo becomes especially short tempered and on edge.  Nestor Ren even remarks on it.  They know each other well enough that Nestor doesn't ask what's wrong.  Instead, the Second Knight suggests a diversion.  Let's go to Coruscant, he suggests.  We’re overdue for some fun.  Kylo agrees just to end the conversation and later that week all seven Knights of Ren are drinking their way through the famed Uscru Entertainment District.  They are out of uniform and using fake names but by the end of the night that pretense falls away and all six of his Knights are openly calling him Kylo.  Nestor is acting as his wingman, as usual, but Kylo keeps turning up his nose at every girl Nestor tries to pimp to him. There's not anything wrong with these girls.  They're just not Rey.  Plus, he’s married now.  Well, sort of. 

Finally, Nestor calls him on it.   “What’s the matter with you?  That last chic was hot, Kylo.  And she’s just how you like ‘em--big and blonde.  What’s the problem?” 

 

Kylo shrugs.  “I’m just not into her.”

 

“You’re not into anything lately,” Nestor observes pointedly.  Nestor Ren has a two-track mind that thinks only of war and sex.  This time he leads with sex.  “This is about a girl, isn't it?” 

 

Kylo just frowns and Nestor takes that as a yes.

 

“You're Kylo Ren.  So, what's the issue?  Girls love power and fame.  And a uniform.  Is this girl married or something?” 

 

“Yeah,” Kylo sighs.  “She belongs to someone else.”

 

“Well, move on.  It’s a big galaxy, with plenty of hot girls.  Like that one.”

 

“No, thanks.”

 

"Are you sure?"   When Nestor is drunk, he tends to conflate his two favorite topics into a muddle of jargon and sleaze.   Tonight is no exception.  "Just look at her body.  It's killer.  We're talking lethal.  When she turns around, check out her big ass.  It's weapons grade, Kylo." 

 

Kylo just smirks.  Yeah, that's a nice ass.  But he prefers Rey's bony, skinny one.  Mostly because it's attached to Rey. 

 

“Alright.  Suit yourself, Kylo.”

 

He keeps drinking while he watches from afar as his Knights flirt with the girls.   Great, he thinks, now he's getting morose.  He stomps back to his shuttle alone.  And there he broods about Rey. What is she doing?  How is she feeling?  How is the baby growing?  And then the deeper worries surface.  Does she love him?  Does she miss him?  Will they ever see one another again?   What if she didn’t keep the baby? 

 

He is depressed about their future, for he cannot see a scenario in which he and Rey will ever be together to raise their child. Not as long as Snoke lives.  Already Kylo is preparing himself to give her up.   At best, he will play the Kenobi role.  He will be a caretaker and protector looking on from a distance, keeping his lost family secret and safe.

 

He considers finding her an apartment on some Mid Rim world with a large First Order base, hiding her in plain sight like Kenobi did his uncle.  Rey can live anonymously among the other wives and families, telling anyone who asks that her husband is a mid-level career officer on the _Finalizer_.  And then he can come and go when he pleases.  She and the baby will be safe and no one will be the wiser.  And he will be in their lives and she will be his secret vice, his secret wife, his secret Light. 

 

It's a nice idea.  A romantic idea. But it's not a long term solution.  The rational part of him worries that it would be best to give Rey a bunch of credits and send her off on her own.   Because the only way to truly ensure her safety is to get her away from him and away from the First Order.  That he should give her up for her own best interest.  That he should do the right thing by sacrificing their happiness and screwing over the girl who has been screwed over time and again already. 

 

But then another Skywalker child will grow up fatherless in obscurity.  And Kylo will be his own father all over again.  Walking away to leave Rey to muddle through things the way Han Solo had left his mother on her own to raise him.   His overwhelmed mother had been frustrated by her Force-strong, headstrong son.  So she had turned to her Jedi brother to fill the void Han Solo had left and to provide the guidance young Ben Solo had needed.  And see how well that had turned out.  

 

Really, it’s what happens in the long term that concerns Kylo the most.  Because, what then?  Years later he returns to tell some unsuspecting child 'I am your father' and all the ugly Skywalker drama repeats for yet another generation?  And what about Rey?  He can't abandon a pregnant girl who trusts him to take care of her.  He's supposed to be a prince for Gods' sake.  And Rey has already been thrown away once.  Sold as a little girl to be a modern day chimney sweep.  Sold like his grandfather the slave boy once had been.  Kylo can't dump her and further hurt the poor scavenger from Jakku.  Plus now he would be damaging his child too.   His child will need a loving, understanding mother.  Kylo knows--for he himself had needed that too.  Instead, he got a bitter, overworked and perpetually frustrated mother.  Leia Organa had been a woman disappointed in life and in love.  Will that be Rey too?

 

He knows that there are no good solutions to this problem.  And no matter what course he takes, the chance of discovery by his Master hangs over their head.  This had been a foolhardy risk to begin with. But now the consequences are that much more tragic given the complications of an innocent child.  His mind tells him that he should never have embarked on this ill-fated affair, but his heart tells him it was inevitable because this was the Force at work.  And only a fool fights destiny.

 

But destiny can be a bitch where Skywalkers are concerned.  And so every night, Kylo returns to his empty quarters.    He stands there a moment on the threshold, feeling keenly Rey’s absence as memories rush up to greet him instead of her.  Memories of how he had come in very late one night to find her curled on the couch fast asleep wearing only one of his black t-shirts and her panties.  She had fallen asleep waiting up for him with her datapad in her hand.  Kylo had decided not to wake her. But in the morning, Rey had been curled next to him in bed as usual. 

 

Then his gaze moves from the couch to the table where he and Rey had shared meals together.  Kylo would drink cup after cup of caf each morning as she would pick at muffins and fruit.  His Rey never ate much.  The deprivation of Jakku had left its mark, internalized so that even when food was plentiful Rey denied herself out of habit.   Try as he might to tempt her appetite, the only thing Rey had ever seemed to revel in was water.  She could drink liters of water.  And watching her zeal at downing water was kind of depressing really.  He hadn’t wanted to speculate on all the thirst that lay behind that pleasure. 

 

Theirs had been a short, intense love affair.  Fueled by wild sex, reckless defiance and the Force.  Stoked hotter by the danger and Rey's near desperation for love.  And maybe he had been a bit needy too.  For in his own way, Kylo knows he had been lonely before Rey.  Isolated by his rank, by his reputation, and by his choice.  Life together with Rey had been the best time of his life.  It had been physically, emotionally and mentally satisfying in a way that nothing else had been.  Or ever could be again, he knows.  And so he broods some more over his loss. 

 

Then he crawls into his empty bed to escape his troubles in sleep.  But even there, Kylo finds no respite from his obsession.  For at night the most potent of his memories come rushing up to his subconscious to haunt his dreams.  It's a jumble of vivid images, intense feelings and passion.   All in lurid detail.  Rey is grunting softly with each hard thrust as he pounds into her, the friction from their coupling so mindblowing that Kylo just can’t stop.  Or she’s astride him, with her hair streaming down and her head thrown back in wild abandon.   He watches Rey grind away to find her Light and it’s a sight to behold.  Then they are flipped and her mouth is on him as his hand reaches to her down below.  He tickles and teases until he gets to feel her Light before she swallows his seed.   Sometimes it’s a romantic seduction, sometimes it’s easy comfort after a long day at war, and sometimes it’s a raunchy romp for young uninhibited lovers.  But either way, it’s a heady rush of sex and the Force.  Then Kylo wakes up hard and hot and unsatisfied.  More lonely than ever for his Rey.   There are days he would give up half the galaxy for one more night with Rey.

 

Amid all this frustration, he feels himself descending deeper into Darkness. It had begun immediately after Rey's escape when he had executed four blameless officers with his sword. Then he and his Master had taken turns frying with Force lightning the unlucky stormtroopers assigned to guard Rey.  Old Snoke had turned the executions into a teachable moment about how to savor and prolong the kill by stopping just short of death.  Within hours, the entire ship had been buzzing with the news that the Leader and Kylo Ren are wizards of the Force who can shoot fire from their fingertips.   But all those deaths and the ones that followed did nothing to soothe him.  It's a vicious cycle because the Darker his deeds, the more Kylo yearns for the Light.  For Rey's Light.   And for Rey.

 

Kylo decides that if he can't have Rey, he will help others like her.  So quietly he increases Chief Healer Smath's budget for humanitarian medical missions.  And after Hux goes off one day in a meeting for ten minutes preaching about the need to win hearts and minds over to the First Order, Kylo increases his budget to builds schools.  Indoctrination works best when you start young, after all.  And maybe on one of those desperate Rim worlds there is an abandoned child who is fed, clothed and cared for by the First Order.  A child who might have been Rey.  For even if his Rey is unique and her story unusual, her experience is far more typical than the New Republic would ever admit.  Plus, far back in the recesses of his mind, Kylo worries that future circumstances might force his own child into poverty the way they had Rey.  And that the starving kids the First Order helps might one day include his own child who languishes in obscurity waiting to be claimed.  The Sith knows that this impulse for charity is also his shameful weakness showing.  For Kylo Ren has never been immune to the Light.  He is weak for it.  And if he cannot have it, he is tempted to be it. 

 

And still, there is no progress locating the Resistance hidden bases.  Which means no progress in locating Rey.  When he and Hux next stand before the hulking hologram of his Master, the general is enthusiastic in his criticism of Kylo's prisoner exchanges.  Hux never misses an opportunity to make him look bad. 

 

"This strategy is a failure.  It has yet to yield any additional intelligence after that first base raid.  The Resistance is on to us. They know to cover their tracks better now."

 

"Go on."  Snoke is listening. 

 

"They had the gall to destroy our ship with the last batch of exchanged prisoners in clear violation of our agreement.  We cannot let that provocation go unpunished by continuing the exchanges.  We should abandon this strategy immediately.  We gain nothing from it, not even the prisoners we bargain for."

 

Kylo says nothing.  It's hard to argue with Hux's reasoning on this. 

 

"So after the exchange, the Resistance destroyed our ship with the returning captives?" Snoke muses aloud. "How bold."

 

Hux nods.

 

"Such an unexpected move from them.  More worthy of us, don't you think, Kylo Ren?"  His Master turns his gaze to his Apprentice and a defensive Kylo instantly prepares himself for the Muun's probing mental scrutiny.  But his sly Master merely flashes a slow, feral grin.  "How Sith of them," he laughs, adding, "Perhaps I would like their General Organa after all.  First, she blew up my Starkiller."  Snoke slants a cold glance Hux's way and the general has the good grace to flush. "And now the old girl kills my poor prisoners.  Who knew she could be so ruthless."

 

Snoke sits back in his chair now to regard Kylo with new interest.  "What do you think of our current strategy, Apprentice?"

 

Here is his chance for rebuttal.  But Kylo declines.  The less said about the prisoner exchanges, the better.  So Kylo concedes failure.  "Hux is right.  "We should move on to something more effective."

 

Snoke nods and turns back to the general.   "Tell me your Plan B is something more than probe droids."

 

It's not.  Hux's alternative is always something textbook and predictable.  The cautious general is more of an administrator than a strategist.  His Master listens a moment before rejecting the proposal.

 

"Return to me with something better," Snoke decrees with an impatient hand wave.  Then he looks Kylo in the eye through his mask.  "I want to find the Resistance bases.  Now more than ever."


	22. Chapter 22

You have to be a little crazy to pick a fight with the First Order.  So the Resistance is partly comprised of zealous dreamers who remind Rey strongly of Kylo, only their political perspectives are reversed.  The rest are mostly damaged people who are here because they have nothing left to lose.  These are men and women who have survived the First Order.  Former captives like herself, refugees from conquered worlds who lost it all, and bereft husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, fathers and mothers who are here to settle a score. 

 

Altogether, it’s a collection of sincere, committed men and women from all walks of life and all parts of the galaxy.  Some fight for justice and maybe a tinge of vengeance, some fight in honor of a lost loved one, and some fight for the abstract ideals of the New Republic.  But everyone is here for a reason, and usually that reason is sad.   Horror stories of the First Order are what passes for small talk around base.  You break the ice with 'So, why did you join?' and then you swap expressions of sympathy.  It's not a competition for who has suffered more or for who has lost more friends and family, but sometimes it feels like that.  The shared misery is a bonding moment.  And on a grand scale it fuels the collective zeal of the group.  

 

I was a prisoner, Rey says when asked.  Then she borrows a phrase she hears all too often:  I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  She leaves it at that and generally people respect her privacy.   This is a place and this is a topic where people know to tread lightly.   

 

True to her word, General Leia Organa is watching her.  Kylo’s mother seems to find a reason to drop in on Rey working in the hangar every few days.  Usually, she just says hello and asks Rey what she is working on.  Then there is an awkward pause in the conversation and the general excuses herself for another meeting.

 

"Poe Dameron says you do great work as a mechanic,” the general tells Rey offhand one day.  “He says we are lucky to have finally found someone who doesn’t complain about having to make do with retrofitted old parts.”  And Rey can’t help it—she glows at this praise.  She’s proud of her mechanical skills.  She spent years on Jakku constructing work-arounds for obsolete and malfunctioning technology.  So working on ancient X-wings is a familiar challenge.  Truly, this is the sweet spot of her skills.

 

Working with her hands has always been soothing for Rey.  There is something very therapeutic about fixing things.  Something so satisfying about solving the necessary problems to make something work.  For machines are a discrete and finite set of doable tasks.  Not like the complex politics and unending war that surrounds Rey.  There are no solutions there, she thinks, and therefore no real end.  What was the meaning of the Rebellion victories at Endor and at Jakku if the New Republic it gave rise to would ultimately fail?  What did it mean to defeat the original Empire if half the galaxy now wants it back?   Rey wishes she could ask General Organa these questions, but she doesn't dare.  It’s best to say as little as possible to this woman, she thinks. 

 

Kylo’s mother shoots her a sideways glance now as she observes, “Poe also says you keep to yourself."

 

Yes, she does.  Rey is very uncertain about how she feels about the Resistance.  So she hasn’t made much of an effort to fit in.  "I used to live alone, General.  I'm . . . uh . . . not used to so many people."

 

The older woman nods before inquiring, “How are you feeling these days?”

 

“Just tired.”  Very tired.  So tired that Rey wishes she could nap all day.  But the scavenger girl from Jakku is not one to complain. 

 

“So you have made your decision, then?”

 

“Yes.”  Rey is decided.   “I will have this baby.”  Terrifying as it is to do this on her own, Rey knows Kylo wants this child.  His comment about the child being the only thing left of them as a couple had hit home to Rey.  And, independently, Rey wants this baby too.  Because no one had ever wanted her as a child and she will not repeat that mistake for another generation.  All life is precious, Rey thinks.  Child soldiers who grow up to be cannon fodder stormtroopers like Finn have value.   Dirty starving orphan children on Rim worlds like she once had been have value.  And Rey would feel a hypocrite worrying about innocents killed on the Starkiller if she were to kill her own child.   Yeah, the circumstances are different, but at its core the issue is still the same. 

 

“No one will think less of you if didn’t keep this child, Rey,” the general says gently.  “People would understand.  Not that they should be passing judgement in any event.”

 

Rey nods and General Organa tactfully does not press the point.  She just smiles.  "Okay.  Well, thank you for your great work, Rey."  Then the general heads off to another meeting.  The Resistance leadership does a lot of meeting.

 

From her outsider’s vantage point, the Resistance seems a vague cause to Rey.  Everyone seems to be fighting against something rather than for something.  Their unifying theme is hatred of the First Order, its strong arm rough justice, and its indiscriminate violence.  But no one seems to have a clear sense of what the alternative should be.   For everyone at least privately agrees that there were shortcomings to the New Republic.    

 

There is a yearning for freedom and justice and some nostalgia for the democratic Old Republic.  But no real sense of how to get there.  Because for thirty years first the Rebellion leadership and then their successors had tried and failed to achieve the dream.  Kylo was right that the New Republic was mired in esoteric debates over mostly symbolic issues.  Plagued too by infighting and rivalries.  Also, habitually disorganized and hampered by a dogged commitment to consensus decision-making.  Their lofty goals are so appealing, Rey thinks, but their process and their past results are such a mess. 

 

And maybe, Rey thinks, this is why the message of the First Order resonates so strongly with so many good people in the galaxy.   The Order articulates its message in simple, short ideas hammered home time and again.   In Hux's holonet speeches and slick propaganda videos, the First Order is very effective at tapping into peoples’ anger.  Filling the vacuum of leadership with promises of law and order and vows to make the galaxy great again.  Years ago, the Old Republic had broken in two and the Empire was the solution.  Generations later, the New Republic has failed and now the First Order with its Second Empire is the solution.   It’s a movement whose time has come, the First Order’s proponents argue their populist pitch.  Join us for a safe and secure society, and together we will have peace.  

 

There is a missed opportunity here, Rey thinks.  If the Resistance could just get their shit together and hone their message, they might have the better chance at winning the hearts and minds of the galaxy.   And they need a charismatic leader, too.  A new face to rally around.  A hero like Luke Skywalker.  Or someone else who is not burdened by close association with the past thirty years.  Leia Organa might be a very accomplished and wise leader, but somehow that gets drowned out by the personal attacks against her by the First Order.  They call her a nasty woman.  A washed-up relic of the Rebellion who had her chance and is long overdue to step aside.  She's only in it for herself, they say, don't believe her rhetoric.   She's been a left-wing terrorist her whole life, warmongering her way to power.  Leia Organa is as much responsible for the current state of the galaxy as anyone, they claim.   She’s full of stale ideas and tired, trite solutions.   It’s time for new thinking and new leadership. 

 

And those criticisms may all be true, but it’s hard not to like the woman.  Even if, thanks to Kylo, Rey had definitely been prepared not to like her.  For Leia Organa keeps coming around.  She’s downright motherly towards Rey during some of their interactions, and that resonates strongly for the orphan from Jakku.  One month turns into two months, and now Rey is well into her third month of hiding out with the Resistance.  Waiting for Kylo and wondering if once again she is waiting in vain.  But right now, Rey doesn’t have any better option, so she might as well stay put for as long as she can. 

 

"I think I make you nervous," General Leia says lightly one day when they happen to meet in the hallway. 

 

"I've never met a such a famous person before," Rey says and that's not really true.  Rey sees Leia Organa frown and instantly she knows Kylo's mother suspects the lie. 

 

But rather than be angry, Rey's lapse seems to spur Leia Organa’s compassion.  It’s almost as if this woman knows that Rey is hiding something.  The general beckons Rey aside now into a more private spot.  And it’s the conversation that Rey has been hoping to avoid.

 

“Have you started making plans for when you leave us?”  They both know that Rey has overstayed her original welcome.

 

“I guess I'll get a job as a mechanic someplace.  I like working with tech.” 

 

General Organa nods and then asks, “Have you ever wanted to learn the ways of the Force?”

 

“Not really,” Rey hedges the truth. 

 

“Neither did I,” the general shares.  “I never trained in the Force.  Others wanted me to, but I never did.”

 

“I . . uh . . . need practical skills.  To support myself. And the baby,” Rey explains.   Plus, she doesn’t want to go anywhere near Kylo’s uncle. 

 

“Yes, of course,” the general says with an approving nod.  “That’s very responsible of you.”  But the general isn’t done speaking of the Force.  “Rey, it is not an easy thing to raise a child with the Force.  It complicates things.”  This is the voice of experience talking, Rey recognizes.   “I’d like us to stay in touch after you leave.  If you or your child need help with the Force, I can find someone to teach you.”

 

“We'll be fine,” Rey says with more confidence than she truly believes. 

 

“Where will you go?”

 

Rey rattles off the names of two of the larger Outer Rim worlds that accept immigrant settlers.  And this answer truly surprises Leia Organa, for they are smack in the middle of the First Order territory.  She raises her eyebrows.  “Are you sure you want to go back to the Rim?”

 

“Yes,” Rey nods.  “It's where I am from.  It's where I belong.”   And it's where no one will care that Rey lacks an education and credentials because they need workers.  Plus, Rey could never afford even a Mid Rim world now that she will have a child to support.   Kids cost money.   And right now, Rey doesn't have a single credit to her name.  There had not been time to collect the credit cards full of cash that Kylo had given her.  If Rey had those, she and the baby might have lived comfortably for years on a fancy Core World. 

 

“Those are First Order worlds,” the general persists in her strong disapproval.   “They could be very dangerous for a woman with a Resistance past.”

 

“I know.  I'll be careful.”

 

“You might end up in the wrong place at the wrong time again.   Or that baby might end up a stormtrooper, Rey.” 

 

Yes, she knows that.  And Rey can’t resist some pushback.  “Well, since I can't stay here, I'll have to take the risk.  Those are the most developed worlds that I can afford, General.”  Her comment has the desired effect, and Leia Organa somewhat reluctantly grants Rey another month’s grace period at the Resistance to save her meager pay. 

 

Rey’s unorthodox arrival at the Resistance makes a lasting impression.  She will forever be known to some as the fancy girl in the pink dress even if she spends her days now in greasy coveralls with her hair tied back tight in a trio of buns.  It seems her Core World accent just adds to the facade.  Kylo had commented on her accent before and Rey had thought nothing of it living among the First Order elite.  But here with the ragtag Resistance collected from all across the galaxy, her speech is very noticeable.  And it causes others to make assumptions.  _So did your daddy the Senator not vote the right way?  Is that how you ended up in a First Order prison?_    Other accidental details just add to the mistaken impression that Rey is someone important who is downplaying her background.   _We don't get many like you around here, Rey.  What did you say your surname was again?_  

 

Her perceived otherness keeps people away, just as it had on the _Finalizer_.  And Rey is okay with that.  She has been a loner for so long that she isn't entirely comfortable with extroverted, friendly personalities.  Plus, it's probably for the best because close friendships amid the Resistance would just lead to lies Rey would rather not tell.   She’s conflicted enough about this war as is.  So Rey just lets people draw their own conclusions to keep the lies at a minimum.   And she doggedly avoids that one-of-a-kind orange BB8 droid that follows the lead Resistance pilot around like a puppy.  Thankfully, so far Chewbacca the wookiee has not turned up either. 

 

"Mind if I join you?"  It’s early and the commissary is practically empty so, of course, that’s when Rey likes to eat.  And today, it is when Leia Organa wants breakfast too.

 

"Please do."  Rey puts down the datapad she has been surfing.  It's become a habit now.  Every morning, Rey searches the holonet for information on Kylo Ren.  The First Order has an efficient PR machine, so there is a constant supply of information to keep up with the First Knight of the First Order.  It's published after the fact, of course.  But it's comforting to know something about Kylo's whereabouts.  Even if it’s just a list of places where he’s recently killed people.

 

Rey quickly powers down the datapad but not before the general catches a glance.  

 

"Kylo Ren?"  She raises an eyebrow.

 

"Yeah." The sheepish Rey is determined to change the topic now. "That new transport we got in is completely overhauled now.  It would make a great command shuttle for your senior team." 

 

“Yes, probably.”  General Organa replies but she doesn't take the hint.  "Did you ever see him?"

 

"See who?"  Rey plays dumb.

 

But Leia Organa isn't fooled. "Kylo Ren."

 

"Yes.  Yes, I did.   On the _Finalizer_." 

 

"He killed my husband."  Leia Organa says this softly and the pain in her voice makes Rey ache for her.  Because she had only known Han Solo a few brief days and she misses him.  Rey can’t imagine what it must be like to love Han Solo for years and to lose him.

 

But Rey can’t tell her that.  So she settles on the woefully inadequate, "I'm so sorry."

 

"We were divorced. I should call him my ex. But somehow I never stopped thinking of him as my husband.  That’s what happens when you are married a long time."

 

"I'm so sorry."

 

Kylo’s mother is looking away now.  "It was my fault.  I sent my husband to his death."

 

"On the Starkiller raid?"  Again, Rey is playing dumb.

 

"Hmmm?  Yes.  It was on the Starkiller."

 

"A lot of people died that day," Rey says quietly. 

 

"Yes,” General Organa sighs heavily.  The older woman blinks away tears for a few seconds as she collects herself.  "What was he doing when you saw him?"

 

"Who?"

 

"Kylo Ren."

 

Rey sticks to the script.  "He put me on the transport for the prisoner exchange.  He's why I am here."

 

"That's right.  I forgot."  And Rey doesn’t believe her for a second. 

 

Ever since Odysseus left Penelope, lovers have been separated by war.   Today is no different.  Spouses and children are left behind by the First Order and by the Resistance.  These are the women—and some men too--who raise children, care for elderly relatives, and persevere through the tasks of life on their own.   They muddle through the day as best they can.  And at night when the work is done, there is no one to talk to.  No one to laugh with.  No one to hold tight.  And then, they wake up the next morning and do it all over again.  Yes, there is glory in the fight for the cause.  But there is nobility too on the homefront.  For it is not easy to be the one to wait and to worry.

 

Rey knows this plight keenly.  Will Kylo ever come for her?  Or will he fall to the Resistance or to an angry Snoke before he can return to claim her?  Will she be left on her own with his secret child, forever on the run from the First Order?   Rey plays out the scenarios in her head over and over.  There are days when she is very, very anxious as a result.    

 

Oddly enough, Rey is lonelier now than when she was back on Jakku.  For even surrounded by would-be friends and colleagues, she has a sense of loss. On Jakku, she didn't truly know what she was missing.  But now that she has known love, she feels its absence keenly.  For, oh, how she misses her Kylo.

 

She dreams of him.  Hot, longing fever dreams of him in her arms.  So vivid that she wakes up panting and sweating with want for him.   It’s the pregnancy hormones, she tells herself as she struggles to get back to sleep.  But even more unsettling are the dreams are of Kylo speaking to her.  She and Kylo are back tucked away in that alcove of the prisoner transport.  He’s got his mask off and he’s gripping her shoulders, his eyes intense.  I will come for you, he promises over and over again.  Do not give up on me.  Do not forsake me to my mother.  Do not leave me for the Resistance.  For I will come to claim you and we will be the family you always wanted.  Never again will a Skywalker son be raised without a father.  That cycle ends with us, Rey.  And then she wakes and the dream fades but the promises stick.  And Rey believes them.  She has to.

 

Those days, Rey is up early working in the hangar before her shift even begins just to calm herself.  She's good with her hands and the hours spent alone with tools and machines reminds her of home.  Rey needs this comfort because at her core she is terrified.  Truly terrified.  

 

Because if the Resistance discovers her past, they will think her a spy and they will try to steal her child. 

 

Because if the First Order catches her, she'll be back in Snoke's clutches and who knows how that will end. 

 

Because she’s alone and pregnant and the only person she trusts is Kylo Ren and he's gone and may never come back. 

 

But Rey will survive these challenges the way she has survived all the rest:  she will take it one day at a time, make her best choices and hope for the best.  And as the weeks at the Resistance have crept into months, she is simultaneously less worried and more worried.  Less worried because Rey is increasingly comfortable hiding out incognito at the hidden Resistance base.  More worried because Kylo still hasn’t come. 

 

Amid all this uncertainty, Rey misses the Force. She misses the focus and concentration from the hours she had spent healing.  And she misses the healing, soothing Light. But Rey is scared to use the Force now.  Because it might attract the attention of General Organa and others.  Maybe even Snoke.

 

"You're not going to fit into that jumpsuit much longer."  Leia Organa says this with a friendly smile as she beams at Rey’s tight waistline.  Everyone loves a baby bump, Rey has learned.   But it feels weird to have people comment on her body so freely, even if it’s well intentioned.  And it’s super weird when it’s the baby’s secret grandmother who’s doing the commenting.

 

So Rey blushes and stammers a bit.  "Yeah."  Self-consciously, she smooths a hand over her six months’ pregnant belly. 

 

"Pregnancy looks good on you, Rey. You are glowing.  Is everything still going well with the baby?"

 

"Yes, ma’am."

 

"Make sure you don't lift anything too heavy or work too hard. Let some other mechanic do those jobs. You need to take care of yourself, Rey."

 

"Yes, ma'am."

 

And then Rey impulsively blurts out, “It's a boy.”  They had told her this at the infirmary, but somehow Rey had already known.  It must be through the Force.   Knowing the child's gender makes things more real now.   For unto her a son will be born.   Kylo's son.   Will he have his father's intense idealism or her own live-and-let-live pragmatism?   Will he have Kylo's pale skin?   Her brown hair?    Rey wonders incessantly about the new person growing inside her.  Who will this boy grow up to be?  

 

“I have a son,” Leia Organa confides softly.

 

And reflexively Rey plays dumb as her mind goes on alert.  “Is he in the Resistance?”

 

“No.  I haven't seen him in fifteen years.  We . . . don't see eye to eye.” 

 

“I'm sorry,” Rey says.  But then she can't resist asking, “What happened?”  How did this woman end up fighting her son on opposite sides of a galactic civil war?  What went wrong between them long ago that had led to this?  Rey has heard Kylo’s side of the story.  Now, she wants to hear his mother’s.

 

Leia Organa hesitates a long moment before she answers.  “I have asked myself that many times through the years.  I did my best.  But it wasn't good enough.”  She sighs heavily and then speaks candidly to Rey.  “Motherhood is a hard job.   I don't want to scare you, but it's hard.  Harder than war.   Harder than politics.   Plus,” she muses aloud, “it's forever.  You can change your life, change your job and change your future.  But you can't change your family.   He will always be my son.   No matter what.”  

 

Rey doesn't know what to say to this sad speech.  The naked hurt and regret screaming out at Rey through the Force from Leia Organa is almost overwhelming.  So Rey just whispers again, “I'm sorry.”  Its inadequate, but true.

 

“My son is my greatest failure, Rey.   He is my deepest regret.”

 

“What happened?” Rey presses again.  She’s prying, she knows.  But this is important. 

 

And as the unguarded moment continues, the normally steely General Organa looks to be on the verge of tears.  And her still lovely face looks old and tired.  “Sometimes, I tell myself that there's nothing I could have done to change things.   But I do I feel very responsible.   It's part of why I am still fighting this war at my age.  Because in more ways that you know, Rey, this war is my fault.   I can't fix him, but maybe I can fix the galaxy.  And stop him from hurting more people.”

 

“He fights for the First Order, doesn't he?”  Rey pretends to guess the logical conclusion.

 

“Yes,” Kylo's mother confirms.   “It's not common knowledge on the base, Rey.   But there are some here who know.”  

 

Again, Rey plays dumb as she widens her eyes.    "It's not General Hux, is it?" 

 

"No," Leia Organa shakes her head.  "Brendol Hux is from a famous Imperial military family.  And, besides, I would have told you if that were my grandson you are carrying."  She cocks her head now in that same manner that reminds Rey of Kylo.  The general smiles wistfully. "I kind of wish it were, Rey.  Then I could be a grandmother in a few months bouncing a baby on my knee.  That would give me something happy to look forward to.  Because this war is all I have left now."

 

"You son can't be as bad as Hux," Rey says softly. 

 

Leia Organa just shakes her head.  "He's far worse.  My son is a monster beyond all hope.   But he's still my son."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saw Rogue One and --no plot spoilers here-- I was really struck by the portrayal of the Rebel Alliance. How disorganized they were. How when people couldn't all agree, nothing got done. And how it seemed par for the course for not one but two splinter groups to take matters into their own hands. Seeing this made it very understandable how the New Republic might struggle and fail, given it was led at least initially by the Rebellion leadership. That idea made it into this chapter.


	23. Chapter 23

Where is she??

 

He can’t find Rey.  No matter what he tries and where he looks, he can't find her.  And that has Kylo Ren very worried. 

 

He does not dare search for Rey in the Force, for he knows his Master would sense his efforts.  And then that would ruin the fiction that she is dead.  His only solace is that Snoke’s carte blanche order to track down the Resistance hidden bases is the perfect cover for seeking Rey.  But even the First Order’s best intelligence and scouting resources yield no leads.

 

Then one day, he finds another Resistance base almost by accident.  This stroke of luck surely must be the will of the Force, Kylo tells himself.   This is fate revealing where Rey is waiting for him.  So this time the assault he plans is almost gentle, deliberately designed to keep casualties to a minimum.   For Kylo doesn't want Rey and the baby to be accidental victims of the First Order.  He explains this by telling his officers that he wants prisoners to interrogate.  But as one by one he invades the minds of the Resistance leaders captured onsite, no one remembers a girl in a pink dress exchanged with the First Order.   He does learn the location of two other hidden Resistance bases.  But he does not find his Rey.  Frustrated and disappointed, Kylo Ren orders the prisoners executed.  His strategy of no quarter continues. 

 

The First Order assaults on these two additional bases yield only the usual band of miscreants and terrorists.  No Rey.  And these locations turn out to be minor outposts.  They are not true nerve centers of the Resistance with significant warfare assets and command and control personnel.   The large base locations are closely guarded secrets that the hub-and-spoke model conspiracy strategy keeps hidden from all but the highest-level Resistance officers.  Meaning, of course, that they remain a mystery from the First Order as well. 

 

And that worries Kylo greatly.  Because if Rey is at a main Resistance base, it increases the likelihood that Rey has come into contact with his mother.  And that, in turn, increases the chances that Rey has become known to his uncle.  For untrained though she is, Leia Organa would easily recognize Rey's Force sensitivity.  His girl from Jakku is a shining beacon of the Light.   Here is another naïve Force-strong nobody who met a droid in the desert and ended up wielding Anakin Skywalker’s Jedi lightsaber.  No doubt the Resistance side of the Skywalker clan will think they have stumbled onto a new hope in Rey as their next pawn.   For the pure poetry of the coincidences smacks of the Force.   Kylo consoles himself that his savvy Rey will see through the lies of the Jedi.  And that her pregnancy will forestall efforts to train her. 

 

Where is she??  Kylo has to find her.  And fast.  This has taken far too long. 

 

Kylo can't find Rey, but he keeps finding reminders of her.  Finally, he relents and reinstates Hux to his rightful quarters on the _Finalizer_.  That's a depressing mistake because it means that Kylo returns from a fruitless mission to find a storage crate rather showily placed before his door.   It's Hux's doing, of course.  The crate yields up what remains of Rey's belongings left in Hux’s quarters.  It’s a couple of dresses she never wore along with a few personal effects.  Mixed in among these items is a small, pathetic hoard of ration kits and water bottles.  While there was never any risk that the _Finalizer_ would run out of provisions, his compulsive Rey was taking no chances.   Old habits die hard, it seems.     

 

Poking glumly through the clothes and food, Kylo finds the Jedi holochron Snoke had given her.  And the next time he reports to his Master in person, Kylo arrives bearing the little cube.   For now, more than ever, Kylo needs to stay in his Master’s good graces.  As he had hoped, old Snoke appears pleased to recover the holochron.   

 

“Master, I believe this is yours.”

 

“Indeed.”  Snoke accepts the presented cube.  “Do you know its contents?”

 

“Yes,” Kylo might as well confirm this.  “I talked Rey through opening it.”  He glances over at the holochron in Snoke’s hands, remembering now the recording of the doomed Muun woman who had spoken so eloquently of the Force before she had been interrupted to bicker with her son.  Still hoping to suck up to Snoke, Kylo comments, “Mrs. Damask had a remarkable command of the Force.” 

 

The old Muun nods.  “The stupid Jedi never fully appreciated her talents.  Her skill made her punishment all the more severe.  To lose the Force was cruel blow to my wife.”   

 

“She suffered on your behalf?” Kylo is fishing, he knows, but he’s curious.  The details of his Master’s past are still very much a mystery.  Bits and pieces are revealed now and then, but it’s an ever-shifting mosaic of information.   Deliberately so, he’s sure. 

 

“No,” Darth Plagueis declines to accept blame for the sanction of the Jedi High Council.    “Shan suffered for her own poor decisions.   I had warned her.   But my Jedi wife made the same mistake that many others have made.  She tried to subvert her destiny.    It brought disastrous consequences on her and our son.” 

 

And now his professorial Sith Master makes his unfortunate wife’s tale into a lesson.  “In some things, Apprentice, you must accept the will of the Force.  Even I recognize the limits of what I can control. The universe is a delicate balance. The Force will let us control many things, but it also demands that we submit to its will.   Respect the Force enough to accept destiny, Apprentice.  Otherwise, you may tempt the Force to strike back at you.”

 

The decrepit old Muun turns the blue and gold cube over in his hands as he frowns at some long-ago memory.  “My library is full of warnings to this effect.  Testimonies from Sith who raged against fate and paid a horrible price for it.  Fools, they were.  One and all.  My Shan was in good company.” 

 

“How do you recognize destiny?” Kylo asks.   For this is likely the crux of the matter, he thinks.  Destiny is not so much flagrantly ignored as it goes unrecognized, he suspects.   

 

But his Master’s response is not satisfying.  “You will know.  Destiny is rarely subtle and usually sudden.” 

 

Yes, Kylo recalls, remembering how he had first met Rey that fateful day.   She had been a filthy, dirty thing dressed in rags in the forest.  Impossible to ignore with a determined look on her face and a pistol in her hand.  Rey had shot first.  Kylo is Han Solo’s son, so he respects that.   Plus, he’s a Sith so he appreciates aggression generally.

 

Beside him, his Master is still musing on his long dead wife.  “My Shan knew destiny when she saw it.  She was a seer in the Force.  Shan saw far into the future with unerring accuracy.  As the years have passed, her visions have always proven true.”  Again, the Muun is absently caressing the small little cube that is all he has left of his Jedi wife.   “It was a great burden for my wife to know the future.  Because there was too much temptation for Shan to try and change it.  When you and I meet destiny, usually it is in the immediate present.  For even if we can surmise the general trend, we can neither plan for it nor predict it.  And that is for the best.”

 

“So you must always accept fate?” Kylo presses further, wanting to know the wisdom of the matter.  Because fate matters if you are a Skywalker.

 

“That is a question which I have been pondering of late,” the Muun reveals cryptically.  “How much can a Sith intervene without adverse consequences?  That is a mystery I have yet to understand.  The Force gives us free will, Apprentice.  But the most prudent choice is to submit to your fate.  For though you may try to evade it, and you may even succeed for a time, fate always catches up with you in the end.   The best I can surmise is that you may influence fate to some degree, but not entirely.”

 

“But Sith dare anything,” Kylo repeats back a hallowed maxim of the Dark Side.

 

“Indeed.  But there are no guarantees of success.”  Snoke gives a small, wry smile that twists his already bizarre face.  “Even I must accept disappointment and defeat now and then.  Powerful as I am, I am still humbled by the Force.”

 

“The Starkiller,” Kylo guesses the most obvious recent example. 

 

“Indeed,” Snoke nods in agreement.  “And, most recently, Rey.”

 

Huh?  “Rey?”  And even though this is far too dangerous a topic to pursue, Kylo wants to learn more.  Talk of destiny and Rey has him intrigued.

 

And old Darth Plagueis does not disappoint.  “Yes, Rey.  For many years, I searched in vain for her grandmother.  For a time, she was to be my revenge.   But I discarded the idea.  And then, generations later, the long elusive Palpatine line reappeared one day in our Lady Rey.”  

 

What?  “Rey had a connection to Palpatine?”  Kylo knows that the Force runs in families.  But it also appears without precursor quite often.  For such is the wily nature of the Force:  it is both predictable and capricious.  And Kylo had just assumed that the latter had been the case with the orphaned Rey of Jakku. 

 

“Yes, Rey is a Palpatine.” Snoke confirms.  “Long ago, my then young Apprentice had a daughter who was given over to the Jedi.  For years, he thought he had killed his offspring along with the rest in the Purge.  Sheev did not know what I knew--that the Jedi had cast her out beforehand.  The Emperor’s daughter was a spice addict as, apparently, was her own daughter.” 

 

Kylo is doing the approximate math now in his head.  “And the daughter was Rey's mother?  The one who sold her on Jakku?”

 

“Yes.”   

 

Kylo’s eyes narrow with suspicion.  “How do you know this?”

                                                                                                    

“I have my ways,” Snoke says obliquely and Kylo takes the hint not to inquire further.  The Muun’s face is hard as he revisits the betrayals of the past.  “Sheev Palpatine murdered my family and stole my Empire.   He took the son I created in the Force as his Apprentice and then failed to adequately train him.  My Apprentice took from me everything I had ever wanted.  So I planned to hold fast to something he held dear.  I looked in every gutter in the Core and paid off far too many drug dealers along the way.  But I never found her.”

 

Wait—is Kylo getting this right?  “So Rey’s grandmother was a Jedi who was the Emperor’s secret daughter?”

 

“Yes.  Our prodigy scavenger girl is born of the Light and the Dark, descended from both Jedi and Sith.   She is a lady by birth, if not by upbringing.  And she is the sole surviving heir to the Empire through the daughter Palpatine never met.”

 

Wow.  Kylo had no idea.  But suddenly it is all coming together.  “Who was the Jedi daughter’s mother?” he wants to know.

 

“Sheev’s wife.  Theirs was a mésalliance of a regrettable degree.” 

 

Darth Sidious had a wife?  And she gave up their child to the Jedi?  Now Kylo is full of questions that he won’t ask.   Because he doesn’t want a prolonged conversation about Rey.  The less said between his Master and himself about Rey, the better.   Especially since Snoke keeps displaying an unnerving tendency to speak of Rey in the present tense.   

 

The Muun now shoots him a look.  “Take a lesson, here, Apprentice:  in time, the Force always surfaces its own.  Ultimately, truly gifted Force-users will always come to light, even if they hide their Force imprint like a Sith.  Your grandfather and Sheev used that fact successfully to hunt Jedi for years.  You might not be able to pinpoint a physical location, but their existence cannot be completely hidden.  Like with Skywalker now and Yoda before him, I know that they are out there.  And, in turn, that is how Sheev Palpatine knew that I survived.”

 

Kylo says nothing.  This is not welcome news.

 

“All these years later, when we are on the cusp of founding a Second Empire, my patience finally is rewarded and the Force sends our Rey of Light to heal me.  All in preparation for me to publicly rule the galaxy.   There are no coincidences that bring together the Dark and the Light.  Always, Apprentice, there is a reason.”  Then, his Master belatedly recollects the denouement.   “But, alas, you tell me that my healer is no longer with us.  And so, it seems, the public shall have to accommodate this ugly visage.”  This is one of the very few times Kylo has ever heard the reclusive Darth Plagueis refer to his physical deformity.  His Master now slides a sharp glance Kylo’s way.  “Such a pity that she perished in your care, Apprentice.  Such a pity.” 

 

The conversation moves on from this to talk of war.  For now, more than ever, Leader Snoke is anxious to crush the Resistance.   Talk of victory inevitably leads to talk of Skywalker.  Where is the Last Jedi and what is he up to?  Both Master and Apprentice fully expect Luke Skywalker to surface eventually.  We shall know when the end is near, his Master predicts, for that is when your uncle will crawl out of hiding.  It will be a day long remembered when finally we crush the Resistance with one swift stroke and you take the head of Luke Skywalker.  That day will soon come, Kylo vows in earnest.  But the old campaigner Snoke is more measured in his expectations:  we shall see, we shall see. 

 

Only once Kylo is safely enroute aboard his command shuttle does he allow himself to contemplate what Darth Plagueis has revealed today:  that Rey is a Palpatine and that Kylo will not be able to hide her forever.

 

Where is she??  Kylo has to find her.  For Rey is the one woman in the galaxy who is his peer and now he knows why. 

 

Vader’s grandson has unknowingly married Sidious’ great-grand daughter.  A Skywalker has mated with a Palpatine.  What are the chances?  Could there be a more random twist of fate?  This is destiny, without a doubt.  For no matter what the old Muun might believe, Rey is meant for Kylo Ren.  And though he had loved Rey as a Jakku nobody, he worships her now as a secret scion of Darkness.  She has a fearsome Sith heritage to match his own, with an accidental Jedi thrown into the mix as well.  And, really, that just speaks to how strongly the Force runs in both their families.  For they are born Dark or Light, Jedi or Sith, but always they are born with the Force.  And somewhere out there, there is a child waiting to be born.   The culmination of the two families who built and ruled the Empire.  Will this new generation be Dark or Light, he wonders.  Only time will tell.   

 

But now, more than ever, he has to find Rey.  Before his mother finds her.  Before uncle finds her.  And before his Master finds her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist making the Rey-Emperor connection. I laid the groundwork for this in a separate Sidious story called Red, but I never connected all the dots. It felt right to so it here because you know Kylo would be so into this idea. And because it's pretty clear that Rey is set up to have some important heritage in the movies. And, yeah, I know it makes for a small universe and maybe makes the Force less egalitarian. But, still. I want Rey to be someone extra special because it just adds to the romance of her story.


	24. Chapter 24

Rey is not intending to eavesdrop, but it just works out that way. The pair are standing close to the ship she’s working on and it’s afterhours in the mostly empty hangar when there is none of the usual background noise to drown their voices out.   Rey is lying on her back on a creeper doing maintenance on the repulsor lifts of a mid-size personnel transport that looks old enough to have seen the Clone Wars.  All the Resistance equipment is old, but this ship is positively ancient.  Rey has almost got the complex machinery back together.  She'll just get these last few pieces cleaned up, bolt them on, slide out from underneath, and then she'll be done. 

_Have you thought any more about coming back?_

_Leia, we've been over this before.  This isn't my war._

_This time is different._

_No, it's not.  And I'm not killing Ben.  So don't start on that again._

_I don't want you to kill him.  I just want you to talk to him._

_Don’t fool yourself.  Ben is not a kid anymore.  If we meet, then one of us is going to die._

 

That's definitely General Leia Organa's voice, Rey thinks.  She doesn't recognize the male voice.  But she thinks she knows the Ben they are talking about. 

 

Rey keeps tinkering through a long pause in the conversation.  Just when she thinks the pair must have walked away, the male voice speaks up again.  The man sounds like he is frustrated but he’s trying to be patient anyway.  But this is rehashing an old argument, so it’s hard to restrain his temper.   

 

_Leia, what exactly do you want me to do?  I'm not killing this girl and her child._

_What?  Why would you even think that?  I want you to train her, not hurt her._

_So she can be slaughtered like my other students?_

_Snoke and Ben must be stopped._

 

_I can't kill Snoke and I won’t kill Ben.  And I'm done talking about this, Leia.   If I’d known this is what you wanted, I would never have come._

_You know better than anyone what we're up against.  You're turning your back on us._

_I don't fight battles I can't win, Leia.  There is no victory here!   Can’t you see that?_

_You have to stop him and stop Snoke.  You’re the only one who can._

_There is no stopping Snoke.  And if I kill Ben, Snoke will just find another apprentice._

_So you have just given up?_

 

_Yes.  I gave up this fight years ago, Leia, and you know it.  Someone else can do the killing this time, I've done my share._

_You’re his Master!  You're the Last Jedi and you're just going to walk away again and leave me with all the responsibility?   Han did the very same thing--_

 

_Don’t bring Han into this._

_You started this mess._

_No, I ended it once before.  I thought I did.  But don't you see that it's a cycle and it will only repeat?_

 

_You are our only hope.  There is no one else because you won’t train anyone else._

_I won’t train another Sith!  And I won’t train some poor young person to be sent to the slaughter.  You said this girl’s pregnant?  Then she definitely doesn’t need to be a Jedi.  She needs to live so she can be a mother to her child.  Not fight your war, Leia._

_What exactly are you getting at?  Because I was a good mother to Ben!  Maybe I wasn’t perfect but I—_

_This is not just a war, this is a family!  And I am through watching this family destroy each other for the Force.   If Ben wants the galaxy, he can have it.  I won't be the one to stop him._

_So we should just give up and let the First Order win?  Do you even get the holonet on that rock of yours?  Do you actually know what Ben has been up to lately?  You’re wasting your days meditating while he’s off killing people left and ri--_

_Leia, our father and our mother died for this, my aunt and uncle died for this, the Organas died for this, Ben Kenobi died for this, Lor San Tekka died for this, Han died for this, our friends and my students died for this.  To what end?  We are still fighting!  After decades, nothing is decided.  Well, I am done with war, Leia.  You might not have had enough, but I have._ The man exhales a loud sigh and some of the heat disappears from his tone.  _This was never the way it was supposed to be._

_I know.  But this is the way it is._

 

There is another long silence.  And now it will be really awkward for Rey to just roll out and announce herself.  She knows she’s not supposed to be hearing this conversation.  But it’s fascinating all the same.   For though she hasn’t caught the man’s name, Rey is pretty certain who Leia Organa is speaking to.  And while she knows she should be avoiding Kylo’s uncle, Rey is curious all the same.   And, really, she has a right to know since this is the family drama she has gotten herself into.

 

_You’re right that this girl’s Force imprint is enormous.  I felt it as soon as I landed.  Where is she?_

_Poe said she was down here somewhere.  Maybe she wandered off for a minute._

_I don't like this.  I don't believe for a moment that Ben felt sorry for this girl so he sent her here.  The kid who slaughters his friends and his father has no empathy, Leia.  Why didn’t he kill this girl?  That’s his usual solution._

_She said it was to tick off General Hux._

_Which one is Hux?_

_The loudmouth fascist._

_Aren’t they all?_

_He’s the redhead who makes speeches._

 

_Yeah, ok, I know who you mean.  So why risk sending her here for that?  Ben had a reason.  The Sith always have a reason.  There's some angle here you are missing, Leia._

_That's why you're here, Luke.  Honestly, the more improbable parts of her story about her background are the ones that ring true.  It's the First Order parts that seem off._

 

_Where is this girl?  Leia, I don’t like this.  I’ve got a bad feeling about this._

_She told me that there is good in him.  Those were her very words, Luke.  That there is good in Ben._

Are they looking for her? Yes, they are definitely looking for her.  The last bolt is in place now so Rey slides out from under the transport.  "Hello?  General Organa, is that you?"  Rey struggles to sit up.  Bending forward gets hard when you have a baby belly in the way and your abs no longer seem to work. 

 

Leia Organa stands before Rey with her back turned.  The general is deep in conversation with a man in a dark suit.  Together, the pair face outward into the hangar and away from Rey.

 

“Are you looking for someone?” Rey calls.

 

"Rey?"   Leia Organa startles and whirls at the sound of her name.  The man turns now and Rey sees that he has a greyish beard and kind blue eyes.  Rey smiles up at him.   Yes, this is an older version of the hero whose picture she has seen many times since childhood.

 

"Rey, oh good,” Kylo’s mother looks relieved.  “We were looking for you.  Rey, this is my brother.  Meet Luke Skywalker."

 

And though this is the confirmation Rey has been expecting, the casual introduction is thrilling nonetheless.  Luke Skywalker.  This is really Luke Skywalker.  Rey's eyes are huge as she gulps and takes a deep breath.  Wow.  This is the mythical nemesis of the First Order standing before her in the flesh.  Here is the Last Jedi, the son of Darth Vader, and the destroyer of the Death Star.  He’s the hero pilot of the Rebellion who brought down the Empire.  He’s Kylo Ren’s Jedi Master uncle who disappeared into exile years ago.  And he's the mysterious savior the droid with the map had been trying to find when its path had crossed hers one night in the desert. 

 

“Hello,” Rey manages weakly.  Her eyes dart first to the lightsaber clipped to his waist.  Then to the Jedi's mechanical right hand.   That’s the hand Kylo had told her Darth Vader had cut off in a duel.  Yes, Rey thinks as she stares at this battle scar, this man is a warrior of the Light.  The Skywalker who went rogue and joined the other team.   And he’s been marked for death ever since.  So Rey can’t help but go all fangirl for a moment.  “You're Luke Skywalker?   You're the great Jedi warrior?” 

 

He smiles patiently down at her as he responds, “Wars don't make one great.”  And, really, that’s the perfect Jedi answer, Rey thinks as she feels herself blush.   Because it’s the Sith who start wars to gain power.

 

Rey looks him up and down. The Jedi looks just like Rey had imagined he would.  Not tall but imposing still.  Trim and spry looking, with a tousled mop of hair and a full beard.  He looks wise like Snoke, she decides.  But sad.   And that’s not like Snoke.  The Muun Sith is many things, but he is not sad.

 

“You've come back?” Rey speaks aloud the thought in her mind.  “After all this time?”

 

The Skywalker twins answer simultaneously: “Yes.”  “No.”  And now it’s awkward as they turn to glare at one another.  Yes, even the Skywalkers on the same side of the family have their conflicts, Rey realizes.

 

The Force is swirling around them now.  It’s unnerving and Rey openly frowns.  Leia Organa also looks like she senses something.  She crosses her arms and looks uncertain and uncomfortable.  But beside his sister, the Jedi’s face betrays no concern.  He continues to study Rey.

 

And looking up at the two preeminent figures of the past forty years, suddenly Rey is aware that she looks ridiculous, maybe even disrespectful, crouched near the ground.  After all, Rey thinks, this greeting would never pass muster with formal old Snoke.  So Rey makes to stand and she’s awkward.  Her balance thrown off by her still muscles and her burgeoning pregnancy. The Jedi reaches down to give struggling Rey a hand up.   It’s his mechanical, metal hand.   For a long second, Rey hesitates to accept it.  But then she does and at the first touch instantly her mind dissolves into the Force.  

 

This is like when she had touched the Skywalker lightsaber at Maz Kanata's bar, only worse.  Because the images keep rushing up to bombard Rey with a quick swirl of knowledge and a heady rush of emotions.  Here in a nutshell is the confused drama of a storied clan long foretold.  Here are the small, private events that have shaped the collective history of many.  The conflicts are personal and yet eternal.  And the consequences are the stuff of myth and legend.  There are no true heroes here, but there are plenty of heroics.

 

_A bearded man rushes down a ship ramp carrying a pregnant woman in his arms.  She is unconscious and fading fast.  For reasons we can’t explain, we are losing her.  This is the fate of a Sith’s wife._

 

_Then a younger man with a scar that splits one eyebrow cradles a bloodied woman in his arms.  She becomes one with the Force in an awful moment of loss.  Stay with me, Mom.  And she tries, but she can’t.  This is the fate of a Sith’s mother._

 

 _Then there is Kylo striding fast across a battlefield carrying herself in limp in his arms.  Is Kylo taking her to safety or to danger?  Rey can't tell.  If what you say about this girl is true, bring her to me._ _This is the fate of a Sith’s lover._

 

In the background, someone is yelling Rey’s name and shaking her.  But Rey is too lost in the Force to understand.   Her sense of physical self is gone.  She is amorphous and floating.  Then her mind abruptly shifts and now it is not the Skywalker women she sees, but the men. 

_A tall cloaked Sith announces with pride ‘I am your father’ to a disbelieving son.  The son too is Sith, but more machine now than man.  But still, he needs a teacher.  Join me, the father urges, we can rule the galaxy.  But the Force has other plans._

 

_Then the cycle repeats and this time the Sith son looms large over his own long-lost progeny.  I am your father, he reveals to the disbelieving son.  Join me and we can rule the galaxy.  But this Jedi boy takes one last look and lets go.  He would rather die than be Sith.  But the Force has other plans._

 

_The next son is far younger than the others, and more troubled too.  This boy knows who his father is.  But not who his grandfather is.  And not who his grandfather's father is.  It is a shameful heritage no one wants to divulge.  But those who have never learned from the mistakes of the past are destined to repeat them.  And so a family that believes their worst foes to be vanquished ends up creating one from among themselves.  For while they intend the boy to be Jedi, the Force has other plans._

 

 _Help!_   Rey is drowning now in the Force, her mind utterly dissolved and drifting freely in the energy field that binds the universe together.  She has no physical self, no distinct mental self, there is just the universe.   _I am one with the Force.  The Force is with me_.  This is deeper than Rey has ever been.  And it’s dangerously deep. 

 

_The faces flash before her eyes.  Some she recognizes, some she does not.  But she knows who they are.  For here in four generations is a microcosm of it all.  Good and Evil, Dark and Light, Jedi and Sith.  The conflicts keep repeating themselves again and again.  Because while these people say they want to shape the future, each in their own way is slavishly devoted to the past.   Are they trapped in a vicious cycle or gifted with yet another chance to get it right?   Family, power, love and the Force intersect differently each time, but the result is always the same.  Lost dreams.  Lost love.   Lost children.  And billions dead on the sidelines of all this hubris, dysfunction and pathos._

_This is what it means to be the Chosen Ones.  To be gifted with the Force, burdened by ideals, and torn apart by ambition.  And this, now, is Rey’s future too._

 

Hands are shaking her roughly, slapping her even.  Wake up, Rey!  Wake up, Rey!   Someone call a medic!  That won’t help her, Leia!  _Help!  Help me!_   But in her trance-like state, Rey cannot be reached by those closest to her.   The gulf between them is too great.  Too many lies, too many secrets, too much conflict yet to be discovered.

 

Instead, it is someone far, far away who recognizes Rey and patiently guides her back to the present.  In slow, terraced steps she returns to normal consciousness.  _Control . . . you must learn control.  Come to me and I will teach you control.  I know that you have not been practicing._   His voice is so soothing, so paternal, so caring even though it chides.  Rey is surprised that he’s not angry with her.   Shouldn't he be angry with her?  _Goood.  Goood._   _I have missed you in the Force_.  He purrs out the encouragement Rey needs to hear just now.  For, as always, he loves to teach.  Today self-preservation makes the survivor Rey his willing student.   _Come home, my dear, and I will complete your training._ And Rey has to concede that she needs his training.  Awkwardly, Rey attempts an apology.  For today he has saved her even though she has run from him.  But he brushes this aside.  _Return to me and all will be forgiven._   _Heal me and all will be forgiven._   That promise is a lie, she suspects.   But all the same, she whispers thank you. Thank you for saving me.   And Rey wakes with the words on her lips as well as in her mind. 

 

“Thank you, Darth Plagueis.  Thank you.”

 

And from far away in the murky mental ether of the Force, she hears his reply.  _You cannot hide forever, Rey._

 

And then she opens her eyes to find the Skywalker twins starting down at her in horror.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have Rogue One on the mind lately. I find the concept of the noble everyman (woman) of the galaxy to be a very romantic idea. Plus, ever since Obi-Wan raised his sword to be cut down and ever since Vader chucked Palpatine over the reactor ledge, sacrifice has been a theme in SW. I'm sure Rogue One will make it's way more into this story (or maybe whatever comes next for me).


	25. Chapter 25

“Rey?  Are you okay??”  It’s Leia Organa asking, but all Rey can see is the piercing blue eyes of her Jedi brother.   Alert and accusing.  Staring down at her with undisguised hostility.

 

“Who are you?  Who are you really?” Luke Skywalker demands in a harsh voice.

 

“I-I--“  A still disoriented Rey falters.  Her mind is rebooting in the aftermath of the Force vision.  While this has happened once before, this time was even more terrifying.  Rey’s heart is racing and she’s panting with exertion and adrenaline combined.  The vivid, lurid Skywalker history still consumes her thoughts.  “I-I--“

 

“Luke, give her a moment—“  The Resistance general is kneeling at her side now.   Rey slowly realizes that she’s sprawled on the floor.  The Force has literally knocked her off her feet, just like with the vision at Maz’s castle.

 

“Answer me!” the Jedi demands again. 

 

And seeing his face clouded with suspicion and anger, Rey wants nothing more than to run.  Because in life, sometimes it’s fight or flight and this man is the Jedi who killed two Sith so the choice is definitely flight.  Rey hasn’t survived this long without thinking fast.  She climbs to her feet.  She’s poised to flee when she hears the distinctive snap-hiss of the Jedi’s blade.  Rey looks up to find a gleaming green lightsaber held steady before her face.

 

She’s cornered.  And now Leia Organa too turns accusing eyes on Rey.

 

“Answer me,” the Jedi commands.  “Who are you?  Who are you that you speak to the Sith in the Force?”  His eyes narrow on her and his voice becomes a roar of outrage.  “Who are you that you address Snoke by name??  That you thank him??”

 

And Rey realizes that her only choice is to talk her way out of this.  And she won’t be able to lie.  So she starts babbling fast.  “I'm the girl who found the BB8 droid with the map in the desert.  On Jakku where I stole the Millennium Falcon.  I was on the Starkiller with the deserter Finn, the wookiee Chewbacca and Han Solo.”

 

“You were with Han?” the general whispers aloud.  “Were you the girl the ex-trooper went back to save?”

 

“Yes!”  Rey needs to make them understand that she is one of them.  Well, sort of.  “I was captured on Takodana.  The First Order got me but they didn’t get the droid.”

 

“Go on,” the Jedi prompts.

 

“After I escaped, I watched Kylo Ren kill Han Solo.”  Rey turns back to Kylo’s mother now.  Rey has been wanting to tell her this for a long time.  “I’m sorry, General.  I really liked Han Solo.  He offered me a job and he was—“

 

“How do you know the Sith?” the Jedi interrupts.  He wants her to get to the point. 

 

But the story keeps bubbling out of a very nervous Rey.  She’s tripping over her tongue to get the words out fast enough.  Her eyes keep darting to the buzzing saber tip in her face.  “Finn had the sword—Maz said it was your sword!  Finn had the sword and he fought Kylo Ren.  He died.  Finn was cut up the back and he died in the snow.”

 

“Go on.”

 

“I took up the sword and I fought Kylo Ren too.   I won and then I lost.  And when I woke up, the first thing I saw was Leader Snoke standing over me.”

 

Leia Organa’s face is hard now.  “You told me that Kylo Ren made Hux evacuate you from the Starkiller.”

 

“He did.  Kylo Ren took me to his Master.  They wanted me alive.”

 

The Jedi nods.  “And?”

 

Rey turns back to Leia Organa.  “General, your brother is right.  You can't win.  Not really.  Light and Dark will always coexist to some degree.  That’s why you can’t kill Darth Plagueis.  He’s immortal and he is the devil himself.”

 

“He’s a Muun!” Leia Organa scoffs.

 

“No,” Rey disagrees.  “He is a Sith god.”  And now Rey has an idea for how to throw the Skywalker twins off the truth a bit.  “He lives forever in the Force even though his body is broken.  He can even bring people back to life with the Force.  And he—he—“  Rey pauses and deliberately strokes at her swollen belly.  Luke Skywalker follows the movement with his eyes.  “He even creates life in the Force.”

 

“I lived with him for months.  He has a library of old Sith books.  A laboratory where he does experiments in the Force.   And an old servant who he keeps alive in the Force.”  Rey keeps revealing truths, hoping that she is regaining credibility.  “Snoke doesn’t sleep.  He would meditate all night when he wasn’t working and wasn’t t-t-ouching me.”

 

“He is teaching you.”  This is a statement from the Jedi, not a question. 

 

And Rey nods yes, but then she hastens to clarify.  “He’s not teaching me the Dark Side.  He said I could never be Sith.  Snoke doesn’t want me to be Dark—he wants the Light.  Snoke was teaching me to heal with the Force.” 

 

“Yes, of course he is.  To heal him.”  Luke Skywalker’s tone is harsh.  “He's just using you.  And when he gets what he wants, he'll destroy you.  Just like he will Ben.”

 

Rey keeps talking.  “Snoke sent me to the First Order so that I could practice healing battle wounds.  Snoke has lightsaber wounds from the Emperor who tried to kill him long ago.  They are very bad and I don’t have enough skill to heal them yet.  I needed more practice.”

 

“Some of those wounds are from me,” the Jedi reveals. 

 

But before Rey can ask about this, Leia Organa accuses, “You told me that you lived in General Hux’s quarters on the _Finalizer_.”

 

“It’s true, I did.  Hux got demoted over the Starkiller.  I was given his old quarters.  But they were a prison, General.  I was marched to and from the medibay by a squad of stormtroopers.    I tried to escape once.  I shot General Hux and ran to steal a ship from the hangar.  But I got caught by Kylo Ren.  General, listen, I never lied to you.  I am a scavenger from Jakku who got caught up in a war . . . I never even knew that I had the Force . . .  I was a prisoner of the First Order for months . . . I never lied to you—“

 

“Except for the part about that being Hux's baby,“ Leia Organa snaps back.

 

“It’s not Hux’s child,” Rey freely admits now.  “General Hux never once touched me.  He wouldn’t dare.  Snoke would kill any man who touched me.”

 

“Then whose baby is it?” the general fires off the obvious follow-up question.

 

Luke Skywalker is staring at her now with an intensity that reminds Rey strongly of his nephew.  And she feels the pressure in her ears that tells her the Jedi Master is summoning the Force.  This, then, must be how the Light Side reads your thoughts.  For the Jedi isn’t invading her mind but Rey senses very strongly that she is being judged.  And so, on a hunch, Rey deliberately thinks of Snoke calling her beautiful, Snoke untying her hospital gown that first night in his bed, and Snoke kissing and pawing at her and asking if she will sleep with him.  She thinks of sleeping curled on Snoke’s giant bed and of arriving back to the pomp and circumstance of the _Finalizer_ as General Hux sneers about her being the Leader’s ‘special guest.’   It’s true, all of it.  But it’s not the whole truth.

 

“I think this child is Sith.”  Rey is truthful again, but deliberately vague. 

 

“You think??”  Leia Organa’s tone is scornful sarcasm.

 

“I wasn’t always sure what he d-did to me,” Rey improvises, thinking of her confusion as Snoke had once fondled her while she was in the Force.   “There was a slave woman once long ago.  He created a child in her with the Force.  There was no biological father . . . ”

 

“Shmi Skyw—“

 

“He can do things like that!  That’s how powerful he is!”  Rey looks Luke Skywalker in the eye now.  “As soon as I realized that I might be pregnant, I escaped.  Kylo Ren put me on the prisoner transport to be sent here.”

 

“And why would Kylo Ren risk doing that?” the Jedi demands.  “Why would he help you escape his Sith Master?”

 

“He knew that I was pregnant.  He could sense it in the Force.  And he felt sorry for me,” Rey says earnestly.  “Kylo Ren is not as bad as everyone says.”

 

“Kylo Ren is a monster who killed my husband,” Leia Organa’s response is cold.

 

“And he murdered his fellow students and countless others in cold blood,” Luke Skywalker finishes.  “He didn’t feel sorry for you, Rey,” the Jedi shakes his head at her foolish naivete.  He has it all figured out now.  “Ben knew you were carrying the child that might someday be his replacement.  He was getting rid of a future rival.  That’s why he helped you escape.”  The Jedi turns to his sister now.  “Snoke will never let Ben reach his full potential in the Force.  He won’t risk having an apprentice he can’t fully control.  He will kill Ben long before that.”

 

Rey is making headway now, so she keeps attempting to ingratiate herself with the Skywalker twins.  “Kylo Ren is going to kill you,” Rey warns the Jedi.   “You know that, right?  He and Snoke want to kill you.”

 

Luke Skywalker shrugs.  “First, they have to find me.” 

 

“Why did you lie to me?” Leia Organa is justifiably angry.  And Rey feels bad for having manipulated this woman so.

 

“I thought that if you knew the truth, you wouldn’t let me stay.  And I have no money and nowhere to go.  Plus, this is the safest place to hide from Snoke.  He can’t find me if he can’t find you.”

 

Luke Skywalker isn’t buying this explanation. “Just now you sounded pretty chummy with Snoke.  When you were talking to him in the Force, you—“

 

“That was an accident!”  Rey stammers out.  And it’s true.   She hadn’t been trying to contact Snoke.  “I was drowning in the Force and he helped me.  I was relieved and I thanked him for helping me--that’s all!  I’m not going back to Snoke—I’m no fool!”

 

“No one drowns in the Force, Rey,” the Jedi scoffs.  “That’s not how the Force works.”

 

“That’s how it works when I heal,” Rey shoots back.  “Snoke was teaching me how to control it so I don’t drown.  You can become one with the Force and accidentally lose yourself in it if you go deep enough.”

 

“That’s just a metaphor,” the Jedi rejects this notion outright.  “It doesn’t truly happen.”

 

“Yes, it does!” Rey holds firm.  “It’s happened twice to me already.  And I’ve even seen an old Jedi describe it on a holochron.  It’s true--”

 

“It’s not.”  Luke Skywalker’s voice is quiet and final.

 

And Rey stops disputing the point.  For Luke Skywalker is just how Snoke had described the Jedi:  rigid and dogmatic about the Force. 

 

“Do you really heal with the Force?” he asks Rey.

 

And rather than tell him, Rey decides to show him.  Picking a wrench from her toolbelt, Rey drags it along her arm leaving a small bloody scrape.  A mere moment of concentration erases the wound. 

 

“Impressive.”  Skywalker makes a face as he says this.  “Force healing is a Jedi skill.  How is Snoke teaching you this?”

 

“The Force is the Force,” Rey quotes the Sith Master.  “How the Jedi connect with it and use it differs from the Sith.  But it’s still the same Force.  And Snoke knows all there is to know about the Force.  Snoke loves the Force.”

 

“He loves its power,” Kylo’s uncle is dismissive.  “The Sith crave power.”

 

“Yes,” Rey agrees.  “Especially the Light Side power they cannot use.”

 

“What?”  Leia Organa looks confused.

 

“The Sith crave the Light,” Rey reveals.  “The Darker the Sith, the more they want the Light.  For balance.”

 

“There is no balance,” Skywalker scoffs.  “Don’t believe Snoke’s lies.  Dark and Light cannot live in harmony.”  Luke Skywalker’s face looks frustrated and annoyed.  “There is no middle ground, Rey.  We cannot coexist.”  And this is the crux of the issue that Leia Organa and her brother had been arguing about earlier, Rey realizes.   How there can be no victor because neither the Light nor the Dark can succeed in destroying the other completely.   So there is war without end over the Force, with this family and the galaxy caught in between.  The Jedi looks so weary and resigned.  So old right now.  “There is no middle ground,” he repeats, shaking his head with regret.  “The Light and the Dark cannot coexist.”

 

“Yes, they can,” Rey disagrees.  Because she has to believe that Snoke is right and the two opposing sides can balance even if they differ.  And maybe it’s not an equal balance in all things, or even at all.  But surely there can be some mutual respect and tolerance of one side for the other?  Otherwise, there is no hope for the future.  And if a Dark Sith like Kylo can love the Light like Rey, then there has to be some common ground somewhere.

 

“You could have told us the truth.” Leia Organa looks almost bitterly hurt.  And suddenly, it’s clear to Rey how much Leia Organa had liked her.  And what a leap of faith she had taken to allow Rey to stay with the Resistance.  It makes Rey feel awful.  Truly awful for lying.  And for continuing to lie.

 

Rey’s eyes find the lightsaber still poised to strike.  She stares at it a long moment before admitting, “I was wrong to let you believe a lie about General Hux.  But I didn’t think you would trust me if you knew the truth.  I thought you might think I was a First Order spy.  And I worried that you might want me to get rid of the child.” 

 

“Why are you keeping this child?” Luke Skywalker probes.  And it’s a fair question since she has led these people to believe she’s carrying the Rosemary’s baby of the Sith. 

 

But Rey shoots him a defensive glare anyway.  “Because all life has value, Jedi.  That’s the difference between us and the First Order, right?  They don’t care if innocent people die.”

 

“Does Snoke know about the child?”  Skywalker asks.

 

“I don’t know,” Rey confesses. 

 

“If he can find you in the Force, then he must know where we are—“ Leia Organa realizes aloud.

 

Again, Rey admits, “I don’t know.”  For Rey truly doesn’t know what Snoke had learned from their interaction.  Maybe nothing.  Maybe everything.

 

The Jedi too is suspicious.  “She has compromised your base, Leia.  You need to get her out of here.  Right away.  No matter what she promises, she cannot be trusted.  She is Snoke’s creature, through and through.”

 

No, never Snoke’s creature, Rey thinks to herself.  But she is Kylo’s in her heart and these people would view that as the same. 

 

“Yes . . . you’re right,” Leia Organa agrees with her brother.  “You had better get going, Luke.  We’ll put her on a transport and drop her on a neutral world tonight.”  The general takes her com from her waist, orders that a shuttle be made ready, and calls for security.  The Jedi waits to deactivate his saber until four men arrive with guns drawn to handcuff Rey.  Then he kisses his sister goodbye, speaks to her privately a moment and leaves.   Both Rey and Leia Organa watch as Luke Skywalker’s ancient T-65 X-wing lifts off from the far corner of the hangar. 

 

A bitter Rey quietly speaks her thoughts aloud.  “I was tortured protecting the map that led to him.  I suffered for Luke Skywalker.  For the dream that a Jedi hero might return to make things right.  And when I escaped the First Order, I helped to blow up the Starkiller oscillator.  To save the Resistance and keep other star systems from suffering the fate of Hosnia and the New Republic.”  Rey looks the battle hardened Alderaan survivor in the eye.  Rey’s words are part declaration, part apology.  “I was once one of you.”

 

“Until you met the Sith,” Leia Organa replies sourly.   “Whatever side you think you are on, Rey, it’s not ours.”  And, really, she’s right.  Because time with Kylo and the First Order has muddied Rey’s view of this war.  She’s not sure where her sympathies lie because they lie partly with both sides.   And in a galaxy at war where ‘if you’re not with me, then you’re my enemy’ rules the day and no quarter is given, there is no place for conflicting allegiances. 

 

The security detail marches Rey over to a rundown shuttle that is still warming up.  “Drop her someplace neutral, close and urban,” the general orders.  “I want her off-base within the next ten minutes.”  Then Leia Organa eyes Rey.  “Good luck,” she says begrudgingly.  “Don’t be a fool and run back to Snoke.   You’ll end up dead, Rey.  The Dark Side is full of promises that they never keep.  Remember that.” 

 

Then the veteran Resistance general walks away.  She’s halfway across the hangar when the first alarm sounds.   Within seconds, it’s a full-scale alert with sirens blazing.  Within two minutes, the hangar bay floods with pilots and techs scrambling to get fighters in the air. 

 

It’s the First Order.  Kylo Ren has finally come for her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 24 and 25 were split in two. It was too much for one read. So--here's the rest.


	26. Chapter 26

Rey’s heart leaps.  This is the day she has waited for and worried over.  Kylo has come back for her. 

 

The arrival of the First Order automatically trumps the need to remove Rey from the Resistance base.  Quite simply, there are more pressing matters at hand.  So Rey watches as the shuttle designated for her is stuffed with noncombatants and wounded from the infirmary.  Given Kylo Ren’s reputation for no quarter, the Resistance begins evacuation procedures immediately.  No one who cannot or will not fight will be left behind to die. 

 

All combat capable fighters take to the skies and suddenly the hangar is mostly empty of ships and troops.  Rey can hear blaster fire in the distance, so the First Order must already have entered the base for its ground assault.  And that makes her uncomfortably aware that she stands in the hangar by herself in handcuffs wearing the enemy uniform.  When the stormtroopers arrive, she will be a sitting duck and surely among the first to die.   So frantically Rey attempts to concentrate in the Force to break the lock on her shackles.  

 

The blaster fire sounds closer now and that’s unnerving because Rey doesn’t have a weapon to defend herself.  But she’s not sure who she should would shoot at anyway.  She needs to find the first officer she can and surrender to him.  But that’s a tricky thing because stormtroopers shoot first and ask questions later.  This might be easier were Rey not wearing grease stained work coveralls and sporting a ponytail.  No one is going to recognize her as Lady Rey in her current state.  Especially, given her swollen belly. 

 

Finally, one of the cuffs she fiddles with breaks open just as Rey looks up to see a swarm of stormtroopers enter the hangar.  They are here to secure all remaining ships, Rey knows.  To make sure that there will be no further evacuation.  To make sure that everyone left will either die in battle or be executed in its aftermath. 

 

Into the midst of the troopers strides a Knight of Ren in his distinctive black helmet and surcoat uniform.  This man is shorter and more powerfully built than Kylo and he wields a wicked looking pike.  Peeking from behind a cargo crate, Rey watches as he gives orders to a large group of troopers who fan out quickly into the hangar bay.  In seconds, Rey is about to be discovered. 

 

Taking a deep, calming breath Rey summons the Force.  Then she readies her mind to begin freezing any blaster bolts that come her way.  Kylo had taught her this skill for her escape from the First Order.  But now, it seems, she will need this skill to escape from the Resistance.  With her hands raised and visible, Rey begins walking fast straight towards Kylo’s knight.

 

“Nestor!”  she calls out, making her best guess as to which Knight this is.  “Nestor Ren!”  As luck would have it, she’s right.  But before Nestor recognizes her, the troopers pump off a few rounds.  Rey freezes them and that gets everyone’s attention.  Because flashing Kylo’s favorite Force trick might possibly be more revealing of Rey’s identity to Nestor Ren than any fancy dress ever could be. 

 

“Hold your fire!  Lady Rey?  It that you?”  The knight tears off his black helmet and squints at her.  To say he’s surprised is an understatement.   

 

“Yes!  Yes!” she cries and then shamelessly lies as she jangles the pair of handcuffs that still hang from her left wrist, “I’m a prisoner here.  I need help!” 

 

“Disengage!” bellows Nestor Ren to his troops as Rey rushes up to him.  “No one fires on her!”

 

“Where is Kylo?” Rey demands.  “Is he here?  I need to find Kylo!”

 

“No, Lady.  Kylo was supposed to lead us but he got called away at the last second by the Leader.  What are you doing here?  Everyone thinks you are dead.”

 

Everyone thinks she’s dead?  That’s news to Rey.  How did Kylo manage to pull that off?

 

Nestor Ren is looking at her expecting an answer.  “It's a long story,” Rey stalls.

 

“Are you hurt?  Did they hurt you?”  Nestor Ren looks Rey over as he speaks.  His eyes linger on her obviously pregnant belly.  But he says nothing.

 

“No.  I’m fine.  I just need to get out of here.”

 

“Good.  You’re safe now with us,” Nestor assures her.  Then he turns to a trooper on his right.   “Lady Rey is coming with me on the command shuttle.  Round up any senior level prisoners that Kylo Ren will want to interrogate himself and put them onboard too.”

 

Rey is filled with relief.  She grabs the knight’s arm to ask, “Nestor, will you take me to him?  Please, take me back to him.”

 

“Yes,” the knight nods.  “He will be pleased that we have found you, Lady.  He was very angry when you . . . uh . . . left us.  We’re talking blue lightning angry, Lady.  A lot of men died that day,” he reveals and Rey blanches at this news. 

 

Then Nestor turns to another trooper to issue further orders.  “Send a message ahead that we found her.  And someone get those handcuffs off her.  Once we collect the prisoners for Ren, we are pulling out.  Others can finish up here.  Tell the pilot to be ready.  We leave immediately.” 

 

“Come, Lady.”  Nestor takes her arm and leads her outside the base and into a waiting command shuttle.  It’s just like Kylo’s only it’s not black.   As they walk, the Second Knight keeps looking over at Rey in disbelief.   And glancing at her waistline.  “How did the Resistance get you?  Do they know you are the Leader’s girl?”

 

Rey is busy thinking up lies to answer those questions when Nestor abruptly turns to confer with an aide.  The men talk quietly about some prisoner as a squad of stormtroopers march up the rising shuttle ramp.  Rey can hear the sound of ion engines poised for takeoff and, sure enough, when the last trooper steps onboard the ramp is fully raised.  Rey feels the repulsor lifts kick in as the shuttle breaks gravity.  Then the squad of men in white armor part and they have a prisoner hidden in their midst.

 

It's General Leia Organa. 

 

The heroine of the Resistance is cuffed and stonefaced and staring daggers right at Rey.  But Nestor Rey doesn’t seem to notice as he walks over to start dissing her.  

 

“General Organa.  Well, today is my lucky day.  I rescue the Leader’s favorite girl and capture the Resistance general.”  Nestor grins over his shoulder at Rey.  “Kylo owes me a beer for this day’s work, Lady Rey.”  The Second Knight of Ren turns to the trooper squad leader.  “Good work.  Take her in the back.”

 

Rey jumps in now.  She has no idea how Kylo will react to the capture of Leia Organa.  This woman might be the top enemy of the First Order but she’s also Kylo’s mother.  And the grandmother of the child Rey is carrying.  “Don't hurt her, Nestor!   You don't know who she is.”

 

Nestor gives the Resistance matriarch a withering glance.  “I know who she is.  She's the enemy.”  He looks pointedly over at Rey now.  “I’ve had a lot of friends die in this war, Lady.  A lot of friends.”   

 

But Rey isn’t ready to back down.  “She's more than just the enemy--”

 

“You knew the whole time, didn't you?”  Leia Organa interrupts.  She gives Rey a hard look.   

 

“Yes, Princess,” Rey answers simply.

 

“Knew what?”  Nestor complains.  He’s lost in this exchange.  “And who’s a princess?”

 

“She is,” Rey answers.

 

“Really?”  Nestor Ren looks askance at this.

 

Leia Organa keeps firing questions.  She might be the one in handcuffs but she’s every inch the steely commanding officer now.  “Did Snoke tell you?  Or did Ben?”

 

“Kylo told me.”

 

The older woman nods.  “You were here to draw out my brother, weren’t you?   That’s why you wanted to stay so badly.  Ben knew Luke would want to meet you.  And then you could contact old Snoke through the Force to tip him off.  Too bad the First Order didn’t get here fifteen minutes earlier.  They might have caught our Jedi then.”

 

“No!” Rey instantly issues a denial.  “I didn’t tip off Snoke to your base.  It was all just a coincidence.”  And as she says the word, it occurs to her that Kylo would say that there are no coincidences, there is only the Force. 

 

“Ben, who is Ben?” Nestor wants to know but both women ignore him.

 

“You are a fool to be going back to him,” Leia Organa warns Rey.  “Snoke will only use you and discard you.  Once that baby is born, you are as good as dead, Rey.”

 

Her observations are uncomfortably close to Rey’s old fears from her _Finalizer_ days.  But Rey reminds herself that Kylo will save her.  He will help hide her from Snoke.  “We’re going to see Kylo Ren, General.  Not Snoke.  It’s your turn to be interrogated.”

 

Nestor stands observing this exchange.  He frowns down at Rey.  “Lady, we're taking you to the Leader now.  Kylo’s on his way there too.” 

 

“W-What??”  Rey half shrieks.  “To Snoke?  No, you can’t!  Nestor, you can’t!” 

 

The Second Knight looks at her in confusion.  “But you asked me to take you to Leader Snoke.  And I have to bring you to him.  I already sent the message ahead. He's expecting you.”

 

Rey feels the blood drain from her face.  “N-No—“

 

Nestor doesn’t see what the problem is.  “Look, Lady Rey, the Leader will be glad to get you back.  Er . . . “  Nestor gestures awkwardly to her swollen waistline.  “Especially under the circumstances.   He was very angry when you disappeared.  I guess I know why.  And Kylo will be there.  He was summoned there right before we left.  You can talk to Kylo when we there.”

 

Rey looks Nestor in the eye and blurts out, “This is Kylo's baby.  Not the Leader’s baby.” There’s a squad of stormtroopers looking on, but Rey no longer cares who knows because for certain she will die.  Snoke will kill her and the baby.  Then Kylo will die too. 

 

After a momentary pause, Nestor responds emphatically like the fighting man he is:  “Fuck!”  And now the blood drains from his face.  “You're lying. Tell me you're lying.”   Nestor Ren looks down at Rey’s belly and looks miserable now.  His voice doubles in volume and raises half an octave.  “Please tell me you’re lying!”

 

Rey shakes her head.  “No, no I'm not.  Kylo and I--  We—“

 

“That's Ben's kid??”  Leia Organa interrupts.  “This isn’t a baby created in the Force??”  Her face looks angry and incredulous at the same time.   “How many times are you going to lie about that baby, Rey?  Everything you have told me is a lie.  This too, I suppose.”

 

Nestor Ren is shaking his head in disbelief.  “Kylo's not that stupid . . . he knew you were the Leader's girl . . . and Kylo has never been much for women . . . “

 

“It’s true!”  Rey pleads with the First Order knight.  “Snoke will kill me when he learns that I am pregnant.  And he’ll kill Kylo too!”  Rey is scrambling for ideas now.  “Drop me off somewhere!  Anywhere!  You have to hide me like Kylo did!”

 

“So you and Kylo??  Nah . . .”  Nestor is still skeptical, as is Leia Organa.  “You’re not Kylo’s type.  He likes big blondes.  And you’re skinny.  And . . . er . . . not blonde.”

 

“Big blondes?”  Leia Organa rolls her eyes.  “How typical.”

 

Nestor looks annoyed.  “Lady, I don’t know what your issue is with the Leader but that’s between you two.  My orders are to take you in.”

 

“She's got the Force . . . ” says Kylo’s mother quietly as the truth of the matter begins to dawn on her.  General Organa is looking at Rey with fresh eyes now.    “He would be a fool for a girl with the Force.”

 

And now Nestor too is considering it anew.  “Yes, she's got the Force and she hates Hux enough to shoot him.  Those would be two big come-ons for Kylo Ren.”  The knight’s eyes are wide now.  “Oh, fuck!  I see it now.  You're why he's been so depressed and pissed off lately.  Kylo’s been killing people left and right since you disappeared.”

 

“Yes!  Yes!  It’s true!”  Rey wails.  They are wasting precious time.

 

But Nestor wants the whole story.  “So he helped you escape and faked your death. How did he get you off the _Finalizer_?  Tell me the truth—“

 

“He sent me on the prisoner exchange to the Resistance.” 

 

Nestor nods as pieces it all together now.  “Where the Leader couldn't find you. Okay, I get it.   But Kylo hates the Resistance.”

 

“He sent me there to hide out until he could come back for me.”  Rey looks to Leia Organa now.  “He knew that you would let me stay.”  Rey pleads with Nestor.  “You’re his best friend!  You have to help us!”

 

“It's too late!”  Nestor shakes his head with regret.  Then slams his fist against the shuttle wall.  “Fuck!” he hollers.   “Why the fuck did Kylo do this?   Why did you do this?   How could you be so fucking stupid, Lady??”  His eyes narrow on Rey now.  “Did you seduce him?  Because the Kylo I know would never do anything this stupid.  And the Leader is basically a father to him.  Kylo wouldn't betray him.  You fucking bitch, you’re gonna get him killed.  Did you seduce him?  Because if you seduced him, I will kill you myself now--” 

 

And Leia Organa just piles on.  “Ben has taken some dumb risks before but this is the worst!  How did you two ever think you could get away with this?” 

 

Rey can’t speak.  She’s frozen with fear.  Panting as she gulps in air.  She had been so elated to see the Ren, thinking Kylo had come for her as promised.  But it’s all been a terrible mistake and now she has outed herself and condemned both her and Kylo as a result.  Yes, this has all gone horribly wrong.   She should have taken her chances to escape on her own from the Resistance.   But she had waited for Kylo to come back for her.  Like once she had waited for her family to return for her.  Always, hoping against hope for the happy ending that Rey sees on the holonet but never in her own life.

 

“Fuck!” Nestor slams the wall again.  “Lady, I didn't know.  You were supposed to be dead in a TIE from an escape attempt.  I thought I was helping you.”  He sighs and makes a face as more pieces of the puzzle come together.  “Kylo hid you with the Resistance.  That’s why we’ve had such trouble finding their bases, isn’t it?  Because Kylo doesn't want you to be found.”

 

Rey tries again.  “Turn this ship around, Nestor!  Please!” 

 

“I can't!” He roars out his frustration.  “This is a short jump and we're about to drop out of hyperspace.  The Leader's stronghold is an ultra security sector.  We'll get blasted out of the sky if we deviate from the normal landing cycle!”

 

“Can you warn Kylo at least?” Rey asks.  Maybe she can still save Kylo.

 

“It’s too late!  For all I know, he’s already there!   And when we drop out of hyperspace, our coms will be jammed.  It’s standard procedure here.  Any unusual com will only attract attention.”

 

And just then, the shuttle shudders slightly, the telltale sign that they have dropped out of hyperspace.

 

“Fuck!  I never meant for this to happen,” Nestor is miserable.  “Kylo was my friend.”  Then he quickly corrects himself.  “Is my friend.  Kylo is my friend.”

 

Leia Organa steps closer despite the stormtroopers who look on.  “Who are you really, Rey?  You owe me an explanation!  Now, before we all die.” 

 

“I'm Kylo's wife.   Well . . . sort of.”

 

“You’re Ben’s wife??”

 

Nestor frowns at Rey. “Why does she keep calling him Ben?”

 

“She's his mother.”

 

“Fuck!”  A supremely frustrated Nestor Ren swears again.  “His mother??  Is there anything else I need to know before we land?”

 

“I fought with the Resistance,” Rey confesses. 

 

“I knew that.”  Nestor nods.

 

“Yeah, well I didn't until today,” snaps Leia Organa.

 

Again, Nestor scowls at Rey.  “How the Hell did Kylo ever get mixed up with girl like you?  Did you fuck your way out of a prison cell?  Is that what happened?”

 

“She has the Force!” explains an exasperated Leia Organa.  Because, of course, the Force explains everything if you’re a Skywalker. 

 

“It's not like that,” Rey tells Nestor.  “Kylo loves me!”

 

“Yeah,” Nestor decides with a heavy sigh. “He probably thinks he does.  He'd have to in order to be this stupid.”

 

The shuttle is landing now at Snoke’s secret stronghold.  Out of the window behind Nestor, Rey sees the Supreme Leader waiting on the landing pad.  Even from above at this distance, the giant Muun is unmistakable in his black Sith cloak. 

 

Once the shuttle sets down, the troopers march a resigned but still defiant looking Leia Organa down the shuttle ramp.  Rey stays onboard, stalling for precious seconds until Nestor Ren steps forward to usher her out.  “I’m sorry,” Kylo’s friend whispers simply.  Because really there’s nothing more to say.  Rey takes a deep breath to summon her courage.  Then she follows him down the ramp.

 

Snoke’s eyes flit Rey’s direction briefly, sweeping over her and then lingering on her prominent belly.  But then his attention is all for the Resistance general who stands in handcuffs, dwarfed by the surrounding troopers.  “Your highness,” the Muun favors his prize prisoner with a perfunctory courtly bow.   As if this is a social occasion and not war.  Then he looks her over for a long moment.   And smiles.

 

"General Leia Organa."  He says the name with distinct relish.  Then his ruined face smirks. "You’re shorter than I expected.   Quite a small woman to have cast such a long shadow over our galaxy."  It's a backhanded compliment that's very Darth Plagueis, Rey thinks from experience. 

 

The heroine of first the Rebellion, then the New Republic, and finally the Resistance cocks her head up at the towering Muun.  She glares silently.   With her lifted chin and raised eyebrow, Leia Organa’s face is the picture of dignified contempt.  Watching her now, Rey thinks that she is every inch the haughty princess.

 

The Muun Sith looks very, very pleased.  "I have waited a long time to meet you, granddaughter.  Welcome home."

 

“This is not my home,” General Organa informs him bluntly.  “And you are not my family.”

 

“We shall see . . . we shall see,” the Sith Master purrs out.  He nods his head and looks satisfied. “You have been a worthy adversary, Princess.  Misguided though you are, you have been a credit to the Skywalker name.  Your late father was strangely rather proud of you, did you know that?”

 

Leia Organa’s eyes narrow and her face darkens.  She leans forward to announce, “My true father was Bail Organa.”

 

“Wrong.”  The Muun smirks again.  “You are rather like your father.  He had a hot temper and a smart mouth too.  But then again,” Snoke’s face contorts into a slow, broad smile, “Darth Vader was Sith.  And we Sith are like that.”

 

And now Snoke turns to Rey.  Instantly, his manner changes.  This is not the jovially smug captor who circles his cornered prey.  This is a man full of cold anger.  The giant Muun with the gargoyle face looms over her, frowning severely.  And when he speaks, his slow, gravely sarcasm is pure menace.  “Such a miracle this is.  For here you stand.  Back from the dead.  Back from the Resistance.”

 

Rey says nothing.  She looks around and then down.  Anywhere but at the Muun’s dark eyes that regard her with blatant censure. 

 

Snoke steps closer and reaches his long-fingered hand to lift her chin slightly.  “You are trembling, my dear.  So nervous.  So afraid.”  And now he slips his other hand covetously over her pregnant belly.  It’s a possessive caress that sweeps up from between the legs of her oversized, ill-fitting jumpsuit to where her belly meets her newly swollen chest.  Rey squirms at this public and intimate touch.

 

“You have strayed,” Snoke observes quietly as he steps back. 

 

Rey swallows hard. 

 

“Did someone harm you?  Is that why you ran away?”  Snoke’s voice is a neutral tone, but Rey is not fooled.  She can sense in the Force the undercurrent of violence to come.  “Were you abused by the Resistance? Or by one of our own?” 

 

Rey looks around, seeing all eyes upon her.  They have an audience of Milo, a dozen stormtroopers, Nestor Ren and Leia Organa.  This is far too crowded a place for this conversation.   Rey feels her face grow hot and she looks away.  She knows that she cannot take refuge in a lie.  The Force would give her away. 

 

“Well?” Snoke prompts her softly.   “Do not look at them, look at me.  Rey, there is no shame if you have been preyed upon.   I will avenge you, for no one harms what is mine.  But tell me now:  were you dishonored?”

 

Rey blinks at this medieval phrasing.  “No,” she whispers.

 

And now his voice has a distinct edge to it.  “Then you have betrayed me of your own free will?”

 

And something about this comment gets Rey’s hackles up.  “I did not betray you.  I was never yours in the first place!” Rey snaps back, glaring up at the Muun.  If she’s going to die, she’s not going to go meekly.  Rey of Jakku is going to die strong like she has lived.

 

“You are mine,” he responds coldly.  “You and your Light belong to me.  Now, who is the father?” the Sith demands.  And when she hesitates, Snoke leans forward over her.  “Shall I guess?  I am very good at guessing, my dear.”

 

Rey’s eyes dart almost involuntarily over to Leia Organa and he sees this.  “You cannot protect this man.  Confess or I will look into your head and learn for myself.”

 

Rey mutely stares back at him. Unwilling to say Kylo’s name but certain that he will learn it all the same.  Finally, she finds her voice.  “I came back,” she reminds Snoke.  “I didn’t have to come back.”

 

“Who is he?”

 

“You said you would f-forgive me if I came back—“

 

“Who is he?”

 

The Muun hesitates only a few seconds more before he lifts his hand.  And with it, he summons his Dark power. 

 

Darth Plagueis rips into her mind.

 

The pain is unbearable and immediately Rey is screaming out loud from it.  Squeezing shut her eyes and clutching desperately at her skull.  Her head is exploding with images and feelings as he rifles through, replaying the past day, the past week, the past month, the prior year.  Rey sinks hard to her knees.  She is nauseous, dizzy and faint. 

 

In her mind, Snoke watches Kylo steal a kiss under his Master’s nose in the training room.  Rey herself had been skeptical but Kylo is already smitten though he doesn’t know it yet.  Then the Apprentice cuts himself once and then twice for her to heal.  But the pleasure of Rey’s healing is nothing compared to the pleasure of her pleasure.   And once Snoke himself inadvertently reveals that secret, there is no turning back. 

 

Snoke sees them together on the _Finalizer,_ reveling in their forbidden passion night after night.  She is in his arms and Kylo’s body is buried deep within her own and she is loving it, craving it, wanting it.   This is all the physical comfort and emotional intimacy Rey has been denied for so long.  Together, they binge on the intensity of it all.  Sex and the Force, every day.  Then Kylo is shoving cuffs on her hands and propelling her into a First Order shuttle to be exchanged with the Resistance.  Telling her to take care of herself and the baby, he declares his love and sends her away with the promise that he will return.  But first, he backhands her across the mouth for good measure. 

 

Now, Rey is spending long months hiding at the Resistance, fixing ships, dancing around lies, and hiding from droids while she pines for Kylo.  It's too much. And it feels like it is going on forever. Make it stop! Make it stop!  Rey is on the ground now, writhing.   She clutches at her distended belly in a feeble attempt to protect the innocent child she carries. 

 

Finally, it stops.  Rey lays there, reaching out to the Force to calm and to heal.  She is terrified that her child has been harmed.   She is on the ground, gathering her wits until Snoke reaches down with both hands and hauls her to her feet.

 

“Foolish girl!” he hisses at Rey as he shakes her limp form.  “Did you think you had found a champion in Kylo Ren?”  He reaches abruptly for her left hand and wrenches it open.  He looks at her palm and grunts.  Rey is lost at this gesture.  “Such an easy slut you are!  See how little you mean to him.  He didn’t even bother to mark you for his own.”

 

Rey’s mind is rattled and she has no idea what Snoke is talking about.  She feels a trickle on her face and reaches to wipe away a tear but her hand comes back bloody from the twin trails of red that seep from her nostrils. 

 

“Did he tattoo you?”  Darth Plagueis demands.  “Do you bear the curse on your thigh?”

 

Huh?  Rey squints at him. “What?”

 

“Good.  Then perhaps the situation is salvageable.”  He eyes her with disdain now.  “You might have had the esteem of the Master, but instead you chose the far weaker Apprentice.  That was a poor strategic move, my dear.”

 

Rey scowls now at the wrecked face of the Muun, with its cringe-worthy deformities.  The futility of her situation makes her reckless.  There’s no point in begging for mercy.  For the best case scenario is that Kylo dies and Rey lives to continue being used and controlled by this zombie Sith.  Until he tires of her, that is.  “I don't sleep with monsters,” Rey jeers.  It comes off just as ugly as she means it.

 

But Snoke merely raises an eyebrow.  “Then you don't truly know my Apprentice.  For he is Sith the same as I am. We are both monsters.”

 

“He is not you.”

 

And now Darth Plagueis gives an irritating chuckle and shrugs.  “Not yet.  But he’s trying.”  And this insouciance in the face of the enormity of the situation facing her and Kylo just goads Rey further.  She’s had enough of this smug, power-mad Sith.  Rey of Jakku always fights dirty because she fights to win.  So she delivers a low blow in a loud voice certain to be overheard.

 

“At least he’s a whole man who can please a woman.”

 

Darth Plagueis doesn’t bother to respond with words.  He swats one giant grey hand across her jaw in a stinging blow and down Rey falls into darkness.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don’t really know if interspecies children are possible between humans and Muuns (all along, I sort of assumed not, but I am told that sometimes this works in the SW universe). I am going to presume it’s at least a possibility for this chapter. That’s why Nestor Ren might infer that the Leader’s special guest is pregnant with the Leader’s kid. It's kind of a minor point, in any event.
> 
> Will do my best to work on the next chapter ASAP, but it's Xmas so I won't have much free time. Merry Xmas to those of you who celebrate it. And Happy Holidays to all the rest! Thanks again for reading.


	27. Chapter 27

The moment Kylo's shuttle touches down at Snoke’s command center, he senses Rey in the Force.  Her imprint is slightly different now—oddly nostalgic—but perhaps it’s the baby’s influence.  Her presence in the Force is so large and so brilliant that it blinds his mind's eye for a moment.  All that power, all that Light.  How he has missed her.  But this is definitely not the reunion Kylo had imagined.

 

Rey, then, is why he has been summoned.  The game is up.  The ruse is uncovered.  This isn't the first time Kylo Ren has transgressed against his Master.  But it is by far the most egregious.  He knows from experience what comes next.  First comes the confrontation and then comes the punishment.  And given the gravity of this crime, Kylo Ren has no illusions about how this will play out. 

 

His has one goal now: to save Rey and the baby.  If he can accomplish that, today will be a victory.

 

And since Kylo himself doesn't have much to lose at this point, he bursts into Darth Plagueis' audience chamber at a fast clip, ripping off his mask as he goes.  Prideful Sith that he is, Kylo is not about to beg meekly.  He will meet this fight head on.  He passes a uniformed woman in handcuffs as he enters, doing a double take as he goes by.  Is that his mother?   Whatever.  He doesn't need anything to blur his focus now.  Arrogant and unrepentant, Kylo stomps in to plant his feet and roar, "Where is she?" 

 

Darth Plagueis stands before his throne.  The old Sith chuckles at his brash entrance.  "Welcome, Apprentice.  I have been expecting you." His Master actually looks pleased and that in itself is unnerving.  For it does not bode well that Darth Plagueis is looking forward to this.

 

"Where is she?" Kylo demands again.

 

But his Master will not be bullied.  "All we need is the Jedi and we can call this a family reunion," his Master quips dryly.   And really, Kylo thinks, the last thing he needs now is his sanctimonious uncle with his quiet recriminations and inscrutable face.  This situation is bad enough. 

 

“Where.  Is.  She?” Kylo grounds out.  And this time, he gets his answer. 

 

His Master casually steps aside and his voluminous trailing robe follows him to reveal Rey hidden beneath.  She lies in a crumpled heap at the foot of the Sith’s throne. 

 

"Rey—“  Instantly, Kylo is on his knees at her side, gathering her limp form into his arms.  “Oh, Rey—“  Gods, look at her.  She's alive but she's unconscious with blood trailing from her ears and nose.  Her hair is pulled back tight in that ugly trio of buns he remembers, making it easy to see the bloodstains that have dripped down her neck and chin.  It's the telltale sign that his Master has rifled through her memory and he hasn't been gentle.  Kylo sees that the right side of her face is swollen and purple.  Someone has hit her.  And hit her hard. 

 

Rey is dressed in dirty coveralls that are baggy everywhere but her pregnant belly where the fabric is pulled taut.  Kylo places a hand there, feeling through the Force the vibrant, growing life within.  This is a son, he realizes suddenly.  His son.  The next Skywalker.  The child created by his love for Rey.  If anyone survives today, he thinks, it should be this innocent child. 

 

His Master stands over them, regarding him steadily.  Kylo scowls and rages up at him, “You didn't have to be this rough!” 

 

“She is lucky to be alive.”

 

"How long has she been out?" Kylo worries as he tries to ascertain whether Rey has a broken jaw.  Probably not.  But she looks terrible.  If he can rouse her, perhaps she can heal herself. 

 

"She and the child will be fine,” his Master informs him.  “She is asleep in the Force and not from the blow.” 

 

And this is welcome news.  Kylo begins waking Rey in the Force as gently as he can.  It’s not good for someone with a head injury to sleep.  “Who hit her?” Kylo snarls.  It might have been his own troopers or maybe even the Resistance if they suspected she was a spy.  But he knows the likely suspect looms over them both now.

 

“I did,” his Master announces.  For sure enough, Kylo’s hunch is correct.   “I cannot tolerate a mouthy woman."

 

And Kylo looks up to glance across the room in time to see Leia Organa roll her eyes.  Yes, that is most definitely his mother.  No one has perfected that gesture quite like his mother. 

 

Rey is rousing slightly, fluttering her eyelids.  He strokes her unharmed cheek, wanting to be the first thing she sees when she opens her eyes. 

 

“Do you have an explanation, Apprentice?” his Master’s voice has a hard edge.  Through the Force, Kylo senses his violence barely held in check.

 

Rey’s eyes pop open now and she whispers his name, “Kylo.”  Good.  Her jaw probably isn’t broken if she can still speak.

 

“Shhh . . .” he soothes her, ignoring Snoke.  “It will be alright, Rey.  Do not interfere.  Keep quiet.  Heal yourself and don’t be afraid,” he tells her, laying her gently back to the floor.  Kylo stands to his feet now to look his Master in the eye.

 

“Well, Apprentice?” the Muun has grown impatient.

 

“I seduced her.  She is blameless,” Kylo contends.  He knows that he needs to focus the responsibility for the situation squarely on himself in order to save Rey.

 

But his Master is having none of it.  “She was plenty willing,” the Muun growls.

 

“I enchanted her.  She is blameless!”  Kylo isn’t giving up. 

 

“She was a whore for you,” his Master sneers with a curled lip.  “I saw it all in her mind, Apprentice.  You gave her quite an education.”

 

“She was a prisoner!”  Kylo hollers up at his Master.  “She wasn't in a position to give consent.  This was my doing, not hers.  She is blameless.”  

 

“Indeed,” his Master intones.  Then he shrugs.  “I will let her live to heal me and to birth the child.  It is a male child.  Another Skywalker Sith prince.  Once her utility is gone, she can join you in the Force.”

 

And this is a hopeful sign, for at least his boy will live.  His Master can't resist rearing a child of the Light and the Dark.  The first Skywalker to be born of Force-users on both sides.  Once the old Sith sees the midichlorian count, no doubt he will start plotting away.  But it’s not enough for Kylo.  Rey needs to survive too.   “Keep her,” Kylo argues.  “Let her live and use her for her Light.”  He forces himself to utter his next words.  “You will enjoy her.”

 

But the Muun Sith sniffs at this suggestion.  “I don't want your leavings, Apprentice.”  His Master steps closer, his seven-foot frame imposing even when measured against Kylo’s considerable height.  Snoke’s words ooze menace now.  “I entrust my virgin bride to you for safekeeping.  The Palpatine heiress I waited three generations to find.  And you despoil her on me!”

 

For a moment, Kylo senses his Master summon his power.  And now he thinks this is when the fight will begin.  But then, from across the room, his mother interrupts the moment.  Leia Organa’s voice is scorn. "Your virgin bride??   She's nineteen!   You dirty old Muun!"

 

Snoke favors her with a smug smile. "Welcome to the Dark Side, Princess."

 

"Rey is the Emperor's granddaughter?"  His mother speaks again and Kylo wishes she would just shut up.  He doesn’t need her interference now.  

 

"Great-granddaughter,” Snoke corrects.  And glancing to the floor, Kylo sees Rey blink with surprise at this revelation.  But she keeps her silence, as he had requested. 

 

“I knew the Force would surface Sheev's spawn eventually,” Snoke informs them.  “That is the way of the Force."

 

And now his mother shakes her head with derision.  "You’re every bit as bad as Luke said you were."

 

"No, Princess," Snoke declares with deliberately provoking glee, "I'm far worse than that."

 

Focusing on the Resistance general now, Kylo thinks his mother looks tired and old.  It's been fifteen years since he has seen her in person but she's been all over the holonet at least weekly since then.  But on the holonet, Leia Organa is habitually made up and elegant in the mold of old Senator Mothma.  A graceful, decorous but strong leader.  Not this grim woman in a rumpled uniform, her hair in a messy coronet of braids and her face devoid makeup.  Seeing her like this makes Kylo feel a tinge of sadness that he can’t quite explain.  For this formidable woman he has watched for years from afar seems much diminished in person.

 

And that momentary break in his concentration is the opportunity Snoke takes to strike.  He throws Kylo across the room with a mighty Force push.  Kylo has let down his guard and been caught. 

 

“Now, Apprentice,” Snoke decrees and he lumbers forward, “You will atone for your misdeeds.”

 

In an instant, Kylo has his sword lit in his hand and his own answering Force push has his old Master reeling.  Quickly, it becomes a battle of lightning and the audience chamber is lit with the fiery manifestation of the Dark Side.  For Darth Plagueis cannot be bothered to wield a sword.  He fights with the Force.

 

“Your feeble skills are no match for my power in the Dark Side,” old Snoke jeers as again he pushes Kylo hard into the wall.  But few things are as dangerous as a desperate man, especially when that man is Sith.  Kylo focuses all of his rage and his frustration, channeling all the strain of the last few months into the Force.  Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, Kylo has the upper hand for once.   And now decrepit old Darth Plagueis is gasping at the Dark power he struggles to repel from his Apprentice.

 

But Kylo’s brief advantage fades quickly and the toll that moment of awesome power takes costs him greatly.  Kylo staggers and then he is down, overcome now by the burning blue fire that shoots from his Master’s fingertips.  Kylo writhes as the Dark Side burns deep.  It’s an excruciating pain that he knows well.  Too much of it, and you’re a dead man.   So Kylo summons one last mighty push to escape the onslaught.  But though it diverts Snoke’s lightning, the effort allows his Master to rip the sword from Kylo’s hand with the Force.  The feeble Muun moves quickly with the assistance of Dark power.  In a blur of flapping robes, Darth Plagueis suddenly stands brandishing Kylo’s blade over Kylo’s own head.  Poised to strike.

 

From start to finish, it’s all over in a matter of two or three minutes. 

 

“You have learned much, young one.  But not enough, it seems,” Snoke gloats in his victory even while he pants from his own efforts.  His Master readies himself for the final swing. 

 

“She is mine!” a still defiant Kylo rasps out between labored breaths.  He will say his peace before he meets the Force.  “You will not take her from me without paying a price!”  Old Snoke may have him cornered and beaten to the floor, Kylo thinks, but the Force is with he and Rey in this.  And the Force will avenge them and strike back at Snoke for daring to interfere.   “Rey was sent to me by the Force!  And you stole her!”  Kylo believes this to his core.  “You stole her!” 

 

Kylo’s eyes find Rey across the room.  She’s on her feet now, looking unsteady and staring wide-eyed at the two Sith.  And she has that face—the awful look of fear and devastation that he remembers from the prisoner transport on the _Finalizer_.   Kylo nods goodbye to her—there isn’t time for anything more.  Then he glares up at Snoke.  “Beware the Force!  Rey is my destiny and only a fool fights destiny—you taught me that!  Rey and I are the will of the Force.  This child proves it.  You will regret this!”

 

The Muun’s expression is intense now and his is face inscrutable.  But he forestalls his swing.  And before his Master can respond, from off to the side Kylo hears his mother’s annoying voice again.  “That's not how the Force works,” Leia Organa scoffs.

 

Her ill-timed interruption breaks some of the tension of the moment.  For old Snoke is diverted from his task of murder.  Snoke gives his mother a patronizing look and raises an eyebrow.  His Master doesn't even deign to correct her.

 

“That's ridiculous!”  Leia Organa complains loudly.  “The Force doesn't send you a girlfriend, Ben.”  And now, Kylo really wishes Snoke had started with killing his mother first before he got around to killing him.   Because it’s extra torture just to have listen to that woman talk.

 

Leia Organa stares at him now.  And Kylo remembers that expression from his childhood.  It's disappointment, frustration and anger combined.  Her withering scorn makes him feel fifteen again and not a man long grown.  And not just any man, but a Commander of the First Order, a Skywalker Sith Apprentice, and the second most powerful man in the galaxy.  Kylo scowls and looks away.  He doesn't need this right now.    Can’t a man die with some dignity?  Without his mother mocking him?

 

As usual, Leia Organa doesn’t know when to stop.  The woman never gives up.  It’s part of what makes her so annoyingly effective.  “This is what the Dark Side teaches?” she frowns.  “Blue lightning and women?  Rey doesn’t belong to you.  The Force didn’t send her to you—“

 

“It sent you to him, didn't it?”  Kylo snaps back, gesturing to his Master. 

 

“Indeed.”  Snoke is taken aback by this comment.  Kylo sees him actually consider this.  Strangely enough, the old Muun seems to be in no hurry to kill him.  So, Kylo starts pressing his case.  “Search your feelings, Master.  You know this to be true.  You taught me to respect the Force enough to accept destiny.  For ourselves and for others.  Rey is my destiny and we could not subvert it--” 

 

“The Force made you do it??”  Leia Organa interrupts again.  “How many times did I hear that when you were a kid, Ben?  Still blaming others for your stupid decisions, I see.”

 

Kylo ignores her.  He’s focused on his Master who’s holding a sword over his head.  “The Force sent Rey to me.  And today it sent my mother to you.  Light and Dark come together for a reason—you taught me that!”

 

“Perhaps,” the old Muun ruminates a moment, even as he edges slightly forward with the lethal tip of Kylo’s sword.  He repeats his own teaching aloud now:  “Destiny is rarely subtle and usually sudden.”  Snoke looks over his shoulder at Rey and then across the room to his mother as he considers.  “Perhaps they are both for me,” he muses wickedly.  And that’s not exactly the conclusion Kylo was angling for.   

 

His mother's jaw drops at this statement and ordinarily Kylo would enjoy her dismay. Except he feels it too.  The colossal gall of this man to assume that every woman with the Force in the galaxy is intended to be his!  But such is the entitlement and ego of old Darth Plagueis the Wise, greedy Sith that he is.

 

Leia Organa opens her mouth for a retort but this time Snoke beats her to it.  “Do not presume to lecture me on the Force, Princess.  Tell me, how long did Lady Rey hide with the Resistance?  With her enormous Force imprint shining out at oblivious untrained you?  For how long was Palpatine’s Sith heiress living under very your nose?”  

 

His mother is never one to resist a challenge.  She fires back.  “How long did Rey and Ben sneak around beneath your nose, Snoke?  Don't pretend that you're all-powerful and all-knowing because you're not.”

 

Abandoning his executioner’s stance above Kylo, the Muun lumbers over to his mother.  And now Kylo thinks he will kill her instead.  And that’s fine by Kylo.  But Snoke surprises everyone by issuing an olive branch.  "Princess, I will give you the same chance I gave your brother years ago.  You are welcome to rejoin our family.  Come back to me and all will be forgiven.   I will spare you and together we can rule the galaxy as a family.  The way I intended all along.”

 

Kylo can't help but gape at this magnanimity.    After all, this is General Organa, the arch foe of the First Order and the galaxy’s foremost demagogue of democratic ideals.  Kylo fervently hopes that his Master continues in this mood of reconciliation since that's his only chance today.  Because pretty much, he's dead man.   And as Kylo begins to struggle to his feet, his Master confirms as much.  Without so much as glancing his way, Snoke calmly and without comment flings out a hand and nails him with more Force lightning.  And now Kylo is once more on the ground.

 

"I'll never join you!"  The Resistance general does not hesitate in her decision.   And that’s no surprise.  His mother has never minced words. 

 

“It is far preferable than the alternative, I assure you,” his Master warns.

 

“The Dark Side is full of promises it doesn’t keep,” Leia Organa observes pointedly.  “I saw how forgiving you were to Rey.  I know better than to trust you!”  Her eyes dart back and forth between himself and his Master.   As if she can't decide who she dislikes the most.  "The Sith destroyed my family!" she hisses.

 

"No," the Snoke counters quietly. "The Jedi destroyed your family.   Letting your mother die, stealing you from your father, raising you and your brother as left wing revolutionaries, and never bothering to develop your talent in the Force."  His Master’s voice is surprisingly patient in the face of Leia Organa’s heated words. "Our family might have ruled the galaxy together.  We still can."

 

"Go to Hell, Sith!"

 

And still, old Darth Plagueis will not be baited into anger.  "There is no Heaven, there is no Hell and there are no gods to send you there.    There is only the Force, Princess.  And me.  There will always be me."  His Master is enjoying himself, Kylo realizes.  Boasting even.  That must be why he is dragging this out.  "We are a family and we should be allies, not enemies."

 

"You are not my family!" his mother snaps back.

 

"Is this not your son?"  His Master gestures his way.  "Has Lady Rey not told you that she carries your grandchild?"  Now he gestures to Rey standing silently observing.  Then old Darth Plagueis unexpectedly sweetens the deal.  "This is your family.  If you come home to me, I will show mercy to your son.  And then we all can be together as it should be."

 

Did Kylo hear correctly?  That if his mother decamps to the First Order, he himself will be spared?  Not a chance, Kylo thinks.  But still, he hopes all the same.   

 

“We can end this war, Princess,” Snoke dangles the promise of peace.  Peace is a lie, Kylo knows.  But his foolish mother doesn’t know that.  “You and I together can bring peace to the galaxy.”

 

And when his mother doesn’t immediately reject the idea, Snoke keeps talking of the family he wants to reunite.   Using that subtle self-effacing and backhanded flattery that is so effective.  “Your father did not underestimate you, Princess.  Did you know that?  But I did.”  Snoke nods ruefully as he admits again, “I did.  When your father and I plotted together, Darth Vader was more interested in finding you than in finding your brother.  I thought Vader merely sentimental for his lost wife, but in truth my son was very astute.  He knew then what I would come to see--that you are the far more formidable opponent.”

 

“When your brother lost heart for the fight, you stuck around.  Determined to the end.  I respect that.  For I too have seen defeat and lived to fight another day.  One does not run and hide at the first sign of adversity.  You and I share the same grit, Princess.  We would be unstoppable if we shared the same cause.” 

 

His mother remains silent.  And Snoke too stops talking.  There is a long, heavy pause as she considers. 

 

"Well?" Snoke finally prompts her.  "Do you want peace?  Would you like your son to live?"

 

His mother’s brow is furrowed somewhat but she doesn't even have the good grace to look especially torn.  "I'll never join you," she repeats her earlier repudiation.  Then Leia Organa sighs with resignation as she looks over at himself.  "Ben has made his choices.  He's not a confused boy anymore.  He's a man who is accountable for his actions."

 

Kylo's hopes sink at her words.  The First Knight of the First Order, who killed younglings when he himself was still a boy and who now commits war crimes and patricide, will not die for his usual crimes.  The crimes fueled by hate and anger and executed with flourish with the help of the Dark Side.  No, the fearsome Kylo Ren will die for love.  For recklessly seducing his Master's girl.  For his forever weakness to the Light.  It is humiliating.  He would much rather have died like a Sith should--in battle or falling to the sword of his own son as the cycle of Sith ascension repeats itself.  Not like this. This is as bad as getting thrown down a reactor shaft.

 

And his own mother declines to save him. 

 

The Muun's head whips around to find Kylo as his words twist the knife.  "Your mother has forsaken you, Apprentice.  She prefers her sanctimony to her own child.  She’s her father though and through.  Willing to sacrifice her family for her ambitions.”

 

Leia Organa shifts her weight uncomfortably at this but Snoke continues on.  "I do admire your ruthlessness, Princess.  Your lack of sentiment.  You impressed me when you destroyed my Starkiller.  Not as much as when you and your brother destroyed the first Death Star, but you scored a hit nonetheless."  Snoke considers a moment.  "I suppose my Apprentice did kill that criminal husband of yours.  So, of course, you want revenge on your son.  Eye for an eye, eh?  How very Sith of you." 

 

"I hate this family," Kylo grumbles.

 

And that makes his Master laugh out loud.  Yes, the Muun is definitely enjoying himself now.  This is getting bizarre.  And this is not the way an execution should be conducted, Kylo thinks.  Swift and to the point is much preferable.  With far less talking and drawn out anticipation.   Can’t his Master just get this over with?  Poor Rey looks like she’s about to faint soon.

 

Old Snoke must be thinking along the same lines because he too wants to move things along.  "This is an offer you cannot refuse, Princess. For either you join me and I spare you and your son, or you die and he dies too.  Our family will either live together or not at all."  His words are harsh, but his tone is casual and patient still as he addresses his wayward progeny. "I grow tired of the unrelenting discord between us.  And think of all the little people it has killed," he adds as an afterthought.

 

"I'll die,” his mother announces.

 

And Darth Plagueis sighs. "Always the willing martyr." 

 

And finally now, his Master gives in to his frustration.  Railing to vent his anger at the missed opportunity.  "You squander your lives, all of you!  Your father wasted his life under Sidious and never reached his full potential.  Then, you and your brother were poisoned with Jedi dogma.  But at least you stayed in the game, Princess.  And in your own way, with your democracy," he spits out this last word, "you came close to success.  Your brother instead fled like a coward into exile.  He rules an island of one when he might have ruled it all.  And now today, you too foolishly decline to rule it all." 

 

His Master is not done castigating.  He turns back to the sprawling Kylo. "Apprentice, I had such high hopes for you. You were the one I was waiting for.  But now, I will have to wait again for another Skywalker Sith."  His Master glances in Rey's direction.  "I will have a fresh start with a new Apprentice in time.   Perhaps he will overcome all the shortcomings of his forbearers.  Maybe he will be the generation to get it right.  For we are one family, created in the Force, to rule it all.  I will have my happy ending eventually.  Just not with you, it seems.”  The Muun’s lopsided mouth is a grim line. “That is pity, Apprentice.  How you disappoint me."

 

Darth Plagueis the Wise turns back to his mother now:  "You are decided then, Princess?  You have decreed that there will be no mercy shown today?" 

 

Leia Organa nods. 

 

"Very well, then.  So be it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So probably three (?) more postings after this chapter, I think. It's all TBD and to be written. Except for the first four chapters, this fic has been written real time.
> 
> Events of this chapter and the next come from/are inspired by ideas kicked around in my short and quiet little fic A New Hope about Snoke plotting w Vader (aka "Two Siths walk into a temple and plot to rule the galaxy, except there are daddy issues because it's SW"). Snoke and Vader have a history. And in my Dark Sith AU head canon, Snoke and Luke do too.
> 
> Merry Xmas everyone!


	28. Chapter 28

Snoke stares Kylo down a moment.  His Master looks like he wants him to say something.  But Kylo isn’t going to beg for his life.  Not to his Master and certainly not to his mother.  How Kylo got himself into the position where the prisoner enemy general who also happens to be his estranged mother gets to decide his fate is baffling.  This is another of Snoke’s manipulations, he recognizes.  The man loves to pit foes against one another to watch the conflict play out.   Usually, both sides lose and Snoke ends up the winner.  That’s his favorite political strategy and Kylo himself has fallen victim to it today.

 

Why is his Master stalling?  Get this over with, Kylo thinks.  And just when the Apprentice is just about to complain, once again Darth Plagueis surprises everyone.

 

"Apprentice, before you die you will marry our scavenger.”

 

Huh?  Kylo blinks at this.

 

“We are a respectable family.  You will make the boy legitimate in the eyes of the galaxy since this has all been regrettably made somewhat public."   His Master is unexpectedly conservative now.  Who knew the old Muun was so traditional?  Enough to defer killing him?  Darth Plagueis continues and Kylo is half-shocked by all his prosaic moralizing.  "It is shameful of you to have romanced her and not made her your lady.  For a brief time, at least, you shall be her Sith."

 

"Come, my dear," Snoke beckons over an angry looking Rey.   “Come, come!” he orders impatiently when she stalls.  Then his irritated Master simply drags her over with the Force, clamping his giant Muun hand hard over hers.  "Sex, blood and moonlight is the tradition.  But we shall have to dispense with the moonlight.  And the marriage has already been consummated.  Thoroughly.  So that only leaves blood."  His poor girl is lost in this speech, Kylo sees, for Rey does not know the marriage ritual of the Sith.  "May I have your left hand, my dear?"  Tentatively, Rey reaches out.  "Do not be afraid.  You are marrying your beloved," Darth Plagueis practically coos.  "This is the happiest day of your life."  But Rey's face reveals she does not share this sentiment. 

 

"Come, Apprentice."  Battered Kylo slowly climbs to his feet and hobbles over as requested.  He doesn’t know what his old Master is up to, but he will play along.  If he will not live to see his son, then at least Kylo will make him a Skywalker.  And Rey too.

 

He and Rey join hands and repeat the simple age-old promises as his Master prompts them.  The arcane vows are simple, a restatement of the Code of the Sith.   It’s a ritual thousands of years old spoken by countless Sith lovers through the ages.  And today it’s a shotgun wedding since Rey’s pregnant and his presiding Sith Master is poised with a lit lightsaber in his hand.   His mother even moves closer to look on in repulsed fascination.

 

_I will be your passion. I will give you strength. And together, we will gain power and victory._

_The Force has brought us together, the Force will bind us, and the Force will set us free._

These are their last moments together, Kylo realizes.  And Rey does too.  She is looking at him with tears in her eyes and it threatens to unman him. Only now, at the end, does Kylo realize how much he loves this woman.  Their marriage should be a happy event, a new beginning for them and the start of a new generation of Skywalkers.  But instead it is a formality, one final item to check off his to do list, a meaningless gesture for a child he will not live to see.  Witnessed today by the mother who doesn't love him and the father figure who is about to execute him. 

 

“How lovely,” his Master’s voice drips with sarcasm.  “I now pronounce you Lady and Sith. 

 

You are his and he is yours. Together forever in the Force.  Until I kill him, that is.”

 

Ignoring the Muun, Kylo boldly steps forward to take Rey in his arms.  One last time, he claims Rey’s lips for his own. It is a searing kiss full of apology, regrets and missed opportunities.  She deserved better than this.  Better than to be left a widow, pregnant and alone at the mercy of this wily Muun.  Plucked from her life of starvation and deprivation to be deposited into the clutches of the Sith.   A pawn in the plots of Darth Plagueis the Wise.

 

Rey is the enemy who became an ally, the one woman in the galaxy who Kylo could not have but also could not resist.  A lady of the Light who for a few brief months was everything to him.  If he could, Kylo would have given her everything.   But now Rey will be one more name on the long list of victims attributable to the Skywalker clan.  For everyone who has ever loved or been loved by a Skywalker ends badly. 

 

"Enough!"  His irate Master throws Kylo hard into the wall with the Force, wrenching he and Rey apart in the process.  The Muun grabs for Rey's left hand and forces her palm open.  Then he sears a slashing burn into it with his lit sword.  Kylo winces as Rey cries out in pain.  She stands there, staring unblinking at her deeply burned and raw palm.

 

"Congratulations," his Master sneers.  "You are marked for the Sith."

 

And now his Master stalks over to where Kylo struggles to his feet.   Darth Plagueis doesn't bother to slash his palm.  With one expert swing of his sword, his Master takes his left hand completely off at the wrist.  Kylo is a man long used to hurts, but this is something new altogether.  He gasps at the pain that takes his breath away.  Fuck!  That hurts!  That really, really hurts!  Vaguely, he hears Rey cry out his name.  Kylo struggles to master the pain and to refocus his mind.   Rey is at his side now, on her knees as she reaches to comfort him.  Summoning the Force, she reaches out to siphon off his intense pain with her healing Light.   

 

Kylo looks over at Rey's frightened face.  Purple jaw, bloody face and all, she is beautiful.  Love shines out from amid the tears in her eyes even as her Light shines out to his mind in the Force.  She loves him.  He knows this without her saying it.  Here is the only woman who has ever truly loved him, he thinks.  Without conditions and expectations, without demands or requirements.  Everyone in his life has always had an agenda for him.  They wanted him to do things or to be things.   From his parents to his uncle to his Master.   All except Rey, who only wanted him to be himself. 

 

This is how it was always going to end.  In tragedy and loss.  He knew it, she knew it.  And, truth be told, he and Rey had more happiness in their short time together than most of the Skywalkers.  More than Snoke and his Force-blind Jedi wife he and Rey had seen bickering on the holochron, more than his war torn, star-crossed grandparents, more than his habitually unhappy and ill-matched parents.  And certainly more than his lonely and bitter uncle.  And so even though their love today ends in shameful defeat, Kylo knows that he has been luckier than most.   For all the outward power and glory of the Chosen Ones, theirs have been mostly beleaguered lives. 

 

He has only one regret--that he will not live to see his son.

 

His Master stands over them both now, his sword lit and ready to carry out his sentence for the condemned. 

 

Off to the side, out of the corner of his eye, Kylo sees his mother watching.  Is she gloating?  Probably.

 

“Goodbye, Apprentice.  Prepare to meet the Force.” 

 

"I love you."  Rey says this loud and clear and he knows how much courage lies behind this statement.  For his abandoned girl has never known love.   While she craves love,  Kylo knows secretly it terrifies her as well.   Love is always a leap of faith, but never more so than for this lonesome girl who finds it hard to trust.

 

"I know,” Kylo whispers back quickly.   There is no time for anything more.  He holds her steady gaze as Darth Plagueis repositions his sword.  Rey will be last thing he sees and her healing Light will be the last thing he feels, and that's comforting.

 

“No!  No--do not!”

 

It's his mother.  Looking white faced and unsure of herself for possibly the first time ever.  "Don't kill him!  Please, don’t kill him!" 

 

"He must pay for his treachery," his Master decrees. Then he scowls in her direction. "You yourself decided," he reminds Leia Organa.   “This was your decision.”

 

"I take it back," his mother breathes out.  "Spare him!  Please!"

 

"Do you accept my terms?"

 

His mother falters.   Kylo feels Rey stiffen beside him.  But she says nothing.  Rey like himself watches silently as the drama that will decide his fate plays out.

 

"If you are not with me, then you are my enemy," the Muun warns Leia Organa.  Because his Master is a Sith and he deals in absolutes.

 

His mother starts backpedaling fast now.  "I don't control the Resistance. They will not surrender just because I am captured."

 

His Master dismisses this.  “You know how they think and you know how they fight.  You are their celebrated matriarch.  The conscience of their cause of liberty.   You alone among them have the moral authority to bring peace.”

 

And now it becomes a negotiation.  “What do you want from me?” his mother rasps. 

 

“To join me and the First Order,” his Master begins setting forth his terms.  “You will help to broker a truce. You will not portray yourself as captured.  You are persuaded that the war needs to end for the good of all.  You are reconciled to a new joint path forward to peace.”

 

“You mean a surrender!” 

 

Darth Plagueis just smiles.

 

“You want me to betray everything I have worked for my whole life!”  Leia Organa’s not going for it.

 

“Yes,” the Muun replies simply.  “We will call it a truce and you may claim victory on a few issues as you agree to work to restore order.  I will give you some concessions here and there. I will even give you a Senate, Princess.  You may have some limited democracy and I will let you preside over it as you wish.  But once more the Sith will rule the galaxy.  And we will have peace.”

 

His mother blanches at these words. 

 

“It will save him,” his Master reminds her.

 

“And cost me everything!” Leia Organa retorts. 

 

“Yes.  You would leave your past life behind and begin anew with us.  And bygones will be bygones, Princess.”

 

“I—I—“  His speechifying mother is at a loss for words for once.  And that’s gratifying for Kylo to see. 

 

And now his Master glances down to Rey who has her arms wrapped around him protectively as best as her big belly will allow.   Darth Plagueis considers a long moment.  And suddenly the consequence of this hasty marriage dawns on Kylo.  For there is no divorce for the Sith.  And so if Kylo lives, then the Muun loses Rey as his lady of the Light. 

 

Darth Plagueis knows this too, and now his deal has another condition for his mother.  His Master turns back to Leia Organa to drop this bombshell.  

 

"To be clear, Princess, if he lives, then you rejoin our family and support our cause.  And you yourself are mine."

 

"W-What??"  His mother’s face darkens and she steps back.  And now for the third time today, Kylo is certain that he's about to die.

 

Old Snoke starts warming to the idea.  "I will treat you well, Princess.  You need not fear me.  You are more my counterpart than the scavenger anyway.   Not a foolish girl, but a woman of experience and judgment.  Not an unschooled, uncouth waif but a princess and a leader.   A woman of stature who is widely admired.  Yes,” Darth Plagueis decides. “You are a far more fitting consort."

 

“Consort??  With you??  That's ridiculous!”  his mother scoffs.

 

“It is an age-old tradition to unify a regime through marriage,” the Sith Master reminds her. 

 

His Master steps closer now and raises a graceful hand to stroke at his cringing mother's cheek.  But of course, he has a saber in the other hand.  Trust it to old Darth Plagueis to woo a woman under threat of death.  Kylo watches as his Master circles his prisoner slowly, looking her up and down.  He is appraising his mother.  And, well, it's not in the manner of a grandfather-in-the-Force.   "No longer young, but beautiful still.  So dignified and accomplished."  The Muun smiles suggestively down at his prisoner. "I do so love a lady with the Light."

 

Is his Master flirting?? 

 

"That's my mother," Kylo growls out from the floor.   And he’s not really sure why he’s objecting, since it will only get him killed.  But this is weird and uncomfortable.  It's not a blood relationship, but still.  It's weird.  And while Kylo is no fan of Leia Organa, she is still his mother. 

 

“Since she is your mother,” Snoke observes pointedly to Kylo, “I should not have to worry about you flashing your power at her and kissing her senseless in my training room.  Am I correct?”

 

“Luke will kill you,” his mother vows softly.

 

The Muun shrugs.  He’s unconcerned.  “The Jedi has had two chances so far and failed.  But I will take the risk.  If he makes you a widow, you have my blessing to remarry.  Perhaps you can find another handsome criminal for your next husband.”

 

And now his Master changes tactics.  Suddenly, he sounds very sympathetic and understanding to his mother.  “All the men in your life have let you down, have they not?   The husband who walked away, the brother who hid away, and the son who ran away.  I will do none of those things, my dear, I assure you.  And I am the richest, most powerful man in the galaxy.  I can give you whatever you wish, my dear.  You will want for nothing.”

 

Risky move that it is, Kylo can't quite smother his snort.  For the old lecher Snoke seems serious.  And the outraged look on his mother's face is priceless.  This situation can’t get more ridiculous.  His laugh catches his Master’s attention.  Kylo braces himself for another shot of Force lightning.  But instead a leering Snoke tells Kylo man-to-man, “This is war, my boy.  And to the victor go the spoils.”

 

“I won’t marry you!  I'd rather be chained to a Hutt!” his mother declares hotly.

 

“You have been chained to a Hutt,” Kylo reminds her.

 

“Then I speak from experience!” Leia Organa retorts.

 

“I bought my fourth wife off a Hutt,” Snoke informs everyone.  “Pilar and I were married decades.  It was a very successful union all in all and we had very little in common.  So this will work, Princess, never fear.  We will be happy.  You and I have much in common.” 

 

“We do not!”  Leia Organa bellows. 

 

But in a way, Snoke is right, Kylo thinks.  And in the moment, all he can think is that this sort of bizarre maneuvering would only happen among the Skywalkers.  Among the clan of the Chosen Ones for whom everything personal is political.  Because when you're a Skywalker with the magical Force, your choices in life are surprisingly limited.  And stark. 

 

His mother seems to agree.  "I hate this family," she complains. 

 

"If you did, we wouldn't be having this negotiation," Snoke reminds her. "This is your free choice, Princess."   His Master marches over to once again lift high his sword above Kylo's head.  "Now choose!" he orders.

 

Kylo knows that he’s a goner.  There’s no way his mother will ever agree to this ridiculous proposal.  It’s a political union and a personal union to a man who is an anathema to her. 

 

So Kylo turns back to Rey, unwilling to look away from her now in these final moments.  She is his wife but soon his widow.  He is memorizing her face.  Hoping that through the Force he will be able to watch over her in death.  To help her the way that sly bastard Kenobi had once helped his uncle.  For damn, how much Kylo regrets that he won't be there to help her raise their son. 

 

And now Rey breaks her silence. "Please," Rey appeals directly to his mother.  "If you ever loved him, save him now!  Han Solo died for his son.  And he's all you have left.” 

 

"He's not worth it." His mother's words are biting. 

 

Rey persists.  "You know he is!  And there is good in him.  I know it.  You know it too.  That’s why you sent your husband to bring him home--" 

 

"Decide!"  His Master wants an answer. 

 

But Rey keeps arguing.  “Killing him won’t end this war, General.  Without you, without him, there will still be war.  Choose him, choose peace!”

 

“This is surrender, not peace!” his mother retorts. 

 

“Maybe.  But maybe not.  You won’t know if you don’t take the chance.   At least this way, you can be at the table when the decisions are made.   You might have some influence.  People admire you.”

 

“Decide!”  Snoke is fast losing patience. 

 

There is a long moment of tense silence.

 

"I accept."  Leia Organa's voice sounds so weary, so defeated.  Completely devoid of enthusiasm. "I accept," she repeats softly as she hangs her head.

 

Kylo exhales the breath he has been holding and looks up in true amazement to find his mother's eyes.  He sees anger and resentment there.   And while that's not surprising, it is still disappointing.  She might save his life, but she does not forgive him.

 

His Master turns to Kylo in an aside.  “Take a lesson here, Apprentice.  Women are easily manipulated with their children.  It's a time honored ploy and the chief reason they make poor Sith.  For even the most devious and fierce among them is weak for her child.  And that is how it should be.”  Snoke nods over at his mother with approval.   “Well done, Princess.”

 

And now, finally, his Master extinguishes his sword and tosses it at Kylo’s feet.  “Such a happy day this is.  At long last, my children come home to me and my family is reunited.  Today I have gained a daughter and soon I will gain a wife.”  The Muun has a devious grin now and looks strangely satisfied.

 

And that has Kylo suspicious.

 

“When did you know?” Kylo fires off the question at his Master.  “When did you know about Rey and I?”

 

The Muun shrugs.  “I forget the exact date now, for it has been many years.  At least eighty years, I would guess.”

 

“What??” Kylo and Rey say this in unison.

 

“My Shan—my Jedi wife--saw you both in the Force long before you were born.  I knew this would happen.”

 

“So Rey is destined for me,” Kylo speaks his thoughts aloud.  “I was right.”

 

“Yes, Apprentice, you were right all along,” Darth Plagueis admits with deferential nod.   

 

And now Kylo is livid.  He awkwardly struggles to his feet, gritting his teeth as every slight move jars his left arm and the cauterized nerves scream where they used to meet his hand.  Rey’s Light can take away some, but not all, of the pain.  “So all this time, you were just fucking with me??” Kylo accuses.  His voice quickly becomes a hoarse roar.  “You claimed Rey for your own as a test?  To set me up to fail?” 

 

Kylo Ren has never felt this full of rage before.  Rage for the months of needless worry, stress and heartbreak over Rey and his son.  Rage for the blatant manipulation by his Master.  Rage for the body count that had accumulated among the First Order and the Resistance for this pointless ruse.  And rage for his left hand.  For his fucking left hand that lays on the floor meters away from him in a gruesome tableau. 

 

And most infuriating of all, his wily Master is unrepentant.  “I considered it to be an experiment.  To see how far fate could be influenced.  To see if I could subvert it.  The junction between free will and the Force has long interested me.   And you were warned, Apprentice.   You knew perfectly well that you were betraying me the moment you took her in your arms.  You are weak for the Light, Apprentice.”

 

“As are you!”  Kylo bites back.  “I’m going to kill you—“ he vows as he stumbles forward towards the Muun, calling his weapon to his right hand in the process.

 

But his Master is unimpressed by the threat he poses.  “You tried today and see how well that went.  Better luck next time, Apprentice.”  The Muun crosses his arms and looks down at his pupil now.  “I had not fully decided to let you live when you arrived.  I thought I would play it by ear and see what your life would buy me.”  His Master glances over at his new intended bride, giving his mother a reproachful look.  “You took your sweet time about saving him, Princess.  I had to resort to marrying them in a tearful, touching moment to tug at your heartstrings.  You are a hard woman where your son is concerned, Princess.  I rather admire that cool detachment.  But it was most inconvenient today.”

 

“I will kill you for this!” Kylo sneers.  “One day, I will kill you!”

 

But again, the Muun is unconcerned.  “Your life has won me peace and the company of your lovely mother.  And you today have married your beloved.  Plus, we shall all welcome a child soon.  Such a happy day for our family.”  He favors Kylo with a hard look now as he reminds him:  “You lost your hand when you might have lost your head, Apprentice.  I have shown great forbearance today.” 

 

“Your ruse was very effective.  You impressed me, Kylo Ren.  For when I felt Rey conceive in the Force, I came to tell her the good news.  I had intended to take her to my temple on Naboo to marry her.  This son in the Force would be legitimate in the way Vader never was.  But I arrive to an exploding TIE fighter that is presumably her.  The future lost and the Light dimmed.  And my planned annunciation made moot.”

 

“Son in the F-Force?”  Rey stutters.  And she meets Kylo’s eyes with a horrified look.  And now he too has a bad feeling about this. 

 

Darth Plagueis nods.  “My Shan foresaw this all long ago.  So I knew that you would erroneously assume that the child was yours.  I knew I had to claim Rey immediately before you did something rash.  Which, as it turns out, you did.”

 

“What are you saying?” Kylo demands. 

 

And now the Muun looks especially smug.  “I am saying that the child is a Skywalker, but it is not yours Kylo Ren.” 

 

“What do you mean that's not my child?” Kylo hisses.

 

“The child is mine,” Darth Plagueis announces proudly.  “Another Sith son created in the Force.   You may raise him as your own.  Name him Anakin.  We shall try again with that name.   Your grandfather had such promise but Sheev was a horrible master.”

 

“Oh my Gods!”  Rey is shaking with outrage beside him.

 

And his obnoxious Master can’t resist one of his preachy platitudes.  “There are no Gods, my dear.  There is only the Force.” 

 

“What the fuck did you do to Rey?” Kylo demands.  And now he lights the saber he’s holding in his hand.  He’s in no shape to fight again, but that won’t stop him from trying.

 

“Just a bit of Dark Side alchemy.  Apprentice, sadly your wife is infertile.  Alas, the rigors of her former life have taken their toll. It might still be remedied, but Smath and his specialists were not optimistic.”  

 

“You had no right!” Rey screeches.  She looks absolutely devastated by this news.  But it’s true.  Kylo can feel the truth of his Master’s words through the Force. 

 

“I have the power, dear lady, and that gives me the right.  And so you will give birth to your husband’s great-uncle in the Force.  We are an incestuous bunch, are we not?   But there is no blood relation to concern us.  And the galaxy at large will think the child to be yours, Apprentice.” 

 

“I don't believe this!”  Rey is clutching protectively at her belly.  Kylo puts his throbbing left arm around her shoulders to steady her.  He can’t tell if Rey is going to faint or try to Force push his Master through the wall. 

 

Snoke rejects their dismay.  “You should be thanking me.  I give you the child you would not otherwise have and both the Skywalker and Palpatine lines merge and continue. A win-win, don't you think?” 

 

“No, I don’t!”  Kylo roars.  And he attempts a swing at the old Muun but it is predictably ineffective.   Today, he is beaten.  And both he and his Master know it.  The Muun doesn’t even bother to attack.  He merely steps out of the way in defense. 

 

“I want no part of this!” Leia Organa announces with utter contempt.  “I want nothing more to do with you, Snoke!”

 

The Muun gives his mother a patient look.  “My dear, you may not renege on a deal with a Sith.  Only the Sith gets to alter the bargain, not you.”  Kylo watches as his Master walks over to wave his mother’s handcuffs open with the Force.  They rattle to the ground and echo in the cavernous chamber.  “You no longer need those,” he tells his mother.  “Do not be alarmed, fair Princess, I will not rush you to the altar.  I have learned from my past mistakes.   I will give you time to get used to this idea before I take you to my temple and slash your hand in the moonlight.  In the meantime, our Rey will heal me.  She will make me handsome again, Princess.  Never fear.” 

 

“I won’t heal you!”  Rey rejects this immediately.

 

“Oh, yes, you shall,” Snoke informs her.  “If you value your husband’s life, you will heal me to the best of your abilities, dear lady.” 

 

At his side, his stricken Rey swallows hard and nods. 

 

“Very well, then.  We are all agreed,” Snoke announces.

 

“Someone needs to kill you,” Leia Organa hisses.  And this is exactly what Kylo is thinking. 

 

Wily old Darth Plagueis scoffs this threat.  “Many have tried, my dear.  None have succeeded.” 

 

“I will succeed,” Kylo vows.   “Next time, Master, I will succeed.  I will have my revenge.”

 

“You are welcome to try, Apprentice.  Any time,” the Muun accepts the challenge.  And he takes no offense.  For Darth Plagueis knows that anger and revenge are the way of the Sith. 

 

Three months later, General Organa stands before the cameras next to a newly revealed and significantly healed Supreme Leader.  Together they announce a surprise peace proposal that is heavy on optics and light on substance.  And that's pure Darth Plagueis.  Because the substance is sobering:   the First Order and its policies will prevail.  

 

A few diehards in the Resistance vow to fight on, but after some convincing the galaxy at large breathes a sigh of relief.   Thirty years of war has people weary and the Starkiller has people wary.  So the announcement of a path forward out of the intransigence of the past has popular appeal that gains momentum which builds over time. 

 

His Master is the one to announce the new Galactic Senate. It's both a nod to the past and a whiff of democracy in an otherwise autocratic regime.  This time around, the Outer Rim worlds will have more representation in a nod to the power base of the First Order.  But the Core and the home systems of the New Republic will have their own seat at the table. 

 

Best of all, the unelected Supreme Chancellor of the new Senate will be the former Resistance General Leia Organa herself, the heroine of the Rebellion and the matriarch of the New Republic.  It's a deft move that convinces the galaxy of the Supreme Leader's sincerity.  And so few notice that the Senate has very weak constitutional powers and little true authority.  But those who do notice take comfort that Leia Organa is in charge.  She has many years of legislative experience and she won't get pushed around, the pundits argue.  We can trust her.   

 

Leia Organa embraces her role in the First Order's new regime.  And, in return, Snoke permits his mother much freedom as she crisscrosses the galaxy for her fledgling Senate.  By all means, form all the committees, task forces and commissions you wish, his Master tells his mother.  And while Kylo knows she bristles at this condescension, he also knows her well enough to know that she will take what little authority she has been given and make the most of it.  Leia Organa has long been a woman who makes her presence felt.  Marriage to Snoke hasn’t changed that, he suspects. 

 

The still out-of-favor Hux pulls the short straw and gets the role of liaison to the new Senate.   It's amusing to watch Hux stand and bow in deference when his mother enters a room.  The general kowtows slavishly to the Princess he once harangued as a nasty woman.  Politics surely does make strange bedfellows, Kylo laughs later privately with Rey. 

 

His mother is now universally referred to as Princess Organa since his Master demands her general title be abandoned as a reminder of the past war.  Gone too are her Resistance battle fatigues.  Now his dignified mother sweeps around gowned in flowing stately robes like her long-ago mentor Mon Mothma.  And she is every inch a princess in appearance, with her chin in the air and her trademark elaborate hair.  His Master seems to have figured out how much his mother loves jewelry, for Princess Organa now sports some eye-catching bling.   Her marriage to Snoke is not publicly known so she is not acknowledged as the Queen of the Galaxy.  But she certainly looks and acts the part.

 

He himself is Darth Ren now, a fully trained Sith lord.  But forever the Apprentice.  And while the legions of First Order flunkies address him as Lord Ren, his mother persists on calling him Ben.  Like he's fourteen again and being nagged to do his homework.  But whatever.

 

Kylo refuses to feel guilty about the way things have turned out.  By rights, his mother might have been executed as the enemy general.  That she lived--and did so saving him--worked out well for all involved, he thinks.  But he doesn't know this firsthand, for Kylo has little contact with his mother outside of ceremonial appearances.  Kylo has no idea how the marriage of Leia Organa to his Master actually functions behind closed doors and he doesn't care to know.   No doubt there is much conflict between Darth Plagueis the Wise and his new sixth wife.   But you can’t say that the old Muun didn’t know what he was getting into when he concocted this bizarre arrangement.

 

But through it all, his mother holds her head high.   And Leia Organa at least ostensibly doesn't seem to be unhappy.   In public, she treats his Master with an elegant courtesy she must have learned years ago from her aristocratic upbringing on Alderaan.  Snoke in turns favors his mother with courtly respect, treating her like a fragile doll.  He will tolerate no disrespect for his former enemy.  The galaxy thinks him to be leading by example on how to reconcile the deep political divisions that still exist.  But Kylo knows his Sith Master sees his granddaughter-in-the-Force-turned-wife as an extension of himself.   And no one disrespects a Skywalker to Darth Plagueis the Wise. 

 

Kylo himself is the only one who refuses to participate in this charade of congeniality.  Snoke does not press the issue.  And Kylo becomes something of a secret hero among his fighting men as the one leader among the First Order elite who won't give into the forgive-and-forget fiction of the new regime.  And that's fitting really.  For Kylo Ren is Sith.  He knows that peace is a lie.  And more and more he suspects that his veteran campaigner mother knows it too.  If not, then she will surely learn.

 

It's ironic that his very democratic mother gets to rule the galaxy at long last.  All those decades of insurgent war didn't win her this chance, it took Snoke to hand it to her.   But maybe that's how it was always going to be.  For the puppet master Sith controls far more than anyone realizes.  Including his longtime Apprentice.  Mysterious are the far reach and awesome power of the eternal Muun Sith.

 

His enigma uncle stays away.  And quite frankly that shocks Kylo.  He doesn't know what to make of it. For Luke Skywalker is no coward.  He's the victorious pilot from the suicide raid on the Death Star.  The man who surrendered to Darth Vader willingly and then took down an Empire.  A man who twice confronted Darth Plagueis and lived to tell of it.  No one seems to know what Uncle Luke thinks and what he is up to.  But now that he is largely irrelevant, his Master no longer cares.  Rarely does the Muun even reference the Last Jedi these days.  Skywalker has gone from an existential threat to irrelevant in barely a year now that his sister has accepted the offer that he himself had turned down decades before.

 

Kylo hates his mechanical hand.  It still feels odd and painful at times as the synthetic nerve endings grow to knit with his own.  Maybe he should look at it as a badge of honor in the tradition of Lord Vader, who had four damaged limbs.  But every time Kylo looks at it, he is reminded of his uncle and that just pisses him off.  And while Rey has never once said anything about it, he knows that she finds it odd to feel a caress from his left hand.  Once or twice he has reached over in bed without thinking and startled her with his metal touch. 

 

Kylo hadn't even gotten out of the bacta tank to receive his replacement hand when old Milo had arrived to find Rey at his bedside.  Lady Ren, the Master wishes you to receive your inheritance, the old Sith servant had begun.  For it turns out that Snoke owns Palpatine's old ancestral country estate on Naboo.  It's a picturesque, patrician place that has been meticulously kept up all these years because his Master had used it for his periodic pilgrimages to the Sith temple nearby.   This is yours, Lady Ren, Milo had informed Rey.   And so on Naboo is where the Ren family makes its first home.  It's a far preferable option to either the _Finalizer_ or Vader's private retreat on the lava hell world that is Mustafar. 

 

But for all the convenience, privacy and luxury of the Naboo estate, all that matters to Kylo is that Rey is there.  For wherever his wife is he will call home.  She is his lady and he is her Sith.  And if the price for that happiness is his left hand, then so be it.   Rey in his arms every night and across the table from him every morning is worth everything to Kylo Ren.  And it's far more than he had ever dreamed possible.  

 

His mother visits Rey and baby Anakin on Naboo from time to time as they continue the strange arms-length friendship they had struck up at the Resistance.  Kylo is fine with that so long as no one expects him to participate.

 

Rey surprises him about the baby.  Kylo himself rages for the remaining months until the child is born.  Angry that his Master would dare such a thing.  But after some adjustment, Rey takes it in stride.  All life is precious, she tells him with heartfelt conviction.  This child is innocent of the Dark magic that conceived him.  It's not what I expected and not what I would have wanted, but this is my family, Rey tells him through tears.  All I have ever wanted was a family to love who will love me back.  And in the face of all that hopeful acceptance, Kylo agrees to drop the issue.   He takes a page out of Leia Organa’s playbook in this, for if Kylo cannot change things then he will find a way to accept them and make the best of the situation.  Especially when Chief Healer Smath takes him aside to tell him that this is the only son he will ever have with Rey as the biological mother.

 

Nevertheless, some small part of Kylo still seethes every time he looks at his supposed son cradled in his doting wife's arms.  Someday someone should kill that fucking Muun, he thinks.  For this and for so many other crimes his Sith Master has committed during the past centuries. 

 

Will this baby grow to one day stand at his foster father's side as together they make old Darth Plagueis pay for his sins and meet the Force?  Or will this child be the one to kill him and take his supposed father’s place at his Master's side as the new Apprentice?   Only time will tell who the favorite son will be--the great grandson or the new son.

 

And Kylo wonders about the day the child will learn the truth.  About the day old Darth Plagueis will take aside young Anakin Ren to tell him 'I am your father' and promise the boy the galaxy.   For if there is a Skywalker family tradition, this is it.  Will the cycle of conflict repeat itself in yet another generation? Will Kylo himself fall to the patricide that mars his family tree?  For it is as dangerous to be a Skywalker father as it is to be a Skywalker son.  Only time will tell what the Force has planned.   Kylo takes comfort in the knowledge that his Master's wife long ago had foreseen this all in the Force.  He takes comfort in the knowledge that this is the way it is supposed to be.  For this is destiny at work amid the Skywalkers.  Kylo himself has no idea how this next generation of drama will turn out.  But he suspects old Darth Plagueis does. 

 

However it turns out, he has his Rey.  Their love has weathered a war, a separation, and a Sith Master.  Theirs is a lasting, true happiness.  And Kylo Ren knows that makes him the luckiest of the Chosen Ones by far.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story notes to come in a subsequent posting


	29. Story Notes

_Immune to the Light_ is a story idea I kicked around for a long time before I actually wrote it.  Writing my first fan fic _You Need a Teacher_ this time last year was a great learning experience and I wanted to take another crack at Reylo immediately after I finished that fic.  That next fic was supposed to be _Immune to the Light_.  But then _Fulcrum_ happened and it spawned a few more spin-off tales as I kept fleshing out my Sith worldview and history.  I never got around to writing this story until now. 

There were a couple of reasons for that delay.  Chiefly, when you start writing an AU to your own AU, you have to ask yourself as a writer:  Have I just run out of good ideas?  Will anyone want to read this same old stuff rehashed again?  Is this story idea just my own tacit admission that I got it wrong the first time?  The truth is that I am rather fully committed to my SW Sith worldview as an author.  It keeps coming out in slightly different depictions for different Sith in different tales.  But the broad commonalities, conflicts, themes and many of the details remain consistent.  But even within this construct, I think there is room for various versions of the same love story.   Did I get it wrong in _Fulcrum/Part Two_?    Maybe in some ways, but overall I don’t think so.  I own those stories, even with all of their gratuitous excesses, at times clunky writing and other flaws.  I prefer to think that I got it especially dark in _Fulcrum/Part Two._   And that there is a Sith version of Kylo Ren and Rey’s story that is not quite so bleak but is still believably Dark Side and it’s called _Immune to the Light_.

My concept of this story morphed a bit.  Originally, this was to be a Beauty and the Beast tale.  The beautiful captive girl meets a beast and falls in love and that love changes her and changes the beast.  Yes, readers, this was to be my Kylo Ren redemption tale (vestiges of that idea remain here and there in this tale).  And the crux of the conflict was to be for Rey to determine who was the Beast—Kylo or Snoke?   I had it all worked out and then I decided to write the shockingly dark and completely unredeemed Kylo in _Fulcrum_.  When I eventually came back to this story idea, I had jettisoned the redemption plot altogether.  Now, it was to be a love triangle based loosely on the Tristan and Isolde tale.  The knight Tristan brings the fair maiden Isolde to his king for marriage, except along the way the knight and the maiden fall in love beneath the king’s nose and begin an illicit affair. 

The ending for this fic comes from a short under-the-radar fic I have in progress called _A New Hope_.   It's the story of a frustrated and unhappy man named Skywalker who meets a Sith who tells him 'I am your father. Join me and together we can rule the galaxy.'    Think you already know this story?  You don't.  Because the Skywalker here is Anakin Skywalker and the Sith here is Snoke.  In _A New Hope_ , Vader is very interested in finding his daughter (maybe even more interested in her than in finding Luke) and Snoke keeps downplaying Leia.  Why?  It’s not set forth in the story, but you know why--Snoke likes the ladies, especially the ladies with the Light.  And he has plans for Vader's little princess that Daddy might not approve of.   We all know Snoke doesn't get the girl--Han Solo does.  At least, not until many years later when _Immune to the Light_ comes along. 

Worried about poor Leia?  Well, Snoke isn't going to hurt her.  And, if you've read _Fulcrum Part Two_ , you know Snoke is reasonably handsome after Rey heals him.  Plus, he’s good in bed.  This might not be what Leia wanted, but there are worse things than being the sixth wife.  Poor Leia Organa came to a very bad end in _Fulcrum_ and all of her scenes were filtered through the somewhat warped viewpoint of Kylo and Rey.  Some commenters to that story found that version of Leia to be very out of character because it all felt so dark ( _Fulcrum_ is very dark). This time, I wanted to write a different Leia with a better ending. 

I don't see Kylo and Leia reconciling ultimately after this tale.  It's more like they grow to tolerate and respect one another. Snoke stands in the middle as mediator and his position as Sith Master keeps Kylo in check.  This ending puts most of the Skywalker clan back together again on the same side, which is something I have wanted to do in a story.  Leia Organa has to be coerced into this role because I can't ever see her doing this willingly.  Not after all that has happened.   She is a very principled person and won’t easy compromise.

I wanted this story to be more romantic and earnest than _Fulcrum_.  So this story uses less profanity.  It has none of the snarky humor of _Fulcrum_ and it has less dark material overall.  The relationship between Kylo and Rey is less contentious and less sarcastic than _Fulcrum_.  And certainly, less violent.  There is plenty of intensity and, I hope, chemistry.  But there are no screaming matches or bitter betrayals.   When Kylo takes off his mask in private for Rey in this story, he is surprisingly normal.  That’s part of his charm.

There is no immediate compelling attraction in this story between Kylo and Rey (except for Kylo’s attraction to Rey’s Light).    I’m not big on love at first sight.  It’s far too physical to be lasting, in my opinion.  And, it can be kind of creepy.  (That’s why I gave Snoke the love at first sight meeting with his Jedi wife Shan in _The Fifth Wife_.  The ‘I see you, I want you, I love you, you’re mine’ seemed to perfectly fit creepy old Snoke).  Of course, there can be instant attraction between two people.  But I’m of the view that attraction tends to grow over time.  The guy you think is cute can become irresistible after you’ve shared dinner and drinks a few times and realize how much you think alike.   And then all the quirky things about him become endearing and cute and not flaws.  A few dates in, you’re crazy about him.  Because knowing the total package of him is way better than just knowing he looks hot.  I truly think that a lot of attraction and sexual chemistry is mental.  

This is a very different version of Kylo from _Fulcrum_.  He’s less cynical and more idealistic.  Much less entitled.  Like the Kylo of _You Need a Teacher_ , this Sith Apprentice doesn’t think he’s on the wrong side.  He sincerely thinks he’s a reformer whose time has come.  Kylo believes that he is justified in his war because he is saving the galaxy and helping people in the long run.  Yes, the road to Hell is definitely paved with good intentions.  And, well, I think a lot of bad guys at least start out thinking they are good.   Anakin's speech to Padme at the end of Ep 3 has some of this flavor. He's making things the way he wants them to be, the way he thinks they should be.  Here’s a bad guy thinking he’s going to use the Dark Side to do good things (save his wife, save the galaxy).  I wanted to depict Kylo Ren in this same vein.   It gives him a heroic quality at least in his own mind.

And because this Kylo is so earnest, he’s not the cocky, proud and obnoxious asshole of _Fulcrum_.  This Kylo doesn’t lack for confidence, but he doesn’t project it as much.  Also, his reflexive move is not necessarily violence.  The man is cautious and considered for the most part.  This Kylo thinks about things, but he wouldn’t necessarily draw the same conclusions that you and I would.  Is this Kylo a monster too?  He isn’t completely lacking of empathy or understanding.  He isn’t exactly evil.  More like misguided with the willingness and ability to act on his misguided beliefs. 

So . . . how do you make a bad guy appealing?  This is the writer’s challenge with every dark Reylo tale.  In this story, I made the other guys—Snoke and Hux--worse by comparison.  Hux is his _Force Awakens_ snarky jerk self in this fic.  He’s less of a character than a plot device in most scenes.  And his relationship to Rey is not as fleshed out and complicated as it was in _Fulcrum_.  Snoke is always my ultimate bad guy and this story is no exception.  Snoke is fucking with Kylo at the beginning of this fic.  Snoke knows of his weakness for the Light and he’s testing him.  Snoke does stuff like that. 

Another way to make the bad guy more appealing is to muddy the waters about whether he’s truly on the bad side.  So in this fic, I really amped up the idea of showing the other side/bad guys of the SW universe.  _Force Awakens_ does this a bit with the character of Finn to show us how not everyone in the First Order is evil.   And I think that's probably not far from the truth in many war situations. Is everyone on the opposing side bad? Probably not.  Is it any better if you do bad things believing that you are right?  Maybe. 

This takes me to the US election allusions that are peppered throughout this fic.  These political ideas first showed up in my story _Red_ , the tale of first time Naboo Senate candidate Darth Sidious.  They also appeared quite a bit in _Fulcrum Part Two_ , to the catcalls and howls of some readers.  But they reached their fruition in this story, written immediately post-election.  This past election felt as bitter as a war at some points.  Writing the election into the fic was sort of therapeutic.  All this US politics might go right past non-US readers, so apologies if you were lost at points.

This crazy election seemed to be the perfect metaphor for the war that forms the backdrop for my story. Honestly, as a writer I just couldn't resist. I'm not saying that Trump is a Sith or Hillary is General Leia or that America is headed for another civil war, but I am saying that the very real differences in world view, in policy and in style that exist between those candidates are the sorts of differences that would form the backdrop for the conflicts that might grow into this war. Some fervent supporters on both sides of the recent election seem incapable of seeing the perspectives of the opposing view.  If anything, the post-election rhetoric has gotten worse.   More smug, more condescending and dug-in, and generally intolerant of dissent. Everyone is talking loudly and talking past each other. And ordinarily polite and nice people write crazy social media posts that I just ignore. That's how high passions are running for some people I know months later.

And then there's the rest of us. Those of us who are tired of it all and wish the hoopla would go away. We don't have a lot of faith in the promises of politicians anyway so we can't get too excited about whoever won. I can imagine that a galaxy at war for so many years might have a lot of citizens who are similarly weary and jaded. Rey is one of these people. Maybe you are too.

Obviously, the US election is not a perfect metaphor for the First Order and the Resistance. But it is a shorthand way to allude to a real world conflict that conjures up the right sense of passion, frustration and maybe even futility that I want for my story.  This is a writing quirk of mine.  Anyone who has read closely my fics will notice that I throw around a lot of random anachronistic non-SW references here and there. The goal is to use these allusions to conjure a visual idea or a theme or a concept in a shorthand way. Hopefully, these references are not so jarring as to throw the reader out of the story.

I’ll be honest, I also kind of like the political backdrop of SW.  I really enjoy the ambition of the prequel movies, even if they weren’t that well executed.  But the prequels were especially disappointing in their paltry explanation of the complicated politics behind what’s going on in Episodes 2 and 3.  Regrettably, it’s the same with _Force Awakens_.  I don’t feel like we know much at all about what’s going on in the galaxy between the First Order, the New Republic and the Resistance.  So, I just made up my own version.  Influenced, as noted above, by the current US political dynamics.  Things are not as black and white/good and evil because usually that’s how life is.  There are two sides to every conflict.  And that wily old liar Ben Kenobi is right:  truth does depend on your point of view.

The short glimpse we get into the Rebel Alliance in _Rogue One_ supports my view that the Rebellion (later the New Republic and Resistance) is disorganized and messy.  And those traits really hamper their effectiveness.  I extrapolated quite a bit from those characteristics, of course, but I like to think that there is grounding in canon for those ideas. 

This story’s version of the Rey character is a bit different than I have written in the past.   She’s less damaged and has fewer self-esteem issues.  She is in many ways far less accepting and trapped than the Mommy Rey of _Fulcrum_.  But she is still quite trapped, and she knows it.  _Fulcrum_ ’s Rey was motivated almost exclusively by her little son, and that led her to make compromises and adopt attitudes that she probably wouldn’t have otherwise.  That Rey didn’t care about the Force, the Resistance and the war, she only cared about her son.  And then later on, her Kylo. This Rey has largely been agnostic about the war that surrounded her on Jakku.  But the more she learns of it, the more confused she is because Rey is basically the archetype of the First Order supporter.   Her vantage point allows her to see sides of the First Order and Kylo Ren that she hadn’t seen before.  And that makes her less certain of what she thinks.

In all of my Reylo fics, Rey is a version of a damsel in distress.  She shapes her own destiny, but she never does on it her own or even on her own terms.  Because that’s not how life typically is for women.   We’re just not selfish enough to think only of ourselves.  There’s always some strong influence from someone else—usually a husband/lover, a child, or just family generally.   

I also don’t write Rey with a lightsaber in her hand a lot (although, she does almost take some First Order guy’s head off with Kylo’s borrowed saber in _Fulcrum_ ).  That’s not because I don’t want a strong female character, but because I like the idea of strong women shaping things in ways other than the threat of violence.  My Rey uses the Force mainly for defense or to help people—she’s more Jedi like in that regard.  That’s not to say that Rey is weak or not capable of holding her own.  But she didn’t survive all that time on Jakku by picking a bunch of fights she couldn’t win.  And you don’t pick a fight with the Sith lightly.   Cresta Cole, Darth Sidious’ secret wife, has a speech on this in _Fulcrum Part Two_ —that there are many ways for women to be strong.  You don’t have to blow things up or be a general in order to live a meaningful, important life.  I truly believe that.  And I don’t always agree that women are empowered by simply taking a male character archetype (a superhero, a super villain, some authority figure role) and changing the gender to be female.   That seems almost gimmicky to me.  If you have read any of my fics, you know that I always focus on female characters and their relationships to the Sith.  I’m so enamored with the idea of the various women in a galaxy far, far away.    My women have different goals and personalities, but at their core they are all women.  Which means they have to put up with the shit their men do and say and think.  Sometimes because they have to, sometimes because they want to, and sometimes because it’s just easiest to go along. 

And let’s face it, the Sith are pretty much the ultimate in patriarchy.  That’s why Rey gets her girly makeover.   Because Snoke likes the ladies, and he likes them looking pretty and feminine.  You’re not a Sith wife if you don’t appear in a fancy dress at least one point in my story.  That’s pretty much how my Sith wifeys are—deceptive in appearance.  Scavenger Rey looks like a princess even if she’s from trashy Jakku.  Snoke’s Shan is a demure trophy wife ostensibly even if she’s got her lightsaber hidden in her handbag at all times and she becomes basically a professor of Sith languages and lore.  And over time pretty much everything about Sidious’ ballerina wife Cresta becomes a secret.  Oddly enough, the least controlling of my Sith where women are concerned is Darth Sidious.  He pretty much lets Cresta do whatever she wants and theirs is the most modern relationship of all my Sith couples.  Snoke, of course, is the most controlling and medieval in relations between the sexes.  Kylo fits somewhere in the middle, I think.  And that’s most powerful, ambitious men, in my experience.   They aren’t threatened by their woman’s success so long as it doesn’t rival or impede their own.   

The idea of power--who wields it and how--is very important to my Sith AU.   All of my Sith wives exert strong influences over their husbands and also galactic events.  But it's not just women. Milo, the revived, never aging manservant to Darth Plagueis has a huge influence in my other stories, although his role in _Immune to the Light_ is more like a cameo.  He's Snoke's go-between and spy in A New Hope, he's a mentor and friend to Rey in _Fulcrum_ , and he's buddy of sorts/partner in crime to Shan in _Fulcrum Part Two_.  And there are some small characters like Snoke's fourth wife Pilar, a former slave in _Red_ , who make their influence felt even if they cannot be overt about it.  

If you are interested in reading more about Snoke’s Jedi seer wife Shan Damask who appears in this story in the holochron, you might enjoy _The Fifth Wife_.  That story also includes some of the backstory between Sidious and Snoke.  Shan is an everyday Jedi—nothing special in her own mind and in the view of the Old Republic Jedi Order.  She’s no badass Ahsoka Tano, she’s a librarian/historian for the Jedi archives.  Until she accidentally meets a Sith lord at a Jedi picnic, that is. 

The story of how Darth Sidious came to have a secret Jedi daughter is told in _Red_.  This is the source of the Rey-Emperor Palpatine connection that appears in this fic. I laid the groundwork for this in _Red_ , but I never connected all the dots.  It felt right to so it here because you know Kylo would be so into this idea.  And because it's pretty clear that Rey is set up to have some important heritage in the movies.  And, yeah, I know it makes for a small universe.  But still, I went for it. 

This story has plenty of my version of Skywalker angst.  Maybe I lay it on too thick, but I think it belongs in a Reylo tale because the weight of the family history is the root of much of the conflict.  It's a legacy of so much struggle and misfortune.  This is the first time I have focused on it as a cycle, on the futility of it all.  And this was my initial impression of _Force Awakens_ when I saw it last year.  Mr. Blue and Sister Blue loved that movie from the outset but I was very iffy.  We came home from the Thursday late night opening show and I remember sitting down talking to my babysitter about the movie. I told her that I didn't know what the point of the whole original trilogy was if this is where we ended up thirty odd years later.

I remember feeling so very sad for Leia Organa.  Her marriage broken and then her husband dead, her brother having walked away, and her grand dream of a New Republic lost.  You have to wonder how she feels about her life in retrospect--was it all worth it?   Leia is a very committed rebel when we first meet her in _A New Hope_.  Who knows if she still has this zeal so many years later.  A bit of the frustration of Leia's experience makes it into this story.   She is left cleaning up the mess of the galaxy as best she can when our other heroes walk away.  There’s something so commonplace about that role for women, I think.  While we aren’t all saving the galaxy, there are plenty of women who struggle through life being responsible at their workplace, raising families on their own, and doing the everyday thankless tasks of life without help because a man left them/died/won’t help/is a loser. 

In this story, Luke Skywalker has basically checked out of the conflicts that rage around him. I have some sympathy for this viewpoint. He's not a coward by any means so much as he is trapped in a life and a role he doesn't want.  Just like Leia, this isn't what Luke signed up for.  And that's sort of fitting because I think Anakin Skywalker might feel the same way about his life--his miserable, lonely, pain-filled life as Darth Vader is not what he signed up for.  (Isn’t that Mustafar castle/bacta tank scene in Rogue One amazing in how much it conveys about Lord Vader with minimal dialogue?)  I am very intrigued by what the explanation will be for Luke's absence when we get Episode 8 next year--Luke has some explaining to do in my mind.  I really hope the script writers don’t gloss over this point and all the hurt/anger that might flow from it. 

For all the power and glory, being a Skywalker can be a crappy life.  There's something to be said for living a normal, boring life--something Kylo ruminates on a bit in this tale.  I believe that Lucasfilm has described the episodic Star Wars films as the Skywalker family saga, and that's how I see my Sith AU tales.  It's a story of a family writ large over important events in a galaxy far, far away.  Family was a huge theme of _Fulcrum_ but it got resolved differently, as Kylo set about to simultaneously destroy his family and create a new one with Rey.  In the end, he succeeds--sort of.  I took a different approach for _Immune to the Light_.  The goal was to get the Skywalkers back together again—well, most of them.  And this tale preserves the clan--sort of.  

You never get exactly what you want on the Dark Side.  Sith happy endings look a bit different than your ideal.  This is a theme that comes up time and again in all of my Sith AU.  My lovers remain together but with battle scars and sacrifices that change them and change their relationship.   In my other pairings, one woman gives up a child, another woman loses a child, and one woman loses the Force.  In this story, Rey gets an unexpected and unwanted child.  Those are meaningful events that have repercussions for them and for their Sith, sometimes far into the future.  One of the reasons I wanted to write that little vignette of Snoke and Shan on the holochron was to revisit characters years later after their reconciliation.  Snoke and Shan still have plenty of conflict—don’t all marriages?—and happily ever after doesn’t always mean things are terrific. 

I have a lot to say about Star Wars, and my fics are full of all sorts of observations and interpretations that some will no doubt find tedious or wrong.    But I hope my writing is enjoyable and adds something to your enjoyment of this genre.   I also want it to be a different take on what’s already out there.  Thanks again for reading!


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